My Heart Beats for You
by Emom
Summary: Sometimes people come into your life for one reason, to save it, but are you able to do the same for them when they need you the most? Mike Stoker, Izzy Newman (OC).
1. Chapter 1

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. ~Joyce Brothers

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: And thus another journey begins. Thank you for those who choose to join me. Let me know what you think, thanks!_

* * *

_CHAPTER 1_

FUNNY FEELINGS

Some say that there is a palpable electricity that permeates the air around you when something is about to happen. It's not something you can touch, taste, or even smell, but still ... you know it's there.

Waiting.

The on duty firemen of Station 51 A shift moved around the station completing assigned tasks that had been handed out by Captain Hank Stanley. Anyone not familiar with this particular crew would have painted them as surly, unfriendly, on edge, and most likely downright cranky. But Hank did know his crew. Better than the back of his hand most would say. Working alongside these men for a few years now he could predict almost to the tee how each would react in almost any situation they encountered.

That is until today.

He walked through the bay as John Gage, paramedic and fireman, mopped then onto the Dorm where Chet Kelly and Marco Lopez, linemen cleaned up and scrubbed the bathrooms. Propelling forward he found Mike Stoker, engineer, making a grocery list for dinner as Roy DeSoto, paramedic, swept the day room floor and cleaned off the table.

To the untrained observer one would see men going about their jobs, quietly and without disruption. For Hank it was alarming. There was something in the air today, he could feel it and by the way they were acting, so could they. Its tangible presence seemed to thicken the space and bring along an edginess that was making Hank dread the rest of the day.

They watched him, but no one happily greeted him. It was more of a somber or anxious 'morning Cap' that he would receive and he was sure his wife would accuse him of acting like a mother hen counting her chicks if she saw what he was doing. But he felt uneasy too as if one of them would vanish if he blinked too long.

"He's making me nervous," Johnny mumbled to Roy as they met by the squad storage doors.

Roy looked up and listened until the footsteps had returned to his office and closed the door, for the third time since the shift had begun. He shook his head with his own feeling of restlessness as they began sorting through the trauma and medicine boxes' making sure everything was accounted for.

"Just give him his space. He feels it too."

Closing the last box in front of him and locking the clasp into place he slid it into the side compartment of the squad and reached down for Roy's. "What is it with today anyway? Feel like we're just waiting for something really bad to happen." An involuntary shudder went through his body and his next glance found Roy eyeing him as if he was the one about to disappear.

"What?" Johnny exclaimed.

A chuckle erupted along with a smile. "Nothing Junior. You ready for a run to Rampart for the supplies?"

"Anything to get out of here for a little while." Johnny said as he tried again to shake the heavy feeling off his shoulders.

Roy had already followed the footsteps back into the kitchen and after securing the last box he headed into the living area to find Hank.

Chet was now lounging on the couch with Henry draped across his legs as he held the remote and flipped channels though he was seemingly oblivious to what he was passing by on each one. Mike was sitting at the table reading the paper yet keeping an eye on his Captain who was circling the table with a nervous energy that he wasn't even aware of.

"Cap, Johnny and I are going to run to Rampart for supplies." Roy called out to him.

Hank nodded and then very uncharacteristically he added, "Be careful".

Even Mike looked up at him.

Roy smirked and bit his tongue to keep the "yes mother" from erupting from his lips. His eyes reflected back his understanding of where his leader was coming from and that yes, it was appreciated.

* * *

Dixie McCall, RN slammed the clipboard on the desk as she approached it causing Johnny to literally jump back seeing how he was in the line of fire. She looked up with apology in her eyes.

"Sorry Johnny, it's a bad day."

"Well, hate to tell you Dix but the day is just starting." Johnny replied trying to keep the conversation light.

Roy rolled his eyes knowing that was not what she wanted to hear. A quick glance in her direction and she instantly revealed that she was not in the mood for humor.

She paused with her hands on her hips. "Well you know what Johnny that _really_ helps a lot. Since you seem to have so much free time on your hands why don't you go find some more patients for us then?"

Instantly she regretted the sarcasm as she watched his face fall like an admonished child. Taking a deep breath she tried to take back her harsh words. "I'm sorry Johnny. I can't explain it, but today is just, I don't know… weird."

His eyebrows shot up. "You guys too?"

Roy stepped in to attempt and smooth things over. "We're having a very," he paused to find the right word, "uneasy start to the day too."

Dr. Kelly Brackett walked up behind them and handed a chart to Dixie. "There's a first time for everything," he said shaking his head with disbelief.

"What's that doc?" Johnny asked.

"Lady got into her shower this morning and in the middle of it the water turned boiling hot on her. Gave her third degree burns on forty percent of her body."

Roy's jaw dropped. "Do they know what happened?"

He shook his head. "No explanation at all. Brice and Dwyer ran the call. When they checked the shower the water was normal."

This time the shiver went through Dixie. "This day needs to just get finished. I have a really bad feeling about it."

Roy picked up the supplies. "I'll agree with that one Dix." With a tug on his partners' arm they moved down the hallway back to the squad. Pulling away from the parking lot they began working their way back to the station.

"Why would that have happened?"

Roy sighed. He knew Johnny would over think it and regretted standing at the desk long enough to be caught up in the discussion.

"It was just a freak accident, nothing more."

Before the conversation could continue Roy caught the glimpse of a child run in front of the squad and he slammed on the breaks causing the tires to squeal and the rear to slightly fishtail.

When they came to a stop his hand went to his head where he hit the steering wheel, Johnny was shouting something, but at least he knew he was unharmed as he recoiled from the front dash, and Roy's other hand went for the squad door.

"You okay?" He exclaimed as he opened the door.

"What the hell happened?" Johnny said as he tried to catch his breath again.

Roy jumped out of the squad and with a heavy dread in his heart he ran to the front of the vehicle fully expecting to find a body under the tires.

But there was nothing there. Not a single sign of the kid that he had caught in the corner of his vision. His eyes darted around the area, searching along the sidewalks and parking lots for any sign of his existence.

By now Johnny had joined him as he tried to figure out what happened. "What is it Roy?" His voice was now laden with concern seeing the panic in his partners' eyes.

Roy shook his head. "A child, I saw a child run into the street." He kept pushing his head from one end of the street to the other. "I swear there was a child."

He reached up and wiped the sweat off his forehead grimacing with the action. His eyes met Johnny's and the younger medic knew there was no arguing with what Roy thought he saw.

"Geez Roy, you're bleeding."

Roy pulled is hand down and now was feeling the sting of sweat in the laceration on his forehead. "I'm okay."

Johnny pointed at him. "Don't move."

Moving to the side doors he unlocked them and pulled out the first aid kit. Returning to Roy he pulled out some four by fours and reached up to wipe the blood away in an effort to see how bad the cut was. Roy's efforts to swipe him away were met with equal resistance as Johnny did a brief assessment. At least as much as Roy would give in to.

"Well, you need stitches. Do you want to drive or me?"

Roy glared at him. He felt like he was losing his mind and Johnny was worried about a little cut.

"I don't understand it. There was a kid." He turned in another circle looking.

Johnny didn't doubt what Roy had seen, but at the moment they were alone.

"Don't look at me like that," Roy said in a low voice.

Johnny threw up his arms. "Look Roy, I never said you were crazy or that you didn't see a kid. But he dodged us or we missed him. Either way, the only one hurt is you. So let's go get it taken care of."

With a resigned sigh Roy climbed into the passenger side of the squad since by now his head was pounding. Johnny tried to hide the smile as he gripped the steering wheel in his hand knowing it was a rare occurrence that put him in this position. Then the smile disappeared knowing that it usually was because Roy was sick or hurt. Both prospects bothered him, especially now as Roy put his hand to his head again.

"Hold on Pally, we'll be there in two minutes."

* * *

"Thank God it's only a couple of stitches Roy and nothing worse," Dixie said as she cleaned the wound and applied the bandage so he could return to work. "You know I was just kidding about bringing more patients, right?" She smiled at him reflecting how much she did care about him.

He nodded his head.

"Roy, how are you feeling now?" Brackett stood back from the exam table, his arms crossed, concern in his tone.

"Better, the headache is fading." He reached down and pulled his shirt back on from where they had done a chest x-ray to make sure the bruises to his chest were only bruises and not an underlying complication.

"Well, everything checks out so you can return to work, but come right back here if you have a worsening headache or any chest pain."

He sat up and buttoned up his shirt. "And Johnny's okay?"

Kelly smiled knowing that of course that would be his only concern. The two men had been paramedic and fireman partners for several years now and were as close as any two brothers could be.

"He's just as stubborn as you, thank goodness. He's just fine."

Roy let out a breath. "Good." He still couldn't explain what had happened or what he had seen, but they were okay and the squad was fine at least. "Sure hope this day gets better."

"Amen pally," Johnny said as he came in the room. "Unusual doesn't even begin to describe it."

* * *

Roy sat at the kitchen table and filled out the accident report then slid it over to Hank who had hardly taken his worried eyes off him. "Here Cap."

"You're sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Feel a bit ridiculous though."

"Paranormal."

They both looked over to see Chet leaning on the kitchen table toward them. Hank rolled his eyes knowing the conversation was going to go downhill fast now.

Chet shook his finger at them. "I'm telling you this creepy feeling in the air, the shower, the mysteriously disappearing boy, it's the paranormal."

Johnny held his coffee cup and scoffed at him. "Chet your imagination is enough to stock the Twilight Zone staff for the next ten years."

Marco chuckled from the couch.

Chet stood back up. "I'm telling ya. Today's not right and you know I speak the truth Gage." He bit into an apple that he held only to immediately spit it back out, all over the table. "Aaackkkk!"

Hank had to jump up in order to dodge the spew, "KELLY!"

Sputtering and spitting out all the remains Chet felt nauseated at the taste in his mouth. He looked up at Mike. "Geez Mike, you trying to kill me or something?"

Mikes eyebrows went up at the accusation. "Sorry Chet. There fresh, I just got them this morning."

Marco reached down and picked up one of the worms that still wiggled on the table. "Your eating habits are disgusting Chet."

Chet was truly ready to hurl at this point.

Johnny pushed back the feeling of dread he'd been carrying since he stepped into the bay this morning. "Add that to your paranormal list Chet." Then he shook his head. "We've had weird days happen before; we'll survive this one too."

Silence permeated the kitchen as everyone looked to him as if prophetic words had been spoken.

Mike closed the refrigerator door and put some fresh oranges in the bowl that resided on the table. "I wouldn't test that theory Johnny, at least not today."

Before anyone else could speak the tones sounded.

_STATION 51, TRAFFIC ACCIDENT …_


	2. Chapter 2

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

What we see depends mainly on what we look for. ~John Lubbock

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: Thanks for the awesome welcome back! Love hearing from everyone. Keep reviewing, it speeds up the typing skills ;)_

* * *

Chapter 2

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

Pulling up at the designated intersection Roy was instantly confused when there were no obviously wrecked vehicles waiting on them. In fact there were no cars at all, no crowd had gathered around, and no police were present. He looked over to Johnny as the engine pulled up behind them.

Johnny put his hands up in the air. "I'm not saying a word."

Shooting him a frown Roy pulled to the curb as both hopped out of the vehicle and met up with Hank and the others.

"This is the right address Cap." It was part statement and part question on Roy's part.

Hank shrugged and picked up the HT. "Station 51, we are at scene with no traffic accident visible. Request clarification of address."

The static intermission was brief as the voice returned with, "Station 51, caller reports there is an accident at that intersection. Check with address of 461 Gunter Avenue, cross street Harper."

All eyes looked up at the street sign above their head, Gunter and Harper, then again to each other. Johnny raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the house on the corner. The mailbox said 461 so Johnny, Roy, Hank and Chet proceeded up the sidewalk.

The neighborhood was one of the older ones in the county though the houses were well kept and the lawns manicured with perfect little rows of flowers and potted plants that adorned this particular front porch.

Marco and Mike stayed behind with the engine as they continued to survey the area as if the possibility of finding the reported accident might be lurking in the bushes. They looked at each other and quietly smiled, their own effort of shaking off the uneasy feeling the clung to them today.

Hank reached the front door first and knocked, seeing there was no noise emitted from the ancient doorbell. The door was eventually answered by an elderly woman around 80 years of age who greeted them with a warm smile and motioned for them to come in as if she were inviting in old friends for cookies and tea.

Her health appeared frail and she was bent over with her aged back using her cane to help her move around. The sunlight shimmered through the windows reflecting off her blue hair and the men felt obligated to do as she asked thusly following her shuffling pace down the hall.

A few steps into the house she turned to them, wrinkled her brow and proceeded to wave her cane at the group. "Bout time you fella's showed up," she said then turned and continued her very slow pace deeper into the house.

They all turned to each other. Johnny took a breath to say something then thought better of it, Roy shrugged and Hank held the lead being the closest to her. He cleared his throat.

"Ma'am did you report a traffic accident."

When he got no answer he tried repeating the question a couple of decibels louder to help her apparent hearing issue.

She turned around to him with the look of a parent admonishing a child. "Well, of course I did young man. What else was I supposed to do?"

Roy smiled politely and kept the grin to a minimum. She didn't seem to be injured, but at this point they had no idea what they were responding to yet.

"Ma'am, were you in the accident?" He gently asked of her.

She waved her hand at him. "Oh goodness Son, no. Can't you see I'm just fine?"

Johnny started to mumble something, but stopped when Roy's elbow jabbed him in the side. They followed her to the living room where she went over to the TV, flipped through some channels and settled on what she wanted with a final crank of the volume to maximum. Sitting down in her chair she smiled as she watched it.

The men just stopped and stood there for a moment unsure what the next move should be. Hank walked up to her. "I'm sorry to bother you again, Mrs?"

"Ester Dodd, darling, just call me Ester." She patted his hand then went back to the TV.

"Mrs. Dodd," he paused waiting for her attention. When it didn't happen he cleared his throat.

She looked up. "Oh, are you all done already? Are you fella's just the nicest young men." Her smile was warm and genuine.

Chet snickered, but the glare from his Captain stopped him cold. "Not yet ma'am, can you tell us what we need to do?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you about the car yet?"

Roy shook his head and replied in his most patient and respectful voice. "Uh, no ma'am you didn't, not yet."

"Oh, dear me. My memory is getting terrible," she said patting her beauty shop hairdo. "Do you mind checking the car and Herbert for me hon?"

Now they might be getting somewhere. Johnny stepped forward.

"Herbert?"

"Yes, my husband. His eyes just aren't what they used to be and he sometimes has trouble parking the car."

Roy's warning bubble in his stomach was growing now and he knelt down beside her. "Ma'am, could you tell us where the car is?"

She gave him a big warm smile and placed her hand over his on the chair arm. "Don't you have the most beautiful blue eyes? My son has blue eyes and boy did I have a time keeping all the young girls away from him." She patted his cheek. "I bet you get chased all the time don't you?"

This time it was Johnny that snickered and got the Captain glare of impatience. Roy just smiled back to her. "Thank you, ma'am. Now, can you tell us where Herbert is?"

"Of course you sweet thing you. He's in the kitchen." With that she was done and returned to her TV show.

Roy stood up and shrugged at the others. "Guess we find him in the kitchen."

They moved through the small house, down a crooked hallway which seemed to have emptied into the kitchen area. When they rounded the corner they all froze for a half a second.

The kitchen relatively speaking wasn't large at all; very little counter space, a small round table with two chairs and just enough room to walk around it. The problem was that the kitchen table was no longer standing. It had a car parked on it. Apparently Herbert had driven through the garage wall and right into the kitchen.

Hank began barking orders. "Chet get the battery." He picked up the HT, "51, bring in the medic boxes."

Roy worked his way across the rubble to reach the driver's door only to find the elderly man smoking a cigarette and looking quite nonplussed.

"Mr. Dodd?" He asked as he watched Johnny reach the passenger door window about the same time.

The elderly man looked over to him with his eyebrows furrowed. "About time you showed up to get me out of this."

Johnny worked on opening up boxes and began setting up the line to Rampart as soon as Mike and Marco dropped them beside him. He was however, very glad to hear the man giving Roy a hard time. It was a good sign that serious injury had most likely been avoided.

With a little physical man power Chet and Hank got the driver's side door open and Roy moved in behind them to get vital signs on the protesting man.

"I'm just fine young man. There's absolutely no reason to manhandle me!"

Roy stepped back knowing all he did was take a pulse, but not wanting to increase the man's distress. His voice remained calm and patient as he communicated with his patient. "Can you tell me if anything hurts?"

"Young man I'm 86 years old, of course things hurt!"

Johnny grinned as he passed along what little information they had to Rampart.

"Yes, doc, the car is in the house. The driver is alert, oriented and voicing no….accident related injuries. BP is 160/80, pulse 100, respirations 18."

They all turned at the humming of Mrs. Dodd as she inched her way through the doorway, to the refrigerator and pulled out the tea pitcher. She pulled out a cup from the cupboard and poured a glass. When she turned around she almost seemed startled to see everyone there.

"Oh my Herbert, are you alright?" Her voice sounded shocked at seeing the car in the middle of the kitchen.

His tone changed completely as he addressed her. "Yes darling, I'm just fine. Why don't you go put your feet up and I'll bring that tea to you in just a minute."

Her eyes lit up as he spoke to her. "That sounds nice dear, thank you." Feeling reassured she shuffled back into the hallway and disappeared.

Mike stood behind Roy ready to assist where needed.

"Let's get you out of here Mr. Dodd," Roy said as he and Mike assisted the man out of the car, through the rubble and into a now upright kitchen chair.

The husband now spoke to Roy in a more reassuring manner. "I'm a little shook up son, but I'm not hurt. I can't go to the hospital because Ester can't be alone now." He saw the concern in the medic's eyes. "I'll call my doctor as soon as I make sure she is okay. I promise." Then with a deep breath he finished. "She needs me."

Roy nodded in understanding. His first responsibility was to make sure the man was alright and all signs pointed to the fact that it was reasonable for him to follow up with his physician.

The husband sighed and turned to Mike. "There's no such thing as loving them when it's convenient. When you give your heart away it's for every minute of every day or not at all."

Roy was moved by the words of wisdom and heard Mike answer the man. "Yes sir, it is."

The man dusted off his pants. "Now, young man, if you don't mind helping me out of here I have some calls to make and my wife needs her tea."

The crew was amazed that not only was he unharmed, but very much in charge of his wits. The men gathered up the boxes and moved down the hall thankful the call had gone smoothly, for the most part.

Mrs. Dodd walked up to Roy and handed him a lightweight jacket that obviously wasn't his. "Here hon, it's chilly out today and you need a jacket for school." She tusked with her tongue, "Can't have you getting sick on me." Reaching up she clasped his face in her hands and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Now skedaddle and be back in time for dinner."

The others just looked at him and fought to hold the snickers in.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, not sure what else to say.

Roy pushed the last box into the hold and closed the door. When he turned around all the men were gathered behind Hank, who held out the jacket.

"Don't forget this." He said with a straight face, a tusk of his own tongue and shake of his head. "Wouldn't want you to catch cold or anything."

As they laughed at the poor medic Roy took a deep breath and let them have their moment of glory knowing that the humor was a much needed reprieve from the heaviness of the morning.

Vince pulled up beside them and stepped out of his patrol car. "Did you guys see anyone running by here?"

They shook their heads in obvious confusion.

"What's going on Vince?" Johnny asked.

"Oh, nothing major. I was headed this way to follow up on the accident call when we got a weird anonymous call regarding a stolen coat."

The 51 crew bent over double with laughter as Roy walked over and handed, without speaking a word, the coat to Vince.

He looked lost, but accepted it with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Thanks Roy, guess I won't ask how you got it."

Roy shook his head and pointed to the house. "You'll understand when you return it."

Then ignoring his so called supportive co-workers he climbed back into the squad with Johnny and headed back to the station.

Johnny had kept quiet, but Roy could see him almost squirming in his seat.

"Just say it and get it over with," the older man said with resignation.

Johnny shook his head then after a moment spoke. "It may not be mystical today, but weird doesn't exactly cover it so far."

Roy nodded in agreement. "You got that right Junior."

"Besides," Johnny continued. "If we don't skedaddle back to the station Cap will have our heads."

His jaw tightened down some though he managed to hold his tongue knowing no words of wisdom would help him live this down. Honestly he was simply glad to hear Johnny having a more normal moment than to remind him how the day had started.

* * *

Backing into the bay Roy put the squad in park. Before he could open his door the radio went off.

"_Squad 51 are you available?"_

Hank picked up the HT. "Station 51 available."

The next sounds were the tones going off.

It was big, at least three alarms.

Whatever levity they had enjoyed moments before was now gone. As they pulled back into the busy streets of Carson the earlier feelings of unease were once again heavy in their hearts.


	3. Chapter 3

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

Red: divine energy, creative, destructive, the energy of the sun and life, heat, passion, celebratory, luck, happiness, courage.

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: Thank you for such wonderful reviews and messages. I love hearing from you and please kept letting me know your thoughts as the story unfolds._

* * *

CHAPTER 3

The Power of Red

"_Station 51, Station 110, Battalion 9, Engine 86. Structure Explosion…time out 1032…"_

The ride was hushed as all men knew it was something big and the need to focus their minds on what lay ahead and what would be asked of them in the next few hours. The wariness on their psyche was still there but they had to push it aside knowing the dangers of such doubts and distractions.

"_Companies approaching Waterfront and 4__th__ be advised of multiple fallen power lines." _The battalion Chief's voice resonated over the HT.

The squad reached the scene first and pulled down the narrow side road between two large warehouse buildings. After dropping lines, the engine pulled past them and Johnny and Roy joined the engine crew to see what job their Captain would need them to perform.

"Hank, pull your men to the east side. It's abandoned so there is no search and rescue going on." The Chief waved his hands to the as sundry of power lines that weaved all above them. "Stand clear of the southern exposure, we have multiple lines down and we're working on getting the power turned off."

"Okay Chief," he then turned to his crew. "Chet and Johnny, Marco and Roy, gear up and grab lines. The building is abandoned and everyone's going in."

"Aye Cap," the voices chimed in almost simultaneously as they rushed off to follow through with their assignments.

Mike manned the lines, adjusting the pressure according to the call of his Captain as he watched his coworkers and friends charge into the smoke filled building. Multiple small blasts could be heard and continued to shatter the large upper windows followed by billowing pillars of thick black smoke that thickened the air around them.

The waterfront warehouse area was littered with abandoned buildings. Some held the remnants of business long gone, however, most stood empty and forgotten. In general the area had been neglected, with maintaince being a word of the past, while each call here sent dread into those who answered it.

Mike's eyes ran a wary survey of the surrounding area. To the north the building folded around the block in a giant L shape with that end fighting for survival as fire raged out from every orifice in absolute defiance of the onslaught of men that tried to control it.

Straight ahead of him held the main entrance where his friends and coworkers had entered in an attempt to gain some form of foothold on the cargo that was left behind in hopes of preventing further explosions and thus containment from their end.

For now, his job was to monitor and wait.

* * *

The crowd had filtered out leaving behind a smoke laden room, cluttered with trash, beer cans, and the stench of a hangover. Even the music had fizzled out and the band was tiredly packing up eager to get out of there and find some respite before the next onslaught. She propped on the barstool, her long legs crossed, and counted the tips with her brow wrinkled up in displeasure at how slim the pickens were for the night.

Scanning the room and seeing no one around she slid behind the long bar and moseyed up to the cash register, her hands toying with the various buttons. With another quick glance she clicked it open and pulled out a fifty, discreetly tucking it into her bra strap then pushed the drawer back in silently.

Turning back to the bar she grumbled at the as sundry of liquor bottles that were scattered about and began placing them back into the correct positions for quick grab. The newest bartender was frustrating to be around. He was unorganized, didn't know his drinks yet, and despite hours of training still couldn't get his act together to be ready for the next door opening.

With the last bottle placed she leaned against the counter facing the large wall mirror at the back of the bar. She eyed herself with scrutiny knowing that the end of a night club shift left her haggard and weary to say the least. Her bright red hair had tumbled out of its messy tie back and now fell in curly waves down past her shoulders. Green eyes reflected her weariness while her soft fair coloring seemed more washed out than any other time.

Pressing down the wrinkles from her denim skirt and kicking off her cowgirl boots she turned and placed both hands on the countertop.

"Jake!" She yelled into the now empty club. "Jake!"

"What the hell?" The middle aged man said as he came around the corner. In his forties, sporting a beard and mustache he looked furious when he saw her next to the register.

"Jake, I counted for the night. If you don't stop shorting the till you're not going to have a job for much longer!" She barked at him with her hands on her hips and her face turning red.

"If that till is short then it's your own greedy fingers that are making it that way. I swear Izzy if you don't leave me the hell alone."

When he saw the big smile break out on her face and the total joy that she radiated he couldn't help but stop the game and smile back. Slowly he sauntered over and then quickly reached into her shirt taking out the bill that was tucked under the strap.

She promptly smacked him right in the chest, "Jake!"

He tilted his head and raised his brows. "Just taking back what isn't yours."

Her laugh filled the room as she snatched it from his hand and returned it to the register. "You're a…"

"Hey, hey." They both turned to see the older man who owned the bar stroll in. "I'm not having any of that mess in my bar."

Izzy quickly turned around and put on her innocent face. "Jake started it."

Jake looked shocked, in a much too exaggerated manner with mouth agape, then reached down and picked up her boots. "Any girl that wears flaming red boots is far from innocent."

She threw her head back and laughed again before putting the boots back on.

"Are you two done?" The older man asked.

Jake nodded, "I'm out of here unless you need me to lock up Mr. Newman."

He waved Jake off. "We got it. Go home, get some rest. Tonight will be crazy."

With another nod Jake headed down the back hall and out the door.

"You're a trouble maker." Newman said to the energetic young woman in front of him as he tried to ignore her radiant smile.

With a tilt of her head she replied, "And you'd have it no other way I'm sure."

He sighed. "Well, since you run this place, keep the books, do the ordering and well, have an inside line with the boss, guess I have no choice."

Standing on her toes she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "Money is counted, I'll make the bank run and I'll see you tomorrow night Dad."

He wrapped his arms around his only girl. "Don't know what I would do without you Isabelle."

"You do just fine and don't forget it." She looked around the room. "Make Kat clean this up before you let her go. She'll try to get around it; don't let her get away with it."

"Wait, you're not back tonight?" He suddenly sounded concerned.

"No dad, remember I'm covering for Sue extra tonight." She reached under the bar and grabbed her small backpack.

"Honey, its Friday. The crowd isn't gonna be happy that you're not here."

She patted his arm. "I've called in Mark to help Jake with the bar. Kat is coming in extra to help tend the floor and I've confirmed the Sadler Band to perform. You'll be fine, don't worry so much."

He nodded at her though obviously not pleased with her not being around on a more regular basis.

With another quick hug she waved goodbye and with a pang of worry she closed the door to her home away from home. This was the time where she had to put those worries aside for the time being and focus on what lay ahead for the rest of the day.

The walk home was short, only five blocks away and once inside her apartment she by passed all the boxes that still needed to be unpacked and changed clothes. With running shorts, tank top and tennis shoes on she picked up the small radio with headphones and jogged down the three flights of stairs to the street. After turning the volume up she started to run.

It was her ritual after working the club at night to take a head clearing run to the park and back. The eight miles allowed her to work through issues she faced trying to manage the family business which often included dealing with difficult personalities. There were other concerns, outside of the club, but she struggled to not let them invade her brain when she knew that work was coming next.

It was easy to tune out the crowds, the honking car horns, police officer whistles and even the occasional siren that sped by. There was little that some Queen, Meatloaf, Sex Pistols and Clapton couldn't sing away. The smell caught her attention before the smoke did. Pausing at a red light she looked up into the sky, along with the rest of the crowd, and realized the smoke could be seen for miles. Turning from her usual path she headed towards the dock area with a growing anxiety in her stomach. She knew the area was abandoned and if another building was going up in flames it wouldn't lead to anything good.

The area was sectioned off by police and she could see numerous fire trucks scattered through the parking lots and streets, more than any one place should ever need. It was big, the red hot flames reaching to the sky from one end while the other smoked like a factory in full production. Sirens filled the air and she could hear the distant walkie talkies blaring orders and strategies to the mass of firemen that covered the block.

As usual a crowd had already formed and she skirted around the edge of it working her way to the farthest building and slipped behind a police line unnoticed. This was highly unusual for her; never before had she sought out a dangerous situation such as this. Los Angeles was a big city and always full of one crisis after another. She wasn't a gawker or one that prayed on death and destruction, but something was calling her to be closer. Without thinking her feet continued to move and her skin began to tingle with the electricity that filled the air.

The danger was palpable and she could feel its weight on her bones. Her skin tingled and the hair on her arms and back of her neck stood up with a charge that pulled her forward. There was a reason, she knew that much, though she had no idea what the reason was yet.

Her hand reached out and touched the giant red fire truck, her fingertips skimming along the hot metal surface as she walked along the back of it. Awe filled her at its power, force, and beauty up close. With her eyes closed she could feel the surface hum knowing the energy it radiated providing the life saving water that so many needed as protection.

Reaching the back rear corner her eyes opened, already feeling the searing heat coming from the building in front of her. Red flames of anger and fury seeming as hot as the sun taunting those that defied it. To an untrained eye it seemed chaotic as firemen in their tan coats, black helmets, tanks and face masks ran all around fighting the campaign in front of her.

She knew that any minute someone would shout at her, reminding her that she was completely out of place and needed to get out of their way. But, for some reason she felt protected with this big red truck between her and the beast ahead.

Captured by the commotion she inched her way around the back bumper and stood before the giant numbers. Every truck had them; she'd seen them before as they drove past speeding through the city streets on missions unknown. What exactly they meant she wasn't sure, but they seemed important, seemed somehow vital to the men that rode under their protection.

Maybe it was the smoke she was breathing in, or the deafening sounds that enclosed her, but she felt almost dizzy with the arduous, palpable tension that the air held. Turning away from the large painted "51" she faced the raging fire, explosions, and shattering glass in front of her.

None of that compared to the scene that unfolded right in front of her as her feet stilled, her body froze, and tears filled her eyes knowing that all their lives would change in the next few seconds.


	4. Chapter 4

_MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU_

The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next. ~Mignon McLaughlin

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: A longer chapter for you this time. I just couldn't find a stopping place without inciting a riot._

* * *

CHAPTER 3

THE CALL

The Chief had warned about the danger on the southern exposure. Mike didn't have to look. He could hear the sizzle of hot wires over the barrage of noises that engulfed those who fought the battle from the outside. In his mind the power company wasn't moving fast enough as he traced the lines draping across the building's roof like ribbon on a giant present.

His mind redirected to the HT, listening intently to the activity that was going on inside and his eyes stayed glued to the door that his friends had disappeared into.

Once inside the building the two teams encountered thick smoke but visible flames were not immediately seen. Chet and Johnny took the lead down the short hallway with Marco and Roy behind them. Hank followed up as he constantly calculated and recalculated to determine the best plan of action.

At the end of the small hallway it opened into a large warehouse with a right sided metal stairwell leading up to offices, their doors visible from below. A worn metal railing bordered the other side of the path from the offices leaving the entire area questionable at best.

However, there were fires visible in both areas that had to be dealt with.

"Chet, Johnny take the lower level, Roy, Marco upstairs," Hank directed.

Chet took the lead with Johnny behind him, his hand pressed on his back for guidance and support as they moved through the near zero visibility corridor which opened up into a large exposed area. The floor was littered with trash, hundreds of bags of packing material and a collection of dilapidated packing crates. The heat was palpable working its way through all layers of protection as it pressed against their skin and quickly worked at draining their energy. Johnny could hear his Captain at his back with his continual relay of coordinates and updates to the Chief.

"Wide sweep Pally," Hank shouted to Chet and saw the nod of acknowledgement.

Johnny pointed up reflecting the same concern that echoed in Hank's head regarding the groaning they were now hearing from the upper addition that held Roy and Marco.

"DeSoto, finish up and get down from there, sounds like it's gonna go," he radioed to the men above with a knot growing in his gut. He knew they were running out of time fast and prayed at getting his men out before all the internal structures decided to let go and give up the fight.

The younger medic's adrenaline was running high which was pretty typical for the job, however, being separated from his partner added to his apprehension. They all carried the extra sensation of unease that had clung to them all morning. His eyes floated between Chet, his Captain and the suspended flooring above them.

Roy waved down to his Captain from the railing then continued with opening each office door which were now long deserted and only held enough remnants to fuel the beast. He was grateful that none of the fires were large and Marco efficiently doused them in an attempt to keep things under control.

Roy mimicked his Captain as his feet felt the floor underneath them with concern. They knew the internal constitution of this building was below par when built, much less twenty years later. Providing support to Marco, they pushed forward to finish the floor as quickly as possible and get back down to the others. His own internal warning system was telling him that time was growing short.

Marco held the hose as Roy moved to the last door and pushed it open. The flash explosion knocked them both on their backs as they struggled to push themselves in reverse from the flames, their boots scraping the metal grated floor. Quickly they were pressed against the railing revealing the limited space between falling and flames.

Down below Chet redirected his hose to the men above in an attempt to protect them from the blaze that reached out to them. Johnny turned to go up the stairwell but was immediately stopped by Hank. When he tried to protest Hank pointed to the supporting structures.

They were now bending and twisting, no longer able to support the makeshift second floor any longer. Johnny quickly scanned the area in hopes of finding some way to get them down safely and quickly.

"You okay?" Roy shouted through his mask as he helped Marco get his hands back on the hose.

Before Marco could reply the floor under them gave out and they both began grabbing for anything that would stop the free fall to the hard concrete surface below.

Johnny glanced back at Hank as they watched the floor collapse from the far end nearly bending it in half. Marco was holding on with his arm looped through a railing. The metal was digging into his skin and painfully pressing against bone, even through the coat as he struggled to pull himself back up. The weight was too much, as Roy held onto this leg and dangled from below.

Hank took seconds to appraise the situation and determine the quickest manner to save his men.

Then he heard Johnny yell. "ROY LET GO!"

Hank had a moment of panic. Let go? They were too high there was no way they could escape serious injury. Then he looked to where Johnny pointed, underneath Roy and Marco.

"LET GO!" he yelled also.

The structure began moving again and Roy knew when it let go completely him and Marco would be at the bottom of the rubble. He couldn't see the others well and had no idea what was underneath him, but his best friend and partner, the man he trusted with his life, was telling him to let go.

So he did.

The sensation of brief free fall could be fun, in the right situation, but at this time it was nothing short of terrifying and Roy had no idea how hard the impact would be. He attempted to twist his body to keep himself from falling onto his back and directly onto his tanks. When he hit he was surprised to not only be conscious but the pain of his shoulder impacting was minimal. Hank and Johnny's hands were there immediately to pull him up and he found himself covered in melting packing material.

Quickly they pulled him to the side and while Johnny checked to see if he was hurt, Hank yelled for Marco to do the same. Within seconds of pulling Marco off the pile they all lunged for safety as the structure collapsed into wreckage right next to them.

"You two are the luckiest things I think I've seen in a long time," Hank said through his mask as he shook his head.

A large rumbling followed by pieces of ceiling falling in front of them got them quickly to their feet and on the move.

"Command, 51, we have ceiling breakthrough on the second floor and roof!" He shouted as the noise around them grew. "Pulling out."

"EVERYONE EVACUATE NOW! CLEAR THE BUILDING!" Came the general alert as they headed down the hallway.

It was the only warning they needed as they were already at a dead run for the door. They could all hear the groaning of the structure as it sent out its last SOS call of impending doom. Instinct had them out the door and diving for the ground as the resounding boom of collapsing walls filled the air.

Mike watched as the alarm sounded through the HT, his eyes keeping watch over the door they would emerge from, if all were to be safe. As he saw his 51 family dive for cover and disappear in the black smoke storm that engulfed them, his legs propelled him forward a few steps. Then he stopped with an audible sigh of relief when they all quickly regained their footing and started making sure everyone had made it out safely.

Johnny focused on Roy, knowing he had already had one close call as Roy scanned the rest of the crew for any signs of immediate concern. As they dusted off and removed air masks they turned around to see the heap of rubble behind them and clapped each other on the back for actually making it out. Calls of safe exit filled the HT's as units reported, giving a collective deep breath from those involved knowing that everyone had made it out in time.

Hank soaked in the site of his crew, all of them out, even though they looked a bit worse for the wear with cuts, bruises and resounding coughs. But they had all made it out and for the first time today he felt like everything might be okay.

They turned and began walking towards the engine, with waves to Mike who now had a grin on his face for them, as they worked at pulling off tanks and hats. They knew the reprieve would be extremely brief as the Chief began reorganizing the units to tackle the remaining beast from the outside.

The air felt charged as the searing heat from the collapsed building wrapped around them, but there was something more. Racing out of a burning building sent one's adrenaline soaring, still Roy's eyes began searching the area as they walked towards the engine and squad.

Mike had turned back to the controls to prepare for the next stage of warfare, but what Roy's eyes caught was the almost surreal sight of a woman by the engine. His brow furrowed as he watched her touch the numbers on the back. Her red hair shimmered as if on fire as it reflected the flames behind them. When she turned her eyes locked on something besides the firemen heading in her direction and Roy watched her expression change from curiosity to alarm.

"What?" Johnny asked walking beside him as he tried to figure out what his partner was looking for.

"Girl," was all he could get out.

Johnny's first thought was of the boy earlier that Roy had claimed to seen. Now it was a girl and with instant belief his eyes searched for her with a decision to worry later if there was no girl there. But, there she was, a woman so out of place he almost laughed. That is until he also saw the look on her face.

She wasn't looking at them, but instead looking across the parking lot towards the other engines.

Johnny looked up again and tried to tune out the water, blaze, falling metal, and shouts of those around him. "What's she looking at?"

Roy shook his head knowing that something was very wrong. It was on the tip of his tongue and he could feel the electricity in the air making his skin almost crawl. Then he saw it too and her eyes shot down to meet his.

Hank looked up to see Mike striding towards them as relief washed across his face. It flooded him with deep gratitude knowing that his crew was a family who watched over each other. A glance backwards caught Roy's expression and he was puzzled as he followed the medic's eyes to what he was aghast at.

In that stilled moment of time several things happened. Roy dropped his tank and mask and broke into a sprint while screaming "MIKE!" passing and nearly knocking down Chet and Marco who were just in front of him. They started to call Roy's name wondering what was going on when Johnny figured it out next and was hot on Roy's feet though deep down he knew they couldn't reach him in time.

Hank turned towards Mike once he heard Roy shouting and began waving his arms watching in horror as the dropped power line, which had hit the ground, now trailed along the pavement arching and jumping.

Straight towards Mike.

Mike furrowed his brow as he watched Roy running towards him not understanding what he was yelling about then noticed that Cap was doing the same thing. Then out of the blue a woman's scream pierced the air and he turned his head towards her, his eyes locking onto her deep green ones for just a second, then to the fallen line heading straight towards him.

He had approximately two seconds to react.

His body swiveled in a single motion as he lunged for the Engine knowing in that instant he wouldn't be able to react fast enough.

The first searing pain he felt was at his side and he knew the line had found him. For the rest of the 51 family it was a living nightmare as they watched the cable dance across Mike's body in mid air, sending him into an instant convulsion.

Roy skidded to a stop and had to force himself to freeze as he watched the line envelop him, wrapping around his legs like a cowboy roping his steer, forcing the engineers' body to twist with agony. His hands grabbed Johnny and fought to hold him back as instinct battled to win over his own safety.

"Johnny!" His eyes met Johnny's. "NO!"

"ROY!" Johnny cried back, struggling to break free from his hold though deep down he knew they had to watch.

Mikes scream of pain cut through them like a knife.

Despite his own shock, he deeply understood what his junior partner was feeling as they watched their friend impact the pavement shoulder first then head, his body in near constant spasm while waiting for its grip to be released.

The wire moved, as if a choreographed show, off the fallen Engineer then continued to place itself between the crew and Mike. Everyone stayed agonizingly frozen knowing they couldn't reach him yet.

Then they saw her, the beautiful red headed woman who moved to their fallen friend. He lay crumpled on his side, motionless now and presumed without life anymore. Gently she rolled him to his back; carefully keeping his neck supported with his spine and opened up his coat. She leaned down and put her face right up to his, listening, then slid her fingers along his neck and paused for just a second. Without hesitation she began chest compressions.

"What's she doing?" Chet asked as they watched her.

"Saving him," Roy answered.

The line in front of them went silent and it was the signal they could move safely now as they all hit a dead run.

"Marco, Chet, boxes." Hank ordered as he updated the Chief, who had already joined their side, and called for an ambulance.

Roy immediately moved beside the stranger, seeing the tears in her eyes as she looked at him.

"Keep going," he said softly to her, sensing how afraid she was.

Johnny gave breaths as Roy took the boxes and began pulling out supplies. Chet quickly moved beside Johnny and placed the mask on Mike's face, beginning the manual breaths to inflate his shocked lungs. The crew worked silently each feeling staggered about what they had witnessed. They moved in such a coordinated manner even the Chief was amazed that words were not even needed.

Johnny set up the connection to the hospital knowing that every delayed moment was the enemy now and they needed help fast.

"Rampart, this is squad 51, do you read?"

"We read you 51, go ahead."

"Rampart, we have a male, firefighter, victim of high voltage electrocution, 27 years old. He is in full arrest. CPR is in progress." His voice seemed calm and in control except to those who knew him so well.

Hank stood back and watched his family struggle to save one of their own. Mikes cries of pain had been like a punch in the stomach to him and now, seeing him lifeless, he was left fighting back the nausea that seized him.

Mike may have been the quiet one of the station, but had clearly made himself an integral part of the A shift from the very beginning. It was normal for a Captain to form some type of bond with his crew and this group had seized his heart over the years. There was no way that a company of men could work in a life threatening field, shift after shift, for years and not form strong attachments. Johnny and Roy had become best friends and as close to brothers as possible. Chet was the family clown and though he got into trouble a lot Hank felt that anything less and he just wouldn't be the Phantom they knew and yes, loved. Marco served as a comrade that kept everyone's back safe, unfaltering in his faith, and steadfast in his devotion to the job and crew.

"51, can you get a strip on him?" Dr. Joe Early asked over the phone.

"10-4 Rampart, patching him in now."

Marco placed the patches on his chest as Roy connected them and flipped on the monitor. Next needed would be IV supplies. He glanced to the woman beside him who had remained silent though she continued the vigorous compressions and offered her an encouraging nod of his head.

He didn't know who she was, or where she had come from, but right now she was performing a vital role in saving someone so important to them all. He had no intentions of running her off now.

"Stop," he motioned to her as they watched the monitor. "Nothing." Roy said to Johnny, the heaviness in his heart reflected in his voice. They were all quite aware that the monitor was telling them he was dead.

"51, One ampule of Epi now IV, begin fluid of D5LR and follow with 1 amp sodium bicarbonate."

Johnny wrote it down as he repeated it back. "10-4".

Roy had the IV started quickly and pushed the first dose of Epi in followed by the bicarb. With trepidation in their hearts they watched the unchanged flat line move across the small monitor screen.

"51 repeat the epi as IC."

Johnny pulled up the medication in the syringe with the long needle. Roy motioned to the lady to stop the compressions as the medication was inserted. Without being asked she immediately resumed her job.

Chet watched her as the questions formed in his head. Her mysterious appearance and even more surprising her ability to assist in Mike's resuscitation made him very curious to say the least.

The next pause to assess the heart rhythm showed V-fib and for the first time Roy felt some hope that his friend might be able to survive this horrendous event.

"V-fib."

Johnny reached for the paddles and watched the woman follow him closely. When he leaned over Mike she continued the compressions until he said clear then immediately sat back on her heels. Once the shock was delivered she resumed them without direction.

Roy wanted to say 'who are you?' but knew now was not the time.

Following the second shock they all took a deep breath to see a normal rhythm on the monitor. Mike was back with them.

* * *

Her heart was racing and she felt that she might be the next one needing paramedic care. Adrenaline rush didn't even begin to express the pure horror that she had just witnessed. Instinct took over when she saw him hit the ground and knowing that the others were momentarily blocked by the electricity she knew it was up to her to help the fallen man.

The steps were easy. She had trained for this at work and it didn't worry her, but here she was out of her element, even if for just one minute, though it seemed like forever as she watched the other men's faces. They didn't know her or why she was there. Honestly she didn't either and right now wasn't the time to question it.

She did the steps. Compressions, breaths and didn't think beyond that. Even when they were beside her she kept going. The blue eyed fireman was kind and spoke gently to her as if he could feel the anxiety that oozed out of every pore. The others were more wary and she couldn't blame them at all.

IV's, medications, defibrillation to the chest were procedures she knew of and for an instant felt as if she was in her zone, if not for the fire burning behind them and blacktop underneath them. The concern these firemen had for their fallen friend was palpable. It took her by surprise to see such caring as they gathered around him and rallied him to come back.

And come back he did. That also took her by surprise. She had seen what he endured and there was no reason for him to have survived it. His heart beat was strong now, but there were burns to his side and legs which would serve as deep complications to his recovery. She did know that much and it made her sad.

As they got him ready for the ambulance she slipped back behind the big red engine and disappeared. The tears flowed freely now as she ran back home. She didn't hear anything behind her only the sound of her sobs for the man she tried to help save.


	5. Chapter 5

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

Rule number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it's all small stuff. ~Robert Eliot

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: Thanks for your patience. Between working 80+ hours a week recently and my daughter breaking her foot, I've been a bit sidetracked. Thanks so much for ALL the messages and encouragement!_

* * *

CHAPTER 4

Fear and Faith

They focused on the tasks needed to stabilize him and get him ready for transport. No one spent much time dwelling on the fact that he was their friend and co-worker, concern and worry lay over them like a thick winter blanket. As soon as they were in the ambulance Roy quickly placed the esophageal airway and handed the ambu bag to Johnny, who was positioned at Mike's head.

With painful worry for a man under his command, Hank pounded the back door signaling the driver they were closed up and ready to go.

Johnny and Roy's eyes conveyed what each one was clearly thinking.

"This is bad Roy," Johnny whispered.

Roy pushed more volume in and adjusted the IV fluids. "We got him back; at least he has a chance now."

The monitor alarmed showing the erratic pattern of V-fib again. Roy cursed under his breath and got out the paddles while Johnny continued the ventilations. He was thankful that a single shock to the chest quickly restored him back to a normal heart pattern. Arrhythmia following electric shock was expected since the heart was in an irritable condition, but that didn't mean they had to like it, at all.

"Come on Pally, don't give up on us." Johnny chanted the manta nearly imperceptibly.

When the back doors opened they were immediately guided to Treatment room 4 by Dixie who was already dressed in sterile gear. Inside the room, Early and Brackett along with a treatment team were standing and waiting on them. The solemn look on their faces spoke volumes as they watched Mike be moved from the stretcher to the treatment table. From that point the orders started flying as they called for spine, skull, and chest x-rays, multiple labs to assess heart, lung and kidney functions were just the beginning.

Quickly Johnny and Roy donned the special clothing needed to protect Mike from further risk of infection, with gown, gloves, hat and mask as per the burn unit protocol. Mike was descended upon by the trauma team as labs were drawn and his airway was replaced with intubation for ventilator support. IV fluids were expertly titrated to manage his heart and kidneys, while Joe prepped him for placement of a central IV access line.

Brackett looked at the blood gas, adjusted his ventilator settings and ordered bicarbonate to seek a stable blood acid balance in his system. Next he worked at cleaning the burn wound on his left side. The area was approximately the size of his palm, blackened at the edges with raw damaged skin in the middle. Once he had debrided the site he rinsed it with sterile water which held an antibiotic in it. The dressing was applied and he then moved to the two burn spots on Mike's left leg. Thankfully these were of a smaller size and less involved.

Johnny and Roy finally backed up to the edge of the room as they watched the team work and struggle to stabilize their friend. Joe came up to them with an update.

"Was his side the primary site of contact?" Joe asked the stunned men.

Roy nodded but couldn't find the words to speak yet.

"He's stable for now. We're going to move him up to the burn unit in just a few minutes."

Johnny took a deep breath. "How bad is it doc?"

Joe lowered his head and subtly shook it. "Serious, about as serious as it comes, but you got him here. It was a miracle that it happened with you there. If he hadn't gotten immediate CPR he would have never made it this far."

Johnny's eyes shot to Roy.

"Thanks Dr. Early. We'll update the crew as soon as they get here." Roy said sadly.

* * *

She stood in the shower with the water so hot it turned her skin red bordering on scalding it. Her hands were still shaking as she tried to wash her hair, her heart racing and pounding in her ears.

What was she thinking? What had possessed her to cross a police line and even more, what possibly made her think she could do anything for that poor fallen fireman? _This is bad_ is all she was able to repeat in her head, _really bad_. First she was in an area she shouldn't have been in, around equipment she had no business putting her hands on and worst of all…she wasn't licensed to provide care away from work much less working alongside Paramedics. The list of wrongs kept growing the more she thought about it.

Taking a deep breath her hands calmed as she remembered those men. She kept picturing the shock and pain on their faces as they worked on their friend.

What if they tried to find out who she was? Would they get her in trouble? Would they protect each other and their equipment at all costs?

Climbing out of the shower she dried and got dressed quickly. It would take some fast moving for her to make it to work on time and she allowed her mind to focus on that instead, at least for now. Reaching in the refrigerator she grabbed her dinner and with a last sweep for her keys she was out the door.

The music was loud in the car, forcing the speakers to boom and she unabashedly sang at the top of her lungs. Unfortunately the attempt to drown out her own thoughts didn't work and his face stayed in front of her, his deep eyes touching her heart.

She was determined to keep the tears in and the anxiety locked away as she pulled into the parking lot of her other job. It was time to focus on what lay ahead and not on what was already done.

Jogging inside the building she caught the elevator to her floor and dashed into the locker room to change clothes for work then pulled her hair back into a bun. Walking out to the desk she picked up the assignment sheet and scribbled down some details before looking for the off going nurse to get report.

"Izzy, what happened to you?" Carole said, as she looked at the woman.

The question caught her off guard. "What do you mean?"

The lady laughed. "You just look like you've seen a ghost."

Her laugh was half hearted since honestly she _had_ been dealing with the dead. "No, just a crazy morning is all." She looked down at her paper. "I just have one tonight?"

Carole nodded. "Yea, he just came up. An electrocuted fireman, it looks real bad."

Her heart skipped a beat, possibly two or three and she found it hard to swallow. It couldn't be, but then why couldn't it? She was charge nurse of the Rampart General Hospital Trauma Burn Unit; of course not only was it possible, but somehow meant to be.

She dressed out and entered his high technology burn trauma room.

Walking up to his side she easily absorbed the wall of electronic equipment. His color was pale and due to the sedation he was still. Lying here so helpless he seemed younger than her first impression of him by the red engine. Her training took over and worries of repercussions were put away.

"Well, I guess it's time we officially met." She ran her fingers across his forehead and pushed his hair to the side. "I'm Izzy, we met earlier which I know you won't remember, but now it seems I'm your nurse for the day. Let's get you seen about and tucked in here."

She reviewed his information sheet.

Charles Michael Stoker, age 27, single.  
Third degree electrical burns to left flank and left leg.  
Right shoulder dislocation, splinted.  
Concussion.

Condition: Critical, Level 4 Trauma.  
Level of Consciousness: Medically induced coma.  
Airway: Ventilator.  
Central Line/IV: Lidocaine drip, maintaince fluids, bicarbonate infusion, Morphine drip.

She gathered his vital signs, checked all the IV sites, set the medication pumps, documented the ventilator settings, checked his dressings, and recorded his output. This would be her routine every hour, on the hour until the end of her shift.

Standing by his bed she knew her tasks for the moment were complete, still she seemed unable to leave his side. Inexplicitly she was drawn to this man that had started his day with tragedy, and her by his side.

"Don't do it Izzy."

She turned around to see Carole standing in the door. "Do what?"

"I've been doing this for twenty years hon, I know that look," the older lady said with warning in her voice.

Izzy took a deep breath, turned away from the bed and gathered her paperwork. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Carole took her by the arm as she tried to scoot out the doorway. "His prognosis is poor. They don't expect him to make it through the night Iz. Don't get attached to him."

_Is it that simple? _She thought.

The older woman had years of experience on her, but somewhere along the way she had lost some of the passion and compassion for her job. She ignored the woman and returned to the main desk. Taking out the dry erase marker she moved to the patient assignment board and filled in his spot.

MICHAEL STOKER  
PRIMARY NURSE: I. NEWMAN

* * *

Roy and Johnny paced the waiting room while they waited for the others to arrive. Roy sipped on some coffee while Johnny kept replaying the scene in his head.

"How?"

Roy wasn't sure which question he was referring to, there were so many in his own mind right now. His look to Johnny reflected his thoughts.

"How was that line missed? How did we not see it sooner?"

Roy sat down beside him. "I have no idea Johnny, but we'll get some answers soon." He also thought about what had happened. "Who do you think she was?"

"I don't know. Where did she come from?"

"She was standing by the engine looking at it." He let out a sigh. "Johnny she knew."

"Knew what? What do you mean?"

"She saw that wire before we did." He stood up as his mind kept remembering and calculating. "Do you know that if he had of stayed there another few seconds that wire would have probably hit him in the head?"

Johnny shuddered knowing that not only did Roy speak the truth, but that it would have been instant death for Mike and they would have never gotten him back.

"That's not all she knew." He turned to Roy. "Did you see her do that CRP? She knew exactly what she was doing."

"Well, people are being trained in the public now," Roy tried to surmise.

Johnny shook his head. "No, it was more than that."

"I know." He understood what Johnny was eluding too. His brain was just too drained to process anymore at this point.

The elevator opened and a very tired, hot and weary 51 crew emerged from it. Hank was first off and came straight to them.

"Roy, any news yet?"

"They have him in the Burn Trauma Unit now. We're just waiting for an update."

Pouring them some coffee they sat down and waited for the update before returning to the station. Hank had put them 10-8 for a short time though he knew duty would call soon.

The next elevator ding held Joe and Kel.

"Fella's," Kel said.

Hank rose and shook his hand. "How is he doc?"

Kel never liked giving less than positive news. "The surface burns don't appear as severe as first presumed. That turn out coat offered him some protection, but the one on his side is still deep. His heart has stabilized and the arrhythmias seem to have stopped. The shoulder wasn't broken, just dislocated and his head injury seems to be only a mild concussion."

To the layman it sounded serious, but not life threatening. Brackett could see they didn't understand the implications involved. He put his hands in lab coat pockets.

"All the surface injuries are treatable. I'm not worried about them aside from keeping the burns clean and healing."

"But," Hank said with trepidation. He'd put in enough years in this field to know when doctors were holding back.

"An electrical burn is similar to the tip of an iceberg. Inside he has heart, lung, and kidney damage from the voltage. Each organ is at risk of complete failure. Right now we will keep him in a drug induced coma and heavily sedated."

Kel took a deep breath. "If he survives the night we will face an uphill battle to help him overcome the damage."

"If?" Chet said then sat heavily into a chair as the impact of it all hit him.

"I'm sorry fella's. You know we'll do everything we can."

"Of course, thank you Doc," Hank said sadly. "I've called his parents. They will be here as soon as they can but they live in Montana now."

"Thank you Hank." Kel replied.

"Can we see him?"

Brackett knew how much they needed that contact before they could rest for the night. His expectations were that Mike would begin to deteriorate soon, to a point that they most likely would not be able to bring him back from. Seeing how the man had no family here, and his parents probably wouldn't make it in time, he made a decision.

"Two to three at a time, you'll have to gown and mask up. Five minutes."

Roy felt the breath leave him. Luckily none of them had ever been in the burn unit, but he knew what an unprecedented move this was on Brackett's part. It was truly that bad. He didn't expect Mike to survive.

Hank, Marco, and Chet went in first complete with hat, mask, gown, and gloves. They had all experienced injuries, sometimes bad enough for the hospital and on a few rare occasions serious enough to land them in ICU. This however was different. Mike was surrounded by more drips and equipment than any had ever seen before. Multiple monitors followed his heart, lung functions, and blood pressure.

The splint on his shoulder was familiar, but beyond that the whole room was intimidating. Marco held his rosary in his hand and whispered a prayer while Chet felt his back press against the door. Hank stood beside Mike and was afraid to even touch his friend.

1`The nurse stayed over to the side at a small desk as she wrote in his chart.

"Talk to him, let him know you're here."

They looked to her, but she continued to chart and stayed at her desk. Hank took the man's hand.

"Michael, its Hank. We're all here with you pally and need you to keep fighting. Don't give up on us." He had to stop speaking as his throat was getting thick and constricting with emotion. "Fight."

He turned to the nurse with gratitude for her patience. "Thank you Miss."

She nodded briefly then went to adjust an IV fluid.

When those three returned to the waiting room Johnny and Roy could see how overwhelmed they were. Chet looked in his own state of shock; Marco's eyes were teary and red while Hank remained silent and solemn. The last two moved past them and dressed out. Their faces reflected exhaustion, black with soot, scratched up and heavy with grief. Johnny took one side as Roy took the other and they stood with him.

The medical training in them tried to absorb the surroundings and understand the medicines and fluids. Even to the untrained eye he was pale, the only breaths came from the ventilator, while the beeps of the monitors signaled the borderline tolerable limits that he teetered on the edge of.

Johnny couldn't speak as if any words he said would be saying goodbye. He wasn't ready for that. Looking at Roy he subtly shook his head and left the room, leaving Roy alone.

She would have protested this visitation with any other patient, much less a new admission. This one was special though and only she understood why. Fear had over taken her when she was there, so out of her comfort zone, performing procedures that had always been in the safety of the hospital.

And these men, what would they say? Would they tell administration and make her leave him?

Maybe it was crazy thinking, maybe not. Her mind was in such turmoil over this man in her care that she began to consider if it was best she be his nurse.

Then the men began coming in. The Captain and two others were first. She watched them, hidden behind her mask, speaking only when necessary and not doing anything to draw attention to herself. The incredible caring was easy to see as they stood around their fellow firefighter. This unit had unfortunately seen its share of firemen over the years, many success stories, and some with tragic endings. Never though, had she seen a crew react in this way.

From the fear in the eyes of the blue eyed medic that sent chills through her to their very presence here at his side, their despair thick in the air. She watched him sit in the chair near the bed as if taking up vigil for the duration and she began to worry she would have to ask him to leave. As nurse and protector it was her job to remind him to go, but some part of her didn't want to, not just yet.

Michael needed them now, more than ever and she recognized that. In the quiet she heard the door close and after she documented his latest vital signs she turned to check on him.

The blue eyed medic was standing inside the door and her eyes locked on his. She froze, suddenly afraid.

"Somehow I knew it was you," he said.

She expected harsh words, but his voice was soft and kind. Fear coursed through her and for the first time she was actually more afraid that she might have to leave Michael than she was of facing the consequences for what had happened at the fire.

"I'm sorry," was all she could get out, her hands fidgeting with each other.

He stepped towards her suddenly sensing her fear, but she took a step back. "No, it's okay. I wanted to tell you thank you for what you did for him."

She paused at his gentle smile.

"Look I know it was a lot to ask you to stay and help us, but I hope you know that you are the one that saved his life."

Shaking her head she couldn't allow herself to believe that. "I shouldn't have been there."

Roy took a step closer to her. "No, I think you were there at just the right time." He paused and tilted his head a bit. "Do you think you're in trouble over it?"

Her eyes met his again and he saw the fear that lingered.

"You're not and we are thankful that you were there."

"I knew it would hit him and I couldn't do anything about it."

He shook his head. "You did something. You warned him when you screamed and gave him the seconds he needed to move."

"It didn't make any difference." Her voice was riddled with sadness.

Roy took her hand. "It made all the difference. If he hadn't moved it would have most likely hit him in the head, then you started early CPR. You made all the difference."

The tears ran down her cheeks. "Thank you."

"Take good care of him for us." He turned to Mike's bed. "There's been more than once that everyone has given up on one of us and we proved them wrong. Mike can do the same thing." He looked back to her.

Her eyes shined and a smile graced her features. "He'll be in the best of hands tonight."


	6. Chapter 6

_MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU_

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: A nice long one for you :)_

* * *

CHAPTER 6

Fight the Fight

They moved with the skill of countless trained hours. Hands that were no longer dainty and unblemished, because their job was often arduous and rough. They worked as they carried out physician's orders, pages of already made decisions based on minute by minute expectations and more than often disruptions in the process of healing.

Most patients in the Burn Trauma Unit teetered on that edge of possibly never seeing their families again and her own experience with that fight was what led her to where she stood now. It had been a life changing event, in many many ways. More than once she had been told to not look back, you can't change the past, move on with life, and she had. For the most part. Memories of her mother she held close to her heart and had sworn to never let those go.

"Focus Iz," she reminded herself softly as she listened to his lungs and heart once again.

Her patient remained unwillingly silent, but her experience had taught her to listen to everything but their voice. It was quite amazing what an unconscious patient could share with you when you opened your senses. Each hour contained a new assessment and a new insight into how Mr. Michael Stoker was doing. Blood pressure, heart rate and rhythm, lung sounds, pupil reaction, temperature, moistness of the skin, reflexes, kidney function. Her documentation was precise, but her touch was full of caring and compassion.

Her shift was from three to eleven at night tonight, not normal hours for her and for the first time she was grateful that it had happened this way. Some would call it dumb luck, others fate. For Izzy, she wasn't exactly sure, but she knew she wasn't ready to put any label on it just yet.

"You have a lot of friends here waiting for you to get better Michael." She said with a soft voice as she infused another medicine into his IV.

"And your parents will be here soon." She then pulled the sheet up his bare chest just a bit more.

She shook her head. "I'm still in a bit of shock over what happened you know." She tilted her head a bit. "I know that's normal everyday stuff for you and your friends, but I'm still the little kid on the sidewalk who stands in awe of you driving by."

Her hand closed around his. "I may not know anything about being a fireman, but I do know that you're supposed to make it through this night. I can't explain it, none of it really. But something tells me you are meant to keep going."

Her thoughts then went to the blue eyed medic and his words before he left about not giving up on him. She shook her head.

"Never," she whispered to him.

The evening ticked by, one hour at a time with each hour being golden that he was holding on. Dr. Brackett had come by to check on him, also Joe Early who was following his head injury. When she took a break she would peek into the waiting room and there was often someone there waiting, usually the pair of medics, apparently between calls.

No one came back to his room and those hours became precious to her as she continued her conversation with this man who couldn't answer back.

Her brow creased as she listened to his heart, her eyes then taking in his color and the very concerning empty urine bag that hung by his bed. Writing down some notes she returned to the main desk outside his door and picked up the phone.

"Yes sir, I'm sure. Thank you."

She hung up the phone and with her heart beating just a little bit faster she returned to his room. It was now ten in the evening and the early signs of renal failure were rearing their ugly head.

* * *

"What do you think Kel?" Joe asked as they stood by his bed.

Kel shook his head. "I don't like it Joe, not one bit. If his kidneys don't start showing some function he's not going to make it much longer. I've kept up with his volume loss, his blood pressure has been stable, but he's now starting to show some arrhythmias."

The men discussed some changes in medications and fluid balances. Kel handed the new order sheet to Izzy and she reviewed them, to make sure she understood what they wanted done. With a nod of her head she went to get the new drugs and IV fluids.

By the time she had everything organized and started a fresh body showed up beside her.

"Heya Izzy!" The bouncy, young, blonde nurse greeted her.

Izzy took a deep breath. "Hi Sue. Is it that time already?"

Sue pulled up a chair beside her and giggled. "Oh yea, time flies when you're having fun, right?" She looked over to the newest patient on the unit.

"Another fireman huh? Geeze, when will these guys learn to not do stupid stuff?"

Izzy bristled under her scrubs, her teeth clenched tight and her eyes narrowed. "This is not just another fireman. None of them are." She quickly corrected herself; her voice was sharp with the younger nurse. "This is Mr. Michael Stoker and I expect you to address him as such."

The junior nurse was taken aback. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

Izzy took a deep breath. Sue was new to this unit, but she had good instincts and was doing really well. Her shoulders visibly relaxed a bit. "It's okay Sue, I'm just tired. But he is a special guy okay?"

Sue nodded.

"I've written out his detailed care plan. Here are his meds and fluids, and these are his new orders."

They reviewed all the details together.

"I'm back later in the morning so take good care of him for me okay?" She said with a tender smile.

Sue's eyes looked sad and Izzy quickly picked up on it. "What's wrong?"

"Izzy, he's really critical, I don't know that he can make it through the night. You know that right?" Sue was worried even though she knew that Izzy of all nurses would understand the level of danger the man was in.

Izzy looked down to the floor. How could she explain this? "I know Sue. I know exactly how critical he is. I'm just asking you to go beyond for him tonight. In fact, call me if things get bad. I have one last trick up my sleeve for him."

Sue pushed her brow together and tilted her head. Then her eyes widened. "Oh, no you don't Izzy."

"Shhhh," Izzy gestured with her finger. "It would only be as a last resort."

"Brackett will have your head and mine!"

Izzy smiled. "His bark is worst than his bite. Don't worry. I hope it doesn't come to that anyway."

Sue shook her head, wanting nothing to do with the scheme.

"Trust me Sue, it will be okay. Just keep him going tonight."

With a sigh she nodded her head. "I'll do my best."

She walked over to his bed and with anxiety in her heart she leaned in close and whispered to him.

"Michael, I have to go now, but I'll be back soon. Sue will take good care of you." She paused. "Please don't give up."

* * *

The drive home was quiet; she didn't even turn the radio on. Her brain just couldn't focus on music and every detail of the last twelve hours at the same time. Scene after scene replayed in her mind and when the truck horn blasted at her she realized she was crossing the center line.

Her heart nearly stopped beating and she pulled over to the side of the road, leaned on the steering wheel and began to cry. After a few minutes she pulled herself together and finished the trip home. A hot shower seemed to wash some of the stress away and when she crawled into bed sleep quickly found her.

* * *

Slapping her alarm clock didn't stop the ringing and forced her to bring herself to consciousness against her will. It was then she realized it wasn't the clock, but her phone.

"Hello?" She said sleepily

"Izzy, oh, I'm so sorry to call you this early."

She was awake now and looked at the clock. It was almost eight am. "Sue, what's wrong."

"It's Mr. Stoker."

Her heart sank. "When?" Was all she could say as her heart got caught in her throat.

"No Izzy, he's not gone yet, but it will be soon. Dr. Brackett just told his parents there was nothing more that could be done." The young woman was near tears.

"Okay Sue, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Her first stop was bathroom and shower, followed by some orange juice and a quick piece of toast with peanut butter. With toast in one hand she started digging through one of the cardboard boxes that was full of random paperwork. She knew what she was looking for and when it was in her hand she was ready to go.

Once again the ride was quiet and she used the time to figure out how she was going to make this happen.

Getting off the elevator she cursed under her breath as she realized that she had left her ID badge, with the employee door unlock, at home. She would have to go in the main way, through the waiting room. What she found when she rounded the corner astounded her.

The small area was packed full and she quickly recognized some of the faces. When she moved into view several of them stopped to looked at her. Suddenly she was awkwardly aware that she was dressed in jeans, a stripped t-shirt, her hair hanging down and slightly possessed, but most of all, in her red cowboy boots. Not necessarily the image she tried to project when at this work.

Hank saw her immediately knowing he would never forget her image. "What is she doing here?" He asked Roy who was standing next to him.

"She works here," he said then began to work his way through the group of shift mates, past the Chief and other firemen who had come for support.

Their faces were drawn and revealed great sadness. They were now in regular clothes apparently off duty this morning and she quickly absorbed the simple fact that they were here with Michael instead of home. There was an older couple that stood with the Captain, she assumed his parents as the woman was crying softly into her husband's arms.

She also recognized the medics and saw the older one looked at her with an almost pleading in his eyes as he moved towards her. She wanted to dart through the double doors knowing that he had entrusted his friend to her and she had let him down. What could she possibly say that would make it better?

"Did they call you back in?" He asked with a lifeless voice.

She nodded. "I asked them to let me know if ..." Her voice choked a bit.

"Dr. Brackett just updated us. Mike's just getting worse at this point."

"I came in to help, if I can."

This time he simply nodded and let her pass.

Once inside she got a run down from Sue on his current status. With that information she picked up the phone and called the only person that could put her plan into action.

They sat in the small office behind the unit's nursing station. She had intentionally not sat behind the desk, but instead leaned against it while he claimed the chair. Inwardly she groaned, he didn't look happy at all.

"Of all people you know how I feel about this," Brackett's voice was tired and obviously impatient with her.

"Yes I do," she said holding her ground and the paper in her hand. "And of all people in that room you're the only one that can make it happen."

He shook his head. "But of all the people in that room you know that I was one of the no votes."

Now she was mad. They had been arguing for almost twenty minutes about a man who didn't have any minutes to spare anymore. She began to pace in the tiny space. "I was told to do the research and I have. This is everything there is to know. I gave it to you and had hoped you would have an open mind about it."

This time it was his turn to get upset. "Look. We reviewed the literature and the protocol is too dangerous. I know this unit is your passion and that's why I recommended you to the Trauma Burn Committee." He shook his head. "Starting Mike Stoker on an unproven research protocol isn't the answer Izzy."

She sat down beside him again. "Dr. Brackett. I've done the research. Not only is the protocol the best I've seen, but the recent outcomes have been promising and he _is_ the perfect candidate for this. His kidneys have shut down and his heart is becoming toxic."

"The potential danger of this is too great."

Her eyes locked on his. "You've told his family there is nothing more that can be done. What could be more dangerous than that?"

She slid the stack of documents across the table. "I think he deserves this last chance."

Brackett eyed her closely and took a deep breath. Reaching across the table he pulled the papers closer to him. "Give me one hour."

A restrained smile broke out across her face, making her eyes sparkle. "Thirty minutes."

He laughed. "I knew it was a mistake to put you on the committee, nothing but headaches for me."

She got more serious again. "Headaches for us, but a second chance for Michael."

He nodded, stood up and went to the door. "I'll let you know."

* * *

Many would say that dealing with a noncommunicative patient is a piece of cake compared to the family that comes with them. Being sick enough for intensive care brings forth intense emotions for everyone involved and it was a part of nursing that Izzy excelled at. She never understood the territorial stance that many nurses took over their patients and their environment. Yes, there were rules, which she enforced, most of the time. However, she understood the critical role that family and friends took in the healing process.

Once again she was in uniform and now sat beside Brackett in the waiting room. Mr. and Mrs. Stoker huddled in front of them while the others stood at their back in support.

He held a consent form in his hand. "This protocol is based on research concerning a new combination of drugs that are designed to enhance renal, or kidney, function while protecting the heart. He doesn't technically meet the criteria for the protocol because of his low blood pressure now and the potential side effects can be more dangerous that the drugs themselves."

Mrs. Stoker spoke first. "You said there was nothing more you could do."

Looking at the shocked and perplexed faces before him he took a deep breath. "That's still the truth. We have done all that we can, with conventional medicine. This is stepping outside that and trying something that is still in the experimental research phase. And there's no promise that it will work."

"If you don't do it, what then doc?" Johnny asked.

"His vital signs are failing, his kidneys have stopped working. He won't be able to survive much longer."

"And if we do this?" Mr. Stoker asked next, his arm around his wife.

"Possibly nothing, he could possibly get better, or the side effects could hasten his death."

The collective silence was heavy.

Mrs. Stoker looked at the doctor with tear filled eyes. "Michael never gave up on anything in his life. I don't think we should give up on him now." Then she turned to Izzy. "What do you think dear?"

That caught her off guard and apparently everyone else also as she watched all eyes dart to her, especially the eyes of his co-workers which were still in shock over her connection as his nurse. She cleared her throat before speaking.

"Without this he won't be able to fight much longer. I can't say this is the answer, but I think, at this point, that it's important to give him every chance possible." She looked into the eyes of the couple. "What do you think Michael would choose?"

Mrs. Stoker smiled gently. "He would say go for it."

Izzy looked up to see Roy giving her a reassuring smile as Mikes father took the pen and signed the form before looking back up. His eyes begged of them.

_Save our son._

Izzy already knew the steps to the protocol. It was precise and calculated down the moment of each hour and which interventions would be implemented where. After reviewing the potential side effects so she would know what to watch for she began the medications.

Joe and Kel stood at the foot of his bed whispering in discussion over what to expect next. She nodded to Kel, a silent thanks for not only giving the treatment the go ahead, but for not adding 'if' to any possible outcomes he might face. She understood the repercussions if Michael died following this, because the question would always linger, did this make it worse.

Fifteen minutes into the medications all signs were stable, not improved, but also not declining. She held close to the hope that each minute was a good sign.

"We'll be at the desk if you need us," they told her as they moved out of the room.

"Izzy, this is crazy. Why are you doing this?" Danielle asked. She was another day shift nurse there to help her since he had been upgraded to 2:1 ratio due to the protocol.

"It's not crazy, besides Brackett is familiar with the protocol too. It's just not tried and true so that makes folks antsy." She looked at the clock again. "Can you draw his next labs, there due in five minutes?"

"Sure. How's your dad doing?"

Izzy smiled. "Oh he's fine, cranky as ever. You need to come down and see us again."

"Oh I will. I have a hot date this weekend and plan on steering him in that direction." She laughed. "Will you be there?"

She nodded. "Yea, I should be there. I missed last night and dad wasn't happy."

"I bet he wasn't. He's lost without you there."

Izzy knew the conversation was casual, but she just didn't realize how challenging it was to live in the two different worlds. She loved both of them so much even though it often made her feel like a split personality.

"I'm going to run this out to the desk, be right back," Danielle said holding the two tubes of blood in her hand.

"Okay, thanks."

The first hour was uneventful and deep down she began to wonder if he would respond at all. Pressing the button for the EKG print out she reviewed the rhythm strip and felt hope leap into her throat. The arrhythmias of his heart were gone. She had to resist leaning down and hugging him.

When his hand moved beside her she almost jumped out of her skin in the quiet room. The twitch was immediately followed by a full seizure. She quickly put the padded tongue depressor into this mouth to keep him from biting his tongue as his body thrashed in the bed. Next she hit the nurse alert button and instantly had a room full of help as she held his arm down with her full body weight in an attempt to protect his IV site.

Brackett ordered Diazepam stat and as soon as the medication was dispersed into his veins the seizure weakened, then stopped. Izzy quickly obtained vital signs and passed them to Joe and Kel.

Kel looked at her shaking his head. Her heart sank. "I'm going to talk to his parents."

"Seizure is a possible reaction, we know that," she said quickly to try and stop what he was about to do.

He didn't answer but simply left the room. Izzy looked down at Mike and struggled to fight back the tears. She wasn't ready to just give up.

After about thirty minutes Kel returned with Mike's parents. She was crying and looked completely exhausted as he held her close in a protective manner. Brackett picked up the chart and began writing new orders. Izzy felt like she needed to say something, to do something, anything.

"Dr. Brackett," she said softly.

When he turned to her there was resignation in his expression as he saw her water filled eyes.

"We've talked it over and they understand that he failed the protocol."

She shook her head almost frantically as she turned back to the couple. It wasn't right for her to beg them to keep going just for her. She had no say in this, what happened to their son. Just about the time she was going to say something Mrs. Stoker asked a question.

"Dear, what does this do?" Her voice was calm now, almost at peace.

Instantly the anxiety in Izzy calmed as she moved to her side. "That's the special IV catheter where he is getting his fluids and medications."

"Does it hurt him?"

Izzy smiled softly at the mother. "Not at all. It actually helps us to stick him less for IV's. This," she pointed to an IV pump, "is pain medication that he receives continuously, so he doesn't hurt any through all this."

That seemed to help her relax a bit, but her eyes continued to scan her son and the equipment around him. "This red stuff?"

"He's getting some blood right now. The red blood cells help to carry oxygen to his tissues and help in his recovery."

The older lady smiled now. "I see."

Izzy liked her immediately. "This is his heart rate and blood pressure right here," she pointed to the monitor.

"Are they good?"

She studied them for a moment. Actually they were good. "Yes ma'me, they are good."

Mrs. Stoker watched the red headed nurse closely. "Were you with him when he had the seizure?"

Izzy wasn't sure where this was leading, but she was always honest with family members. "Yes Mrs. Stoker I was."

"What do you think?"

She chose to not look back towards Brackett. "The protocol medications have a lot of possible side effects that we have to monitor him closely for."

"And the seizure was one of the yes?"

"Yes, it was."

"You know we want Michael to come back to us with all our hearts. It's so hard to know what's right and what's not."

Her heart went out to the parents. "My mom always said Love believes all things, hopes all things."

The older lady nodded, "Yes, first Corinthians."

A single tear went down Izzy's cheek. "Don't give up on him."

Brackett stepped beside Izzy now. "We will stop the protocol and do everything we can for him."

With heavy hearts the parents returned to the waiting room then Brackett left the unit. Izzy stood before the IV pumps and stared at the numbers.

"You know what the orders are, right Izzy?" Danielle said with reservation.

"Yes, I know. But he didn't give him a chance, he just needs more time."

"It's not our decision."

She took a deep breath and completed her assessment on him as she watched the other nurse pull down the IV.

"Stop!" Izzy yelled causing the nurse to almost drop the fluids on the floor.

"Izzy, you can't just do what you want to do!" she yelped, until she looked up and saw her expression. "What's wrong?"

Izzy pointed down. When Danielle came around to her side of the bed to see what she was pointing at she gasped and ran to get the doctors.

It was common knowledge in the land of medicine that what excited and thrilled the medical team often was simply repulsive to the layman.

But Izzy not only grinned, she laughed out loud at the beautiful yellow fluid that flowed into the urine bag.

* * *

"I'll be damned," Kel said, standing by the bed.

Izzy was good and stayed quiet though he knew she wanted to shout it to the streets.

"Excellent call Ms. Newman. Thanks to your hard headedness our patient seems to be responding."

"Just doing my job Dr. Brackett." Then she leaned in closer to him. "Thank you."

He smiled back. "You're very welcome."

* * *

It had been a long day as Johnny and Roy sat at the café patio for some coffee. Dinner was quickly approaching and after hours of vigil over Mike they had finally gotten the news they desperately needed to hear. Even Brackett called it amazing, but they didn't care what it was called. Their friend had officially survived the first twenty four hours and was finally showing not only signs of being stable, but some improvement too.

Hank was taking Mikes parents to his house for dinner and some rest while the others headed home for some of the same.

"Do you think it was that crazy protocol that did it?" Johnny asked.

Roy shrugged. "They had done a lot before, maybe that just made the difference they needed."

"Hey fellas."

They turned to see Dixie heading towards them with a large brown paper bag.

"Can you give these to Mikes parents? It's his things he came in with."

"Sure Dix, thanks," Johnny said as he set the bag down beside him. "Did you hear? He's responding to the protocol."

Dixie smiled at his excitement. "Sure did. So glad to hear it too. Guess it was a good think Kel was convinced."

Roy looked confused. "Convinced?"

"Yea, that protocol was killed in committee six months ago. Kel was a major voice against it."

Johnny scoffed. "What changed his mind?"

She sipped her coffee. "Not what, but who."

Johnny looked confused, but Roy smirked. "Might this who have red hair?"

Dixie laughed. "Very much so. Do you know Izzy?"

He shook his head. "No, we just met yesterday. She seems to be," he paused, "a special person."

Dixie nodded. "I haven't worked with her since she went to work in the burn unit, but yea, she's hell on wheels when she gets an idea in her head." She stood up. "Well, back to work for me fella's, see ya later."

Once in the parking lot they separated and headed to their respective vehicles. Roy weaved through the lot and casually noted the other people in the lot doing the same thing, each in their own little worlds.

Until one caught his eye.

A smile came to his face as he watched the bouncy, energetic young nurse as she seemed to literally dance between the cars, her face with a glowing smile and her eyes sparkling in the sun.

She radiated joy.


	7. Chapter 7

_MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU_

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever. ~Author Unknown

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

* * *

CHAPTER 7

Secrets

_Whoever said the mind was a tricky instrument should have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize_, Izzy thought to herself. Multitasking she had down to a fine art after years of working two jobs, but the last two days she had struggled to keep her mind focused on what needed to be done at the club.

"Spill it," her dad said as he entered the office and turned a chair backwards, straddling it to lean on the back.

She looked up from the strew of paperwork that surrounded her on the desk.

"What?"

"You've always been terrible at keeping your worries inside Isabelle and right now you're overflowing with concern. What's going on?"

Taking a deep breath she rocked back in the old wooden chair. They were close, always had been and she knew he could read her like a book.

"Just work, nothing major," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Yea, try again."

She frowned at him. Dang him for being so intuitive when it came to her. "It's just been busy at the hospital and then all the issues here. It gets overwhelming sometimes."

He leaned forward and looked at her with concern. "I know it does honey, but you do an amazing job at everything you do. Look at you, finally get two days off work and you're here nonstop. Finish up the payroll, the rest can wait. Go home and work on unpacking some." He smiled. "I know living out of boxes is driving you crazy."

She laughed. Yes, actually it was even though that wasn't what was distracting her so much these days. "Okay, thanks. Think I might take you up on that."

Standing up he pushed the chair back against the wall. "Good. Let me know when you're leaving."

"Okay, sure will. I'm almost done here."

With the room empty again she attempted to refocus her mind on the task at hand. Paying the bills, ordering supplies, completing the employee work schedule, confirming future singers and bands, and doing work disputes had never really bothered her before. They didn't now either.

She just kept thinking of him.

Being worried about how he was doing in her absence was ever present for her. Were they following her care plans? Did the fever resolve that he had developed? And worst of all….would he wake up before she returned.

It was selfish, she knew it. Every drop of progress for him was critical and she wouldn't deny him any of it just because she couldn't work twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. But deep down she wanted to be there when he woke up. She had watched those dark brown eyes close in pain and death and couldn't help the fact that she wanted to be the one that watched them open up again.

Her pen worked furiously as it finished up checks and like she had been cooking all day in the kitchen for a hungry crew they began showing up at her door.

"Iz?"

She looked up to see Jake there. "Hey Jake, come on in, almost finished."

He plopped down in the chair. "Good, I gotta get to the bank before it closes today."

She couldn't help but chuckle. Jake had worked with the family here for years and was as much a part of the place as the classic bar stools that lined the bar. Being an only child she had always looked up to him like a big brother of sorts even though their past had been a bit rocky.

Pulling out the check she passed it over to him.

"Thanks Iz." He watched her closely. "You okay?"

Yep, she had to finish up and get out of here soon before the questions became more specific. "I'm fine, thanks Jake."

"Well, ya know you can talk to me if you need too," he said as he headed to the door. "Anytime."

"Yea, I know thanks. I'm good." She put on her relaxed smile.

Alone again she shook her head. What was Michael doing to her? No, this wasn't his fault. None of it was and she knew that. He didn't even know she existed and that flash of their eyes meeting before he was struck, well, she knew he wouldn't have any memory of that by the time he woke up. Somehow it made her heart ache to think she would just be another one of his nurses soon and nothing more.

"You know, it's easier to do that when the pen is on the paper and not in your mouth?"

Her head jerked over to the door, startled.

"Geez, Marty, you trying to give me a heart attack here?" Embarrassed to be caught in her reverie she quickly finished up his check. "Sorry, here."

"No problem Izzy. Work through some of that tonight," he said with a smile.

She laughed, "Sounds good. You bringing the band?" Marty was their general purpose music man. He could play guitar, piano, bass and work the sound system for the stage.

"Only if you bring Bessie," he said slyly.

With a scoff she passed him the check. "And here I though you loved me."

He leaned against the door frame. "Baby, put you and Bessie together and you melt my heart."

Now she laughed out loud. "Leave before I start drowning in the BS you're shoveling out."

Returning the laugh he quickly turned on his heels and left her to be alone again. This time she got busy and finished up what needed to be done. She was itching to get to her apartment now and make a phone call.

With that thought she laid her head down on the desk, tapping the wood over and over groaning to herself.

* * *

"Any news when you guys picked up supplies?" Hank asked as he stuck his head in the kitchen.

Roy shook his head. "No. His parents had left to get breakfast and there was no one around to get an update from."

"No news is good news they say," Marco said.

"Absolutely pally," Hank added to that.

"When will they let him wake up Roy?" Parker asked. He was the new guy scheduled to cover for Mike during his absence.

"Not sure. We'll try and find out more today when we get back over there."

_STATION 51, CHILD TRAPPED, MACKEY FAIRGROUNDS…_

Johnny put on his helmet and took the address sheet from Roy. They both knew this run could be tricky seeing how the fairgrounds were often occupied by some very run down companies.

Pulling into the gravel parking lot Roy parked the squad right near the front gate and watched the engine pull in behind him. Standing at the gate was a man in his early 60's waving his arms.

"Thanks fella's for coming so quick."

They pulled out boxes as Hank and the crew moved up behind them.

"Where is he?" Johnny asked.

"This way," the man said as he let them in through a side entrance, avoiding the line at the front gate.

The place was surprisingly crowded for this time of the early afternoon, but then school was out for a teacher's holiday and of course the kids would beg to come. Roy knew exactly what that entailed as he had already heard all the rational arguments from Jenny and Chris before coming to work.

He continued talking as they worked their way through the tight walking paths, weaving between food booths and lines for various rides. The Ferris wheel was in full swing as the screams sounded from the Tilt O Whirl and Death Plunge. Roy shook his head as he could see Johnny's eyes light up like his kids.

Deep inside the grounds the man finally came to a stop and moved under a tent tie down rope and to the back of the attraction. This led them to the back of a large plywood appearing building, painted green with wild jungle calls crackling from an ancient speaker system. An almost invisible door allowed them inside to the dark interior and everyone had to pause for a second to let their eyes adjust to the lighting change.

The lion roars, elephants trumpeting, macaws screaming and monkey screeching was nearly deafening. However, all that was better than the musty, dank, stale smell that attacked their nostrils.

"He's over here," the man yelled above the background noises.

Hank could see where there was a small track on the ground that held rickety cars of riders as they coursed through the attraction, jungle themed style. The amount of visibly broken parts and duct tape repaired structures was enough to make any sane person cringe.

When they stopped again the area was bathed in florescent black lights and the walls were lined with tall jungle trees of plywood with barely functioning animatronics of animals that were nearly bald of fur from age.

Roy nearly ran into the back of the man and followed his arm as he pointed up.

"What the ….?" Hank exclaimed as they took in the sight before them.

The structure was formed of mesh wire wrapped around two by fours then plastered to look like trees. Up in the tree sat a much larger than life lion and inside the lions mouth all they could see was a pair of legs hanging out.

"Where's his mother?" Roy asked quickly knowing with a quick assessment he was young.

"Their overhead paging her now."

Johnny was plotting how best to get up to him. He moved forward and leaned heavily on a lower branch, only to feel it bend and give under him.

"This isn't going to hold us," he said as he turned to Hank.

"Lopez, get a ladder, Kelly grab the stokes and some extra rope pally."

"He looks to be about 8 or 9 I think," Roy thought aloud. "Son, can you hear us?" He yelled up to the legs, but got no response back.

"Look, if you can hear us, move your feet," Johnny yelled next.

Slowly the feet moved some, though not very energetically at all. At least now they knew he was still alive in there. Within moments Marco and Chet returned with added supplies and the plan to get the boy down ensued.

When they all had to jump out of the way for a traveling car to come through, complete with thrill seekers Hank immediately turned to their guide.

"You're going to need to shut this ride down and give us some lights. And for heaven's sake, turn off that music," he directed the man.

Chet held the ladder as Johnny went up about fifteen feet to where the legs could be seen. The ladder though was enough to reach just under him, but no further.

The child was apparently wearing shorts and Johnny's first touch revealed he was warm and an ankle pulse was found to be fast and weak.

"What's your name?" He called out. "I'm Johnny."

The voice was weak and shaky. "Bobby."

Johnny smiled. At least the boy was talking to them. "How old are you Bobby?"

"Eight."

"Okay, well Bobby. I'm right here behind you with a ladder and all I need you to do is back out for me. Okay?"

The small voice whimpered and cried. "I can't."

Johnny kept his voice light and confident. "Sure you can, you won't fall. I promise."

"No, he bit me, I can't."

His look down to Roy was met with the same instant confusion and hesitation of concern. "What do you mean he bit you?"

Now the cries were stronger. "My legs, it hurts."

At that same moment the general lights came on and their instant visualization sent waves of shock through them. It looked like a scene from wild animal kingdom as the blood ran down the lion's mouth, neck, and legs.

Johnny quickly looked under the boys legs and could now see they were lying on top of ragged teeth made of nails with plaster over them to look like teeth. They were piercing both of his thighs with at least four in each leg.

"Roy, I think," he kept feeling along the teeth and their contact with the child. "I think the only way to get him out of here is to lift him straight up then out." He now looked down to them. "I can't get enough leverage to do that from here, at least not without dragging the rest of him across them. Plus I can't tell if he's hung up on anything else in there."

Hank looked straight up and assessed the poles above their heads. His concern was that nothing of the structure would be stable enough to hold much weight. Marco had moved behind the ladder, past the fake tree to see what it looked like from behind.

"Hey Cap, it looks like that lion is in parts up there."

Hank leaned beside him. "You're right pally." He yelled up the ladder, "What if we can disconnect the head and lower them down together?"

Johnny nodded. "That might work Cap. I can support his legs on the way down."

Parker and Marco secured the ropes across an overhead support beam then Johnny worked it inside the lion's mouth. On the other side Marco scaled a built in ladder on the wall and worked on unbolting the head from the torso.

When the mouth moved the little boy cried out in pain and Johnny kept talking to him calmly and with reassurance.

"Hold on, we'll have you down here soon. What made you decide to climb into his mouth in the first place?"

"I can't tell," the little scared voice replied.

Johnny was trying to keep him distracted. "Why not?"

The voice got smaller. "It's a secret."

"Oh, a secret huh. Must be a pretty big one to get you up here."

"Yea," he whispered.

"I'm ready," Marco called out.

"Ready here Cap," Johnny answered down to them.

Parker, Hank and Roy kept tension on the rope as Marco released the last bolt causing the head to separate and lean downwards. Johnny moved down the ladder as he held the legs to keep them from swinging and guided the duo towards the ground.

With great gentleness the lion touched down and Roy let go of the rope to move to where the boy's upper torso could be seen.

He smiled warmly at the tear filled eyes. "You're going to be okay. We've got you back down and soon will have you out of here."

"Johnny, I'll lift from here. Cap, if you and Chet can help as he comes in that direction."

The men moved into position and with one up motion the boy was pulled up from the teeth as he yelled and struggled against them.

"Hey now," Johnny said as they backed him out of the mouth. "We've got you, hold on."

Within seconds he was free and lying on the ground to be assessed. His mother came running up behind them accompanied by another fair employee and began sobbing while yelling at the same time. Hank quickly pulled her to the side as Roy had her sign the waiver for treatment.

"Yes, do anything you need to," she cried.

"He's going to be okay, just relax for me," Roy tried to reassure her.

Roy first cleaned up the wounds and put dressings on them to slow the bleeding down. Next, he gathered vital signs while Johnny contacted Rampart and relayed information.

Once the IV was started they loaded him into the stokes and as the mother followed they worked their way back through the grounds and to the exit gate where the ambulance waited for them. Johnny climbed in and took the boxes while Roy prepared to follow in the squad.

The mothers car followed behind the squad as they headed to Rampart Hospital. Johnny saw the boy was watching everything he did.

"Feeling better now?" He asked him.

He nodded back.

"See, told ya so. And the doctor and nurses will help you feel even better so you can go back home soon."

"They won't like me," he said softly.

Johnny creased his brow. "Now, what makes you say that?"

"Bart said if I didn't do the dare..." He got quiet.

It was starting to make sense now. "Is that the secret? Bart dared you to climb up there?"

The boy nodded again. "I didn't get the stone so I messed everything up."

"What kinda stone?"

"A red one, it's Bart's he uses it for club initiation."

"Oh, I see. We'll maybe I can see if that stone is still there for you?"

He looked worried. "Oh, that would make Bart mad."

"Tell ya what," he said rubbing his chin in thought. "What if it was our little secret?"

The blue eyes lit up. "Really?"

Johnny nodded, "Yep, really."

* * *

"Into the heart of lion country I hear," Dixie teased as they wheeled the boy into the treatment room.

Johnny shook his head. "I'm telling ya Dix, what kids can get into still amazes me."

She laughed. "You just wait until you have kids of your own."

Johnny paled and found himself speechless. With his propensity for trouble what chance did his kids have?

"Oh Johnny, don't take it so seriously. It comes with the territory of parenthood. Your kids get into messes and not matter what, you just stand by them and help when you can."

He nodded as he backed out of the room, and straight into Roy.

"What's wrong?" Roy was instantly worried about the child with the way Johnny looked.

"I'll be here all the time," he muttered to himself.

"Did something happen to the kid?" He tried to help his younger partner refocus.

Johnny looked up. "Oh, him, uh no, they said he'd be fine."

Patience, Roy told himself, and waited.

"Roy, my kids are going to be here all the time aren't they?" Johnny looked mildly panic stricken.

He tried to not laugh. "Well, if they take after you …." He said and walked off.

Johnny ran to catch up at the elevator. "Now, what's that supposed to mean?"

Roy internally kicked himself for saying anything that would keep this conversation going. "Look, all I mean is that well, you're kinda accident prone and well, kids tend to take after their parents."

No Johnny looked indignant. "I'm not accident prone."

When the elevator opened he was so busy arguing with Roy that he didn't see the orderly with the empty stretcher and stepped right into his path, getting nearly run over as the man tried to exit the elevator. In his dodge to regain his footing he nearly knocked over the tall plant in the corner. With a quick recovery and step onto the elevator he chose to pretend nothing happened.

"Don't say anything," he threatened Roy.

"Wouldn't dream of his Junior," Roy replied with a big smile on his face.

Once they reached the ICU waiting room they immediately found Mikes parents.

"Hello boys, how is your day going?" Mrs. Stoker.

"Good, thanks," Roy replied. "Any news on Mike?" They were all so anxious for every bit of good news these days.

She smiled. "Yes, he's had a good day today. That nasty fever that came on him is now gone and Nurse Sue said his color looks perfect."

Johnny smiled back at her. "That's great Mrs. Stoker."

"Any word on when they will let him wake up?" Roy knew this was a big issue for Mike after such a traumatic injury and needing CPR. They were all very anxious to know if he was still the same Mike they remembered.

"Not yet," Mr. Stoker spoke up. "It's time though. Time to let my boy know what's going on."

"Izzy says it's about time too," she added.

Roy smiled. It was easy to see how much she liked the fiery red headed nurse. "I thought she was off until Monday."

Mrs. Stoker patted his hand. "Oh she is, but she's called every shift to check on him." She laughed. "It's driving the other nurses rather crazy."

"I bet they understand," he said back to her.

She winked at him. "I think so too."

* * *

Johnny pressed the down button in the elevator. "I bet I could distract her from work for a while," he said nonchalantly.

Roy rolled his eyes. "What makes you think she wants to be distracted?"

Johnny looked quickly to him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

They stepped off the elevator, back into the ER hallway and headed to the squad. Roy chose to stay quiet for as long as possible.

Once they pulled out into the road Johnny asked again. "You don't think I should ask her out?" He looked out the window. "I mean she's hot Roy."

It was obvious that only he had recognized the looks she had given Mike, well, maybe with the exception of Mrs. Stoker. "Ask her out. Doesn't matter to me."

Johnny nodded his head and double tapped his hands on the dashboard. "I think I'll just do that next time I see her."

The ride was quiet for a bit when Johnny suddenly turned to Roy. "Wait, we need to make a quick stop."

* * *

Her daily run allowed her to clear some of the confusion from her head before going inside for the day. Hours passed as she organized her kitchen and personalized her small space with some pictures hung up and clutter put away. She had just moved her less than a month ago and never seemed to have the time needed to get it set up like she wanted.

Looking around she sipped on some soup as her feet propped up on the coffee table. There was no TV yet. She really didn't care much about it since she was never home long enough to grow attached to any shows. So hooking up cable was on the back burner for now.

However, the phone was hooked up and she stared at it like it was going to get up and walk away. It took all her will power to not snatch it up and make the call. What the hell was wrong with her? Was she just a glutton for punishment? Releasing a deep breath she put her dishes away and went to the bedroom for a shower and nap.

After the nap, she promised herself. After.

* * *

Her alarm went off and she groggily rolled over to slam her hand on it.

5:00. It blared at her a country song that she kept her eyes closed and listened too until it was over. She knew she had to get up. Nights off at the hospital were always spent at the club helping her dad and even though it was sometimes hard to juggle both, she loved that place with all her heart.

She pulled on the denim skirt and long sleeved white blouse then fought with her hair for a bit before finishing off with her boots. There was only one more thing to do before picking up Bessie and heading out, so she grabbed the phone.

"Burn ICU, Sue Lane speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hi Sue," she said, inwardly cringing knowing they were rolling their eyes at her.

"Good evening Izzy. His blood pressure is 120/75, Pulse 84, Temperature 97.8. His PM electrolytes were all normal; he tolerated the daily debridement and burn care well and is down another 15% on his Morphine drip."

Izzy giggled with delight. "Thanks Sue," she found herself whispering.

Sue whispered back, "You're welcome, now you and Bessie go rock the town tonight!"

"Okay, see you tomorrow."


	8. Chapter 8

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

Nurses dispense comfort, compassion, and caring without even a prescription. ~Val Saintsbury

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

* * *

CHAPTER 8

GOODBYES

Assimilating sounds and feelings came on slowly. It's not like in the movies where you suddenly awake and carry on a conversation. It wasn't even possible to find the energy needed to open his eyes. He only knew that noises were present and nearly overwhelming to his senses. It took effort to discern each one, separating it from the jumble of the mix and allowing it to identify itself.

One noise was rhythmic; a steady beeping that he came to realize matched the pounding heartbeat in his head. A heart monitor, yes, he remembered hearing that before. For a moment he simply felt the beat and regularity of it, allowing it to offer him comfort.

The next sensation was discomfort. There was nothing sharp or burning, but more like an aching all over his body. The awareness of no movement and a yearning mental need to stretch and turn, to shift from one side to the other was present and in a uncooperative body. Knowing he couldn't even begin to make that possible only seemed to accentuate the need for it more.

A new sound entered his mysterious world. Someone seemed to be moving about the room, the rubber soles at times squeaking on the floor, making their direction almost visual in his chaotic mind. Even still he wasn't sure where he was or why he was trapped in this dark place of strange sounds.

Then hands were touching him. They were cool and even though he wasn't sure if his skin shivered, his mind did at the sensation. The next feeling was heightened by the quiet and his unpreparedness, pain. At first it was more of the surprise than actual pain, but then it began to escalate in intensity and fear threatened to take over knowing he had no control in what would happen to him.

His side was being pulled on. He didn't know how or why it should burn and hurt so much, but it did. The beeping quickened though he couldn't focus on that. His mind was wrapped around the sensations that assaulted him.

Then it stopped.

Another sound came to him. A voice. Though muffled and not clear, he could hear it, soft and gentle. His pain eased and his mind began to relax until the touching started again and his anxiety skyrocketed in his own private hell.

Once again it stopped and the voice changed. Melodic and soothing it was soft, lyrical as if an angel was whispering into his ear. The words weren't discernible, but he understood it now.

Someone was singing.

The sound wrapped around him and offered comfort as the action at his side continued. The discomfort was there, but it was different now and the beat of his heart remained steady with little rise. At some point he heard and felt no more, drifting back into the darkness.

* * *

"Talk to him Mrs. Stoker. It's important for him to hear your voices so he knows we're waiting on him to wake up."

Her encouragements were gentle and the couple trusted her judgment on how much their son could handle. The medication to place him in a medical coma had been stopped two days before and the instant awakeness that everyone desired had not happened yet.

Izzy kept reminding herself of all the logical reasons he had not yet responded, but worry still clung close to her heart.

Mrs. Stoker took the chair next to his bed and leaned towards him. "Michael, the boys from the station came by again today. You know they check on you every day hon. Such nice fella's. You know, I knew exactly who every single one of them was after reading your letters. Hank has been an absolute gem to us. That Emily of his just opened up their home so we didn't have to live in a hotel. And their girls…" She shook her head. "Absolutely adorable. But I won't talk about that since I'm still waiting for my own grandkids."

Izzy held back the giggle.

"Johnny and Roy are here every chance they get. Honestly, I think they would live here if they could get away with it. Those boys have a fiercely protective side when it comes to you don't they? Oh, I'm not complaining a bit you know." She patted his arm. "This momma is glad that you have them looking out for you. Marco and his mother has brought dinner over for us a few times. Such a wonderful woman and she is worried sick over what happened to you. I find myself comforting her as much as she comforts me."

She laughed and leaned back in the chair.

"But that's okay. I'm not going to complain about you having a local mother when I'm not here to take care of you. Now, there's one more." She looked to the ceiling as if trying to picture the crew in her mind.

"Kelly," Mr. Stoker grumbled.

"Oh yes, dear Chester. Well, what can I say? He is exactly as you described him hon. Talks our ears off when around and often too busy chasing the nurses to focus on why he's even here. But, you're right. He's loyal without a fault and it shows in how he tries to tell the nurses what to do or the doctors what not to do. He's a good friend."

"Oh dear, I can't forget this either." She reached into her pocket book and pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it. "I know you can't see this yet, but I'm sure dear Izzy will save it for you. It's a beautiful rainbow with a unicorn standing under it, and I think that's a leprechaun next to the pot of gold at the end. This is from Jenny, Roy brought it to you. It says, Dear Mr. Mike, I hope you feel better soon. Think of rainbows and unicorns and you will be happy cause they make me happy too. Love, Jenny."

She passed it to Izzy who taped it to the wall beside his bed.

"Well, that's all for now dear. It's time for us to let you have a break and get some rest. We'll be back soon."

A monitor alarmed making her gasp and Izzy jump to his bedside.

"It's okay," she reassured them. "His heart rate went up a bit. I don't think he wants you to leave." She gave them a glowing smile.

Mrs. Stoker perked up quickly. "Do you think so? I mean, do you think he can hear me?"

Izzy nodded with her own excitement. "Yes, I do." She turned back to Mike.

"Mike can you hear us?"

His heartbeat went slightly.

Mr. Stoker stood by his side. "Well, I'll be damned. He can hear us."

"Michael, can you open your eyes for us?" Izzy encouraged him. "Try hard to open them for your parents. They miss you so much Michael."

His heart rate stabilized again.

"I think he's dreaming of rainbows and unicorns," Izzy laughed and took her hand. "It's wonderful progress. Don't lose hope okay?"

"Darling, with you caring for our son we have no worries anymore. It's just about us being patient I know."

"Yes, it is."

"Okay, well tuck him in tonight for us and we'll be back tomorrow."

"I sure will Mrs. Stoker. I'll see you tomorrow."

Alone again with him she took his hand. "Oh Michael, you're so close now I can feel it. Keep listening to us and come back."

Her heart leapt for joy as his monitor chirped a little bit faster. She began humming softly as she worked at changing out his IV fluid tubing and fluids. The process was tedious with his central line and required her to be completely careful to not contaminate him with bacteria. Humming soothed her and she realized his vital signs reflected he was relaxed and comfortable as well. Knowing they were alone for a while she began to sing to him. Her voice stayed soft and low and before she knew it her task was done.

"I think I want to stay in here with you."

The voice startled her and she turned to find Dixie gowned up and coming into the room.

"Hey, Dixie, what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"Just checking on our fella here before I head home." She tilted her head. "But it seems that he's in good hands today."

Izzy smiled with a bit of blush thrown into her cheeks. "Just doing my job. You know I was trained by someone that was such a stickler for details. It warped me forever."

"Can't trust those old nurses, they love to torment the young ones," she said with a wink. "Glad to see he's making progress."

Izzy turned back to him. "Yea, me too."

"Roy told me about the day it happened."

Izzy froze. "What did he say?"

Dixie smiled at her anxiety knowing Roy had already alluded to the fact that she thought she did something wrong. "Well, it seems that you crossed the line."

Izzy's heart was racing now.

Dixie walked over and took her hand. "You crossed the line from normal curiosity to saving him. Be proud of what you did and never doubt it for a minute. You did the right thing."

A tear ran down her cheek. "Thank you Dixie."

She patted her hand. "And keep singing to him." She turned to leave, but looked back. "It's easy to tell that he loves it."

A little nod and smile escaped as she forgot to be embarrassed about being caught. Soon the sounds of shift change began drifting into the room. Her shift always came to a close before she was ready to say goodbye. However, they day had been not only good, but amazing and she headed home a happy woman.

* * *

Brackett sat at the desk and wrote the new orders for the day. He was more than pleased with Mike's progress and everything was looking very good. The medication would be weaned again today and now it was mostly a matter of waiting for him to decide to wake up.

"We'll give him until the sedation is off before doing anything else," Joe said, leaning on the desk beside him.

"I agree Joe. If we don't see progress at that point we can do a CT scan." He turned around to Izzy. "He can come out of isolation too today. The burns are healing faster than I anticipated."

Joe smiled. "It's that top notch nursing care Kel."

Izzy smiled. "Thanks Dr. Early. Dr. Brackett, do you think we can start letting other visitors in for short times? I think Mr. Stoker needs to hear from his friends."

Brackett nodded knowing the history of that crew. "Agreed, but limited."

She shook her head. It was a big concession from him and she was thankful for it. "Yes," she replied with a big smile.

* * *

"Hey Mike," Chet said. "It's time for you to wake up pally. If Parker keeps cooking for us we're going to all die of heart failure. I swear the man fries everything and you know I don't follow that nutrition book anymore, but I'm pretty sure it would have a heart attack too."

"Yea, we're ready to have you back behind the wheel of big red too," Hank said. "I'm going to have to hide the keys soon since Kelly here keeps threatening to drive."

Marco laughed. "See buddy, we need you back soon."

Sue stood in the corner, not exactly pleased at a room full of visitors, but did what Dr. Brackett had allowed and Izzy insisted upon.

"Johnny and Roy will be by soon, they took the kids to the beach for the day off. We'll let you rest now."

Hank turned to the nurse and ignored her frown. "Thank you miss for letting us see him. It means a lot to us."

She sighed. "It's okay. Izzy thinks it will help him to wake up."

"Where is she today?"

"She worked the early shift then had to leave for meetings. She'll be back tomorrow." Sue said curtly.

* * *

The touch at his side was familiar now and he knew what to expect each time. He waited for the voice that eased him through, only this time, the voice was different. Before he could adjust to the change the procedure had started and the pain built. These hands weren't harsh, but they hurried without pause. His heartbeat increased without any respite in the sensations. Burning seared at his side and there was nothing but silence to help him through it.

His mind wanted to get up and run only to be held down by a body that wouldn't move. Fixed and without control he endured the agony. There were no distractions, no voices, and no gentle whisperings. It was relief when the darkness finally closed around him and shut that world out again.

Izzy was frustrated. "Going back up on the Morphine will only slow his progress."

Kel didn't know what else to do. "He's not handling the wound care and everyone reports his vital signs go through the roof when they handle him at all. He needs more sedation."

"Then can it only be as needed and not routine?" Izzy knew there was a delicate balance between comfort and over sedation.

"I think that's a reasonable request," he conceded.

"And since the side burn is doing so well, can you decrease the wound care to once a day?"

He thought on that one knowing exactly what she was doing. "This isn't about you Izzy."

"I know perfectly well this isn't about me Dr. Brackett. However, I am his primary nurse and I know him better than any nurse in this unit. I have a routine with him and when I do his dressing changes he never requires additional pain medicine and he maintains stable vital signs."

Yes, he had heard that from more than one nurse. "What about the days you're off?"

She let a breath out. "I'll cross that path when I get to it."

"Okay. But if I see any deterioration in the healing process we go back to my plan."

She nodded. "Agreed."

* * *

He dreaded the sounds and touches this time. There was too much pain involved with coming back to this world. Internal flinches and dread crept into every corner of his being and only quickened when the footsteps came closer. He focused on pulling the shroud over himself again and sinking back down.

Until he heard the voice.

She was back and his hope lifted. Somehow he knew it would be okay for a little while and to his surprise, if he listened hard enough, he could understand her words now.

"Good Morning Michael. I see you had a quiet night, that's good."

She was moving around the room and her hands fixed his bed, propped pillows around him for comfort, and she was gentle in her cares.

"Michael, can you hear me?"

Yes, he wanted to say, but his body didn't want to cooperate with him.

"Yes, you can, can't you? Open your eyes for me."

A thousand pounds they seemed to each weigh, but for the first time he wanted to open them.

"Focus on my voice."

The effort was exhausting and he drifted back down.

* * *

Another few days passed and though he continued to heal on the outside, they grew worried about the inside and his lack of consciousness. Izzy knew he was trying and worked in her own way to figure out what was holding him back. Was it medical or psychological?

The CT scan revealed a normal brain and no further evidence of a concussion. His leg burns were healing excellent and required no special care while his side injury also healed without indication of infection. With stable vital signs he had weaned off his morphine drip and only now required intermittent doses which was great progress.

Izzy sang softly to him as she changed his bed and did range of motion excercises with his arms and legs. It was important to keep his muscles moving and joints flexible while bedridden. Her watch over him was vigilant knowing that any movement seemed to cause him discomfort.

She looked up when she heard someone clear their throat.

"Mrs. Kenner?" Her voice reflected surprise and a hint of anxiety. The Nursing Manager for your department making a personal visit was usually not a good sign.

"Izzy, I need to speak with you. Sue will watch after Mr. Stoker for you."

Before she could respond the older woman had turned and headed back to the nurses' station. Izzy finished her task then followed her. The other nurses at the desk watched her go by and the anxiety began to rise. Once inside the unit office she closed the door and sat down. It was the same office she had the discussion with Dr. Brackett early in his care now held her boss behind the desk.

"Izzy, there have been some complaints filed against you that I need to talk to you about."

She was genuinely surprised. This was a first. "What kind of complaints?"

"Did you refuse a residents order yesterday?"

Izzy wanted to laugh, but wisely held it in. "Yes I did. The antibiotic he ordered was inappropriate."

"That's not your decision," the stern voice said.

"I wasn't going to give that medication to Mr. Stoker without the attending's approval. And if I'm not mistaken the doctor agreed with me on the matter and canceled the order."

The lady nodded. "Yes, he did. But he still wasn't happy with how you handled the resident."

Izzy scoffed and crossed her legs. "He acted like a child so that's exactly how I treated him."

"Izzy! This is a teaching facility."

She resisted the insane urge to roll her eyes. "I know it is and I actively participate in the resident program here in the unit, including protecting my patient from bad decisions."

Mrs. Kenner let out a deep breath. "I know you do, and you do an excellent job of it. Izzy hon, you've allowed yourself to get too intensely close to your patient Mr. Stoker."

Her heart skipped a beat. "Who thinks that?"

"The resident team, Dr. Owens, and the Chief of Medicine for this department."

"There never here, they spend 5 minutes a day with him, how could they be concerned?" As the words left her mouth she knew. "It's not them is it?"

The older lady remained silent.

"My own staff?"

"Izzy, everyone agrees you are giving excellent patient care. No one questions that for an instant."

"But, they question my compassion."

"Are you sure it's only compassion?"

Izzy couldn't answer something she didn't even understand herself. "I don't know." With tears in her eyes she looked at the woman who held her job in her hands. "I'll be more careful."

Her anxiety grew as she watched the woman shake her head 'no'. "It's beyond that now Izzy. I'm very sorry to have to pull you off Mr. Stokers care."

She felt her heart leap into her mouth. "Please don't do this. I'll distance myself, I promise. Please."

The plea touched her, but she knew it was out of her hands. She was only the bearer of the news. "I'm sorry Izzy this comes from the Director of Nursing and Chief of Trauma Medicine. As of this moment you may no longer take Mr. Stoker as a patient."

The words were gone; she didn't know what to say anymore.

"Sue will finish him for the shift. I think you should go home and get some rest." Then with caring in her voice, "Izzy, use the next couple of days off to understand this and move on. He's just a patient and you're just his nurse."

Without waiting for a reply she stood up and left.

Izzy laid her head on the desk and cried.


	9. Chapter 9

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath. ~Eckhart Tolle

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: I wanted to say thank you so very much for all the wonderful reviews and pm's you have sent me._

* * *

CHAPTER 9

HURTING HEARTS

Johnny stepped off the elevator to find Hank,Chet, Marco and Roy standing together talking. The excitement in the air was immediately palpable.

"Johnny, did you hear?" Chet said with the bubbling giddiness of a child at Christmas.

"What?"

"Mike woke up!"

Johnny looked over to the others who were just smiling. "Really, when?"

"During the night. His parents came out of update us. They said he's of course disoriented and doesn't remember anything that happened, but he seems to be doing okay."

This was wonderful news. "That's great!" Johnny clapped his hands together. Moving over closer to Roy he lowered his voice. "And the other issue?"

Roy shook his head. "Nothing so far. Brackett says he can't do anything since it's not his department."

"I was hoping that Mrs. Stoker's meeting with administration would have had better impact," Hank said as he walked up beside them.

"It's just ridiculous is all! So what if she likes him," Marco added. "Her being at the fire wasn't a coincidence. There's something else at work here and they need to just let it be."

"I know pally but we just don't have the power to make those decisions." Hank shook his head.

"How is she with all this?" Johnny asked quietly.

Roy shrugged. "No one has seen her since it happened."

Roy followed Johnny into the unit and quickly scanned the area in search of the easily identified nurse. Unfortunately, like the times before she couldn't be seen. He thought of asking at the nurses' station, but had already quickly gotten the impression that the subject was taboo.

Once in the room they both quickly greeted Mike with smiles seeing him sitting up in bed a bit and awake. His mother sat beside him with a look of complete joy on her face.

"Well, about time you decided to rejoin the living," Johnny scoffed at him though inwardly a huge weight seemed lifted off his shoulders.

"Thanks Johnny. Roy." Mike remained slightly pale, a bit thinner, and still had the air of weakness about him.

"We're just glad to see you back Mike. Now just keep healing up so you can get out of here," Roy said as he kept his own concerns tucked under the surface.

Mike nodded and drifted off to sleep since his energy reserves remained low at this point.

Mrs. Stoker motioned to them to follow her outside the room and closed the door.

"Something wrong Mrs. Stoker?" Roy asked.

"Probably not, I just wanted to say thank you for coming to see him. I think he's going to need his friends close by through the rest of this."

Roy immediately read the sadness in her eyes and simply nodded his head. He understood her concern. Mike had been through a traumatic experience and although waking up was an essential part of recovery he still had many steps to go, including the physical and emotion healing.

Johnny was just so glad to see him awake he missed the subtle signs of her concern. "Oh don't worry about that Mrs. Stoker. We'll keep him busy until he can get back to work."

She smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you Johnny. You boy's mean a great deal to me and his father."

"Thank you ma'am. He's a good friend," Roy answered.

Roy and Johnny stood in the doctor's lounge getting some coffee before leaving when Dixie came in mumbling to herself.

"Morning Dixie," Johnny said as he took a clean cup and poured her one.

She sat down and nodded her thanks to the warm liquid. "Thanks fella's. How's Mike today?"

Johnny beamed. "He's awake!"

Dixie just smiled. She already knew that since she kept close tabs on him while at work. "That's great Johnny. How did he seem?"

"Pretty wiped out still, but boy was it good to see him out of that coma."

Roy nodded, "Yea, he said hi then went back to sleep on us."

She leaned back in the chair. "Yea, it will take a while for him to get his energy back. Hey, do you two remember that little girl Abby from a couple of months ago and the house fire?"

There was no way Roy would ever forget that rescue. A house engulfed in flames and a family asleep. They lost the father to smoke inhalation, but were able to get the mother and five year old daughter out alive. Both had burns, though the daughters were much worse.

"Yea, how are they doing?"

"The mom got discharged about a month ago. She's actually doing really well considering what she's been through."

"And the little girl?" Johnny asked.

"She required some skin graphs and they have healed up pretty well. She was readmitted from rehab this week because she fights the wound care and won't participate in any rehab. She just shut down from it all and won't even talk to anyone."

"That's a shame," Johnny said shaking his head. "She was doing so well before she left."

Abby had gotten under his skin following that fire and he had continued to visit and follow up with her. She reminded him of Jenny and how devastating it would be if anything like that happened to her, or anyone in Roy's family. The younger victims often touched his heart the most and he liked to follow up on them to make sure they were doing okay. Like when he brought the red stone back the boy from the fairgrounds. His eyes lit up knowing that someone cared enough to follow through with a promise.

"Well, if you guys get a chance this week I thought maybe you could stop by and see her."

"Sure," Roy said. "She on peds?"

Dixie stood up and put her coffee cup in the sink. "Yea, she's in 502. "

"We'll check on her Dix."

"Thanks guys. I know it would mean a lot to her mother too."

* * *

"Hank, could you please talk to him?"

Mrs. Stoker stood there nearly wringing her hands until they were red with worry. This was something new and anyone could see she was very concerned.

Hank let out a sigh and reassured her. "I'll see what I can do. Care to join me Roy?"

"Sure Cap."

They moved into the unit and almost ran into Sue, his nurse for the day, and now his primary nurse. She looked completely exasperated.

"Oh sorry," she blurted out with impatience.

"Everything okay?" Hank stopped and asked.

She planted her feet and took in a deep breath. "He's impossible."

It wasn't the first time this nurse had seemed to lose patience with her charge and his brow furrowed with the statement of Mike being 'impossible' about anything.

"What happened?"

She let out a huffed breath. "He won't speak, he won't participate in anything, he won't eat." She pointed to the empty tray outside his window.

Hank held in his anger as she rolled her eyes while talking. His concern had been growing recently and he quickly shot a look to Roy.

"It's not really like the Mike we know. Is there anything you think that started it?" Roy asked.

With hands thrown up in a dramatic flair she tossed the dirty linen into the hamper beside them. "I don't know. The day he woke up?" She replied tartly then she paused. "Well, more like the moment we had to do his first dressing change when he was awake." She shook her head. "Never seen anyone so uncooperative in my life."

Without waiting for a response she stomped off towards the nursing station leaving the pair behind, quite baffled. In the room they found Mike awake and watching TV. Another uneaten food tray sat beside him, his gown was soaking wet, and a tray of bandages and supplies had been pushed to the side of the room with a few pieces scattered on the floor.

"Michael." Hank's voice remained neutral until he figured out what the main issue was here.

"Cap, Roy." He didn't make eye contact and continued to stare at the TV screen.

Roy moved behind Hank and sat down in the chair, letting his boss assess the situation while he watch from the side lines for a while.

"Everything okay?"

Mike shrugged and went back to watching TV. "It is now."

"Well, your nurse seems to think there's a problem and even your mother is a bit worried Pally. Anything you want to talk about?"

Mike softened his stiff shoulders and let out a sigh. "No Sir."

Hank pulled up the other chair and sat beside his long time friend and co-worker. "It's just us Mike. What's going on?"

He had been awake for about a week and what first seemed like a positive bit of progress had been slowed by multiple issues. Michael didn't know how to start or how to tell them what was going on without sounding like a whiner, which he was not, ever. Even if things were going horrible he was more likely to deal with it on his own and not complain. It was just who he was.

In the past he had confided in his Captain before and even more times to Roy who seemed to just have that kind of easy going nature and willingness to help out a friend. But now? How could he tell them of emotions that raged through this mind and body that he seemed to have no control over?

"They are healing well," Roy said startling him out of his personal reverie. Maybe that's why he sometimes felt comfortable talking to Roy. The man just had a natural knack at reading people.

"So they say." He still avoided eye contact, unable to face them knowing how his behavior had been.

"It's normal to need pain relief until they are healed up."

Morphine, Demerol, Hydrocodone, all medications they offered him on a regular basis. He hated the way they made him feel. He couldn't say that he remembered what happened when he was in the coma, but the lingering sensation of intense pain and lack of control had remained vivid in his mind.

Especially with Sue, the nurse that always seemed to be there during the daytime with him. She was always encouraging him to take something for 'comfort'. He had never been one to take medicine, even aspirin growing up. His parents were strong believers in homeopathic help for minor aches and pains. The way he felt on the heavy pain killers was disorienting and nauseating.

Yes, the burns weren't minor, but he still didn't need to be drugged to a near coma state to handle them.

"I don't like how they make me feel."

Hank understood. He had taken some pain relief when he was electrocuted on that run and the muscle spasms were extremely painful. "They can make you feel spacey."

"I don't know." He looked at them. "The pain doesn't go away and I can't tell them to stop."

Roy and Hank both nodded trying to understand where their friend was coming from.

Hank looked over to the half used tray of supplies where obviously the last dressing change had not gone smoothly and most likely not even finished.

"So, there has to be something that will make the process easier."

Mike started to speak but stopped. Something had helped in the past, something that he couldn't remember at all anymore except in his deepest dreams.

Roy watched him thinking. He got up and pulled a clean gown out of his nightstand. "Here, might as well get dried off."

Mike nodded with mild embarrassment. "Sorry. Sue and I didn't agree on the timing of the procedure today."

Roy chuckled. "Now you sound like Johnny."

Mike leaned back and looked quite indigent. "That was a low blow Roy."

Hank smiled to hear some of the old Stoker back in Mike's voice. "Geez Roy I'm trying to get him to cooperate here and you're offending him."

"Just put on the gown. Last think you need is to catch pneumonia," Roy shot back, but was satisfied with his effort to lighten up the mood some.

"I know this hospital food is the pits. What sounds good Pally and we'll bring it to you."

Mike looked at his friends knowing they were trying their best to lighten his dark mood.

"Maybe a Jack burger?"

Hank grinned this time and stood up. "You got it." Then looked at him a bit more seriously, "In all seriousness Michael everyone's goal is to get you well and back home okay?"

"I know Cap," Mike said quietly feeling his disposition descend again.

"Okay good. Then try harder to do what they want. Brackett's already saying you could be out to a regular room in a day or two. So don't delay the escape with a hunger strike."

Mike's answer was simple. "Yes, Sir."

For Roy it meant his friend had not really agreed to anything and he still wasn't exactly sure what was going on. As they said their goodbyes and left the room he decided there was one person he could talk to. He would head there before picking Jenny up at school.

* * *

"Come in Roy." She realized she should have been surprised to see the man standing at her front door, but then, she knew him too well after all these years.

"Thank Dix," he said as he followed her to the kitchen area and sat down on one of the bar stools.

She reached into the refrigerator. "Tea?"

"Sure."

She sat down across from the blue eyed medic knowing what his agenda would be. He was deeply concerned about a friend.

"I think I know what brings you this way."

He took a deep breath. "Dix, I just don't understand what's going on with him."

She had heard many complaints from nurses, respiratory therapists, doctors, and physical therapy recently. There was a wide assortment of theories on how to fix the noncompliant and angry firefighter in the ICU.

"Well, he's not really opened up to anyone Roy. So there's no way to know for sure, but I have some theories."

"I'd love to hear them Dix because this just isn't the Mike we know."

She looked down at the counter and focused on making some sense of her thoughts. "When I was a military nurse the most devastating part of it was watching strong healthy men try to deal with injuries that were life changing. You could stitch them up, help scars form, get rid of the infections, but they were forever changed inside. For many the love of family and friends helped them get past the dark times and see that life was still worth living. For others, they simply died on the inside."

She looked into his eyes. "Honestly Roy, I think he is dealing with both the external damage that is still healing, the pain of recovery which can be shocking to the strongest of people, and more than anything…." She paused. "I think he's dealing with how mortal he is and how close he came to not coming back."

"He's surrounded with support."

She nodded. "Yes, he is and it will be what helps him back from all this. Just refuse to let him give up and sulk off into a corner."

"I do agree with the pain part. Did you know he's refusing pain medication altogether."

"Burns are agony and we are taught in nursing school that once you do your care plan for physical needs, the number two need is psychological. I went up to check on him one night before he was fully conscious and they were doing wound care on him. I watched him flinch every time they touched him. He's doing the same thing now Roy. Only now he can fight back and gain control over those he feels is hurting him." She studied the sadness on his face.

"That little girl Abby?"

He nodded.

"She healed on the outside, but is having trouble healing on the inside. That affects her long term recovery. No physical therapy means no progress in walking which makes her feel different, which leads to depression and feelings of failure and thus no desire or drive for rehab. It's a vicious cycle. Even at her age it's a natural need to gain some control over things that affect your body and when you can't? You lash out."

"So how do we get a full grown, strong willed stubborn man to do what needs to be done?"

"Patience and understanding. Sounds corny I know, but it truly works. Is he still having issues with the nursing staff?"

Roy nodded in affirmation. "They complain that nothing seems to make him happy. He's fighting them tooth and nail over dressing changes, won't take anything for pain, and PT is starting out as a miserable failure each day. I don't know Dix. He just seems so …sad."

Her heart went out to him, knowing how much he cared about the friends that he worked with. "Mrs. Stoker talked to me yesterday about changing his nurse. She says that he really doesn't seem to like her."

"Mrs. Stoker is biased," he said with a little smile.

Her shoulders slumped. "I know and I wish we could change that situation, but it's out of my hands."

"I know and I know it shouldn't make any difference. He wasn't even conscious so it's not like he even knows her. I think we just got comfortable with her so it made us feel better."

"Don't be so sure that nurses have no affect on the comatose patient," she smiled at him.

"I wouldn't doubt it Dix, I really wouldn't."

He stood up. "Well, I have to get Jen at school. I really appreciate you talking to me for a bit."

She circled the counter and gave him a hug. "Anytime Roy, anytime. We'll get him through this, one way or another."

"I sure hope so."

* * *

The days off had been difficult. She hadn't been able to sleep well and put every ounce of energy she had into work at the club. Somehow she managed to effectively avoid everyone that could probe her for questions and the put on happy face seemed to have worked better than she anticipated.

The evenings had found her curled up on the couch with pen and paper writing profusely as the words poured out of her mind. It was cleansing, it was therapeutic and it was exhausting enough to help her find a little sleep before starting again.

One pleasant surprise had been the numerous phone calls from nurses in the unit. They had voiced concern over how she was doing along with their disapproval of the decision. The one that didn't call was eventually weeded out as the instigator of it all. She had gotten what she wanted and Izzy only hoped and prayed that she would give her patient the tender loving care that he needed and deserved.

Going back to work after those first days off had been the hardest when she had to face them following the reprimand. But true to their word they had been supportive and encouraging to her. Only Sue had remained distant. Her head continued to play the 'it's for the best' mantra, with 'he has no clue who you are' and 'this was all in your own head, get over it'. The trick was getting her heart to feel the same way. Instead, it just hurt with the loss of something she knew she never had to begin with.

The first week was the hardest. It had included a brief and quickly stanched attempt of appeal then dealing with his family over her disappearance. It was difficult to be the 'positive' person who was leaving telling Mrs. Stoker about how it would be okay and he would be in good hands.

She kept busy and kept herself distanced from that end of the unit and the nurses station. She loved being at her patients side usually and her new primary kept her busy even though she could feel the difference and it hurt. Then, to her surprise a week ago one of the main physicians had requested her to work with one of his patients. She jumped at the opportunity. It would, even if just briefly, get her out of the burn ICU and some much needed physical and mental distance from a man she struggled to forget.


	10. Chapter 10

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

* * *

CHAPTER 10

DARKENED SOUL

"Welcome to your new room Mr. Stoker," Crystal said as she helped him from the wheelchair to his bed.

The room was private and he was grateful for that. Sitting around trying to carry on a conversation with a stranger wasn't on his agenda right now. She kept talking about the bed, call light, and worst of all about the physical therapy schedule, but he turned on the TV and ignored her. He just wanted her out of his room and to simply be left alone.

Of course the door almost immediately reopened and his mom and dad walked in all bubbling with excitement over his exodus from ICU.

"Oh Michael, this is wonderful," she said while she ignored him ignoring her.

"Carol, stop fussing over the boy."

Inwardly Mike smiled knowing his dad had not changed over all the years and now that he was grown, he hoped he never would.

"Honey, I know we talked about this, but I just wanted to remind you that we have to leave tomorrow." She scoffed lightly. "You dad seems to think that Montana will fall off the map if he's not there to keep things going, so we'll get back down here to check on you as soon as possible. Your apartment is cleaned and ready for you to come home soon."

"I'll be fine mom," he said softly. He had been terse, cold, and had downright ignored many that tried to pick and poke at him, but never to his mother. Even in his darkest moments he knew to change the tone of his voice before speaking with her.

She brushed his hair behind his ear. "I know you will. You have lots of friends here to get you home and take care of you." She tisked at him with her tongue. "Look at you; you need a haircut so bad. I'll do that before I go."

He didn't argue with her knowing that she was already very aware of the sour mood that accompanied him daily now. Minimal words and interactions with anyone seemed better and he remained silent for the most part. Talking required energy which he didn't have and strength to follow through with actions and he still felt as weak as a kitten.

Damaged, weak, and broken he was, in mind and spirit. Everyone had surrounded him with well wishes and good thoughts, but the conversations had been kept light as they suspected what harbored deep inside him was dark and unforgiving.

Plans for his care had made sense, the goal was admirable, and even he couldn't tell anyone why he felt so broken inside. Nightmares plagued him each time he closed his eyes as something reached out of the dark, tossed him into the air and instilled agonizing pain throughout his being, leaving him alone and dead.

Roy had sat down with him recently and told him about what happened that morning at the fire. It was clear that the others had been also affected by what had happened to him.

Memories had been coming back in shattered shards, each one seemingly meaningless, but with Roy's recanting they were beginning to make more sense. He remembered the blast and the incredible relief at seeing them all making it out safely. Then the look on Roy's face changed, then Caps as they reflected the terror and then the touch of the wire hit him. His teeth had clenched together so tight and his chest constricted as the breath was forced out of him. The memories ended there though he felt like there was more, flickers in his dreams, but always out of reach from his grasp.

He was startled out of his daydreaming by his dad talking to him.

"He's a good man Mike, so listen to him."

Mike realized that he had not heard the entire conversation so he really wasn't sure who his dad was talking about. The lost look on his face must have been obvious.

"Stanley. Good man."

"Yes Sir, he is," Mike replied.

"Well honey, we're going to go for now, but we'll be back this evening okay?" She leaned over and kissed him without waiting for an answer since often there wasn't a reply back.

He nodded and remained stoic. Them being here meant a lot to him and he felt guilty for not being what they needed or expected him to be. They had always been great parents and right now he only felt like a failed son to them. Going back home was the best thing since he couldn't face them easily anymore.

* * *

The knock on the door was ignored, but still it opened and a young lady, very young who wore the uniform of a student; most likely nursing pushed a wheelchair inside the room.

"Mr. Stoker?" She timidly asked again.

He looked over to her with the instant decision to not move.

"If you can slide in the chair I'm here to take you to physical therapy today." Her voice reflected her uncertainty in her ability to move the man against his will.

The unconscious decision was also there to not raise his voice to her. The simpler solution was to roll over facing the wall and just ignore her request. The silence in the room was uncomfortable to her as she tried to decide what she would do next.

"Is there a problem Angela?"

"I'm sorry Ms. McCall. I'm supposed to take Mr. Stoker to physical therapy and he doesn't seem to want to come."

Dixie eyed him with worry then pushed her shoulders back. Enough was enough.

"It's okay Angela. Just let them know that Mr. Stoker isn't feeling well this afternoon and we will reschedule with them."

The sigh of relief and suddenly relaxed posture made Dixie smile at the young lady. Mike lay still as both sets of footsteps left the room leaving him exactly as he desired it.

Alone.

Dixie went straight to the nurses' desk to update Crystal on what had happened.

"Yea, I heard he acts like a two year old," she scoffed at Dixie.

"He acts like a man in pain."

"Then he should take his pain medicine likes he's told."

Dixie sighed and realized this was much more complicated than easily explained. "Not all pain is physical."

The young nurse sighed with her own frustration. "I know that Dixie, but what am I supposed to do about it? He's not listening to anyone. He's completely shut down."

"I have a couple of ideas. If you can reschedule his therapy for tomorrow I'll be here to take him. Mr. Stoker and I need to have a heart to heart."

Crystal smiled at that plan. She knew if anyone had a chance at getting a patient to open up, Dixie could do it.

"Will do."

She had a couple more stops to make and then some phone calls before she finally worked her way back down to the ER. It had taken her entire lunch break to get things set up, but she would be ready for tomorrow.

Stepping into Kel's office she was surprised to find Dr. Earn, Chief of Trauma Medicine in there.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," she said though she was highly interested in the conversation.

"It's okay Dixie, come on in. Dr. Earn was just telling me about staffing considerations." His tone of voice reflected his neutrality on the whole issue.

"I won't let a manipulative controlling nurse dictate how my department is run Kelly and that won't change anytime soon." The older man sat back with his arms and legs crossed clearly in a defensive pose.

"I'm not saying let anyone else run your department, but I do think we should always consider what seems to be working for the patient."

"Of course I care what helps the patient get better, but I don't appreciate being assaulted from all sides about something I had already made a decision about."

Kel knew the man's mind was already made up and that was only going in circles.

"Your department, your decision Mark."

"Damn right it is," he said then got up to leave.

Dixie remained behind until he left. "What's his beef with her?"

"Well, I have my suspicions, but it doesn't matter. He's not going to budge on this. Sorry Dix."

"I've heard rumors too and the ones I hear I'd believe," she smiled. "But, I have something I need to discuss with you first."

* * *

"It's your turn Chet."

He looked up at Marco realizing he had zoned out once again. "Sorry," he said as he played the next round of cards down on the table.

"You know the punishment for losing right Chet?" Johnny jibbed at him.

Chet curled up his mustache and smarted back, "Actually no Johnny, since you're always the one losing."

Johnny started to reply, but thought better of it.

Roy decided to change the subject. "Cap, I hear the Stokers are returning home soon."

Hank nodded, "Yep, tomorrow. We're taking them to the airport."

Chet leaned back in the chair. "I'm just glad he's out of that ICU. That place gives me the creeps." That was followed by a clear shudder.

"There, beat that Chester B," Johnny said as he laid his cards down beaming with pride.

Roy put his cards down followed with a 'sorry' look, then by Marco, who just smiled, finally Hank who found a spot on the ceiling curious. Chet went last and splayed his out in casino fashion as he slapped his hands on the table.

"Happy washing Johnny. I'll be on the couch with Henry if you need me."

Johnny growled as Roy gathered up the cards and couldn't help but laugh.

_SQUAD 51, REPLACING SQUAD 18, DOVER CANYON, FALLEN HIKER, MILE MARKER 21_

Johnny tossed Chet the dishtowel. "Maybe Henry will help you dry."

"If I didn't know any better I swear he plans runs sometimes," Chet grumbled as he tossed the towel to Marco before he could protest.

"Hey," Marco grumbled.

"I better not see Henry being used as a drying rag Kelly," Hank barked as he headed to his office.

"Aye Cap," Chet replied as he continued to mumble under his breath.

"I HEARD THAT," Hank's voice echoed through the bay making Chet shut up quickly and glance around to wonder who else might have heard.

"Marco, have you been to see Mike this week?" Chet asked quietly as he worked on the pile of dishes and pans.

"Sure have pally, haven't you?"

Chet remained quiet and Marco stopped drying to find out what was going on. "Chet?"

"Not this week."

"Come on Chet, what's wrong?"

He turned around and grimaced. "Well, you know last week when I came as you guys were heading out?"

"Yea," Marco said encouragingly.

"Well, I went in to cheer him up and he yelled at me."

Marco wasn't really surprised at the yelling part knowing that Mike had not been handling the accident well. However, Chet's reaction to it was surprising.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it Chet."

Chet shook his head. "It just kinda, well, you know, shook me up. I mean, I've never seen Mike like that. You know?"

Marco nodded. "I know. But we can't give up on him man. Tell ya what, I'll go with you on Tuesday before we come back to work."

That seemed to reassure the mustached man a bit. "Okay. But if he throws something at me again I'm gonna throw it back."

Marco watched Chet return to washing dishes and decided it was better to not delve into what happened on that visit any further.

* * *

Johnny and Roy slowly climbed out of the squad, filthy, dusty, and exhausted.

"Good rouse Johnny boy, now that I've done all your work, you come back," Chet taunted him.

Roy started to say something, but decided to let Johnny have his say. He'd earned it in the last few hours.

However, Hank spoke first. "Rough call?"

"That had to be the luckiest man alive. I swear, you should have seen it Cap," Johnny started. "He fell down the embankment only to get his backpack caught on a protruding branch. So not only was he halfway down the gorge, he was hanging twenty feet out over it."

Hank shook his head. "Will he make it?"

This time Roy nodded. "Oh yea, not a single broken bone, just cuts and scrapes. I think we got more banged up than him."

Hank eyed the medics with scrutiny. "Well, grab a shower and get cleaned up. We saved some dinner for ya."

The two were grateful to comply with that order.

"Roy, phone!" Marco yelled from the kitchen.

He creased his brow with concern over who would be calling him at this hour. "Roy here."

When he hung up everyone was sitting around the kitchen waiting to make sure everything was okay.

"Problem Roy?" Hank asked.

"Not sure. Dixie asked if anyone could meet her at the hospital tomorrow at one."

Hank took a deep breath; he knew what this concerned, as did the rest of them.

"Roy I can't. I've got a guy coming to my place tomorrow to work on the roof," Marco said with dismay.

"I'll be taking his parents to the airport. I'll get there as soon as I can," Hank said.

Roy looked at Chet and Johnny.

"I'll be there Roy. I don't have any plans until dinner," Johnny answered.

"Chet?"

He shook his head. "I'll be at my sisters, she's going out of town and I've got the rug rats for two days."

"Well Johnny, looks like it's you and me."

"Wonder what Dixie has up her sleeve?" Johnny asked.

"I don't know, but I sure hope it works," Hank replied with deep worry apprehension knowing his last conversation with his friend had not gone well at all.

_"Mike, we all know your hurting, but lashing out at the nursing staff isn't helping anyone."_

_"I don't give a damn about how the nursing staff feels."_

_Hank sighed. "Well, I'm telling you to stop." Sympathy and kindness hadn't worked, it was time for new tactics._

_Mike paused and Hank could see the fury building inside the engineer. _

_"Since I'm the one laying in the hospital bed I'm pretty sure you don't have any say in what I do or don't do, so feel free to leave at any time."_

_"Maybe I'll just stick around to force you to do what they tell you to do." This was not going according to plan, but he now found himself just as angry._

_"Good job Hank," Mike said with loathing. "You just went from friend to bully in sixty seconds."_

_"I am your friend Mike and I'm here to help you, but you have to stop shutting everyone out."_

_Hank would have sworn then, that if Mike could have stood up and punched him out right then and there he would have. Things continued to go south in trying to help their friend and he was now at a complete loss of what to do. Anger made him want to march out and slam the door, but common sense knew that was exactly what Mike wanted and exactly what he didn't need._

_"I'm not here to bully you into anything. Think of us as your cheering squad."_

_Mikes expression went from anger to one of giving up, not giving in, but one that only brought more concern to him. He watched him roll over effectively shutting him out, once again, and knew from all the previous attempts that the conversation was done for now._

_"Get some sleep Pally. I'll be back soon."_

Hank returned to his office knowing the daunting task of helping his friend was growing larger and larger by the day.


	11. Chapter 11

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

Music cleanses the understanding; inspires it, and lifts it into a realm which it would not reach if it were left to itself. ~Henry Ward Beecher

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: This chapter contains lyrics from a song called Firefly by Ed Sheeran. You can hear it on YouTube. Thanks for all the reviews and PM's of support, very appreciated._

CHAPTER 11

LIGHT TO A DARKENED SOUL

* * *

"I don't know Roy. I thought things would get better when they got him out of the unit."

Roy turned to his friend and partner, "Yea me too. But I guess it's hard for us to imagine what he's going through." Roy knew they had all had their share of bumps, bruises, broken bones, and near death experiences. This though was the first time one of the 51 A-shift had been through anything of this nature.

Johnny shook his head. "Well, hopefully Dixie has something new to try."

"Better believe I do," Dixie said as she entered the room.

"What's up Dix?" Johnny said with an air of anticipation.

Right behind her Kel walked in. "Yea Dix, what's this all about? I have a full schedule of meetings today." He was out of the typical scrubs and in a suit and tie for the day of administrative tasks.

She leaned against the counter. "This is about a mutual friend named Mike."

Kel shook his head and crossed his arms. "Dixie, I have no say in this battle and you know it."

"No, no, this is a new battle Kel and we had all _better_ have a say in it before we lose him altogether."

Roy felt his chest tighten at the thought. He clearly knew it wasn't a physical loss they were looking at, but something much more, the loss of a dear friend's heart and soul.

"So what's your idea?" Johnny was ready to find out what the plan was and to get it in motion. The distress of his friend was unnerving to him and his natural need to fix things for the better was long overdue.

"Nothing else seems to be working."

"You're right Johnny. I think it's time for some tough love. The first part of the plan is the forceful removal of our stubborn firefighter from his room and I have a feeling it will take all of our persuasions too make that happen."

"Then?" Kel asked.

"Then I simply ask for your silence and observation."

The three men looked at each other with wary expressions.

"Well?" She asked with her hands on her hips. "Are you going to help me or not?"

Roy didn't know about the others but he was grateful for her tenacity and determination. "Lead the way."

She pushed the wheelchair into his room seeing that he had adopted sleeping facing the wall as his position of defense. It allowed him to avoid eye contact with anyone that came in and to effectively shut everyone out.

"Good afternoon Michael. I'm here as your personal escort to physical therapy today," she said with bubbling excitement in her voice.

No one was surprised at the complete lack of response from him. Roy stepped past her and walked up to the bed. If Dixie said it was tough love then he was happy to help out. With one swift motion he reached up and pulled the covers off Mike making the man startle at the action and turn around.

"What the…."

Roy physically braced for the swing that he expected to come at him seeing the anger that flashed across the engineers face. Chet didn't talk about his last visit, but Roy had already heard some about it.

Mike's internal battle of how much will he could muster to protest was balanced with the knowledge that he had no chance against such an impressive show of force. His dark glare shot to Roy, then to Johnny. Roy met the look with his own fierce determination while Johnny subtly flinched with surprise at the despair in his friends eyes.

"Get in the wheelchair Mr. Stoker. I'm not playing any games with you today," Dixie said sternly.

Mike complied but his body language made it clear this would be the extent of his participation in the matter as he remained silent. His movements were stiff and his attempt to mask the pain of his unyielding muscles and the stretching of his burns did not go unnoticed.

Yes, it was noticed, but it wasn't going to stop them at this point.

The men remained silent followers while Dixie continued to chat as she wheeled him down the hall and to the elevator.

"Mike, I hope you don't mind but I need to drop Johnny and Roy off in pediatrics on our way to physical therapy. It won't take but just a minute."

"Dix, we've already…." Johnny started to say before a sharp look from her quickly reminded him of the 'silent' part of the deal.

"Mike, I don't know if you remember that bad house fire a few months ago where the dad was lost but you guys got the mother and daughter out? Well, I was telling Johnny and Roy about her being readmitted and asked them to give her a visit."

Roy thought he might know where Dixie was going with this. Abby had suffered much more extensive burns and survived. Maybe she would be a source of inspiration for him. He and Johnny had visited with the mother last week and spent a few minutes talking with her. Abby had been in therapy at the time, so actually they really had not seen her yet.

"Dix, I don't know if this is a good idea," Kel started to say only to receive the same warning glare from her. He quickly shut up.

"No, it will be fine," she continued with lightness to her voice. "Her mother said she was very depressed and not doing well when she came back in. But Kel, I think even you will be surprised at her progress in the last week."

Roy remembered the nearly overwhelming sadness of the mother. There was so much stress on her shoulders when she herself was also trying to heal. "Her mother said she wouldn't let anyone touch her."

Dixie kept talking to the others and effectively ignored Mike's participation or lack thereof in the conversation. "She didn't, but like I said she's doing better."

Dixie got off at the floor that held the pediatrics department. The waiting room was full of bright primary colors, soft oversized couches and whimsical wall paintings. They continued down the hall, past the main nurses' station and through another set of double doors that led to a small unit with its own station and private rooms. The lights were dimmed in this area which gave it an air of peace and serenity.

Each room was like an ICU room with walls that were half glass so the nurses could see inside and keep a close eye on particular patients.

"When did they move her down here?" Kel asked cautiously. He knew what this unit was normally used for.

"It was shortly after she arrived. They had to put her down her for closer observation when she tried to cut herself."

"What?" Johnny gasped.

"I know it's sad to think of a child so young feeling so depressed, but it does happen. She came in refusing therapy, not talking and so full of anger. But, what I want to show you is how miracles happen." She winked at him and Roy.

Mike listened half heartedly. He remembered the fire that called them out in the middle of that night. She and her mother had been burned and since he was busy at the engine he couldn't really remember if it was bad or not. But that was normal, he never saw the patients after they left the scene.

Dixie stopped at the desk and spoke quietly to one of the nurses who pointed to a room.

"She's right in here, but they said she just got back from physical therapy and came back crying so the nurse is helping her to calm down." She looked down to Mike. "We'll leave as soon as she is better. Okay?"

He grumbled and continued to stare at the pattern in the floor as the others moved past him and walked up closer to the window.

"Don't worry, she can't see us. They adjust the lighting here so they can keep a watch, but she isn't bothered by people walking by. The goal on this unit is minimal medication. They work at teaching the sickest children other ways to deal with chronic pain."

Roy nodded with a glance at the lighting then turned facing the window, his eyes adjusting to see into inside the darkened room.

Where Roy shot a glance of hope to her she felt the scowl of Kel at her other side.

With a side whisper she said, "Silence and observation, you promised."

He grunted and looked over to Mike; whose wheelchair was parked over to the side near the door.

Inside the room, the lights were dim and softened with butterfly nightlights. Stickers along the walls were stars and moons that seemed to glow in the low light. On the nightstand stood a radio/cassette player and they could hear the soft instrumental music of acoustic guitar and piano lofting out of the room and wrapping around them.

They all stood quietly and captivated.

The nurse held the child on her hip with one hand as Abby rested against her chest. Her small arms and legs held scars visible from top to bottom as they emerged from under the tiny gown. Her legs wrapped around the waist as the two swayed and slow danced to the beat of the music. Reaching up she gently wiped the tears that flowed down the frail face and they could see her whispering softly though they couldn't hear what she said.

Abby's hand reached up and cupped the nurse's cheek as she tilted her head back some to see her eyes.

Then she began to softly sing.

_I'll hold you close, till the night is quiet  
In loving arms, with all my heart  
Since we both have the whole night on  
I'll hold you near and keep you safe._

Abby nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck as her hips and feet moved in a soft swaying motion. Fluid motions that put the two into a world of their own amidst the chaos of everything around them.

_Little one, go to sleep  
The darkness comes, but so does peace  
Nothing to fear as I hold you close  
I'll keep you near and safe tonight._

Roy felt like he was holding his breath and with a quick glance realized Johnny was having the same experience. He was drawn to the obvious love and compassion she gave to the hurting child as she comforted her. Kel was speechless as he stepped closer to the window with the others.

Johnny knew that their job only exposed them to fresh wounds and states of shock. However, this was much different. The visible scars of her legs and arms hurt their hearts and reminded them all of how their job was only step one out of a hundred in the recovery from something so traumatic.

Mikes visible wounds might be on a smaller scale, but the damage was there, all the way through and the pain was very real.

Roy glanced over to see how Mike was handling this and his heart skipped a beat when he realized the wheelchair was empty.

Mike stared at the floor as if each polka dot represented another reason to be angry and resentful. He was irate that Dixie bossed him into it, he was disappointed and hurt at Roy and Johnny for coming as the brute squad and he was furious at them all for hanging around and pushing him endlessly. The more he thought about it the more he realized that he was just mad at everyone and everything.

His body was in endless pain, the medicines made him sick, and the nurses didn't care. Now this?

He knew that they all saw him as a big crybaby who needed to get over it and move on. They just didn't understand. How can you move on when you wake up to find out that you almost died, did die? Maybe, should have died.

Time was gone from him. He didn't even remember coming to work that morning. A part of his brain had been damaged and he had no idea if it was the only part. Was he even the same person? He sure didn't feel that way anymore. Would he ever be that person again?

Then he finds out about the horrible, excruciating gaping wound in his side. It repulsed him to look at it. At some point he began refusing dressing changes not only because of the agonizing pain and the nurses assault, but because it was disgusting to him. He was disgusting now.

It's not like he was a body worshiper. He didn't primp like Johnny, or obsess over his mustache like Chet. He knew he wasn't perfect and was completely happy with what life had dealt him. But this was different. He was damaged goods now and who would want this?

_This isn't like you Pally._

_Maybe that's because I'm not the same anymore Cap._

_But you are the same person. Don't let this tear you apart._

_Too late. _

He had seen the look in Hank's eyes, the disappointment in his behavior, the grimace when he saw the barely healing wounds. Every conversation went the same way ending with them leaving frustrated, upset and him only angrier at himself and them.

Yep, screwed up in the head and a messed up body. No one would ever want that. Why should they?

Distracted by something other than the brute squad talking or the phone ringing at the nurses' station he paused his mental ranting. It was simple, nothing hyped or overplayed, just sweet music that drifted into the hallway from the girl's room.

At first there was nothing very remarkable about the scene. A nurse was holding a child. All he could see was her back then as she shifted her feet some he saw the burned extremities of the girl. Suddenly he felt sick, nearly to the point of vomiting. This child had extensive burns much more than his memory of the fire had led him to believe. As he studied her small body he realized it was a miracle that she had even survived.

Now he tried to recall the conversations about her. What had they said? Yes, she had given up and they were fighting to save her and give her a reason to keep going every day. This child who had endured more than he could ever imagine now clung to her nurse as a lifeline. Wait, they had said she refused to be touched, but she was not only allowing it, she seemed to crave it as she snuggled against the woman's body.

Yes his pain was real, but so was hers and so much more.

The nurse's hair was pulled back into a pony tail and the tiny fingers played with the red curls as her tears were wiped away. The touch was full of love and he suddenly ached for the same thing, the same touch.

But when she started singing his heart swelled and he wasn't even sure why he was reacting. Her voice was angelic, perfect to his ears in every way, she was…..she was from his dreams and before he even realized what he was doing his feet had found the floor. Standing up he tested his legs, knowing that anything more than two steps was new for him and yes, that was his own fault. However, now he needed to move, he had to get closer.

He had to see her face. Had he ever seen her before? Did he know who she was? Her fair coloring was in contrast to the crimson hair, her features soft. Only the voice was familiar and it called to him as his feet shuffled across the floor. When he reached the door he stopped and leaned against the frame and watched her.

She swayed from side to side, her arms wrapped around the girl as if she was the most precious thing she had ever held. Her voice drifted past him and filled his mind with memories of gentleness and caring. The child's hand stroked her cheek with its own pure gratitude.

As the song came to an end she placed a tender kiss on Abby's cheek then looked up to discover him standing there. Mike was suddenly afraid he would be in trouble, but honestly he didn't care. He needed to hear her voice and know who she was.

"Michael?" Her voice was a whispered shock.

Roy looked to Dixie who stopped him in his tracks for the moment as they watched. "Wait," she whispered to him.

"Izzy who is Michael?" The little voice said as she sat up in her arms.

Walking up close to him Mike could see her eyes were full of tears, perhaps from singing to the girl.

She stood up a bit straighter and cleared her throat.

"Abby, this is Mr. Michael Stoker. He's one of the brave firemen that helped you and your mom get safe from the house."

Abby tilted her head and eyed the weakened man, his color pale and his eyes full of shock and wonder. She reached out and touched his cheek with her fingers.

"Thank you Mr. Fireman, for helping me and my mommy. Are you sick too?"

"I was, but I'm getting better now."

A smile came on her cherub face. "Good."

Izzy couldn't take her eyes off him. "I can't believe you're doing so well Michael. But perhaps you should sit down?"

Roy came up behind him with the wheelchair and Mike gratefully sat down in it not really sure how his legs had held him up that long.

"You were there," he said softly unable to take his eyes off her.

"Where?" It was a loaded question. There was so much she wanted to ask him, so much that she wanted to know about what happened to him.

"In my dreams."

She smiled and her emerald eyes sparkled. "Yes, you had not woken up yet."

"Did Izzy sing to you too?" Abby asked as she played with her hair.

Mike nodded. "Yes, she did."

"She sings to me and I'm getting better now."

Izzy sat Abby down on her bed, taking her fingers and brushing the brown locks from her face.

He smiled. "She helped me get better too." He didn't know how, but he now knew it was her, and that somehow, in some way, she had always been there.

Izzy smiled back at him with her own secret joy in being able to see him for the first time since being reassigned.

"But you left."

Her smile faded and he saw sadness wash across her, a deep sadness that surprised him with his instantaneous need to erase it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to." She quickly caught herself knowing Dixie and Dr. Brackett were standing there. "They asked me to take care of Abby."

He nodded quickly. Yes, Abby had needed her just like he had and he understood that. It was obvious the impact she was having on her recovery. The next feeling was unpleasant though and he wasn't sure how to deal with it. He only knew he didn't like it at all. The simple thought of leaving and not seeing her again was something that brought an unexplained panic to him.

"Would you…." He voice trailed off knowing the question would sound insane to everyone around him.

"Yes Michael?" She asked unable to hide the hopefulness in her voice.

"Come visit me?" His eyes locked on hers. They were deep, like wells to her soul and somehow left him feeling safer than he had felt since waking up.

She knelt down in front of him though still afraid to touch him. "If you would like me too, yes."

He nodded and was flooded with a mix of exhaustion, from all the effort, and pure euphoric energy.

"Izzy, my leg hurts."

Izzy was brought back to the world around her, stood up and softly whispered to her charge eliciting a smile and nod.

"I have to go now Michael," she said. "But, I promise to come see you."

Roy looked to Dixie in awe as they walked down the hallway. "You knew."

She stayed quiet, only giving him a wink.

A/N: We visited a water park this summer and I met a little girl, about 5 years old, have a grand ole time playing in the water. She had burn scars on at least 60% of her body and I could only imagine the journey she had made to reach this point.


	12. Chapter 12

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart. ~From the television show _My So-Called Life_

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

A/N: Thanks! I loved writing Chapter 11 and loved hearing from so many about it, thank you again!

* * *

CHAPTER 12

POSSIBILITIES

Brackett leaned back into the couch of the doctors' lounge as he nursed a cup of coffee between meetings. He had left the pediatrics department with not only a change of heart regarding Izzy, but with a new revelation in how much nurses impact patient recovery. He wasn't much different than most doctors. The ever presence of nursing staff wasn't a forethought in his mind. They did their job, some better than others, and he was grateful for those who took the responsibility seriously and with dedication. This was his first glimpse, beyond Dixie, of those that went above and beyond. There were those who didn't do it for money, because that was never an incentive, nor was there fame and glory involved. It was more basic than any of that. Love. Love for what they did and a dedication to being the best they could at it.

"Dix, you never cease to amaze me."

She tried to look innocent. "About what? The fact that I have to trick you into opening up your mind to what's possible outside the land of medicine?"

"You were right, there I said it. Happy?" He said with a chuckle then shook his head. "I don't know what kind of influence I will have, but I'll try and get her reassigned."

"That's not what I took you up there to see Kel. She's making great strides with Abby and I believe even Mike would protest taking her away from that child." She sat down beside him. "I don't want you to make any changes except in the way you view what nurses, strong compassionate nurses, contribute to how patients recover. I really believe that if she had stayed with Mike he would be on the road to recovery and maybe even home by now. We can't take that time back, what's done is done, but we can make it better for him now."

He nodded in agreement. "I know you already have this all planned out, so just tell me what you want," he smirked.

She smiled at him. "Nothing major. I think she should to be in charge of his wound care. She's a burn nurse and that is her specialty so it's not asking for the moon."

"Agreed, and?" He said with raised eyebrows knowing her well enough to realize she wasn't finished.

"And I want her to be a part of his rehab."

Again, he nodded. Honestly it wasn't asking too much. "I'll see what I can do."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"No promises, but I will do the best I can."

* * *

Michael gently climbed back into bed with the aid of Johnny while Roy returned the wheelchair to the side wall out of the way. He had been silent and they knew questions would start soon so they pulled up chairs and waited patiently as they watched TV and casually bantered about the upcoming football season.

"She was my nurse?"

Roy nodded. "Yea, in the ICU when you first arrived." Inwardly he smiled just grateful that it was getting him talking again.

After a few more moments pushed up in bed a bit more and adjusted his pillow. "Did she really sing to me like that?"

Roy stood up and stretched. "We never heard her, but Dixie said she always sang when she changed your bandages. Apparently it's just something she does with her sickest patients. All we know is that you needed less Morphine when she did and fewer drugs meant you could wake up."

Johnny watched him closely. "You okay man?"

Mike shook his head slowly from side to side as if trying to get rid of cobwebs from his brain. "I know I remember her voice, and somehow I remember the music. I just feel like I should know her, like I've seen her before." He leaned back into his pillow. "Guess that sounds nuts huh?"

"Well," Johnny started to say.

The sigh of exasperation he let out reflected the fact that he agreed and was sure he was going crazy through all this. Opening his eyes again he glanced over to Roy and was puzzled by his expression.

"Roy?"

He took a deep breath and released it. Roy revealed the details of Izzy alerting them to the wire and her beginning CPR. Johnny sat on the end of the bed and added comments along the way. Mike remained a silent and eager listener.

"What was she doing there?"

Roy shook his head. "I have no idea and honestly, I don't think she does either. It just happened."

"It's like Marco said. Something led her there. It was meant to be," Johnny added with flourish.

Mike sat in silent contemplation trying to fit all the pieces to his puzzle of dreams and emotions together. It was almost too much and he felt exhausted from the trip and intense emotions.

* * *

The Stokers walked down the quiet hallway knowing this was their last visit with their son before leaving and both were drowning in worry. Issues at home were forcing their return, but she was heartbroken at the thought of leaving her only child in such a distressed manner. What had been joy at having him reach this point was greatly off balanced by seeing the despair in his eyes.

She paused at the door and took a deep cleansing breath knowing that she could never let him see her doubt through all this. When she opened the door she wasn't surprised to see some of his friends there with him. They had been ever constant presences through the entire process. This time there was a difference though and her heart skipped a beat with instant concern until she absorbed the emotion of the room.

"Michael? Are you okay?" She looked to each man's face trying to figure out what was going on.

For the first time he was actually sitting up in the bed with his eyes reflecting something new. "Yea mom, I'm okay.

She leaned over and pulled him into a giant embrace with a restrained hysterical laugh. "I don't know what happened since yesterday, but oh my, I love you so much I hope you know that."

He hugged her back until he felt her release. "I know, I love you too."

She looked at Roy, almost giddy with excitement. "What did you do to him?"

Johnny laughed. "Well, today he met a special red headed nurse."

Her jaw nearly dropped and she let out a gasp. "Oh my, you saw Izzy?"

This time Michael shook his head. "Does everyone know her but me?"

"Yea, pretty much pally," Johnny snorted.

"Michael, you better be nice to her. She saved your life."

"Yea, the guys were just telling me about what happened at the fire," he said still unsure how to process it all and make some rhyme or reason of it.

"Fire?" She looked at Roy puzzled. "I was talking about the protocol," she said.

Now he was puzzled again and finally tired of all the missing pieces. He needed, desperately, to see the whole picture finally. Roy felt the uncertainty and frustration mount in the room again. He put his hands up. "Okay, let's start from the beginning."

The next half hour Mike leaned back and learned more details about his fate at the fire and the hours and days that followed in the ICU, including the exodus of his own personal angel. For the first time in several hours anger began to brew deep down again and his mother saw it in his face and muscle tension.

"No," she said firmly and with command. "Don't let it rear its ugly head again son. Things happen for a reason and perhaps it was her next fate to be there for little Abby. Would you deny that precious child of Izzy when she needed her the most?"

Where he could only visualize all that he had lost, she saw some good from it all. And so did he having seen it firsthand.

She continued. "But she will be back and will be a part of you getting better and out of here. I feel that much. Your job is to do your hardest work ever to make it happen. Otherwise, you are just throwing away all that she did for you."

Mike looked at the ceiling trying to avoid tears in front of his mom. She was right in all things. After all she had done for him and he did nothing but endeavor to throw it away. Shame and regret flooded him.

"I'm sorry mom."

She hugged him again. "Oh Michael, there's no reason to be sorry. Just get well for me so the next time we come back will be a happy time to celebrate."

"I'll do my best," he said nodding. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but for the first time he realized he had to face the pain and deal with it instead of hiding.

* * *

His newly promised patience was about to be fully tested as the nurse of the day brought in the supplies needed to change his dressing. Each item was sorted and arranged and he could already feel his body subconsciously tensing and flinching in the anticipated response to what was about to happen. It was easily the most dreaded and anxiety producing thing he had experienced. He knew the biggest part of overcoming the trepidation was mind over matter.

The nurse looked at him with her own anxiety showing. "We'll be doing your wound care in just a few minutes Mr. Stoker. I would like to give you something to help your pain, if that would be okay."

He shook his head in a fervently silent no. The thought of being half drugged through it created more apprehension than the procedure itself.

"Okay," she said then left without challenging his decision.

Sitting alone in the room he almost wished that one of the guys were there to help him get through it or at least hold him down through it in case he did something stupid. For the first time he questioned if he could keep his promise to his mom and doubt began to creep in. The longer the silence the more he tensed up.

Then she walked through the door. Her smile was reserved and a bit shy, but his wasn't. He was glad to see her.

She stood beside him. "How are you feeling today?" Her voice was warm and sweet.

"Better. Thanks for coming to see me."

"Well, I hope this is okay with you, but your doctor has asked me to do your dressing changes from now on."

He froze. Why? Why should he be worried? Lord, she had cared for his entire body when he was in a coma. Did he feel shy around her? Some yes. Did he fear she would hurt him? Maybe, since every dressing change he could recall had been painful. Was he embarrassed by what she would find, seeing how he had allowed the healing to be delayed by his actions? Yes.

Her voice softened. "Michael, I know you're anxious about this and I know you're experiences have been bad, but I will do my best to get you through it with the least pain possible okay?"

He could only nod and his obvious dread and fear brought heartache to her. What had they done to him?

She pulled out a syringe and he immediately flinched away from her. They had warned her about his aversion to medicine even though they didn't know the cause.

"Michael, this is only a half dose, and I will only give you half of it. I want you to see that a controlled amount of pain relief is good without you feeling out of control. I will never give it to you without your permission. Okay?"

As he listened to her he realized that somehow she understood where no one else had, ever. He nodded his consent to the drug.

Only after the medicine hit his system did she begin to open up the supplies. He leaned back on the pillow feeling a bit relaxed though very much still in charge of his wits. He flexed his hands and fingers feeling the ease of control over them which offered him a level of protection.

Against what? Or who? Would he push her away like he did the others? Would he feel the need to?

She adjusted the sheet so he was covered from the waist down giving him privacy then lifted up his gown. She anguished over each flinch of his body at her touch. Taking the extra time needed she smeared a solvent all along the tape which made it almost melt off his skin so when she lifted up the old gauze there was zero pulling on his skin.

She kept her pace with his reactions and recognized each movement as his signal to slow down. Under the dressing she was appalled at the condition of his wound. No wonder he was in so much pain. It was amazing to her that there was no infection.

The edges were dried and cracking while the inner area looked raw and angry again, much like the first days. She pulled out her own supply of items and began to talk to him.

"I'm not going to do anything to you without telling you first Michael." She watched him closely. "Open your eyes and look at me."

He did as she asked and though her tone was firm he found caring in her features.

"Now a part of healing is knowing how far you have come so I want you to look at your side and I will tell you what we are going to do to get it well."

"I know what it looks like," he said sharply before realizing it.

No evidence of impatience found its way to her words or touch. "I understand it's something you don't want to see, but it's here and we are going to heal it up. So look at it."

His eyes locked on hers and followed them down to his burn. As she showed him the different areas and what the treatment plan would be he began to see it as a mission to complete. It wasn't pretty, but neither was it as bad as he had built it to be in his mind and imagination. He was no longer disgusted by what he saw and when he looked away she didn't push him any further.

She talked as she continued her procedure. His body flinched repeatedly, but instead of stopping her or lashing out his hands fisted in the blanket until his knuckled turned white.

Her concentration was dual on what she was doing and how he was handling it. Constantly she paused and talked to him teaching him breathing techniques and how to focus on an image.

"Good," she said as she continued.

Then she started humming. Opening his eyes he watched her as she seemed focused on her task. It was obvious she wasn't oblivious to his reactions, but seemed that humming while she worked was simply second nature to her.

Looking up at him her cheeks flushed a bit under his scrutiny, but she didn't stop. Again he closed his eyes and let the song form in his mind. It was the song she sang to Abby and he focused on remembering the music and the words.

She continued to work and smiled as she watched his hands relax a bit and his breathing even out. There was more Morphine available if she thought he needed it, but she wanted him to learn some techniques in dealing with the pain.

The flinches continued and they guided her in her task. Once the area was nice and clean she put a healing ointment around the edges and replaced all the gauze and overlay dressing. The music never skipped a beat in his mind or to his ears.

"Michael?"

He pulled himself out of the song and dreaded the rise in pain again. Only this time, it didn't happen. When he opened his eyes she was looking at him with worry.

"Are you okay?"

He looked around and saw the procedure tray pushed back towards the door and her gloves were off. The pain was there, but it was tolerable. Was she done?

"I think so."

She relaxed and smiled at him. "Okay, you had me worried there for a minute."

"It was different."

Her head tilted slightly to the side. "Good. This time we used Morphine to help, but each time I want you to practice the techniques we've talked about today?" She looked down at his side. "It's behind in healing and we need to get it back on track okay?"

"Okay," he said as the realization still seeped in that he had endured the pain and made it through the agonizing task. "Will you do it the next time too?"

She laughed, soft and sweet. "Yes Michael. I will come in and do your dressing each day I'm working. I will make a detailed care plan for it and the other nurses will follow it when I'm off." She watched him tense up. "I can't be here every day, but I can make sure we all do the same thing. You're job is to accept the pain medicine, just ask for the lower dose, then focus on getting through the procedure. I will keep the number of nurses doing it to only one or two when I'm not here."

He looked skeptical.

"This is about stepping up and taking charge of your own care. You know what helps and what makes it worse and over the next few times we will perfect the technique, you and I together."

He tried to appear sure of it all.

"I know when you were unconscious you had no control, but now you do and that control needs to be _controlled. _Understand? There will be no more lashing out, refusing the procedure, and especially no more refusal of pain medication."

He started to protest.

"No, now listen to me. You can be all macho at work. Here you are a patient that needs to have enough pain relief and endurance to get stronger. This isn't forever, it's only temporary and it will help you heal faster if used correctly."

"It makes me feel…."

She nodded. "Out of control, yes I understand that. You're only memory of it was when you needed large doses in the beginning. It's not like that now. Did you feel out of control this time?"

"No," he conceded.

"Okay, that's exactly how it should be. Just enough to help you deal with the discomfort and no more."

"Okay."

She shook her head no to him. "Okay what?'

He smiled seeing the fiery red haired tenacity come out in her. "Okay, I'll behave."

"And?"

"Not refuse care and I will try to tolerate small amounts of pain medicine."

"Good," she said with a quick nod of her head. "Next is diet."

He groaned.

She tossed him a scowl. "Don't groan at me. Good nutrition is critical to tissue healing. Every meal you refuse to eat gives you another day in the hospital. You need to eat from every single tray that is brought to you. And no junk food brought in from your pals. This calls for fruits, vegetables, oils, and solid protein."

"Okay," he mumbled.

"I expect you to take in almost twice the calories that you would have before winding up in here."

"Twice? You're kidding me," he scoffed.

She remained resolute. "I'm not kidding in the least. This is about healing and the nurses will be doing calorie counts on you and reporting back to me. Understood?"

He simply nodded and found himself unable to resist the smile.

"Good. I have to go give Abby her medicines so I have to leave for now, but I'll be back this time tomorrow okay?"

This time he did smile then quickly got his own serious look. "I have conditions too." If she had demands then he could muster up his own too.

She stopped and looked at him with curiosity. Feistiness was a good sign. "And that would be?"

"First, Sue better not set foot in my room ever again."

She nodded though he caught the flash of dismay across her face. "And the others?"

"Only one other," he said quietly almost afraid to ask.

The word _anything_ rested at the tip of her tongue. "Yes?"

"Words," he said with confidence.

It puzzled her for a moment. "Words?"

"Next time, I want words."

Then she got it and broke out in a big smile.

"Deal."


	13. Chapter 13

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword. ~Charles Reade

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

* * *

CHAPTER 13

New Beginnings

Chet walked up to the door, and then turned back to the elevator, then back to the door again. Marco had promised to come visit with him but where was that man? The last visit had gone horribly wrong and he wasn't sure if Mike even wanted him to come back again.

The elevator dinged and relief washed over him to see Marco step off of it.

"About time Marco, where have you been?" Chet snapped at him.

Marco chuckled. "Relax man, I'm only five minutes late. Besides, Johnny called me this morning and said that Mike would love company today."

Chet didn't look convinced at all.

Marco slapped him on the back and laughed. "Let's go."

They knocked on the door and were surprised to hear '_ente_r' since usually only silence greeted them. Pushing the door open they found Mike sitting up in bed eating his lunch.

"Hey!" Marco said instantly.

"Hi," Chet said with a bit less enthusiasm.

Mike waved quickly to them. "Hey fella's, what's up?"

Marco pulled up a chair and sat down. "Not much, out doing a couple of errands and thought we'd come by and check on you."

The change in their friend was immediately noticeable, but Marco felt no need to point it out. He was just glad to see a glimpse of the old Mike back.

Mike kept munching on his salad. "Glad you guys came by. Today has been pretty boring." He looked over to Chet who was sulking at the back of the room and immediately felt guilty over how he had acted the last time. Looking down at his tray he picked up the roll and proceeded to throw it straight at him, hitting him right smack in the forehead.

"What the?!" Chet yelled then looked over to see Mike laughing.

"Just making sure you weren't going soft on me buddy," Mike said before taking another bite.

Chet smirked then relaxed and sat down. "Very funny."

With the awkward moment past the three friends sat around and discussed recent runs and antics at the station.

"So how's Parker working out?" Mike asked as he finished his cookie.

"More like _not_ working out if you ask me." Chet pulled up a chair and grumbled under his breath. "The man has NO sense of humor that's for sure."

Mike knew what he was referring to immediately. "What's wrong Chet? The phantom not having any fun?"

"Not with him, Geesh."

Marco laughed. "Oh the phantom was having fun until our new engineer failed to appreciate his new red hair and beard and got his own revenge."

Mike snickered. "Chet you didn't."

A smile slowly broke out. "Well, yea."

Mike shook his head. "So, what was the revenge?"

He looked up to Mike and shook his finger. "The man is crazy. I'm telling ya right now, he's crazy."

Marco was already laughing and Mike wasn't sure anyone would answer the question. "What did he do?"

Marco looked over and realized Chet had clammed up and wasn't about to share the details so he did. "Well, we got a run around three in the morning." He was struggling not to laugh. "Chet woke up to find his bed in the front driveway and almost walked into the street before he woke up enough. Then he had to bang on the bay doors to be let in. The expression on Cap's face was priceless to find Chet outside the bay."

"Yea, he looked completely thrilled Marco. Good memory pally," Chet said as he rolled his eyes.

Marco ignored him and continued. "So Cap made him move his bed out of the way and moron here jumped into hi boots only to find peanut butter in them."

Mike worked hard to stifle the laughter.

"I had to practically drag him to the engine and when he jumped in the seat it was covered in a loaf of bread." Marco sat up and pointed his finger. "But the clincher was the hat full of grape jelly." He burst out laughing. "Chet was a walking peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

Mike laughed, deep and hearty for the first time since he could remember. His side hurt, but he ignored it as he enjoyed the company of friends. Chet sat with his arms crossed and looked completely ticked off.

"And I HATE peanut butter and jelly," he grumbled.

Mike calmed down a bit. "Well, I think that's a pretty strong warning to the Phantom if I've ever heard one."

"Oh, you just wait. This calls for something special and the Phantom never gives up," Chet said with a sly smile.

Marco shook his head. "I'm telling ya Chet, you better leave the man alone. I think he was just getting warmed up."

Mike nodded too and he stopped laughing. "I agree. I think the Phantom has met his match with Parker."

Chet remained silent, but they knew more was to come between the workmates.

Mike pleaded a bit. "Please don't run him off just yet. I need a little longer to get out of this place."

Chet rolled his eyes. "Well, he doesn't need to get too used to the position anyway."

Marco sat back and watched the two men banter until a nurse came in and he watched the subtle change in Mike's posture. Tension rippled in his muscles, his face reserved with all relaxation gone. It was like he was prepared for a fight until she finally left the room.

"Man, they're not that bad are they?" Chet joked obviously seeing the same thing that Marco did.

Mike tried to lighten up. "You sit here for days on end at their mercy and see how much you like it."

Both men nodded. They had endured hospitalizations and could agree that even pretty nurses grew old when you just wanted to go home.

* * *

Over the following days his strength grew gradually as he followed Izzy's Law's of Healing, as she so aptly named them. His appetite returned with vigor and he struggled through each PT without complaint knowing he could see the steady progress. Just when each dark lonely night brought the nightmares back Izzy would show up that morning with her beautiful smile and a new song for him.

After having her presence for four days in a row it didn't take long for him to miss her on her days off. As she had promised though his daily wound care had grown easier for him to cope with and he could see the healing his body was accomplishing. Also to her promise the only other nurses that came in to do it, when she was off, followed her technique to each letter of the plan. The only thing he missed on those days was the sound of her voice and her caring touch.

"And the purple elephant climbed up high," she sang to herself.

He couldn't help it. He started laughing.

She looked up at him like he had lost his mind. "What?"

"Did you really say the purple elephant?" He snickered.

The blush creeped into her cheeks as she grinned back. "Oh, sorry, that was Abby's addition I forgot to take out."

"No, don't do that. I like it."

Now she laughed. "Trust me, you and Abby are the only ones that hear that song."

He looked at her deeper. "When did you start singing?"

She put the last part of the dressing on and threw her gloves away. "My mom sang to me so it just seemed natural in our house. She could turn any task, like vacuuming, into a fun song. I would often sing and play guitar for family from the age of 5 or 6."

"Wait, you play guitar too?"

"My dad taught me. Now you couldn't get him to sing a note hardly, but he's a great player."

"Maybe someday I can hear you play." It was a silent hope that he added to the list regarding her.

She waved him off. "Not here you won't. You have to get well before that would happen. I get into enough trouble for doing what I do," she laughed.

She had taught him a great deal in a short time. He had learned to first and foremost have patience. Not only patience with himself and those around him, but hardest of all was to have patience with the entire healing process. It wasn't easy and he was the first to admit that, but things had gotten better quickly over the last week and even his doctor had expressed his pleasure with how well he was doing.

For Mike, doing well meant getting back home and that was the best incentive possible for him at this point. He was fed up with being tied to a hospital bed.

* * *

This particular day was a never ending one. Izzy had been off for three long days and he was bored to tears. The A shift was on duty so his visitors had been limited to his neighbor stopping by to say hello and a phone call from his dad. Pacing the room was growing old and looking out the window at the limited city landscape was growing even older.

When someone knocked on his door he was very surprised to see Izzy come in with a wheelchair. This was the first time he had ever seen her not wearing hospital scrubs and she took his breath away. She was wearing a colorful flowing cotton dress, v-cut at the neck, but what caught his eye was the fact that her hair was down, lying across her shoulders and the red boots she wore.

The mischievous look on her face was only one of the reasons he smiled at her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Shhhh, I'm here to break you out." She giggled and reached into the small closet to pull out his robe and house shoes. "Here," she whispered.

After she helped him get dressed he stepped into the chair and she backed him out of the door, looking both ways before escaping. The elevator was crowded and she stood quietly behind him. When it finally reached the floor she desired she pushed him out and down another hallway towards a back entrance.

"Where are we going?"

Her face was glowing with excitement. "You'll see in just a minute."

They emerged outside and into the bright sunlight. Mike had to cover his eyes from the glare and it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to where he could make out the garden in front of him. It was beautiful. Paved pathways wound through the abundance of flowers that seemed to explode in every color. They passed the center which was a stone fountain with water that trickled down multiple levels into a pool of lily pads and koi fish.

"I never knew this was even here," he said as they worked their way to the far side.

"It's a hidden gem for sure. Most patients either aren't well enough to come or don't have family to bring them. I thought you'd like to get some fresh air for a change."

Once again she seemed to read him like a book. How did she do that? "It's really nice, thanks."

He took in deep breaths to soak in the sweet fragrant air while his skin warmed under the hot LA sun. It felt wonderful. She slowed down at a bench and sat down beside him.

"Doing okay?" She asked. Her concern for him always felt deeply honest.

"Yea, thanks for doing this. I'd almost forgotten how much I missed being outside." He turned to look at her and realized that the sun made her hair blaze like a fire. There was so much he wanted to ask her, to know about her, but would she want him to know those things?

"I hope you don't mind me doing this," she asked with a hint of hesitation.

He stood up from the wheelchair and sat down next to her on the bench. "No, I'm glad you did."

"I was just out doing errands and well," she stammered a bit, "Well, I missed seeing you the last couple of days."

This time he smiled as he watched her blush and suddenly look shy. "I've missed you too." He wanted to keep the conversation going and to help her feel comfortable with him. "So when you leave this place what do you do?"

She crossed her long legs and brushed the hair back from her face. "I work at my father's business keeping his books, doing the payroll and just helping him run it. That keeps me busy on most of my days off. Sometimes I get a little time to myself, like now."

He resisted the urge to reach over and tuck a wild flame behind her ear. One thing he didn't want to do was cross the line with her and risk messing this up. Whatever 'this' was. He felt his heart skip a beat at even the possibility that she might like him too. Then his internal monologue smacked him in the back of the head for thinking like a high schooler.

"That sounds like another job," he chuckled. "What do you enjoy doing?"

Since the day he first saw her this was what he wanted to do, to know her better.

"Well, I run every morning at the park. I read when I can, but have a terrible time finishing the book most of the time." She shrugged a bit. "I love music, as you know, so I try to get out and see live bands at the local clubs when I get a chance."

"Run huh? I used to do track in college. Still run some to keep in shape for the job, but not as much as I should."

She grinned. "Well, get healed up enough and I'll go running with you sometime."

He raised his eyebrows and got a serious look on his face. "I'll hold you to that." It was her first indication that she might, if he was lucky, be willing to see him outside the hospital.

She shook her head a bit and smirked at him. "If you think you can keep up with me."

He laughed. "Oh, now I see how it is. What are you a marathon runner or something?"

She snickered at that crazy thought. "Oh, heavens no! I don't have a competitive bone in my body. But I'm sure I can keep up with you. What do you do on your off days?"

He kinda shrugged. "I like to do some camping, fishing. I have a friend with a boat and borrow it as much as I can. I like to fix things and I'm pretty handy with a tool box. My dad always said I had a knack at repairs."

Her head tilted to the side. "From what I hear you're a pretty mean cook too."

That surprised him. "We'll I do get rave reviews at work, but then firemen will eat about anything that' s put in front of them."

"Well, I won't challenge you to a cooking competition then."

"You mean the singing nurse doesn't cook?" He feigned a shocked look.

Giggling, "I don't starve, but I definitely don't have people beating down my door to come to dinner."

_I would_, he thought to himself.

His expression softened. "Maybe I can give you some cooking lessons."

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Oh, I've heard that one before!" Then winked.

He laughed. "I bet you have."

She glanced at her watch. "Oh man, they are going to kill me."

"Who?"

"PT, you're late."

He shrugged and started to say something then remembered the Izzy Rules of Healing and thought better of it. "If we walk around here, would that count?"

She liked the idea, a lot. "Do you feel up to it?"

He nodded.

"Okay, let me go let them know. I'll be right back." She stood up and walked a few steps before turning back. "You're okay?"

He smiled back. He was so much better than okay at that moment as he looked at her and nodded.

Within a couple of minutes she was headed back his way and he stood up to greet her. She held out her arm, palm up and he wrapped his arm around it holding her hand for support. The connection seemed electric this time as his fingers intertwined with hers. This wasn't a touch of a procedure or task. It felt like more and when they looked back to each other they smiled.

Over the hour they slowly walked the paths through the gardens. Izzy was impressed with his knowledge of gardening which he attributed to his mother and her love of growing things. He shared with her about growing up on a small farm and how his dad ran a local farmers market that was stocked with goods that him and his neighbors had grown each season.

"You'll think I'm terrible," she said.

"Why?" He couldn't imagine anything that could be labeled terrible about her.

"Well, I struggle to keep house plants alive," she looked embarrassed and he didn't want her to feel that way at all.

"Everyone grows up different. Nothing wrong with that so don't feel bad. Hey, I'm sure my mom could give you great tips on keeping them alive," he laughed.

"I bet she could. She seems like a great lady."

He nodded, but stayed quiet as he was flooded with memories of home and growing up for a moment.

Izzy pictured herself walking with his arm around her instead of just leaning on her. It almost caught her off guard as to how comfortable she felt with him. Suddenly, she realized he was watching her and she blushed, praying that she wasn't being too obvious with her feelings.

As they talked about their parents he noticed that she didn't share a great deal about her mother. It was something he tucked away to ask her on another day. He rambled about his folks and how they had supported him in everything he had ever shown interest in.

"My dad was the same way," she expressed. "After my mom passed away he became both parents and always seemed to go out of his way to make thngs possible for me." She chuckled. "Even during my rebellion years."

He scoffed. "You rebellious? Don't say it's so."

"Oh yea, it's so," she quickly replied then saw the grin on his face and knew he was teasing her. "You may tease but I was a hellion as a teen, but that's a story for another day."

"I have plenty of time," he said wanting to know everything about her down to the tiniest detail.

"Well, it will have to wait for later. We're back."

He looked ahead and realized they had walked all the small trails and found themselves back to his wheelchair. Though he didn't want to let go of her he was tired.

"Time to get you back and I have to get ready for a hot date," she winked at him.

"Oh," the disappointment in his voice was transparent and it made her heart beat faster.

She leaned down right beside his head, her warm sweet breath on his cheek. "Dinner at my dad's place tonight."

"Oh!" His spirits immediately rose back up.

They continued to chat as she returned him to his room and both seemed to have a reluctant pause when she helped him back into this bed.

"I'll be back day after tomorrow."

"Okay, thank you again for the outing," he tried to hide his disappointment in seeing her go.

"You're welcome, we'll do it again. I promise."

With a quick squeeze of his hand she left and didn't look back.

* * *

No one would know the amount of courage it had taken for her to make that visit. Once he had stepped into Abby's room her delight couldn't be contained. He was alive, he was getting better and that he had found her. Her joy came through in her unbound energy. She was doing her runs in record time. Her apartment was completely unpacked and looked a real home now.

She was the happiest she ever remembered being.

Her shifts at work had only gotten easier as Michael and Abby both improved, seemingly past the worst of it all. Every day she had with him seemed better than the last. He was following the treatment plan to the tee and it was showing in how quickly he was improving.

The new problem was how attached she was getting to him. She couldn't wait to see him and talk to him and it made her days off seem to last an eternity. Even her dad was suspecting something was going on, but since she wasn't sure what it was yet, she wasn't ready to share.

Going to the hospital had not been planned. She truly had errands to run for herself and her dad, but passing the hospital on the way to the bank she just pulled in. Only the security camera would have caught her sitting in her car for half an hour talking to herself as she listed all the reasons why she shouldn't be there.

When she got to excuse number twelve she opened the door and walked straight inside. The small garden on the west side was a little treasure that many missed and it was her goal for the day. She loved seeing more of his inner strength returning also. The man who fought fires without fear and ran into burning buildings was beginning to come back into his eyes. He was smart, witty, brave, handsome, yes very handsome, and though she couldn't explain it she was completely and utterly drawn to him.

There were clues along the way that perhaps, if she wasn't imagining it, he liked when she was there. Her internal manta continued to chant 'don't over read it, don't over read it' and worry did creep into her thoughts. Being his nurse was one thing and here once again, with him, she was blurring the lines.

If she wasn't careful would they block her from seeing him again?

Well, no one knew she had come except Dixie and with a grin she clearly knew that she was on her side through this. She would just have to be more careful. Be with him, but professional at the same time. Keep the lines clear and hope that with time they could get more time with each other. And she clearly understood that was if, and only if, he desired the same.

"Izzy?"

She looked up to see Jake in the door. "Yea?"

"Doors open in five."

The time at disappeared from her as she sat there daydreaming. "Okay, I'm right behind you."

It would be another busy night at the club and since it was Karaoke Night they expected a full house. Her job was making sure everything was set up and ready to go on stage and behind the bar. She also made all the announcements for the evening.

Today had been a great day and the night coming was always guaranteed fun for all. As she stood off stage and watched the crowd flow in and the seats fill up she realized how blessed she really was. Getting the club to this point had taken years of hard work, but now her dad could sit back and enjoy the business and honestly, she loved being here too. That was something she couldn't deny.

The low roar of the noisy crowd steadily grew as the glasses and bottles clinked. The band was off for the night and the stage stood empty as she moved out to the microphone and welcomed everyone there. Resounding cheering and clapping greeted her and as the first singer came on stage the music began to play and Izzy felt like the luckiest woman in the world.


	14. Chapter 14

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

I grieve for life's bright promise, just shown and then withdrawn. ~William Cullen Bryant

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

A/N: I want to say many thanks to the wonderful PM's of support I have been getting. Writing is something I very much enjoy sharing and your support is appreciated. Ty.

This chapter is a bit shorter as a transition to the next part of Mike's healing.

* * *

CHAPTER 14

What Now?

"Well Mike it is with great pleasure that I tell you that it's time for you to get kicked out."

Mike took a deep cleansing breath of relief and smiled back at Dixie. "Thank goodness."

She feigned a frown and stuck out her bottom lip a bit. "Michael Stoker, I'm crushed."

For a flash of a second he looked uncertain then they both grinned at each other. It had been a long hard road but finally he was more than ready to get home.

Chet pushed the door open and came in. "Alright pally, let's get this show on the road."

Mike pulled his boots on. "I thought Roy was coming to pick me up?"

Chet waved him off with his hand. "Well apparently Jenny has the flu, Kanda's at work and he didn't want germs around you." He patted himself on the chest. "So you get me."

Mike raised his eyebrows.

"Be nice," Chet quipped.

"I didn't say a word and thanks for coming," Mike said with a chuckle.

Standing up his legs were steady, much stronger again and he felt ready to get back to a normal routine. Chet picked up the duffle bag as Dixie held the wheelchair for him, a hospital formality that he hated. Pausing he looked around the room to make sure he had everything he needed and for some reason felt hesitant to leave.

Dixie watched him with an internal smile. "Missing something Mike?"

He shook his head and made his way to the chair. Once he was sitting she leaned down to his shoulder and whispered, "I'm sure she would want to be here, but she has been sick."

Mike quickly looked up to her with concern.

"Just a bug, don't worry. I put her number in your bag," she winked at him as he smiled and relaxed in the chair.

* * *

As Chet carried his supplies up the stairs Mike worked at unlocking his door.

"Mikey!"

They both looked up to see the lithe young brunette bounce up to them.

"Hey Kharis, how are you?" Mike smiled at her while Chet's eyes widened to watch her lean in and steal a kiss before Mike knew what happened.

"I'm doing great now sweetie. I kept missing you," she giggled and twirled her hair. "You work too much," she said as she poked him in the chest with her finger.

Chet rolled his eyes.

"Well," Mike started before Chet could say anything. "I'm just getting back home so I'll catch up with you later okay?"

"That sounds great, it's a date!" She threw her arms around him, giving him a tight hug. Chet watched the painful grimace come on his friends face. Releasing him she skipped down the hall back to her place while waving her hand and leaving them both bewildered in her jovial state.

"Who the hell was that?" Chet was past her beauty and now felt annoyed with her.

Mike tossed his keys on the mantle and eased down in his favorite recliner. "She lives a couple of doors down. A bit flighty, but nice enough."

"She didn't even know you were in the hospital?"

Mike laughed. "Well, someone probably did tell her, but she's not really good at listening. She just kinda does what she wants anyway." He looked over to Chet. "Want her number?"

Chet beamed then quickly looked suspicious. "Why?"

"I took her out a few times, but she's not really my type. She's nice and fun, you'd probably like her. "

Even though his suspicion was still high at the easy date set up he took the number as Mike scribbled it down. Besides, she was hot.

Once he was alone he unpacked his bag and took a long hot shower. There was a lot to be said for your own shower, your own TV and remote, and your own refrigerator to rummage through. True to his mom's word, the place was spotless and the kitchen fully stocked for his return. He wasn't sure who added the fresh milk and other groceries, but he was grateful to just sit at home without running errands just yet.

His endurance was growing steadily and as he munched on an apple he held the paper in his hand. It had been disappointing for Izzy to not be there to tell him goodbye, but as he held the paper he found himself hoping she was okay. Also, he wondered who was taking care of her.

* * *

Waking up he realized it was dark and his stomach reminded him how long he had slept. It was probably the most solid sleep he'd had in a long time. His body still got stiff from staying still for too long and he gradually stood up and stretched like a long cat before heading to the kitchen.

When the phone rang in the silence he almost came out of his skin with surprise and picked up the phone. The call was brief as Hank was just making sure he was doing okay on his first day home from the hospital and checking if he needed anything.

Pillaging the cupboards he pulled together a simple dinner and quelled the rumblings of his stomach. Sitting back down in front of the TV he once again held the paper in his hands. Was it being to forward of him to call this soon? Was she too sick to talk? His questions only led him to worry again.

Picking up the phone he dialed the number and was dismayed there was no answer. Maybe she was just sleeping. Silently he simply hoped she was alright.

* * *

"Well, did you have a nice almost week off?"

Izzy rolled her eyes at the other nurse. "Yea, puking with a fever of 101 was a blast, thanks for asking."

"Yuck," she grimaced. "Anyway, glad you're back cause we've been swamped."

Izzy looked at the census and was truly surprised to find every single room was full. It wasn't often that happened. Doling out assignments she gathered the information she needed and got to work. The pace was nonstop all morning and continued without a break through the lunch hour. Watching the clock she tried to keep herself on track since she had other responsibilities later in the day. Tasks she looked forward to greatly.

By four in the afternoon she was caught up and put her patient under the care of a relief nurse until she could return. Her first stop was the pediatrics unit where Abby was found in the playroom. The sight of her running into her arms was enough to make the whole day worth it.

"Hello there my butterfly, how are you today?" Izzy sat down in the tiny chair as Abby climbed into her lap.

"Doc said I could go home tomorrow!"

Izzy gave her a big hug. "That's awesome!" She reached into her pocket and pulled out a cassette tape. "This is for you."

Abby held it and turned it around. "What is it?"

Izzy lowered her voice. "It has music on it, just for you."

Abby beamed. "All mine?"

Izzy nodded. "Yeppers, it's just for you."

A few more hugs later they said their goodbyes and with tears in her eyes Izzy said goodbye knowing she probably would never see Abby again. That's how it worked in the hospital and why the warning to not get attached was rule number one. However, it was never that simple. Every nurse, at some point, had a patient or more that touched their heart deep down. They were the ones you knew would be missed when they were gone.

But she understood how it worked. Being in the hospital was a crisis in one's life and getting back home meant that real life could resume. As it should be a busy, sometimes chaotic life takes over and the crisis becomes a thing of the past.

Getting off the elevator her mood lifted instantly and she eyed the door with excitement. Missing a week of work had been bad enough, but more than anything she had missed_ him_ more than anyone could ever imagine.

When she pushed the door open her jaw dropped and she quickly gasped. There was an elderly woman on oxygen sleeping in the bed, his bed. The woman was alone, but it was clear that this was no longer his room. She hurried out to the nurse's station and without even getting the words out one of them quickly stood up to greet her.

"Izzy? What's wrong?"

"Michael, uh Mr. Stoker, where is he?" Had something happened? Was there a new complication? What had happened?

The nurse smiled. "Izzy he's fine. In fact he was doing so well that he was discharged home a couple of days ago."

Izzy felt an overwhelming mix of joy for him being well enough to go home and complete devastation that she didn't get to even say goodbye.

The other nurse quickly picked up on the problem. "Izzy, I'm so sorry. I thought they had told you."

She shook her head. "I've been out sick."

"Oh Izzy, I'm sorry. He was doing great and they went for an earlier discharge than planned."

She turned and headed back down the hallway and ducked into an empty locker room. It was hard enough to say goodbye to someone that meant more, but this?

Sliding down the wall she placed her head in her hands and cried.

* * *

Johnny, Roy, Marco and Chet emerged from the ER sooty, exhausted and battered. It had been an unusual call, but thankfully the injuries were minor. Hank stood outside with Parker by the engine as the weary crew emerged

"Cap, if it's okay, Johnny and I are going to swing by Mikes place and drop off these supplies to him."

"Thanks fine, just stay available." He turned back to them. "Johnny, you have dinner tonight so don't be late."

They both nodded knowing today was not the day to push their Captain on anything. If it could go weird it had gone off the deep end today. The trip was quiet and with Mike's apartment only a couple of miles from the station they looked forward to the short visit and break.

Knocking on the door they turned to see him coming up the stairs in jogging sweats.

Roy chuckled. "Johnny, I thought you said we were coming to see a frail sick friend."

Johnny shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know Roy. I think he's playing possum to avoid work if you ask me. Look at him, out running the streets at all hours of the day and night."

Mike stood there and let them finish as he tried to hide the smile.

"Think we might have to report this Mike, sorry," Roy said sadly.

Johnny turned to Roy. "Parker's a good guy. It'll be okay, don't worry partner."

"You two finished yet?" He scoffed at them as he unlocked his apartment. "Besides, with the way you two look I should call the police for vagrancy."

Laughing they entered his place.

"Help yourself. I'm gonna grab a quick shower," he said as he headed up the stairs.

Roy sat down and inwardly was amazed at how much progress Mike had made. Johnny prowled the kitchen and washed off his face then poured them all a glass of tea. Within just a few minutes Mike and rejoined them in the living room.

"What happened to you two?" Mike said as he took in their appearance.

"Been a crazy day," Roy said.

Johnny crossed his leg over his knee. "The last call sent us, Marco, and Chet to the ER."

"Are they okay?" He asked concerned. "What happened?" Mike couldn't express how much he missed being at the stationhouse, his work mates, the runs and the fires. It was part of who he was and he had been gone way too long already.

"Yea, everyone's okay. Their back at the station," Roy said. "It was a house fire. The problem was that the family inside the house apparently didn't get along with each other."

Johnny almost choked on his tea. "Didn't get along? That's the understatement of the year." He leaned forward. "Picture this, a mother, father, three kids, two dogs and a cat all in the house on fire. So we go in and find them all in the living room arguing." His voice rose higher. "Fighting! In the middle of a fire!"

Mike shook his head. They'd seen a lot, but this was a new one and Johnny could bring life to any story.

"So we start trying to get them out. The parents are arguing, the kids are coughing and holding the pets which are barking and howling. Roy winds up between the adults and the father punches him in the jaw and didn't look finished. So Marco tackles him to keep him off Roy while she gets all protective and jumps on Marco's back. So then I'm trying to get her off of him, while pushing the kids out the door and the dog bites Chet who is picking up the youngest kid. Marco is thrown off and onto the coffee table and hurts his shoulder. Finally the police arrive and we get them in the front yard where the ten year old decides to start kicking me in the chins while the pets run off and the teenager kept trying to run back into the house for her pocket book."

He sat back exhausted from the recounting.

"So, everyone is okay?"

Roy smiled. "Yea, everyone is fine."

Mike shook his head. Man he sure did miss the job.

"Don't worry, I think you will be back sooner than anyone expected," Roy told him.

"I hope so. I admit to missing the crazy place."

Before the conversation could go any further the HT sounded for the squad and a heart patient. With quick goodbyes said they departed leaving him standing in the door and suddenly with company again before he could blink.

"Mikey, I'm so glad I caught you. Look, I have you some dinner for tonight," Kharis said as she pushed past him and headed to the kitchen.

"Thanks Kharis, but you didn't have to do that." He was tired and in need of a recovery nap, not Miss Sunshine from down the hall. He didn't even really know her that well. She had just presented herself at his door when he moved in a year ago and decided he was her best new friend.

Following her into the kitchen she cheerfully unpacked a pot roast complete with veggies, mashed potatoes and rolls. It smelled wonderful; he had to admit that much.

"This is really nice, thanks," he shyly thanked her.

"Well, when I found out that you had been in the hospital all this time I felt horrible. I had no idea. I mean I've never really understood your hours so I never know when you're here or not." She turned and gave him a big hug. "But don't worry; Kay Kay is here now to take care of you."

He let out a sigh.

Despite how pleasant she was and her nonstop happy chatter he was grateful when dinner was done, the kitchen cleaned up and she excused herself to home. He was exhausted.

* * *

Sitting on the side of his bed he picked up the phone and dialed the number again only to once again get no answer. He'd been home over a week now and after repeated attempts to call her with no results he wadded up the number and tossed it in the trash can.

No one ever talked about her and in all ways she now seemed to be a part of his past.

Her smile, her voice, and her beautiful face had become ingrained into his memories and though he thought she had feelings for him too, maybe she was just his nurse.


	15. Chapter 15

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. ~Author Unknown

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

_A/N: This chapter is dedicated to BlueF250 for making me really laugh this week and reminding me how enjoyable writing can be. Everyone's encouragement has been awesome and I am very thankful._

* * *

CHAPTER 15

CRY ME A BLUE RIVER

Roy leaned over with his hands on his knees, huffing to catch his breath with sweat running down his face. His shirt was drenched and his running partner seemed to offer up endless contradictions for the day.

Mike was leaning against the brick wall also working to catch his breath. The grimace of pain flashed across his features and Roy knew it was time to stop the insanity.

"I'm not sure I can go another round," he said hoping Mike would stop with him.

"Oh come on," Mike panted. "One more."

Roy chuckled as he wiped the sweat from his brow. "Yea, you said that three rounds ago. Come on, I'll buy lunch."

Silently accepting the insistence to end the morning workout Mike nodded and trudged up the stairs to his apartment. His body was protesting with every muscle aching from head to toe, and back again. Getting back into shape was proving to be daunting and often boring.

Roy coming to run with him a couple of days a week had broke up the monotony and helped the time to pass a little quicker. He was determined to keep diligent in his efforts knowing the only thing that could kick his butt out of this depression was getting back to work.

Agreeing to meet Roy at the café down the street they both headed for showers and clean clothes. He had errands to run today and keeping his mind busy was always top on the list. Too often he found himself lounging on the couch and watching TV or even worse, sleeping. It was a part of healing, to rest, but his self imposed isolation over the last couple of weeks was growing out of hand. And he knew it.

Apparently Roy and Johnny knew it too since they were knocking on his door every day they had off now. He was grateful for the encouragement and company on runs. Their support was silent in many ways and he simply accepted the friendship.

The cold water was invigorating and though he had avoided leaving the apartment much he found himself looking forward to getting out for a while. With his mind compiling a grocery list his hand slid over the healing wound before he even realized it.

It was always there. That half a second of thinking your body was normal until you touched it or saw it in the mirror. Then reality would strike like a bolt of lightning. His fingers traced the edges as he sized up the proportion that it claimed of him. In many ways it was less than he had dreaded in the beginning and yes, it was healing very well now. But in many ways it felt like that corner of his body no longer belonged to him. He couldn't explain it. It was just different now.

Getting dressed the cloud of doubt had resurfaced and any enthusiasm to participate in a social activity had waned. When he came down the stairs his shoulders quickly slumped at the offbeat and out of tune singing that came from the kitchen.

Kharis skipped out of the room and quickly wrapped her arms around his neck to plant a kiss on his quickly turned cheek.

She giggled. "Feel better after your shower honey poo?"

Mike glanced at the door recanting in his mind how he was sure he had locked it when he came in. It was an effort to expressly avoid this exact encounter. "Kharis, I'm tired, what can I do for you?"

He knew the error of his words immediately as her eyes became sultry. "Oh Mikey," she said teasingly.

Reaching up he gently pulled her arms back off him. "That's not exactly what I meant." With a quick duck he slid out from under her and headed for the kitchen.

She had pulled out plates, pots, and pans had something cooking on the stove and the oven fan was running full blast. Standing in a moment of silence he took a deep breath. "Kharis, what are you doing?"

"Cooking our dinner of course! " She said with excitement.

He sat down in the kitchen chair and just looked at her. She was over bubbly, over bearing, assuming, pushy, and apparently without a filter. Sitting down opposite of him, she kept her smile, but looked a little unsure suddenly and that left him unsure of himself in a different retrospect. He really didn't want to yell at her. She had also been positive, upbeat, encouraging, helpful, and yes she was here if he needed something. All in all there was no reason for him to go on the attack. So instead of criticizing, he chose to smile and said thank you.

A quick call to Roy explained the unexpected cook in his kitchen and he noted the sound of subdued frustration on the other end of the line. However, Roy simply told him they would meet up later in the week and he would talk to him later. Mike found himself a bit disappointed too. There were some things he wanted to run past Roy and get his opinion on, but that would have to wait for now. Instead, he enjoyed the hot meal served and the upbeat conversation that accompanied it.

* * *

On the other side of town Izzy went back into her patient's room. She no longer had much interest in sitting around and chatting with the other nurses these days and had without realizing it separated herself from the group.

When she was around they were quiet and avoided many topics, but she knew they whispered behind her back and the lack of contact had been stressful on her, leaving her in a quandary of what she could possibly do. She had no access to his records and Dixie said she had given her number to him. He would call if he wanted to see her, right? So, after many days of not hearing from him it was her assumption that what she felt surely must have been one sided.

Thus work continued and she did her job as expected. Those who didn't know her knew no difference and those who did kept hope that the music would soon return.

At the club she worked in the same mode. She kept to herself for the most part, focusing on the task list that seemed never ending and trying to avoid questioning family and friends.

"Isabelle, are you going to tell me what's going on some day?"

She looked at her dad knowing he meant well. A small smile graced her face though it didn't really reach her eyes. "I'm okay dad. I promise."

"Well, I'm not stupid and I know you have something weighing on your mind. I'm just letting you know I've got a handsome set of ears that you can borrow anytime."

She laughed. "Yea, mom always did like those ears from some crazy reason."

He leaned over the desk and kissed her forehead. "I'm here for you, okay?"

"I know, thanks dad."

The days were long between hospital and club duties. Her late evening or early morning returns to home were restricted to scrounging the kitchen for a pieced together meal or much needed sleep. Sleep usually won out the battle first leaving questions of 'what if' buried for another day.

* * *

"I swear Johnny, was that really necessary?" Roy said as he held his nose and rolled the windows of the squad.

Johnny shook his shoe out the window when they stopped at a red light.

"How was I supposed to know the man only used manure in his garden?"

"Scrape that boot on the squad and you'll hand wash it alone when we get back," Roy threatened.

Johnny glowered back then sullenly rolled his window back up. There was no escaping the smell until they could get back to the station and he could change shoes.

_STATION 51, UNKNOWN RESCUE, VENTURA FREEWAY, EXIT RAMP OF HILLCREST, TIME OUT 0915_

Johnny quickly slipped his shoe back on as Roy turned the squad around and headed in the right direction. Entering the highway the exit they needed was the very next one. Pulling up behind the old beat up pickup truck Roy dodged the road flares and parked. A young man came running up to them waving his arms and yelling. As the medics jumped out of the squad Roy stopped at the guy while Johnny moved to the side panels and began pulling out boxes.

"Oh my God, please help her!" the stranger called out.

Roy inwardly cringed with the look of sheer terror in the man's eyes. He began running down the incline, following the man to the already opened driver's side door. The woman inside was slumped over the wheel and unresponsive to his initial contact.

"Do you know what happened?" Roy asked as his hands searched for a pulse and his training assessed her condition quickly.

He nodded wildly as Johnny came up beside Roy. "Yea, I think that thing stung her."

Everyone's eyes quickly tracked to the crumpled scorpion on the ground. Roy was already gathering the much needed information as Johnny pulled out the phone link and passed his partner the blood pressure cuff.

"She's gasping, respirations are growing weaker." He reached around her to unbuckle her belt but it wouldn't budge.

"What's wrong?" Johnny asked.

"Buckle," he pulled on it, "won't unlock." Without hesitation he pulled his knife out of his pocket and cut right through the lap belt. Grabbing her shoulders he began to pull her out and Johnny took her legs as they lowered her to the ground.

Roy looked up. "How long ago did this happen?"

The man looked lost. "I don't know. I saw her pull over behind me and could hear her screaming." He pointed over to his car just down the road. "By the time I got to her she said she was having trouble breathing and her body was feeling numb."

Johnny opened the link to Rampart as Roy got a blood pressure. They both looked up to see the engine pull up beside them. Hank jumped out first.

"What ya got Roy?"

"Scorpion sting. Looks bad Cap. We need an ambulance and the resuscitator."

Marco hit the ground running to get the equipment needed as Hank called in the ambulance.

"Rampart this is Squad 51, do you read?"

"Read you 51, go ahead."

"Rampart, we have a female, around 20 years old with a reported scorpion sting approximately 15 minutes ago. She is unresponsive with marked increased work of breathing, cyanosis, and pallor. BP is 70/40, pulse is 120 and falling, pupils have erratic eye movements and her tongue appears swollen."

"Insert an esophageal airway immediately 51then begin LR at KVO and transport immediately."

The team worked quickly and effectively. Roy put the IV in while Chet held the bag of fluids. Johnny inserted the airway just as her own respiratory effort stopped completely; however, her heart rate stabilized with the assisted ventilations that Marco provided. The ambulance pulled up beside them and they quickly loaded her in.

"I'll ride in with her, "Johnny said.

"Okay, meet you there," Roy answered as he closed the door behind them and slapped the back to signal they were ready.

* * *

"How long til the anti venom takes effect?" Johnny asked Early as they stepped out of the treatment room.

"We should see a reversal of the neurotoxin effects in about four hours."

Johnny shook his head. "That was close. If that man hadn't stopped and helped her …"

Early finished the sentence for him. "You're right Johnny, another 10 minutes and she would have died sitting there. Her airway was closing up fast."

Johnny walked down the hallway and joined Roy standing at the nurse's station with Dixie.

"So how's Mike doing fella's?"

"He's doing great Dix. Should be back to work in about three weeks."

"That's really good guys," she said with a big smile. Noticing that Roy was being quiet and had a serious look on his face she turned to face him. "Something wrong Roy?"

"Oh, no I don't guess so. Was just thinking."

"Well, anything I can help you with?"

He leaned against the counter. "Do you think that Izzy had any, you know, feelings for Mike?"

Dixie looked puzzled at his wording. "I never doubted that in the least, but why did you say 'did'?"

He shrugged. "Well, he's not seen her since his discharge and I just really get the feeling that he's not happy with it."

She stood up straighter. "What do you mean? He didn't call her? I gave her number to him."

Johnny scoffed. "Apparently he called for over a week and she never answered the phone, so he kinda gave up."

Dixie started shaking her head. "No, something's wrong then because I saw her on the floor yesterday all sulking and depressed. I just didn't have time to talk to her and find out why." She turned and passed a chart to Dr. Morton. After writing down what he asked for she turned back to them with a look of thinking. "Do you guys have any plans for tomorrow night?"

They looked at each other. "No," they chimed in about the same time.

"Okay, I need you to pick up Mike and meet me at this address, eight thirty, okay?" She scribbled down an address and passed it to Roy.

"Sure, I guess so," he answered just before the HT called them out again.

* * *

"Come on Mike," Johnny pleaded. You need to get out of the house for a change. "It's time to have a boy's night out."

Mike turned back into the apartment leaving Johnny to follow. "I really don't feel like going anywhere Johnny."

"Yea, cause sitting here is so, well, thrilling," Johnny waved at the room. "Come on man I can't go alone."

"I thought Roy was going to."

"Maybe, he's supposed to let me know for sure by six. Two hours, give me two hours and I promise to bring you back home. Please?"

Mike shook his head. If this was any indication of what parenthood would bring, the begging, then Johnny would have him well practiced. "Okay, fine, two hours," he finally answered with great reluctance.

Johnny pulled up in Roy's driveway and honked the horn. After locking the front door he climbed into the jeep.

"I'm surprised you managed to talk him into this. He's been dodging everything we tried to plan."

"It did take some shameless pleading and begging," Johnny chuckled.

"Okay," Roy said. "Glad I missed that one. Guess Dixie thinks he needs a night out to get out of his slump."

"Dixie as the matchmaker strikes again," Johnny laughed.

Pulling up to the apartment complex Mike emerged dressed smartly in slacks and a blue long sleeved shirt.

"Well for someone who didn't want to go you sure did get all dressed up," Johnny kidded him as he climbed in.

Mike huffed. "Kharis came over and was determined to dress me. I felt like Ken standing in Barbie's closet."

"Seems she likes to visit a lot there Mike," Roy said.

He shook his head. "Yea. She's been nice since I got back home."

"And she's hot," Johnny had to chime in on the topic.

Mike shook his head. "She's just kinda, I don't know, pushy about things. I wish…"

Roy wanted to finish his sentence for him knowing what the man was wanting, and it wasn't Kharis.

"A night on the town will do us all good," Johnny said as he headed down the road.

"Exactly where are we going?" Mike asked as he tried to figure out where they were going from the back seat.

"Just a place recommended to me, we've never been there before," Johnny answered as he watched the street signs closely knowing they were headed into an area they weren't extremely familiar with.

He pulled up to a city block full of shops and restaurants that overlooked the harbor. At the far end the street grew crowded with cars parked along the curb that seemed to overflow from the parking lot.

Johnny shot Roy a glance. "Think we found it."

"Now to find parking," Roy answered and pointed to a small alley on the left, across the street.

After parking they climbed out and stood on the sidewalk facing the club.

"Blue River Saloon?" Mike said. "I've never been here."

They shrugged. "Us either. Let's go and see what it is. It seems popular at least." Roy said.

As they crossed the street they saw Dixie standing by the door, all dressed up and looking amazing.

Mike looked at the other two with hesitation. "What's going on guys?"

Johnny smiled and slapped him on the shoulder. "Dixie recommended this place. Come-on."

"Mike," she hugged him. "You look great!"

"Thanks," he said shyly while silently admitting it was nice to see her again and especially not from a hospital bed.

The base beat of the music could be heard outside along with the loud mingling crowd that spilled out onto the sidewalk. They followed Dixie into the club and pressed their way into the small entry way figuring there was no way a table would ever be found with this kind of turnout. Stealthily she kept moving weaving her way through the crowd and tables until they suddenly emerged right in front of one with Kelly Brackett waiting on them.

The inside was a rustic elegance with a loft ceiling of giant wooden beams, large skylights and striking antique chandeliers that gave off a soft ambient lighting. A beautiful long cherry wood bar graced the back of the room with workers steadily providing drink requests as fast as the orders came in.

Mike saw Marco working his way from the bar to them with drinks in hand for all involved. After shouts of hello and how glad they were to see Mike out of his cave Roy watched Mike begin to relax and enjoy the music.

In front of the bar were tables that inched up to a long metal railing dividing the sitting area from the solid wood dance floor and large stage. Couples danced to a hit country beat being played by the live band under the colorful lights that hung from above.

The man singing had a rich voice that resonated through the room with an upbeat flair as the drums, guitars, base, and piano backed him up.

"He's really good," Johnny said over the noise.

Dixie nodded. "Yea, he's a regular here. He's great."

"You've been here before?" Roy asked.

Kel nodded. "Yea, we found this place about a year ago and come when we can," he chuckled. "Which isn't really all that often, but around here Friday nights are the most popular."

Johnny raised his eyebrows. "Oh? Why is that?"

Dixie grinned. "You'll see in just a few minutes."

When the band finished playing the crowd applauded and the background band music continued to play. The group at the table laughed and shared stories of the day, antics at the station and mostly a toast to their good friend Mike.

Roy stood up. "Mike, we welcome you back to the land of the living and soon at the station where you belong. We've really missed you pally."

Everyone tapped their beers together and gave a cheer. When Roy sat back down an older man was making his way across the stage and tapped on the microphone. What was amazing was how quickly the crowd died down and quieted for him.

"Well as most of you know, I'm Lane Newman and I'd like to welcome you to my place." He waved his arm back to the band. "Thanks to Marty and the Blue River Band."

The crowd clapped and cheered.

"But I know you're not here to listen to an old man ramble so let's get this evening going folks."

Mike sipped on his beer actually enjoying it seeing how it was the first one in many weeks for him. He figured that if a doctor was sitting beside him drinking then it must not be bad for the healing process. It was really nice what the guys had planned for him and he held no ill feelings about the apparently well planned outing.

The crowd had gotten quiet and he watched the older man welcome the gathering and introduce the band. The place was packed and for some reason the crowd didn't bother him at all. Usually one would find him at the small sports bar down the street drinking with friends or maybe a casual date night. Coming to a bigger club like this was a rarity for him. For some reason it seemed just about right for Mike and he felt very comfortable here. The ambiance was obviously of a happy crowd and he like the feeling in the air. For the most part he was pretty laid back when it came to music styles. Country, rock and roll, disco, and he'd even been known to listen to classical at the orchestra.

What caught his attention again was the crowd getting revved up as the main act came onto the stage. He looked over to Johnny, then Roy and Marco who all looked just as lost as he was seeing how they were all new to his establishment. There was no asking what the hoopla was about because you would never be heard. Instead, they all focused their attention on the center stage.

The lights had been turned down and the figure that walked out was obviously a woman. She came up to the microphone and positioned the guitar for comfort. When the lights came back on, focusing on her, the crowd cheered, folks headed to the dance floor and Mike was sure his heart skipped at least four beats.

Roy broke out in a huge grin and looked over to Dixie who just shot him a "told ya so" and from then on the music drew all their attention.

Izzy was dressed in a beautiful camel colored flowing dress with loose ruffles that draped down the center and along the bottom. Her hair was down and no one could miss those classic red boots. Her fingers began strumming the guitar and they watched Kel take Dixie's hand, leading her to the dance floor as he wrapped his arms around her and followed the beat.

The music had a slow dance beat to it and the crowd grew quieter as her voice filled the room around them. Johnny, Roy and Marco simply sat back and listened, but Mike felt entranced as he watched her command the stage with grace, poise, elegance, and beauty. Then he remembered something she had told him. She helped her dad manage his business. The only thing was she had neglected to say that she was the headline singer too.

When that song ended the beat picked up considerably and the dance floor filled up with eager dancers who clapped their hands and hooted in pure unadulterated exuberance. Her face revealed its own passion for what she was doing. Fingers strummed the guitar without missing a beat and he found himself studying every single thing about her standing up there.

After the fourth song she excused herself from the stage, for a break, and he found himself on his feet and walking. Roy looked over to Dixie who quickly shook her head and Roy agreed with her. This was up to Mike and he certainly didn't need their help anymore.

The crowd around him was still loud as the band played, but he didn't hear them anymore. His mind was focused on where he was going and the flaming red hair that he kept seeing glimpses of through the crowd. A moment of panic took him when he reached the bar and could no longer see her. Had she left? His eyes scanned the people as his back was to the bar. Just as he was about to head out into the throng again he heard someone ask him.

"What can I get for you?"

Slowly he turned around almost afraid it couldn't be that easy and found himself face to face with her.

"Oh my God, Mike?" Her voice sounded shocked, exuberant and relieved?

The smile that came on his face would have put any child on Santa's lap to shame. His instinct wanted him to jump over the bar and pull her into his arms, but instead he just nodded and answered her.

"Hi Izzy."

To his surprise she was the one that came around the bar and stopped right in front of him. "Mike, you look," she paused, blushed and hesitated, throwing her arms behind her back in uncertainty.

His eyes met hers and before he could stop himself he was pulling her into a bear hug. It's what he had wanted to do since he first laid eyes on her in the hospital, since he first heard her voice. Since she had captured his heart and never let go. In the packed room no one noticed the couple that didn't seem to want to let go. For a moment they were alone and soaked in the feeling of each other. He took a deep breath and put her to his memory, the smell of her neck and hair.

When she finally released him he felt possessive and wavered in relinquishing his own hold. His hands slid down her smooth silky arms and took her hands. She was radiant and he was captivated by her.

"How? I don't understand?" She was fumbling for words obviously as shocked to see him as he was to see her.

He nodded and began to pull her through the crowd.

"Michael?"

When he stopped she came from behind him and saw the table of faces that she knew, including and especially Dixie. Without hesitation he put his arm around her.

"Look who I found," he said smugly to Dixie.

Dixie shook her head. "Small world isn't it?" Then winked at him.

Everyone else stood up and greeted her warmly like an old member of the family they had just found.

When the music and lighting changed she looked to the stage. "That's my cue. I have to go for a little bit." She looked back to him with a hint of worry on her face. "Will you stay?"

Soundly he squeezed her hand. "I'm not going anywhere."


	16. Chapter 16

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

'Twas not my lips you kissed, But my soul ~Judy Garland

A/N: Wow I had to stop reading so many good stories online and get back to writing! Thanks for all the words of encouragement, love them! Lyrics are Sonny and Cher, _Got You Babe_.

* * *

CHAPTER 16

MISUNDERSTOOD

Mike stood on the front steps and wiped his palms on the sides of his pants before reaching up and pushing the call button at the front door. It was a beautiful day out, the sun was shining and he felt like a wild colt packed full of energy.

"Hello?" The voice came over the speaker.

"Hey, it's me," he answered with a smile already on his face.

"Hey! Just push on the door when you hear it click."

"Okay," he said placing his hand on the door wanting to make sure he didn't miss the click.

Making his way up the stairs he took note of the condition of the building which was obviously old and badly in need of repairs. A flash of concern tightened in his stomach as he silently calculated the as sundry of disasters that could happen when she might be home. Standing at her door he took a deep breath. This was their first kinda, not really official date. Of course it was also the first time that he was picking up a girl wearing sweats and running shoes. Before he could even knock she opened the door and smiled at him, her eyes sparkling.

"I'm all ready," she said locking the door behind them. She smirked when she saw him examining her outfit.

"Thought I'd get all dressed up for you, this being our first date and all." She laughed.

There was no way he could tell her that she was sexy as hell in a t-shirt and sweatpants. At least not yet he chuckled to himself.

"You're laughing at me already?" She wrinkled up her brow and put her hands on her hips.

He quickly quieted. "Never," he whispered.

She blushed and took a deep breath. "Then let's go get some fresh air."

He let her lead. The streets were quiet at this early hour and the air still cool as the sun was just coming up over the horizon. The jog was effortless and he was never so grateful for Roy keeping him on his toes recently or she would have quickly outpaced him. He stayed close beside her and felt the rhythm of synching with her footsteps. They ran in silence and when she reached the crosswalk she shot him a sweet smile that melted his heart.

By the time they reached the park he was feeling winded and glad for the brief respite. She watched him closely, his breathing, his tolerance, and how he held his hand over his side.

"You're doing really great. I'm really impressed."

He heard the sincerity in her tone. "The guys at the station have helped me get back into shape so I can get back to work soon."

She tilted her head and creased her brow a bit. "Just don't rush it okay?"

He smiled at her genuine concern. "I won't." He ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. "Besides, I have a feeling I won't dread passing the time anymore."

She laughed. "Well, we'll see about that!" She took off running through the park until she heard his footsteps catching up with her. Again, their pace became easily synched and for the next few miles they enjoyed the quiet company.

Reaching her building again he was amazed that she never slowed as she took the stairs two at a time and let them into her apartment. She headed straight for the kitchen and pulled down glasses for some cold water. He followed behind her and paused in the living room. He wasn't a neat freak, but even he had to admit the place looked like a tornado had come through. All he could think was how Hank would have a mild heart attack.

"Just move in?" He called to her.

She joined him and passed him the drink. "No, and sorry the place is a disaster. I'm not normally this chaotic, but between two jobs I'm here very little and just can't seem to get it finished."

He reached over and up righted a fallen box. "Well, anytime you need help just let me know. I'm good at moving things," he said with a smile.

"Good to know," she nodded. "Might take you up on that offer if I can stay here long enough to work on it."

He nodded and followed her lead to sit on the couch. Anything to let him linger with her a bit longer was fine in his book.

"Do you want to run with me each morning?" She asked. "Or the mornings you're available?"

"Sure," he answered eagerly. "Do you run every day?"

"Pretty much, it's just a habit I have. It gives me time to clear my brain before going to the next job."

"So you work at the hospital every day, then your dad's every evening?" He was beginning to see why she was never home.

"No, not every day for both. It's kinda jumbled because I work fill in shifts a lot at the hospital. My dad does fine with the club without me being there, but he likes me there a couple of nights a week to sing. Otherwise, I just do the books and help out in general when I can."

"I don't see how you fit it all in, but yes I would love to run with you in the mornings."

She beamed. "Good. I'll look forward to it."

Mike's foot hit a picture frame and he bent over to pick it up. It was Izzy and a woman sitting on the front porch of a house.

She leaned over close to him to see it, her hair brushing against his face. "That's my mom. It's where we lived when I was little." When she turned she realized how close she was to him and softly caught her breath before leaning back.

"I better grab a shower and get ready for work," she said scrambling for her feet.

"Izzy," he said standing up instantly worried that he would make a mistake and lose her.

Two steps backward and she almost fell over a box filled with candles. He quickly reached out to grab her and pulled her back to her feet. His arm circled her waist and he took the opportunity to pull her closer allowing their eyes to lock on each other.

"Michael," she whispered. "I…"

He felt her hesitation and released her not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. "Sorry," he said softly.

A quick shake of her head and she instantly regretted how she must be coming across to him. "No, I'm sorry." She paused and let out a sigh. "I think it just kinda scares me how…" She lowered her head.

He took a step closer to her and placing her chin in his fingers pulled her eyes to meet his again. "How what Izzy?"

"How much I want this."

The smile on his face melted her worries away. Then when he leaned into her and his lips met hers she knew then he had her heart.

* * *

Hank hung up the phone and went into the kitchen area and was immediately greeted by the overwhelming aroma of garlic. His stomach felt instantly queasy remembering the last time that smell came with their dinner. His wife said he smelled like a clove of garlic for a week after he got home.

Parker was busy at the stove cooking while Chet and Johnny debated the health benefits of garlic in a dog as Henry looked on with complete disinterest. Marco was setting the table and Roy was on the phone talking.

As Roy hung up the phone Hank stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "Well, it's official. Mike will be back next Thursday."

"That's great Cap," Roy said with excitement.

"I know he'll be glad," Marco added.

"Bout time," Chet mumbled along with some added garlic remarks.

Hank cleared his throat as Parker put the large Italian casserole on the table.

"Dinner's up fella's dig in," the engineer said with enthusiasm.

Everyone sat down and worked on fixing salad as Roy passed around the bread bowl.

"It's been great having you with us Parker, we really appreciate you filling in for Mike," Hand said.

"No problem Cap, I've enjoyed it. Besides, Cap Morton said the guys were really missing my cooking," he laughed.

The other men looked at each other then laughed with him.

"Don't worry though. I'll fix extras and put it in the freezer for you and I'll leave the recipes for Mike when he gets back."

Hank had to chuckle at the man's sincerity. "That would be appreciated, thanks. I'm sure it will be good to get back to your own station."

"No more than I'm sure Stoker is ready to get back here."

Johnny took a bite of bread. "Not so sure about that these days."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Chet asked with a puzzled expression.

Johnny just shook his head. "You're so clueless Chet."

His mouth was full of food. "What?"

"What Johnny is trying to say is that Mike's done pretty well occupying his time off while he recoups," Roy added.

Chet looked over to Marco for help.

"Izzy?" Marco said like talking to a child. "Ring any bells?"

"Oh, is that all?" Chet looked at them like they were the ones not getting it. "Over a girl? Really?"

Roy pushed the dinner around on the plate while focusing on the salad and bread. "I think it's a bit more than _just_ a girl."

Chet pffted them. "Not like Mike ever tells us about who he dates anyway. I swear the man is probably celibate."

Roy and Johnny exchanged comical glances.

"So just because the man doesn't come tell you about his conquests you assume he's celibate?" Johnny asked while waving his fork at Chet.

"Actually no Johnny boy. You're the king of sharing every escapade you have. Mike just has more class about it than you do."

Johnny frowned and Roy realized this was going in the wrong direction. A direction that he would have to hear about for the next two shifts if he didn't nip it in the bud quickly.

"Don't worry Chet, Cap and I could write a book on everyone's stories if we wanted to."

Marco laughed. "That would be interesting."

Johnny shot a look to his friend. "You wouldn't dare."

Hank pulled out a piece of paper and pen from his pocket and started writing on it. Johnny got quiet and Chet went from laughing to stoic.

Hank looked back up to them. "Oh, don't stop on my account. Please, keep going." He smiled.

Everyone started eating again but the conversation was gone while Roy and his Cap exchanged grins.

Chet set his plate on the floor for Henry to finish eating it. "So, anyone see the game last night?"

"Fine, be that way," Hank said as he put his paper and pen up then took his plate to the sink.

When the klaxons sounded for a three alarm fire all men hit the floor running while Henry ignored the plate on the floor and went back to sleep.

* * *

The man was dead serious looking, wearing worn jeans, a button down red shirt and tan blazer. Mike took his extended hand.

"Very nice to meet you Mr. Newman." His palms were dry, but his nerves were on end. Meeting the girl friend's father was a huge deal to him especially when she was this important.

"Well, nice to finally meet the man that has wrecked havoc with my daughter's emotions as of late."

Mike shifted uncomfortably in his tiny space and glanced over to Izzy only to find her with a big smile on her face.

"Oh dad stop it. You're making him nervous!"

The man smiled at Mike, a soft, friendly, and fatherly smile. "Welcome Michael. I should say I'm very glad to meet the man who had made my daughter so happy."

Mike visibly relaxed. "It's mutual sir." He slipped his arm around her as she stepped up close to him.

"Well Isabelle, give him the grand tour and when you're done find me before you leave."

She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Thanks dad," she whispered to him.

His arm moved to take her hand as he followed her through the saloon.

"We took over this space about a year ago. It was in horrible condition and had stood empty for a long time so we got a great price for it."

He looked around at the details in the décor and lighting. "It's amazing. Did you do all this?"

"Some, but it's been a group project. We each put our own touches into it and amazingly they have blended together well. Dad likes for his employees to have a say in the place." She stopped and shrugged her shoulders. "It helps them really care about where they work and want to keep it up and going."

He nodded. "He sounds like a good boss."

"He really is. I've met your boss and he seems to be a good man too."

Mike smiled. "Yea, we were lucky to get him at station 51."

She led him to the main club room which was bustling with activity as the waitress's worked at setting up for the evening to come soon. He walked up to the stage and leaned up against it.

"When will I get to hear you sing again?"

A tilt of her head and she hopped onto the stage sitting next to him. "Tonight is karaoke night, my night off."

He moved up to her, standing between her legs and tucked a wild red tendril behind her ear. "And why don't you do karaoke?"

"A girl has to have a chance to dance sometimes doesn't she?"

A wide smile broke out across his face. "Absolutely, as long as she has the right partner."

Leaning back on her hands a serious look came on her face. "I think your right. Maybe I should look through my little black book."

He leaned back from her. "Little black book huh? Maybe I should be the one taking care of that."

She sat up straighter, "Oh, but I want someone perfect for me. You wouldn't happen to know anyone that meets that criteria do you?"

He leaned in a bit closer to her. "Let's see. You need someone strong to keep you out of trouble since you seem to have a propensity for it."

"Yes," she nodded thoughtfully thinking of what she went through at the hospital for him.

"And brave enough to face your apartment."

She giggled. "That's harsh."

"Definitely strong willed to keep those red boots of yours in line."

She put her feet straight out and looked at them. "You think so?"

"He has to have a sense of humor to keep pace with your incredible laughter."

She leaned in closer to him. "Keep going."

Twirling his fingers in her hair, "He must love the wild and spontaneous you."

"Yes," she whispered and leaned in very close.

"But most of all he must love you with all his heart and soul."

Before he could kiss her she giggled. "That's a lot to ask from a dance partner."

He stood up straight and crossed his arms. "Better get busy looking then, you have a lot of work to do."

When he turned around and started to walk off she began humming.

_They say we're young and we don't know  
we won't find out until we grow._

He turned to find her walking slowly to him, hands behind her back.

_Well I don't know if all that's true  
cause you got me, and baby I got you_

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I think my dance card it already filled up."

Leaning in to kiss her he felt oblivious of the employees that had paused to watch them and made sure she understood exactly how filled up her dance card was.

* * *

The days became full of routine for Mike. Every morning started with their jog then a quick breakfast with Izzy. She would either then head to work at the hospital or settle in for some sleep after a long night at the club. Afternoons had become about finishing up doctor's appointments, getting releases for work, and hitting the gym for regular and intense workouts. If Izzy was at the club in the evenings he would be with her and on the nights she was at the hospital he sat at home feeling bored and alone.

"Another one?" Jake asked him without expression.

"Sure, thanks."

"You know Izzy means a lot to me?"

Mike knew this was coming. Izzy had described Jake as a family friend, but from his first meeting the air had been rather cool between the men. "Yes."

He was still trying to understand the dynamics between the two of them. Mike was sure family friend was accurate from her view, however, not as sure from Jakes perspective.

The man leaned on the bar. "I'm just not so sure a relationship is the best thing for her right now."

Mike sipped the beer and his eyes skipped to watch her singing on the stage then back to Jake. "I'm pretty sure that she is capable of making her own decisions in life."

Jakes expression darkened. "Maybe you should be sure of what I'm capable of."

Mike hurriedly worked at calming the rising emotion that was working its way to the surface. He was sure that Jake was just putting on the protective 'stay away from my girl' pose, but a sprinkle of uncertainty was definitely present.

"I only want her to be happy," Mike tried to reassure Jake.

"So do I." Jake then turned to help the next customer leaving Mike to his own thoughts.

* * *

Mike put the key in his apartment door only to see Kharis heading straight for him.

"Hi Kharis, how are you tonight?"

She seemed more reserved than usual. "Okay, I guess. Where ya been?"

He took a deep breath. The subtle hints he had tried to gently leave her seemed to not work very well.

"I was on a date."

"Oh," her demeanor dropped visibly.

He felt badly. "Want some coffee?"

She smiled. "Sure, thanks."

Inside she sat and filled him in with what her day had entailed while he fixed some coffee for them. Sitting down on the opposite side of the table he knew he had to make her understand his intentions.

"You're a good friend Kharis, but I've been seeing someone that's pretty important to me."

She waved her hand. "I understand, it's okay." She tipped her cup to him. "Can't blame a girl for trying can ya?"

"Sure can't."

"I hope she's good to you cause you're pretty special yourself you know."

He sipped on the coffee. "Same for you."

In the moment of semi serious silence that followed he felt awkward. Until she laughed. "You should see your face!"

He smiled.

"Don't worry, I'm not a crazy stalker type, but I hope you don't mind if we stay neighbor friends."

"Course not," he said.

"Good. Well, you look exhausted so I think I'll try out that new little club down the corner."

He stood up and walked her to the door feeling good that they had cleared the deck so to speak and she seemed to be okay with it. "Have a good time, just be careful down there."

As she waved goodbye he returned to the kitchen and rinsed out the cups. Once upstairs he got a hot shower and climbed into bed with TV remote in hand and began flipping channels. His mind couldn't focus on what was on the screen because it was drowning in thoughts of the beautiful red head in his life now.

It seemed that they had been spending every moment possible together and with him returning to work in a couple of days he suddenly realized how much he was going to miss her. Even in that short amount of time. Was he crazy? Was he obsessed? Was it normal to fall for someone so hard and fast? Besides, how fast was too fast anyways?

Deep in thought he turned off the TV and the light. And as sleep eventually found him he remained blissfully unaware of the figure that stood outside his window.


	17. Chapter 17

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

For you see, each day I love you more  
today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.  
~Rosemonde Gerard

A/N: You guys are simply awesome! Thanks for the wonderful feedback in reviews and PM's, you know I love hearing from you!

* * *

CHAPTER 17

IT'S COMPLICATED

"Kelly."

"Aye Cap."

"Lopez."

"Here"

"DeSoto."

"Cap."

"Gage."

"Sir."

Hank stopped in front of Mike. "It's good to have you back Stoker."

Mike remained serious. "Thanks Cap, it's good to be back."

After Hank handed out assignments the congratulations began with hearty handshakes and slaps on the back. Being able to visit with him while he recovered was just not the same as having him back home at the station and there was no doubt that they missed his cooking too as he was assigned lunch and dinner for the shift.

As Johnny and Roy sorted through boxes he gladly took to polishing his big red and making sure every dial and gauge was up to his specifications.

"Was it hard to leave one lady for another?"

Mike turned around to see Roy watching him. "It's nice to have one at work and one at home that's for sure."

"What's for sure?" Chet asked as he pushed the bucket and mop towards the dorm.

"That we'll eat well tonight," Roy said.

Mike just tucked his hands in his pockets and nodded in agreement with Roy.

"Thank the Lord," Chet mumbled as he headed out the other door.

The two men chuckled then continued with their morning duties.

The morning passed quietly with few and very minor runs resulting in more time to work on stationhouse issues and savor the smell of Mikes spaghetti simmering on the stovetop. It was amazing how something so simple could cheer on a group of men. Chet lifted the lid to take in the aroma only to have his hand slapped by Mike who thought he might have to guard the pot if anything was to remain by dinner time.

"Okay, fine," Chet whined. "What's for lunch?"

Mike began pulling out the lunch trays which held cold cuts, sandwich supplies and a large bowl of homemade macaroni salad. Chet began rubbing his stomach when the tones sounded.

_STATION 51, UNKNOWN TYPE OF RESCUE….. _

"10-4, Station 51, KMG-365."

Hank quickly handed the information slip to Roy then headed to the engine where Mike was ready and anxious to get going.

"Ease her out Pally," Hank said with a smirk and a pat on the dashboard.

* * *

Roy pulled up to the small house and hopped out of the squad, along with Johnny as they grabbed the basic care boxes. The engine pulled up behind them with Hank and Chet jumping out to join them. Standing on the sidewalk Roy let out a deep sigh. Hank stifled his chuckle knowing exactly where they were as Johnny simply patted Roy on the shoulders in mock sympathy.

She answered the door with a big smile on her face and the men couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Mrs. Dodd," Hank greeted her with a kind voice.

"Goodness you young men are very fast." She turned and walked down the hall and they quietly followed her knowing that rushing her wouldn't help speed up the information any at all.

Roy glanced into the rooms as they passed them thinking he might could get a handle on what happened this time, but to no avail. Everything seemed to be peaceful in the little house; then again it seemed that way last time too.

She went to a small closet off the hallway and opened up the door. It was cluttered with many years of living though she seemed to know exactly what she was looking for. Turning around she passed between Hank and Chet, walked past Johnny and stopped in front of Roy.

"Here honey, you'll need your jacket for this."

Roy quietly took it without any fuss, knowing resistance was futile. "Thank you Mrs. Dodd. Can you tell us why you called the fire department?"

She pointed her finger at him and tisked him. "Don't rush me young man."

He took a deep breath. "Yes, ma'am."

They then followed her to the kitchen, which had been completely remodeled since their last visit and waited as she reached for a cup in the cupboard, which was just out of her reach. Hank reached up and handed her a coffee cup.

"Thank you," she said as she poured some hot water then placed a tea bag into it.

Hank took a breath before speaking. "Mrs. Dodd, why did you call us? Is there an emergency?"

She softly shook her head. "No, but I needed help and I knew you nice fella's would be good boys and help an old woman."

"Mrs. Dodd, where is your husband?" Johnny asked, knowing they had not seen him yet.

She put her finger to her lips. "Shhhh, he's taking a nap."

Chet rolled his eyes and leaned on the counter knowing from memory that this could take a while.

Carefully holding the tea cup she left the kitchen and went to the living room. There she passed the tea to Hank to hold and picked up a men's dress coat and laid it over her forearm. Without speaking she went to the small mantle that rested above the little fireplace and picked up a small pair of praying hands pin and held it safely between her hands.

"I'm ready," she turned and told them.

Johnny was afraid to ask. "For what?"

Her smile was soft and knowing revealing sadness in her eyes that Roy found a bit disconcerting. As they followed her down the hall again she stopped at the bedroom and stood for just a moment before opening the door.

"Just place his tea on the bedside table son," she told Hank as she placed the coat next to his neatly pressed pants in the chair.

"Roy," Johnny whispered.

"Take it slow Johnny," the worried voice replied.

Mr. Dodd was quietly resting in the bed, on his back and unmoving. His color was a pale gray and as Johnny moved to his side and reached for a pulse he quickly withdrew his fingers for a second at the coldness of his skin.

The look between the men was self explanatory.

Roy watched her putz around the room, tidying it up and packing a small suitcase. "Mrs. Dodd, can you tell me what happened?" He asked gently placing his hand on her arm.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Such nice blue eyes."

"Thank you," he said then tried again. "Mr. Dodd?"

That shadow of sadness crept across her features again. "Yes, he helped me fold the laundry last night and told me where the savings account information was." She put a couple more of her shirts into the bag. "Then after he fixed my tea for me he went to bed and this morning he didn't wake up."

Roy's heart went out to her.

She patted his arm. "Don't you worry about him son. He was a good man and will be waiting for us when our time comes one day." Reaching to her night stand she pulled out a small box and passed it to Roy, placing her hands over his. "He wanted you to have this Roy."

The medic froze. Never had she addressed him by his real name and never had she seemed this coherent. He opened the small lid with great care. Inside was a blue ribbon holding a beautiful gold star figure. He instantly recognized the Congressional Medal of Honor.

"I can't take this," Roy stumbled out.

Tears formed in her eyes. "He never stopped talking about how you helped him and how kind you were to me. Our only son passed away when he was thirteen years old from an accident. He had blue eyes just like yours." She reached up and patted his cheek. "It's just me now son and I can't take all this with me, so it would make this old woman proud if you would take care of this for him."

Roy felt his own eyes misting over as he turned to his Captain. Everyone was speechless and Hank simply nodded. There would be time later to figure out whom to get the medal too and right now it wasn't worth upsetting her.

"Thank you Mrs. Dodd."

She surprised him by wrapping her arms around him and embracing him tightly. When she stepped back she returned to packing her bag then closed the lid. Reaching into the closet she picked up his shoes and placed them with the suit.

Hank sent Chet out to call dispatch to notify the police so they could help her move him and hopefully find some relatives that would come to be with her through all this.

She picked up the tea and handed it to Johnny. "Can you warm this up honey? He just hates cold tea."

Once again she wasn't really with them and Hank moved up beside Roy. "You okay?"

Roy nodded. "We'll stay with her until the police arrive."

Hank let out a sigh and nodded.

"Mrs. Dodd, we're going to leave now, but Roy and Johnny will stay with you a bit longer," Hank told her as she passed by him. Mike stood beside him now reporting on the help that dispatch was sending out to them.

"Sixty six years this past May," she told him.

"Sixty six?" Mike asked completely lost on what she was talking about.

"That's right young man, sixty six years we have been married. Love at first sight it was even though my mother forbade me to see him!" She looked exasperated and Roy smiled. "Through two world wars, living in eleven different countries, he defeated throat cancer, and survived two heart attacks." Her face softened and she gave him a smile. "And I was beside him the whole way. We never gave up on each other."

Mike nodded, unsure as to what to say or how to convey how amazed he was at their dedication to each other. Could something that special be in his future?

She patted his chest. "You'll have it too, son. She's the right one; you just have to give her your heart."

Mike shot a look to Roy as she went and sat beside her husband and took his hand in hers.

* * *

Once they returned to the station Mike pulled out the lunch supplies in hopes that the quiet reprieve would allow them a chance to eat. Roy sat at the table looking at the medal.

"What are you going to do with it?" Johnny asked.

"I'll have to talk to Cap about it and see what he recommends. I can't keep it."

Chet began making a sandwich while Marco dished out the fresh salad, but before the first bite could be taken the tones sounded again.

The rest of the day became non-stop and not only did they miss lunch, but Mike never had a chance to finish dinner. By the time they had more than ten minutes in the station it was time for lights out and exhausted bodies forgot about trying to feed their stomachs.

* * *

"I can't believe we finally get Mike back and we couldn't catch a break long enough for him to cook." Johnny stood at the nurse's desk in his turnouts and tired red eyes while Roy pulled supplies quickly.

"Look, it's three am and I'm way past too tired to worry about spaghetti at this point. Let's just get finished so we can try and get some shut eye if possible."

Johnny yawned and with a wave to the on duty nurse they headed down the quiet hallway to the bay exit. About the same time they both seemed to notice the young blonde nurse at the admissions desk.

"Hey is that?" Johnny stared to say.

"Yea, it sure is." Roy finished in a low tone.

"What's she doing down here?"

Roy watched the scowl on her face as they walked by. "Don't know, but I'm pretty sure she isn't in the mood to talk about it."

* * *

Mike reached the top of the ladder and tested it's steadiness before letting go and reaching up to the exposed wires.

"Exactly what do you think you're doing?"

He didn't even look down, but kept working. "Trying to keep you from getting a concussion from a falling light fixture."

She huffed and reached out to help steady the ladder. "I'm not going to get a concussion and this is the land lord's job you know."

Mike kept working. "Yea, I see the excellent job he does at keeping your abode safe and secure."

She smiled. Mike had spent every day off work at her place helping her to get unpacked, boxes carried off, repairs done and furniture moved to where she wanted it.

Finished he climbed down from the ladder to find her standing with her arms crossed and a stern look on her face. "You don't listen very well do you?"

"I happen to think I'm a very good listener," he scoffed.

Her features softened. "You are babe. So?"

"So what?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"What's the damage gonna be this time?"

He rubbed his chin. "Well, seeing how dinner hasn't worked out."

She laughed. "Hey, I never said I was a cook."

"Obviously. Good thing you have me for that huh?"

"Definitely," she said as she wrapped her arms around him and looked up. "So?"

"I think a hot date at the local club is in order."

"I think that sounds great. Are any of the guys coming?"

"Johnny and Roy said they probably would, not sure about the others."

"Well, let's get ready then. I have to get some work done in the office before he opens up."

After stealing a warm kiss and a moment of distraction Mike headed to the kitchen to pull together a quick snack before they left. Izzy joked about not being a cook, but he hadn't believed it until he offered to fix dinner one night and found her kitchen devoid of anything useful to heat even a can of soup, including the soup.

So part of his house warming present to her was to stock her kitchen with basics and to begin to teach her some cooking skills. Who knew that learning to cook in a tiny kitchen could be so much fun? He chucked to himself.

"You're not supposed to have fun in the kitchen without me you know."

"Just planning the next lesson," he said as he pushed a strawberry into her mouth.

"Mmmm, do we have to go to the club tonight?"

He ran his fingers down her cheek. "Don't ask me that, you know what my answer will be."

She took his hand and reached up for a kiss. "Come on, before my dad comes looking for me."

Izzy never just walked. Her energy reached down to her toes and Mike had already learned how to keep pace with the full of life entity beside him. She donned a sexy denim short dress with a white bolero jacket and those sassy boots that he loved so much. Every time he looked at her he had to resist the urge to swoop her into his arms and head right back to the apartment.

She quickly hugged her dad who then immediately reached out and shook Mike's hand. Her father had been very gracious and warm to him since they had first met. He kept expecting the 'my daughter' lecture, but it never came and Mike was grateful to have the man's trust and respect in regards to their relationship.

Their talk immediately went into finances and issues that had to be dealt with which was Izzy's specialty and it was obvious that her father deeply relied on her in that aspect. Jake had remained cool to him without any overt hostility and they learned to keep interactions to a minimum when he was there.

The band was already gathering on the stage and Mike pulled up a bar stool to watch them set up and their interactions with Izzy. They were like a big family here which he understood as compared with the station. The difference here was Izzy. Every where she went she seemed to light up the room and bring smiles. Within minutes the band was laughing out loud at something she had told them and Mike realized they had absorbed her energy for the night ahead.

When she caught his gaze and smiled at him he felt like the luckiest man in the room because she was his.

It didn't take long and the crowd began to filter in. She had disappeared and he knew this was her time to work in the office and she would do better without him around to distract her. So instead he wandered around the club saying hello to new friends until he found himself sitting at the end of the bar talking to Mr. Newman, Dan.

"How long have you been in this business?" Mike asked.

Dan leaned on the bar and sipped his beer. "About 20 years now. We bought our first place when Isabelle was still little so she grew up with the business."

"She definitely loves this place."

"She's a natural at it. The crowds, the chaos, even singing and the books."

"I don't think I could ever get tired of listening to her sing," Mike said with a smile.

Dan laughed, "Oh, you didn't have to listen to her spend 22 hours a day practicing that guitar as she taught herself to play."

Mike laughed with him. "That's true."

He looked closer to Mike. "I can see how much she loves you Michael."

"Well, I love her too Mr. Newman."

"Yea, I can see that. But, a word of caution if you don't mind."

Mike had prepared for this.

"She's smart as a whip, but she hasn't always made the wisest decisions in the past about relationships and she's really been hurt by them. Please treat her like she deserves."

"Of course sir. I'd never do anything to hurt her."

"I believe that, I really do. Just be good to her is all I ask."

Mike felt a sudden pang of worry over Izzy and what had happened to her before to cause such obvious grief to her father like this.

"Only the best for her Dan, I promise."

As the band started playing Dan moved behind the bar and glanced down it looking for Jake seeing how people were gathering and ready to place orders.

"I'll go find him," Mike offered and headed to the back store rooms.

Not finding him he turned down the hall with the offices figuring that Izzy might know where he went. When he opened her door he was shocked to find Izzy standing up, her back against the wall and Jake with one hand on the wall by her head and the other pressed into her chest.

Tears were running down her face.


	18. Chapter 18

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. ~Friedrich Nietzsche, _Beyond Good and Evil_

* * *

CHAPTER 18

WHAT'S A LITTLE OBCESSION BETWEEN FRIENDS?

Mikes blood went cold and something inside him felt primal when he saw Jake's hands on Izzy. Never before had he experienced such an urge to rip someone into shreds as he did in that fraction of a second. It took three strides and a single breath for him to reach them and with a strength that surprised even Jake, the bartender found his back now pressed against the wall by a hand at his throat. With his other hand, and without taking his eyes off Jake, Mike took Izzy by the wrist and pulled her towards him.

Jake's eyes narrowed and inwardly Mike cringed at the smile that came across the man's face. There was no sign of fear, only defiance and it made Mike want to smash his face in even more.

"What the hell is going on Jake?" He said through gritted teeth.

Jake leered at him. "Just a having a little discussion fireman."

Mikes breaths were heavy and he had to consciously watch the pressure he put on the man's neck. Izzy silently moved to his side taking his tight fist into one hand and then cupping his cheek with the other. The tender touch was enough distraction for him to turn and meet her pained emerald eyes.

She shook her head. "Michael, don't hurt him, please."

Of all the things she could have said, that took him by surprise and his hand moved from Jakes neck as he turned his full attention to her.

"Then maybe you should explain to me why his hands were on you like that?" Mike said taking a step back from both of them.

Jake scoffed with a crooked grin and brushed his shirt down with his palms. "I'll leave you two alone." Then looking at Izzy with a more serious face, "It's a conversation I don't want to hear again."

When the door slammed behind them Izzy sat on the couch in the office and put her head into her hands. Mike's anger dissipated and was quickly replaced with concern seeing how obviously distraught she was. Sitting down beside her he pulled one hand away and kissed it as she looked up to him with tears.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"Izzy, just tell me what happened."

Shaking her head quickly she pulled away from him leaving him even more perplexed.

"I love you babe, but that just scared the hell out of me. I need to understand what's going on."

She sat quietly with her hands in her lap afraid to meet his gaze. "Jake's not a bad guy." She looked up to him and saw the instant change in his demeanor.

"From my view point he was being anything but a nice guy," Mike said in a low tone.

"You don't understand it's something that happened a long time ago."

Mike took a deep steadying breath. "Okay, it's something from your past. I get that. But, I do want to understand."

She sat up straighter and seemed to gain some strength back. "My past isn't a pretty story and I knew it would have to be discussed one day between us." She sighed. "I was just hoping it wouldn't be this soon."

Mike sat quietly giving her his full attention.

"Okay, my mom died when I was fourteen and I didn't handle it so well," she started. "I fought with my dad over everything and shortly after turning 15 I ran away from home. I won't go into details right now, but," she paused and seemed to internally struggle with which words to say. "I was living on the streets, just a kid who felt like she had nowhere to go and so close to making all the wrong decisions. Mike, Jake was the one who hunted me down and convinced me to come back home. He saved my life and spent a month in jail doing it."

His heart ached to hear of her being so young and trying to survive on the streets. But the last sentence took him off guard. "What?"

She pulled away from him and stood up, pacing the room. He waited patiently for her gather her thoughts. "I was relying on all the wrong people to help me get by. I was young and very stupid. I mean I didn't do drugs or sell my body, but I can't believe I ever thought the situation I was in could ever be deemed as safe. It felt safe then though; I mean Billy always said things that made me feel safe. It was a miracle of timing when Jake found me. I didn't even know it, but Billy had basically sold me to the highest bidder and the alley I waited in that night was the pick- up spot."

Tears formed in her eyes. "Jake pummeled the guy, nearly killed him. The police came and saw me tied up and screaming…..they just assumed it was him."

Mike took her hands in his as he moved closer to her. "God Izzy."

She shook her head. "I wasn't hurt. I don't know why, but I wasn't. It took my dad weeks to get the charges dropped on Jake and get him out."

Mike thought quietly for a minute. "I can see how he could be important to you Iz, but what I saw."

"What you saw was me and him arguing…. over you."

Mike tilted his head subtly. "Me?"

"Michael, my dating history is pretty much nonexistent because my trust was gone for such a long time. Then when I did go out with someone Jake would go all ballistic and over protective on me and scare them off." She turned to directly face him.

"He doesn't understand that it's different this time and how important you are to me."

Mike got angry again. "Doesn't understand or has no intention of letting go of you at all? I think you underestimate how he feels about you."

She shook her head. "No, I know how he feels and we've talked about it before. It's never an issue until someone starts paying attention to me. And you," she smiled for the first time, "make me happier than I have been my entire life." Her hands cupped his face. "I love you so much Michael that _everyone_ can see it."

She took his right hand and placed it over her heart. "This belongs to you now, as long as you want it."

Suddenly every worry was gone from him as his skin tingled under her warm touch. Her eyes made his heart beat faster and her sweet breath quickened his breathing. Her words voiced everything he felt also about her. With moist eyes he took her right hand and placed it over his heart and leaned in to kiss her.

When they returned to the hustle and bustle of the club they found Jake behind the bar. Mikes gut feeling about the man had changed little, but he had saved the woman he loved so she could be here with him today. That alone would save him from Mikes wrath over what happened though the concept of trusting him was far from happening.

Izzy walked up to Jake and spoke to him out of Mike's earshot. The scowl on the man's face almost made the engineer laugh out loud because even though he couldn't hear her words, it was obvious she was letting him have it. When her dad walked up his glance shot between the three of them, but after Izzy hugged him Dan looked to Mike with a reassuring nod and smile.

Everyone comes with a past; some are just more complicated than others. Mike couldn't imagine what she had been through and this little glimpse she gave him tonight made him only love her more, for her strength, perseverance, and tenacity of life.

As he took her hand and led her to the dance floor his arms reassuringly held her close as he whispered how much he loved her into her ear. The nuzzle of her face on his neck brought a comfort that seemed like not only did she belong there, but had somehow been there all along.

* * *

Working their way through the crowd they managed to find the table of friends who had already downed a couple of beers and were apparently having a fun time so far.

"Izzy, this is Kanda, and Emily, and ….." Mike looked to Chet trying to convey he had no idea who the flavor of the week was at his side.

Chet jumped up, "Oh, this is Melanie."

"It's really nice to meet you all," Izzy said as she sat down with the crowd. Getting to know his friends and co-workers was very important to her, just as she wanted him to feel comfortable at the club.

"We've heard so much about you Izzy, it's nice to finally meet you in person," Emily said as she sat beside Johnny.

Izzy laughed. "I'm not sure that's a good thing."

Kanda laughed too. "Oh, it's all good, no worries at all."

"Nice band," Chet commented.

"They're great guys, and Pete is an incredible singer."

"Saw on the door it's karaoke night," Roy said.

Izzy nodded. "Sure is. Their getting started now. Do we have any singing firemen amongst us?" She teased.

Johnny sat up some. "Well," he started.

Chet jumped right in. "Oh yes Johnny, please go sing and be sure to grab a guitar while you're up there," he said rolling his eyes.

Roy laughed, Johnny shut up quickly, and Mike just subtly shook his head to Izzy as Emily rubbed Johnny's shoulder in sympathy.

"Now, if Johnny wants to sing he's very welcome too. The mike is open to everyone up there. What about you Roy?" She really liked his friends and loved that they were becoming regulars at the club, although this was Chet's first visit.

Roy backed into the chair deeper, his hands up and waving no. "Oh no, even if I did sing, I've seen this crowd on karaoke night and I'm not reading for a beating."

Izzy laughed. "Oh, they're not that bad. You just have to have confidence when you're up there is all."

"Why don't you go sing then," Chet said nonchalantly.

Izzy sipped her beer. "No, no. I don't do karaoke at all."

Chet leaned his elbows on the table and his eyes narrowed. "What's wrong…..chicken?"

Her head tilted just a touch and she shot Mike a look of "really?"

Mike smiled at her. She was about to let Chet have it. "Chet, you really don't want to go there pally."

Mock innocence covered his face. "What did I say? I mean I'd get up there in a heartbeat if I didn't have this scratchy feeling in my throat," he said as he cleared his throat.

"Yea right," Johnny shot at him.

"Look, I'm just saying that she shouldn't be so scared. There's nothing embarrassing about not being able to get up on a stage."

She shook her head. "You think I'm scared to get on the stage and sing?" Her tone was one of amazement.

Chet leaned back and took a long swing of his beer. "Well here, I'll give ya some encouragement." He waved his arm at the stage as Roy, Mike and Johnny exchanged glances at how clueless Chet was being.

Chet continued. "If you get up on that stage and sing something, and not get booed off, then I'll buy the next round of drinks.

"But I…"

Johnny quickly interrupted her. "Now, now, if Chet is so sure that he knows everything then I think maybe you should take the bet."

Her eyes shot to Mike in disbelief "Michael, how can he not…"

Mike quickly put his index finger on her lips to hush her. "I think Johnny's right babe."

"You're kidding me right?" She mumbled out past his finger.

Johnny leaned in close to her. "Look, Chet here is an expert on almost everything at the station. And apparently on karaoke too, so I think you should take that bet." He winked at her.

She smiled with her lips pursed at their deviousness. "You dare me to sing." She raised her eyebrows to Chet.

He looked mockingly at her. "I dare you to try."

"And if I," she cleared her throat, "Can't do it?"

Chet thought a moment. "Then the next round is on you."

Izzy let out a breath. "I just don't think this is right."

Mike looked seriously at her. "Remember how we talked about trusting each other?"

"Yes."

"Trust me. Take the bet."

She looked to Johnny who was nodding with wide eyes. "Okay." She stood up. "Tell you what Chet; if I lose I'll buy your drinks for the rest of the night."

He smiled and clinked their beer bottles together. Johnny leaned back and crossed his arms with a smug grin on his face.

"You're evil," Emily whispered to him.

"And don't forget it," he whispered back.

The men watched Izzy work her way through the crowd, past the few dancers on the floor and disappear behind the side of the stage. When she stepped out on the stage she whispered to the M.C. for a moment before taking the microphone from him.

The stage was empty except for a large video box that played the words as the M.C. handled the recorded music. She slipped the mike into the holder and tapped on it once to gain the crowd's attention.

"Sorry to interrupt folks I know its karaoke night, but since there's a lull in volunteers at the moment I've been, um, requested to sing one song for you."

The crowd clapped, along with the 51 table.

"I know this is out of character for me so just have patience for a minute while I get organized."

Johnny and Mike exchanged glances as Izzy reached over to the band set up and slipped the guitar strap over her shoulder.

"I didn't know she played guitar." They heard Chet say behind them. Everyone ignored him.

She strummed a few chords then cleared her throat. "Okay, here it goes." Then she looked over to the table of friends and smiled. "Sorry Chet, I don't do Karaoke."

"What's that supposed to mean?" A quick glance from everyone revealed the puzzled look on his face.

As she started to play the guitar, the band strolled out on the stage and took up their positions, each adding their instrument to her beginning until the sounds filled the room.

"Um, where did they come from?" Chet muttered a little louder. "Guys?"

When she started singing the crowd cheered at one of their favorites. The tune was wild, rambunctious and the dance floor was covered quickly.

Johnny looked back at Chet's paled look of shock. "I'll take another one of these pally," he said as he pushed the empty bottle to his friend. He then grabbed Emily's hand and pulled her to the dance floor.

Kanda already had Roy in tow and when Mike turned to Chet he was glad to find a big grin.

"Damn Mike, she's a keeper," Chet said as he grabbed his date and headed to the floor with the others.

Mike just sat back and reflected on how the last few months had led him to this point in time and especially the last few hours. He knew Jake had expected him to walk out on her and boy did he underestimate the feelings they had for each other. Suddenly Mike realized that even he had underestimated them. As he watched her sing her heart out on that stage, with vigor and joy, he put everything into perspective in his own heart.

He had plans to make.

* * *

The body moved through the apartment, knowing it was safe to be there for a little bit longer. Everything was quiet and the middle of the night gave her a confidence that she relished in for the moment. With silent steps she proceeded upstairs and entered the bedroom finding the tiny ray of light from the cracked bathroom door was just enough to guide her to where she wanted to be.

The tip of the knife trailed along the edge of the bed as it rode the ripples of tangled sheets. Her breaths were shallow and quick with the exhilaration of being there. Circling the footboard she twirled a bit before putting the carving knife to her lips, the vapor of her breath moving across the blade in its own dance.

Now standing at the side of the bed her smile disappeared as she whispered convictions to herself in low tones of rage and resentment.

Raising her arm, knowing exactly why she had come, she thrust the knife down, over and over again.


	19. Chapter 19

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I. ~Michel de Montaigne

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_Sorry, I was gone for a bit, went on extended cross country vacation with my kids and no laptop to write on. So here is a longer chapter for you and I hope you like it. Thanks so much for following! Let me know what you think._

* * *

Chapter 19

Bravery

When they came through her front door Mike immediately sensed something was wrong. He gently pushed her behind him and put his finger to her lips in a 'quiet' motion. Listening carefully they heard no other sounds until Izzy gasped at the rips in the wall paper of the dining room. Mike went through the living room and kitchen first. When he was sure it was clear he told her to call the police. Moving down the hallway he walked silently with hyper senses as he checked the bathroom, extra bedroom, then her room. The scene made him sick to his stomach seeing the gashes in the bed.

"They're on the way," she said coming up behind him. "Oh God…"

He quickly took her stunned body back into the living room. Sitting her down he could see the wild fear in her eyes.

"Iz, are you okay?" He almost had to shake her to get her attention. "Izzy!"

She nodded then tears ran down her face. "Who would do something like this?"

He shook his head. "I don't know babe, I don't know."

* * *

"We'll check the building cameras for any leads and also follow up with your neighbors." The office stood before the clearly shaken up couple. "Have you had any arguments with anyone recently? Any issues at work? Any unusually unruly saloon customers that showed attention to you?"

Izzy kept shaking her head no. She looked to Mike and could see the word Jake in his eyes. There was no part of him that could have done this, she was sure of it.

"The perfume smell in the bedroom, is that yours?"

She looked up, obviously surprised at the question, as did Mike. They had been so shocked they had not even noticed it. "The perfume I use is in my bathroom cabinet."

The officer nodded. "Okay, we'll double check that. Is there somewhere else you can stay tonight?"

Izzy didn't even have to look at Mike.

"Yea, she'll come to my place."

"Okay. Go ahead and lock up when you leave. We've got your number and will contact you when we find anything out."

Mike stood up and shook his hand. "Thanks Mark."

"Sorry this happened Mike. Let me know you guys need anything else."

* * *

Izzy stood in front of her closet and wondered what in the world possessed her to think she was capable of doing the task she faced. She wasn't one to turn her back on something new, but this was really outside her realm of knowledge.

The last week had been insane with trying to clean up her place from the intrusion and so far the police only had the suspicion it was a female, though they couldn't even confirm that with what little evidence was left behind. They would stay in touch, but pretty much there was nothing else to do. It had been a battle between her and Mike regarding her return to her own place. She was persistent that it was her home, close to her dad and she wasn't going to run and hide.

Taking a deep breath she pulled down the box that held her warm clothes, put away her comfortable red boots and opted for the fur lined ones that had honestly seen better days. Sorting through what she thought was the most appropriate she shoved them ceremonially into her duffle bag and turned at the soft chuckle behind her.

"Don't laugh at me," she pouted at him.

Mike who had been leaning in the doorway watching her stood up and moved over to her. "Never laughing at you honey."

She smiled at him. "Yea, sure. It's not my fault I've never done this before."

He shook his head. "I can't believe you've never been camping before."

"City girl all the way fireman," she winked at him.

"There's nothing to worry about. The guys won't harass you too much," he promised while secretly hoping they would behave for her sake.

She scoffed at him as she zipped up the bag. "Maybe you should go this time and we can do the camping thing when it's just us. I don't want to intrude."

He stood back from her. "First of all you're never intruding when it comes to my friends. Trust me, they like you a lot and just want you to feel comfortable around them. Second, there is no way I'm going out of town and leaving you here alone when we don't know what's going on around here."

Standing closer to him she wrapped her arms around his neck. "First of all, I love you too. Second of all, I'm not a frail helpless woman."

Leaning in close to her, his face nuzzled her soft sweet neck. "Trust me, I'd never call you helpless." He gently placed a kiss near her ear.

"I'm supposed to be packing you know," she whispered in his ear. He kept giving her soft kisses as if not hearing her. She smiled. "Johnny will be here in five minutes."

He stopped and let out a deep sigh. "Fine."

She giggled. "Now, help me finish up."

"Oh I'll help you," he smirked and pushed her down on the bed.

* * *

"This weekend is going to be great!" Johnny exclaimed as he tossed their bags into the back of the Rover. "You're in for a real treat Izzy and the weather is going to be perfect."

Honestly, as long as she was with Mike she didn't really care what the weather was. Still, she ginned at the young medic's enthusiasm. As he climbed in behind the wheel Mike and Izzy got into the back seat together.

"Did Chet ever agree to come?" Mike asked.

"Finally, we're going by to pick him up next. Roy and Kanda are meeting us at the campsite."

Izzy was starting to get a little excited about it all as she listened to the two friends discussing details of the weekend. Before she knew it they were at an apartment complex and Chet was closing his door.

"Hey Izzy!" He shouted out as he added his duffle bag to the back compartment.

"Hey Chet, how are you?" She genuinely liked this man that the others seemed to tease a lot. She appreciated his dry sense of humor and nonchalant look at life. Plus he never had hard feelings about the trick bet they had played on him at the bar. In fact he had become a regular there even if the woman on his arm was always different.

"Doing great, doing great." He hopped into the front seat next to Johnny, but turned towards the back some. "First camping trip huh?"

"Yea, unless camping in the backyard as a kid counts?" She laughed.

Chet rubbed his chin. "Well, knowing how Johnny likes to camp I don't think the backyard counts."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Johnny said with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Where are we going this weekend?" Mike asked with a bit of hesitation.

"Butte Point," Johnny said with a big smile.

"See?" Chet said with a sideways shrug of his shoulders.

She turned to Mike. "Um, what is Butte Point?"

"You'll love it," was all he would offer up.

Chet chuckled and turned back to face the front.

Izzy suddenly felt very hesitant again about what she had consented to.

* * *

Mike laughed. "It's like a puzzle."

Izzy stood there holding crazy bending poles in both hands. "If you say so." She grinned at him.

"Slid that one in and over to me," he pointed to the tent.

Following his directions and only having to start over twice they stood before the up and ready tent then proceeded to unload the Rover of their things and put them inside.

"Where's your coat?" He asked her.

"Has to be here somewhere," she said as she sifted through the mild chaos in the tiny tent.

"I'll go double check the truck," he said backing out to give her more room.

Chet's tent was set up a few hundred feet across from theirs, while Johnny had put his between a couple of large ever green's over to the right.

"Hope we don't scare her off this weekend," Johnny said with a tone of seriousness.

Mike shook his head. "She can put up with quite a bit."

"She's never been camping with Chet before though."

Mike smiled. "Chet might be the one afraid to come back if he's not careful."

Johnny laughed. "I'd believe that!"

By midafternoon the early arrivers were well settled in and eagerly greeted the late crowd. Roy and Kanda set up camp not far from Johnny's tent, while Hank and his wife Emily parked closer to the central campfire ring.

"Hey Cap, where's Marco?" Chet asked Hank.

"Station 110 had two call in's so he volunteered for some overtime. Told us he'd catch the next trip." Hank sat down on the large fallen tree trunk that had become their makeshift benches for the weekend.

"We're so glad you decided to come along Izzy," Kanda said as she set up the table which would become the kitchen area.

Izzy smiled. "I'm just glad I'm not here alone."

Emily laughed. "Oh, we'd never do that to you. That's cruel and inhumane punishment to be stuck in the woods alone with that crowd."

They all looked over to find Mike carving on a dead tree branch with his knife, Hank sharing stories about killing things, Roy leaned back and snoring, and Johnny and Chet in an apparent competition to see who could spit the farthest.

Izzy looked back at the women. "Thank God you're here."

They all laughed together.

* * *

"Ladies, that has to be about the best dinner in the middle of nowhere that I've ever tasted," Hank said as he rubbed his overly full stomach.

Emily leaned over to Izzy. "That's a fireman's compliment."

Izzy laughed. "Got it."

As everyone donned another layer of warmth for the cooling evening Johnny stoked the fire heat up while Chet entertained them with fire station stories. While Mike rolled his eyes at the rendition given my his crewmate, Izzy nestled in beside him and listened with passion as she learned more about this group of men that kept the man she loved safe and coming home after every shift.

* * *

The next morning Chet woke up to some nearby noise. When he realized it was the tent across from him yelling _Oh my God_ he rolled his eyes and tried to put the pillow over his ears. However, the next sound of an ear piercing scream had him up and tearing out of his tent in a heartbeat. With Johnny, Roy and Hank doing exactly the same thing they all turned to Mike and Izzy's tent. Before they could reach the door they saw Mike pulling Izzy out by one arm and slapping his hands all over her.

Everyone rushed over to find Izzy doing the same thing and quickly they realized she was covered in fire ants, from head to toe.

"They're in her clothes Mike," Hank shouted as Kanda came up behind him with a blanket.

"Get her undressed quickly," Kanda said as she held up the blanket on one side with Roy holding the other side.

The air was so cold they could see their breath and all they could hear was Mike's constant calming mantra and her heavy frantic breathing. Within just a few more minutes all sounds of chaos stopped.

"Mike? Is she okay?" Emily asked from the other side of the barrier.

"I'm okay," the breathless Izzy replied. "I think."

Johnny came up with the first aid kit from the Rover. "How bad?" His first concern was the exposure and a possible reaction to that many bites.

"Hold on," Mike said.

When he appeared from around the blanket he had his arm wrapped around Izzy, who had quickly put on one of his shirts and pair of shorts, and was guiding her to the log to sit down. Johnny and Roy were instantly at her side while the Hank and Chet went to clean out the tent.

"How are you feeling?" Roy asked her.

"A little stunned I think," she said while apparently still catching her breath. "Cold."

Emily wrapped a blanket around her shoulders as Roy checked her pulse. He was concerned with her color. She was naturally very fair skinned, but she seemed paler than usual.

"Are you allergic to Benadryl?" Johnny asked her.

She shook her head. "Not that I know of."

"Well, with this many bites I think it will help." He opened up the bottle and put two in her hand while Kanda passed her some water.

"Thanks guys." She swallowed the pills quickly. "I'm sorry to cause so much trouble."

"Not your fault. Don't worry about it," Johnny said.

Chet walked up with Hank.

"We've moved your tent over there, seems like you were right next to a mound," Hank said.

Mike felt horrible for not seeing it while they set up the tent. He was having too much fun teaching her how to do it. "I'm so sorry babe."

She patted his arm. "Not your fault and I'm okay."

He shook his head still feeling bad now that the whelps were showing up all over her arms and legs.

"It should help the itching too," Roy added seeing that she was already rubbing at them.

"Thanks Roy," she replied.

"Kelly, get some coffee brewing so I can wake up the other half of my brain," Hank said as moved over to the fire and began adding wood to the cold ashes.

"Sure Cap," Chet answered as Emily joined him to work on breakfast since everyone was now up and going.

"I'm so sorry hon," Mike whispered to her as they were left alone for a bit.

"Please stop," she smiled at him. "Remember, I can't be scared off that easy."

He smiled softly and ran his fingers across her cheek. "You're sure you're okay?"

Nodding, she put down her water. "Getting sleepy though. I think I need to lie down for a while."

"Okay." He stood up and took her hand leading her back to their new tent location.

After stepping out again Mike found Roy waiting for him. "How's she doing?"

Mike's shoulders slumped. "Real sleepy, is that from the medicine?"

"Probably. Let her sleep some then we'll check on her again," Roy said taking his friend by the shoulder. "She should feel better by tonight."

"I hope so."

* * *

When Izzy woke up the tent was warm from the sun beaming down on it through the trees. In the quiet she sat up and worked at shaking off her grogginess that seemed to cloud her brain. Looking at her arms and legs the whelps seemed appeared to have lessened and the itching was bearable. Pulling on her tennis shoes she crawled out of the tent and quickly found Mike and Roy sitting around the campfire with Kanda talking.

Mike saw her first and with a big smile he jumped up and jogged over to greet her.

"Hey there sleepy head," he said as he kissed her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Still a bit hung over, but okay."

Once at the circle Roy came over and checked her pulse and put his fingers to her forehead. "Think your temperature is down."

She glanced back at the tent. "Oh, it was kinda warm in the tent."

Mike shook his head. "No, you had so many bites that you were running a fever for a while. Do you remember us waking you up to take some aspirin and more Benadryl?"

She was surprised. "No, not at all. You woke me up?"

"Yea, but I'm just glad you're feeling better."

Kanda walked up and handed her some juice. "Here, drink something. It will help you shake off that Benadryl feeling."

"Thanks Kanda." They walked over to sit down while the guys went back to chopping up some additional firewood for the night. "I feel like such a wimp."

"Wimp?" Kanda shook her head. "Hardly. I would have been balling like a baby. You hardly made a noise."

"After the first primal scream you mean," Izzy laughed.

Kanda laughed with her. "Well, with a couple of hundred ants on you I think you deserved at least one good scream."

"Where's everyone at?"

Kanda pointed through the woods. "They went up to the ridge to take in the view."

"Is it far?"

"About a twenty minute hike, not bad. Do you feel like going?"

"I think you should rest," Mike said suddenly appearing at her side.

"No, I'm really feeling much better. I think it will help to get up and move around. Will you show me where it is?"

Kanda watched Mike's protective side ruffle. "She'll be fine Mike. Just take your time."

"It's beautiful here," Izzy said as they followed the narrow path through the tall trees.

"Yea, it's Johnny's favorite place."

She paused for a moment in front of him.

"Doing okay?" He asked with poorly hidden concern.

"Yes," she chuckled. "Will you please relax?"

How could he explain to her the feelings that erupted from within when he thought she was hurt? There were really no words to express the deep connection he felt for her and her well-being.

"We're almost there."

"Good," she patted his chest and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before starting off again.

When they emerged from the trees there was a large outcropping of rocks in front of them.

"Now what?" She asked.

"We climb," he said with raised eyebrows.

As the two sets of long legs climbed their footing was sure and no one stumbled. As they got closer they could begin to hear the sounds of the others laughing and talking. A surge of adreline rushed through Izzy and she began to move faster than Mike.

"Hey, slow down up there," he called ahead to her.

She turned and stuck her tongue out at him. "Catch me if you can fireman!"

His return of an evil smirk made her gasp and turn to hurry up as she heard him quickly making up lost steps behind her. When she reached the top she crawled on her hands and knees for a few steps while catching her breath until she felt strong hands wrapping around her waist and rolling her onto her back.

Mike pinned her underneath him while she giggled. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

With a small shrug of her shoulders she put on a look of pure innocence as he leaned in and kissed her deeply. When the clearing of someone's throat was heard they broke apart and both looked up to see a crowd gathered around them while trying to not be obvious about watching.

"Johnny, I think your diagnosis was wrong. She looks fine to me," Chet smirked.

"If she can beat Mike up the mountain then she's definitely recovered," Hank added.

Mike blushed with embarrassment. Izzy just laughed as he stood up and reached down to help her up. Once she brushed off her jeans she turned to the others and her jaw literally dropped.

"Oh my," she whispered.

"What?" Mike said a bit frantic.

She walked forward, to the furthest edge of the bluff and stood in amazement of the view. Mike smiled and walked up beside her, putting his arm around her waist.

"This is incredible."

"Now you know why it's worth the long drive," Johnny said.

She turned to him. "I've never seen anything like this before."

The woods were thick and the mountain range filled her view. The soft dip of the valley only accented the high peaks that were covered with snow and a thin view of low hanging clouds. Scattered colors of yellow, red, and orange could be seen throughout the bases of the hills and valley.

"Beautiful," Mike whispered to her.

"Yes, it is."

"I wasn't referring to the mountains."

* * *

"We're heading back down," Johnny called out to Mike.

"Okay, we'll be back in a little bit."

Johnny waved at them and disappeared behind the rocks. Mike ran his fingers through her hair as they relaxed on the rocks. He was on his back with her head resting on his stomach. He loved how every time he pushed the wild red tendrils behind her ear she twitched as it tickled her.

The sun shone down on them and warmed their skin until she felt the need to remove her light jacket.

"Are you happy Michael?"

His brow furrowed at the question. "I never thought I could be this happy."

She rolled over and looked at him, resting on her side, over his abdomen. Her fingers traced the outline of his face. "It's important to me that you be happy."

He leaned up on his elbows and smiled at her sparkling eyes. "As long as you're beside me I will be."

* * *

"Thought we might have to send out a rescue party," Johnny chided them as they wandered back into the campsite.

Izzy blushed slightly.

Mike looked over to Kanda and she winked at him. "We saved some dinner for you."

"Sorry, didn't realize we were gone so long," Izzy apologized.

Kanda took her hand. "Nothing to apologize for. I'm just glad you're feeling better."

After finishing dinner Izzy went to the Rover and pulled out her guitar. As the fire crackled and _warmed_ them in the cool night air she began strumming the strings letting her fingers create the sounds that wrapped around them and relaxed their weary bones.

_In the quiet of our doubt, my eyes first found you there,_  
_With heart stopping silence fear nearly held me still.  
Why was it so hard to find my way to you?  
Why is it so amazing to find that you are real and true._

As her gentle words filled the air Roy pulled Kanda closer and everyone grew still.

_I give it all to you, my hand, my heart, my life,  
To guard and love with all, to be the one who's there.  
Take it all and love me, with open arms and mind,  
Cause you're the one for me until the end of time._

Mike watched her with a love and intent that made his heart swell. She was truly the best thing that had ever happened to him. As the song came to an end he stood up and walked over to her. She looked up and smiled, but seemed unsure of what he wanted. Everyone remained quiet as their co-worker and friend knelt to the ground and pulled a small black box from his jacket.

"Isabelle Newman you came into my life like a fiery whirlwind and took my breath away. I can't imagine a single day without you in it. Would you do me the incredible honor of being my wife?"


	20. Chapter 20

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out. ~Michael Burke

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_Thanks so much for the great reviews and PM's, loved them!_

* * *

Chapter 20

WHEN YOUR GUT TALKS…..LISTEN

Everyone has moments in time they will never forget. It may have been your first kiss, or perhaps seeing some magnificent natural location, maybe it was hugging your first driver's license amongst a few. For Izzy seeing the man she loved more than anything kneeling before her and being asked to be his wife was definitely one for her.

In that moment a million things processed through her brain as everything around her faded out leaving only him and her. It was something that little girls dream of and older girls anticipate. Now it was her turn.

His wife.

His.

He wanted her for not only now, but forever.

Yes. The word formed in her mind before it ever reached her tongue where she relished it as if her very life depended on it. Because, actually it did. From here on out her life would be forever changed.

Yes. Even though they had not known each other for a very long time it was obvious that their connection was eternal and deep and somehow meant to be.

As sweet eyes glistened at her on the verge of their own tears she felt hers moisten beyond her control. When he opened the velvet box in his hand the ring sparkled against the crackling flames beside them and she let the word escape.

"Yes."

The single word that let a sigh of relief come from his shoulders also brought a smile to her face as he took her hand and placed the single stone diamond ring on her finger. The moment that followed broke all the silence as everyone jumped to their feet, including them, and congratulations filled the air.

"Congratulations Pally," Hank said as he beamed like he had some personal part in the proposal.

"Thanks Cap," Mike replied in a humbled voice though the large smile gave him away.

"Still have time to change your mind," Chet came up to them.

"Chet, that's not very nice," Kanda chided him.

Chet quickly pointed to Izzy. "I was talking to her," he said in a deadpan voice.

"Thanks," Mike retorted then turned to Kanda and gave her a hug. "Thanks for everything."

Roy eyed her closely with a small smile on the edge of his lips. "You knew about this didn't you?"

She tilted her head and gave him a small shrug of her shoulders. "Just a little. He needed a woman's opinion in the shopping area."

"Uh, huh." He said as he took her hand and pulled her in close for a kiss.

"Boy, Marco is going to be upset he missed all this," Johnny said while stoking the fire and checked on the iron pot which held their cooking dessert.

Hank chuckled. "Just make sure he doesn't miss the wedding."

"So, any thoughts on when?" Emily asked as she leaned against Hank with her arm around his waist.

Izzy's brain was still processing the fact that she was getting married at all, never mind when and where. "Guess that's something we'll figure out next."

Mikes warm hug and gentle kiss erased all her chaotic thoughts and for the rest of the evening she simply enjoyed the amazing stars, warm fire, and being surrounded by new friends. There was ample time to plan the rest of her life.

* * *

Sitting on her bed she flung herself backwards and began squealing and giggling into the sheets like a teenager. Her amazement that the love of her life had proposed hadn't diminished in the least and now her mind was already full of ideas for planning the event.

Now home from camping she was dancing around the apartment with boundless energy doing laundry and even cooking dinner. It was times like this that her mind spun with words and she frequently stopped at the opened notebook on the kitchen table to scribble them down. They might not mean much at the moment, but when they flowed from her she listened.

Mike had returned back to work and she was left trying to fill the empty time without him around. Tomorrow night was to be the night they would tell her father since he was out of town for the day anyway. That was one task she wasn't worried about in the least. The man not only had openly approved of Mike, but had even started showing him the behind the scenes workings of the business.

It never ceased to amaze her each time she would catch the two men deep in conversation about the equipment necessary to keep the bartender happy or the inner workings of a lighting and sound system. She loved his passion for learning and often teased him about being an engineer from the day he was born. Singing to herself she washed up the few dishes that sat in the sink. When the phone rang she almost jumped out of her skin then laughed at her own reaction.

"Hello?"

Like a balloon that had been popped her enthusiasm instantly deflated hearing the voice on the other end. She planned to keep the conversation brief.

Some sleeping dogs just couldn't stay lying.

* * *

"I can't believe you went and proposed to her when I wasn't there!" Marco fussed at Mike though he was smiling through it.

"Sorry, I got caught up in the moment." Mike shrugged his shoulders in apology.

Marco slapped him on the back. "Awe, congrats Pally! So when's the big day?"

"Well, we've not really picked a day yet. We were thinking this coming spring."

"That soon?" Roy said from the table. He had already been hearing from Kanda regarding all the things that they would start working on to prepare for the big event.

"Yea man, everyone knows you need a year to plan a wedding," Johnny added as he chewed on a left over roll from lunch. "You can't just throw something like that together in what, 4 months?"

Chet pffftted at him. "Right, be sure to take wedding advice from Johnny who can't even keep a girlfriend for more than a week."

"Hey, I've had a girlfriend for more than a week!" He started to bellow.

Hank quickly interrupted him by clearing his throat. "Mike, have the police come up with anything from the robbery?"

He was grateful for the change in conversation from his Captain since wedding planning just wasn't his cup of tea anyway. "Nothing concrete Cap."

"Has anything else weird happened?" Roy asked.

"Nothing that major. I mean I've had a slashed tire, so has she, but there's no way to link it all together yet."

"I still think it's that crazy chick that lives next to you. She's really into you man." Johnny pointed the butter knife at Mike as he spoke.

Mike shook his head. "Kharis? Nah, she's harmless and besides she's been gone for the last month. She's working somewhere in Chicago on a photo shoot."

Johnny crunched up his face in thought. "Hmmm."

The day room phone rang and Mike was closest to it.

"Station 51, Stoker here."

"_Well, hello there Mr. Stoker, how is your day going_?"

He smiled at the phone. "Just fine Miss Newman and yours?"

Everyone else quickly got busy with something else while he pulled up a chair to talk for a minute.

"_It _was_ good_," she said sarcastically.

Mike instantly noted the change in her tone. "Why, what's wrong?"

"_Oh, nothing major_. _Sue called and wants to have dinner tonight_."

Mike had stayed out of the whole burn unit mess once he was discharged and even when he started seeing Izzy. He knew that complaints had continued to come in regarding her callous care which included upset family members. Izzy had been forced to remove her from the burn unit staff and had her transferred to another floor. They really hadn't spoken much since then.

"Don't go if you don't want to."

There was a deep sigh from the other side of the phone. "_She wants to get together and put things in the past. I guess with all that happened to her I owe her that much_."

Mike knew it really wasn't what she wanted to do. "We'll just let me know when you get back home, okay?"

She chuckled. "_Are you always going to be this protective_?"

"Better believe it," he whispered.

"_Good_."

_STATION 51, WAREHOUSE FIRE...… TIME OUT 1622._

"Hey," he started to say.

"_I hear it_," she laughed. "_Stay safe, love you_."

"Love you too babe."

* * *

As soon as the squad and engine pulled up a handful of workers came running out of the back loading dock area. Hank was the first one to hit the ground. There was smoke visible through the rear door though no flames were obvious at the moment.

"Whatcha got?" Hank greeted the foreman.

The man shifted his feet. "It's in the back storage rooms. I tried to put it out myself, but it got too hot."

"Is there anyone left in there?" Johnny asked him.

The man looked around and mentally counted the workers. "No, everyone's out. Just workers, the offices are closed already."

Hank pulled out the HT and updated dispatch. He then turned to the others, "Lopez, Gage two and a half up the front. DeSoto, Kelly, pull a reel line to wet down these crates outside. Last thing we need is any of this stuff getting over heated."

The men paired off and headed towards the building as Mike provided the water they would need. Marco and Johnny entered through the large warehouse door that the foreman had come running from. Even without visible flames the smoke was getting thick and black. Making sure their masks and tanks were set they disappeared into the building.

Hanks grip on the HT was tight as he tried to anticipate every possible complication they might encounter. A quick glance to Mike showed he was focused on his task then he watched Roy and Chet approach the crates that lined the storage bay walls.

One of his responsibilities as Captain was to know exactly what the building held. This one was logged with the city; they were a middle man storage center for soft drinks.

"Do you think that will matter?"

The captain redirected his attention to the foreman standing beside him. "What?"

"Well, the owner kinda accepts hold over shipments and we got a bunch of solvents today."

"What kind of solvents!" Hank bellowed as the bile rose in his throat.

"Different types of acetone." The man was now absorbing the feeling of panic from the fireman in charge. "Look, I just found out…"

"Where is it?" He barked at the clueless man.

"Most are up by the front office, but some are in those crates," he said pointing to Roy and Chet.

Hank was already yelling into the HT. "Lopez, Gage! That building has acetone stored about four hundred feet from you."

The scratchy voices came over the HT. "Okay Cap. We've got the fire under control from this point."

Hank felt a surge of relief when there was another man running up to them. "Here's the list boss," he told the foreman who promptly passed it over to Hank.

Hank quickly scanned the list and found many items that were being improperly stored in the building. Then one in particular caught his attention and his heart nearly stopped beating. In the same breath he rotated to Mike screaming "kill the water" an explosion erupted from the outer bay doors where Chet and Roy had been standing.

Instantly the whole building went up in flames as serial smaller blasts rocketed through the interior of the structure. Hank hastily called into the HT for a second and third assignment. A quick visual scan of the outer area found Roy and Chet lying approximately twenty feet from the blast sight, on the side of a huge sand pile.

Mike stood frozen for a split second as he watched his Captain for directions on where he was needed most.

"I'll check on them, get a line on that building!" Hank yelled as he ran.

Mike pulled back the reel hose quickly and once he had a hand on it he resumed the water flow. Knowing which door the others ran into he headed straight there. Flames were now surging inside the door and he focused the water on them. Almost immediately he saw Johnny pulling on Marco to help him get out. Mike instinctively reached out to grab Johnny's coat and felt his hand begin to burn.

"NO!" Johnny yelled through his air mask. "Don't touch us, hose us down, quickly!"

Mike pulled back and began to drench the two men down, along with his own hand. Johnny pulled his coat off first then unbuckled the still stunned Marco's outer coat and removed it.

"You okay?" He yelled to the shell shocked line man.

Marco slowly nodded. "I think so. What the hell happened in there?"

Johnny shook his head. "I don't know, but by the smell of this fire I think it's safe to say there were storing things they shouldn't have been. Are you burning anywhere?"

Again Marco shook his head.

Johnny immediately turned his attention to Mike. "You?"

Milk pulled his hand up. "Still burns some." His hand was bright red and shiny looking.

As Johnny started to take his hand to examine it he stopped. "Roy and Chet?" He asked with his breath held.

Mike looked over to his left and they all saw Hank standing next to two bodies on the ground. He began waving frantically to the others. Grabbing the hose they all ran with everything they had as distant fire horns and alarms began to fill the air.

Roy was flat on his back with Chet only a few feet away from him, crumpled on his side. Hank began the silent prayers before even reaching them that they would still be alive after the impact they had sustained.

He reached Chet first and knelt down beside him. He couldn't tell if they had been exposed to the solvent or not just by looking at them. Hearing Mike come up from behind him he turned around quickly and nodded. That was all the instruction that Mike needed as he proceeded to douse them. Johnny was right behind him and went to Roy's side as Marco side trekked to the squad for boxes.

As soon as he reached for a pulse Roy moved and groaned.

"Roy? Can you hear me?" Johnny called to his friend.

He mumbled then opened his eyes. "Yea."

"Don't move okay? I'm going to check on Chet."

"Mike, call us a couple of ambulances," Hank told him.

"Cap," he answered then ran back to the engine.

By this point the additional units were arriving and soon the Chief came jogging over. "Hank."

"Chief," Hank greeted him as she stood up. "I think they're storing a Nitrogen solvent in there. It exploded when we put water on it."

"Got it Hank. How are your men?" The Chief looked down at Roy who was now alert and trying to sit up then over to Chet who was conscious, but not moving much yet.

"It was a close one," Hank said shaking his head. He knew the only reason his men were still alive was the soft padded landing they were granted.

Marco and Mike pulled trauma boxes out while Johnny gathered vital signs on his patients who were growing increasingly grumpy with all the attention.

Roy wiped the water from his eyes as he looked to the now fully involved building. "Chemical?"

Johnny watched his friend closely with concern. "Yea, how ya feeling?" He finished writing down the vital signs then checked his eyes.

"A little rattled." He patted down his own side and abdomen. "Nothing broken."

"Well that's nothing short of a miracle," Johnny said knowing how the outcome could have been.

"Chet?" Roy asked.

Johnny looked over to him as Marco applied a bandage to the laceration on his scalp. "Seems as lucky as you."

Roy smiled as the sand sifted through his fingers. "I'll never look at Jenny's sandbox the same."

Johnny chuckled. "I don't think Chet is exactly as thrilled as you about it."

Chet was grumbling and trying to shake the sand from his wet hair and then his mustache.

"What's that Chet?" Johnny asked just to annoy him.

"I said that if I was going to be covered in sand I could at least be at the beach with a cold beer in one hand and a hot chick in the other."

Johnny leaned back on his heels as he held the comm phone in his hand. "Chet, if you were at the beach the only thing you would have is a hot beer in one hand and a cold…"

_Rampart here, go ahead 51._

Chet smirked and Johnny just shrugged his shoulders. Hank decided to ignore them seeing how them ribbing each other just meant they were healthy enough to do it and for that he was eternally grateful.

By the time the ambulance arrived Chet and Roy were cleaned up a bit more and Mike's hand was saline rinsed and wrapped up. Roy and Chet climbed into the back of the ambulance while Marco brought the squad in. Mike insisted he was okay to drive the engine in to Rampart and hoped it would put his Captain at ease seeing how his entire crew was going in to be checked out.

"We're okay Cap," Mike echoed the thoughts Hank harbored.

Hank nodded though he remained silent. He knew how close he came to losing one man if not more with this call and it only reinforced to him how quickly things can go wrong. Not something he wanted to be reminded off, ever.

* * *

"That has to be the luckiest pile of sand in existence," Johnny said as he finished up another set of vitals as they waited on a doctor to be free and come to the treatment room.

Roy rubbed his back. "Remind me of that in a couple of days."

Once the sheer panic of seeing his best friend and coworker lying on the ground was gone Johnny was utterly thankful for the fact that firemen seemed to have at least nine lives. He patted Roy on the shoulder as if to reassure himself that they really had escaped that disaster.

"Sure will pally."

"How quickly did you get rinsed off?" Joe Early asked Roy as he looked into his eyes with an ophthalmoscope.

"Within a couple of minutes I think. I know I was soaking wet by the time I came to."

"No more than two minutes Doc," Johnny added as he hovered right by them.

"Well, I don't see any burns; your lungs sound clear too." He shook his head. "Somehow you managed to stay protected from the spray of chemicals."

Roy nodded knowing exactly how lucky he was. The unofficial report was showing Nitrogen Triiodide which is a very sensitive chemical, sensitive to water and heat when stored improperly. Across from him Marco was waiting with Chet who was getting the once over including skull films to rule out a concussion or worse, since he had been out of it the longest.

Sitting in the third room was Mike. It would be obvious to say that he didn't feel comfortable in the least with being back in the hospital this soon. Looking at his hand which had stopped hurting he was grateful the visit would be short lived.

"Didn't expect to see you back here so soon Mike," Kelly said as he unwrapped the bandage and looked at the burn in his palm and fingers. "Nasty chemical you boys were exposed too. Amazing no one was significantly burned by it."

"How are Chet and Roy?"

"They look to be as lucky as you. A bit shaken up, but nothing serious." He moved over to the medicine cabinets. "We'll rinse it with an antibiotic then r-edress it. I'd like to see you back here in a couple of days to monitor the healing."

Mike nodded to him as the small silver tray beside him was filled with supplies.

"Dixie will be in soon, just try and relax a bit," Kel said with a smile.

"Thanks Doc," Mike said then let out a deep breath.

"How are they doing Doc?" Hank asked as Kelly came from the room.

"Well, Mike will be fine I'm going to send him out with a bandaged up hand. I want him back in forty eight hours for a recheck, sooner if it gets wet. No one else seems to have had any significant exposure."

"Thank God," Hank muttered under his breath.

"Exactly," Kelly added. "We are waiting on Chet's x-rays, but I'd suspect he is okay too with all the protesting he's doing down there."

"They are all normal," Joe said as he walked down the hall. "I'll release them both back to work with instructions to come back if they feel any symptoms of exposure, any changes in breathing, nausea, changes in behavior."

Hank frowned. "Sure it's okay for them to work Doc?"

Joe nodded with confidence. "They should be fine. It's a very unstable explosive, but doesn't tend to cause a severe caustic reaction."

Willing to trust the doctors he nodded. "Okay. How much longer do you think til we can head back?"

"They should be ready in the next thirty minutes or so," Kelly said then smiled as he slapped the tall Captain on the shoulder. "Relax Hank, their okay."

He let out a deep breath. "Thanks doc."

Mike relaxed a bit when he heard the door open. It had been a while since he had seen Dixie and at least this time he was helpless in a bed. Being in charge of this busy ER didn't allow her too many nights off to join them at the club, but he had gotten to know her a bit more since he had started dating Izzy. In fact she couldn't wait to share her new news with Dixie. He looked up with a smile on his face which he instantly removed.

The little blonde nurse smiled at him as she sauntered over to the silver tray. "Hello Mike, long time no see."

His body tensed with memories at her fake smile. "What are you doing here Sue?"

"I'm helping staff here for a few hours. Oh, don't look all worried. It's not like you're life is on the line or anything." She smiled at him.

He didn't like it, not one bit and there wasn't an exact reason why. It was just something his gut told him. "I'd rather Dixie," he started to say.

"Dixie got called in with a fresh cardiac patient that just arrived so you get me."

He let out a sigh and contemplated getting by her and out to the engine without Cap noticing. Realizing that just getting it over with quickly would be better he sat still and waited.

She nodded. "Good. This won't take long."

As she moved closer his nose crinkled at the potent smell that she reeked of. Without further conversation she took his hand and began cleaning it with the antibiotic wash. Her hands were cold and somewhere down deep it sent a shiver up his spine and he reflexively pulled away.

"Stop being a big baby," she barked at him. "I swear the rumor about strong firemen is highly over rated." She never even looked at him.

His anxiety started to be replaced with anger. He wasn't a helpless patient anymore and with gritted teeth he carefully gauged his words.

"Bedside manner gets you a long way."

She laughed. "Yea, I keep hearing that. Honestly, I prefer the patients that are unconscious; they give you much less trouble."

A cold chill went through him with her equally cold words. He did not like this woman at all and decided nothing he said would change who she was so he chose to keep his mouth closed. When the final bandage was wrapped around his wrist he stood up and brushed past her as he headed to the door and out it. The hall was full of orderlies, x-ray machines, stretchers and no one he instantly recognized. Looking towards the waiting room he saw Hank standing down there with the others. In a feeling of escape he quickly headed that way.

"Mike!" Marco greeted him with a smile that faded seeing the worry on the engineers face. "What's wrong?"

Everyone then looked at him. Just feeling a need to get out of the building he quickly shook his head. "Just ready to go."

Roy chuckled. "Well, you have plenty of good reasons to not want to come back here."

Hank picked up his HT. "Station 51 available."

* * *

They were all thankful for the silence of the tones for the remainder of the evening as the men fixed a simple late dinner and tried to shake off the terrible day.

Roy and Chet were both moving slowly as sore muscles gradually emerged despite hot showers and the stalking eyes of Johnny. Marco turned in soon after dinner as Johnny, Hank and Mike decided what they would watch on TV.

"This?" Johnny said with his hand still on the dial.

Head shakes.

"This?"

"Uh no," Mike grimaced.

"This?"

Hank scowled.

He sighed. "This?"

Mike grumbled something not understandable.

"This?"

Total blank stares were coming his way.

"Come on guys, my arm is getting tired," Johnny whined. He was tired and sore and bordering on cranky too.

"I think Marco has the right idea. Let's call it a night and get some rest while we can." Hank stood up and pushed his chair under the table.

Roy worked on finished what he was reading in the paper as Chet came back in from walking Henry. Johnny stretched and put his coffee cup in the sink before looking back at the others who lingered behind.

"You guys coming?" He yawned.

Roy nodded. "Be right there, almost done."

Chet simply grumbled and went past him to the dorm door right after Hank. Mike lingered with his head in the refrigerator staring without seeing the items in front of him. With everyone crashed for the duration he closed the fridge door and stared at the wall. His mind was still reeling from seeing Sue and of all things, her being responsible for his care again. There was more though. Something was nagging at his subconscious and he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Everything okay?" Roy asked.

Mike's eyes tracked over to the phone. "I think so. I'm gonna call and check on Iz before I turn in."

"Okay, I'm heading that way." Roy folded up the paper and headed to the dorm to give Mike some privacy.

The phone rang and rang without any answer. Hanging up he tried to recall the last conversation he had with her and that's when he froze. Panic started to rise even though he wasn't sure why he felt on edge. Well, he knew part of it. She was going to dinner with Sue and his feelings about her were very clear now. She had promised to call when she got back in so he glanced at the clock one more time. It was only nine, certainly not late for a weekend night.

Still, something seemed wrong.

In the bathroom he washed cold water on his face and stared at the mirror. When Roy came around the corner he almost jumped.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Too much coffee." Roy offered up a small smile until he realized that Mike was upset about something.

"You're hand bothering you?" The medic in him was now awake.

Mike shook his head. "No, well some, but that's not it."

"Something wrong?"

"Did you see who my nurse was tonight?" He turned around and leaned against the sink.

Roy shook his head.

"Sue." He let that sink in for a minute.

Roy took deep breath. "Yea, we've seen her at the reception desk some. How did it go?"

"She's the same," he scoffed. "Iz called today and said Sue wanted to meet up for dinner and 'make up'."

"Maybe she thinks something good could come of it," Roy offered up seeing that Mike was definitely not happy about the situation.

"Something…." Mike muttered. He again replayed Izzy's plans in his head then his encounter with her at the hospital. It was on the tip of his tongue.

His hand moved behind him and knocked over someone's aftershave lotion. "Chet and his stinking …."

He froze as the potent odor filled his nostrils. Then he knew.

Roy was taken aback by the shocked look on his friends face. "Mike? What?"

"Perfume…"


	21. Chapter 21

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

You can't stand up to the night until you understand what's hiding in its shadows. ~Charles De Lint

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

Once again E! fans are the best. Thanks so much for your support!

* * *

Chapter 21

DEMONS IN THE DARK

Izzy pulled into the parking lot of the little Italian restaurant where she was meeting Sue. Her feelings were still mixed regarding the former co-worker and now many of those old conversations were coming back fresh in her mind. She knew there was a hint of sadness on the edge of her sentiments because she had seen how good the young nurse could have been. However, something, somewhere along the line had tainted her view on the world and sadly she had let it affect her patient

building was fairly new to the area and actually seemed pretty busy for the evening. White lights twinkled in the trees as soft music filtered out of the front door. Sue had told her she was working a few extra hours tonight and would just meet up after work which worked out fine with Izzy. It had given her time to finish laundry, unpack from the weekend, and put her feet up for a bit, which was a rarity these days.

Walking away from her parking spot she realized that she had no idea what Sue even drove. Her interactions with her had always been purely work related and she had never even seen her outside of the job.

The night air was warm and she went ahead inside to wait in the lobby area. The bistro was quaint with authentic Italian music playing in the background and the entire place smelled scrumptious. As her stomach growled she realized the power of the nose and chuckled to herself as she remembered the stories of the stations replacement chef while Michael had been out. It always made her laugh how seriously those boys took their food. The wait was short and it wasn't long before Sue came in with a big smile on her face. Izzy stood up to greet her and they did a quick causal hug as they exchanged greetings.

"Thanks for meeting with me Izzy. It's been a while since we've crossed paths."

"I never wanted things to end badly between us Sue. Thanks for calling."

They followed the waitress to a booth and began looking through the menu. Sue watched her closely and Izzy could feel the edge of unease between them in the lingering silence. It wasn't hostile, just not exactly friendly.

"So what have you been up to these days?" Izzy asked in an effort to break the quiet.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Working mostly. What about you?"

It was obvious the conversation would turn to the weather soon. Clearly they had little in common and what had happened at the hospital was still an issue between them and Izzy was now feeling the pangs of regret for agreeing to come. She avoided the references to work when possible and tried to encourage the idle and useless chat. At least it was safe, for a while.

"Post op huh? How's that going?" Izzy already knew that was where Sue went from the burn unit.

Sue smirked. "Oh, I hated it down there. Talk about whining patients." She rolled her eyes as she took a bite of garlic bread.

Izzy wasn't sure what to say especially seeing how her attitude apparently had not changed since their last interactions. "Sorry to hear that."

The hand waved her off. "I'm in the ER now."

Izzy was visibly surprised. Dixie hadn't said a word to her about any such transfer. "ER? I didn't realize they were short staffed."

Clearly Sue understood the tone and crinkled up her nose. "Mostly boring behind the desk."

Izzy subdued her grin. Desk huh? Then she realized Sue was staring at her ring and she suddenly found herself feeling self-conscious about it.

"Nice ring, do I have to even ask who the lucky fella is?" The sarcastic tone is her voice was obvious.

Now Izzy felt very uncomfortable and without even realizing it she pulled her hand to her lap.

Sue laughed harshly. "God Izzy, you're such a hypocrite. You preach to me about how to treat patients while you're off sleeping with them and getting wedding rings."

Her heart skipped a beat as the food was placed before them and found that her appetite had completely vanished. Gritting her teeth together she carefully spoke. "The last thing I am is a hypocrite. I never hid my feelings about Michael. You were the one sneaking behind my back reporting me when it was none of your business." She leaned on the table. "What's wrong Sue? Upset that he chose me over you?"

Eyes narrowed and the air between them turned cold. Izzy stood up and pushed her chair back under the table. "We have nothing else to discuss Sue. I think it's all been said already. I suggest you move on with your life and stop hating everyone else for your choices."

Sue leered at her. "Well, I see this didn't go as planned. I thought we could at least have a meal without him being in the conversation."

Izzy shook her head and felt an urgent need to get out of there. "Goodbye Sue."

The parking lot was empty as she rushed to her car and all she could think about was getting to Michael. Knowing he was at work made no difference at all. The encounter with Sue had left her shaken and silently she kicked herself for not listening to her gut instincts in the first place.

"Damn," she cursed as she dropped her keys. When she bent down to get them there were feet in her view.

* * *

"You don't think Sue could have done that do you?" Roy asked the pacing man though he now found himself on edge.

Mike ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know Roy, but I do know that's the perfume from that night."

Roy knew Mike was not one to overreact and the growing panic that came from him was setting off his own silent alarms. "Call the police. I'll wake up the others."

Mike ran to the day room while Roy headed to the dorms. Within minutes all the men were awake and had joined Mike as he hung up the phone.

"What'd they say?" Hank asked.

"They're going to Izzy's place to try and find her." Mike sat down heavily in the nearest chair then looked up at Hank. "I can't just sit here."

Hank had already been thinking about what his options were and hating how limited they were until end of shift. Not a man standing there would refuse to help their friend, but they had no idea where to start.

"What else do they plan on doing?" Johnny asked with a frustrated tone.

"I told them to check with the hospital for information about her and their sending someone here too."

Hank nodded. "Good, then for the moment we wait until they come. Marco, get us some coffee going pally."

"Aye Cap."

Mike stood up and went into the bay. Roy found him sitting at the back of the engine.

"We'll find her."

He looked up with lost eyes. "I don't know what I'll do if she's not okay. Just sitting here is killing me."

"I know pally, I know."

Roy simply sat down with him and waited.

"We have a patrol car at Izzy's place and Sue's right now. Do you have any idea where they were meeting up?" The officer asked Mike.

Mike shook his head. "No, she just said they were going to have dinner."

The officer's radio squawked with abbreviated lingo that no one was sure of. He picked it up and listened closely then replied back with a 10-4.

"No one is at home either place. We're patrolling the area, but with nothing stronger to go on right now." His voice drifted off knowing it wasn't what Mike wanted to hear.

Mike looked at the clock. "She said she would call." It was now well after midnight.

Chet filled up his coffee cup offering up only a pat on the shoulder in support. Marco leaned against the kitchen counter for up silent prayers for both Mike and Izzy. Johnny and Roy sat at the table in the anguishing quietness that seemed to swallow them all up.

The minutes of waiting turned into the next hour and the next. Hank was so sick of looking at the clock he contemplated taking it down altogether in an effort to save some of their sanity. Marco managed to scrounge through the refridge and pulled out some leftovers for anyone that was hungry though the food was only picked at. Chet focused on keeping the coffee cups refilled, it at least felt like he was doing something productive. Johnny couldn't stand not doing anything so he pulled the boxes out of the squad and counted the stock over and over.

Hank and Roy kept their eye on the engineer that couldn't sit still and looked on the verge of running for the door with every turn. If anyone questioned the man's love that skepticism was now forever erased.

When the tones sounded they all about jumped out of their pants.

_STATION 51, STRUCTURE FIRE, BLUE RIVER SALOON….TIME OUT 0231. BE ADVISED THAT POLICE ARE ON THE SCENE_.

Their hearts were in their throats and Hank shot his eyes to Mike, questioning if he could even safely get them there in his condition.

Mike got behind the wheel. "I can do this Cap. I have to do this."

"She needs you there in one piece pally, just get us there safely."

Mike nodded. The squad had already pulled out and disappeared into the night with an anticipation that had taken everyone's breath away.

"Geez Sue, you scared the living daylights out of me," Izzy said as she picked up her keys off the ground.

"Terribly sorry. Just walking by and figured you might need a ride," she said as she pointed to Izzy's back tire which was flat as a pancake.

Izzy bent down by the tire. "Great." Her luck on tires had been horrible in the last few weeks and this happened to be the one time there was no spare replacement yet.

"I can give you ride."

Izzy stood up and leaned against her car. "I'll go in and call Mike, thanks though."

"He's at work tonight and exactly where would you sit on the fire engine?" Sue raised her eyebrows.

Izzy looked around the still empty lot. "How do you know that?"

She reached into her purse and fished around for her keys. "Oh, the whole crew came into the ER tonight following a fire. Not very lucky are they?"

Her heart beat quickened. "He was hurt?"

"Burned again. They never learn do they?"

Izzy felt nauseated and started walking back towards the front door until she felt a hand on her arm.

"Oh Izzy, stop. He's fine and already back at work."

She stopped but didn't turn around. "What do you want from me Sue?"

"Nothing major Iz."

Turning around Izzy found Sue smiling at her. "Just spit it out so I can go."

"Come on. I'll give you a ride home and we can talk about it some more."

The debate was so loud in Izzy's head she couldn't hear the music anymore. She hated it, but Sue was right. It wasn't like he could hop in his car and come get her, plus her dad was still out of town. She thought about calling Jake, but since the encounter between her, him and Michael, things had been fairly cool and she wasn't sure if she had the energy for two battles in one night.

With a deep sigh she climbed into the passenger seat of Sue's pick up truck and closed the door. Looking at her watch she was surprised at how late it already was. Knowing that he wouldn't be staying up late at the station she made a mental note to call him as soon as she could so he wouldn't worry about her.

The drive was quiet, well silent actually. Sue rolled down the window and the warm breeze tossed their hair around in the cab. Eventually Sue popped in an 8 track and cranked up the music. Izzy silently scowled in the dark at her choice.

_Never forget the sound that night  
The cryin' tires, the bustin' glass  
The painful scream that I heard last_

"Such a sad song," Sue said without looking over to the passenger seat.

Izzy listened closely as she tried to remember the song. "I guess so."

"Just shows how quickly things can change," she continued.

"It's just a song," Izzy now knew the song. It was about a car crash with young lovers inside.

"Young love that dies, you don't find that sad?"

Izzy was growing uncomfortable now.

Sue sang along with robust energy.

Izzy looked up and was never so thankful to see the saloon in her view as the song came to its close. "Just drop me off at the door."

Instead of listening she pulled into the back driveway which circled around to the rear employee entrance. "I'd like a drink, how about you?"

"Sue the club is closed."

Ignoring her she climbed out of the driver's seat and closed the door. "Remember, we're not finished with our talk."

Sue wanted something from her or maybe even from Michael and until she finished playing the little game she knew this wouldn't come to a close. Unlocking the back door she reached in and turned on the hall lights as Sue moved past her. Relocking the door she side stepped past her and headed to the main floor where she flipped a couple of switches behind the bar that turned on some of the lights.

Izzy moved behind the bar and pulled out a couple of glasses. "What would you like?"

Climbing on a barstool she crossed her legs and leaned against the wooden bar. "Martini please."

Izzy pulled out the gin and vermouth then reached into the cooler for a couple of olives. Mixing the drinks without even thinking about what she was doing seemed to capture Sue's attention for a few minutes and she remained silent.

Once she pushed the drinks to the edge of the bar she came around and sat down beside the bubbly blonde.

"I just love this place, has such a rustic feeling to it," Sue said as she sipped the drink. When she sat the drink down she pulled out some lipstick and freshened up with a dab of blush followed by a spritz of spray.

Izzy waited patiently knowing that rushing her would only let Sue know she was in control. Her nose crinkled at the smell in the air.

"Want some? It's the only brand I buy."

Izzy shook her head while trying to not roll her eyes at the woman. "There was something you wanted?"

Sue quickly put her cosmetic items away and turned back towards her. "My job back."

To say that Izzy was surprised at the blatant request would be putting it mildly. Was she serious? Was she insane?

"Sue, I don't have any say in that anymore. You'd have to talk to Jeanie in personnel."

She rifled through her purse again. "No, I want you to do it Iz."

Ugh. She hated being called that by anyone other than her dad or Michael. From Sue's lips it was more like a demeaning pet name. She shook her head. "I can't and I won't. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it. There's nothing I can do."

Her face flashed with a shimmer of remorse which was quickly replaced with a smile that sent a shiver down Izzy's spine. She leaned in towards Izzy. "I think you underestimate me Iz. Not a very wise thing to do."

Again she was assaulted by the overpowering cologne. Only this time it triggered a memory and she froze. Calculating how far she was from the phone behind the bar she picked up her drink and casually stood up.

"I go back to work Tuesday and I'll look at the schedule." She spoke as she sauntered around the back of the bar again. Picking up the shaker of residual drink she topped off their glasses and leaned down to stick it under the counter. When she did she took the phone off the hook and began to dial it.

"What are you doing?"

Izzy stood back up. "Just cleaning up or my dad will have a fit that we were here after hours."

Sue sat back down though she now looked on guard. "You'll put me on the schedule?"

Izzy nodded. "I should be able too. Melanie is still out on maternity leave so we are short staffed."

The young blonde stood up and began to come around the bar towards Izzy. She quickly tossed a hand towel over the phone.

"You think you're so smart don't you?"

Her hands were shaking now. "I don't know what you're talking about Sue."

The woman was now moving towards her at a faster pace, her steps deliberate and with force. Before Izzy could even realize what she was doing Sue turned to the left and extended her leg. The impact to Izzy's chest was instant and overwhelming. Hitting the floor she struggled to suck in the next breath and hold onto consciousness. As darkness took her she feared exactly what Sue might be capable of.

The first feeling she encountered was the sensation of being pulled by her feet, her head dragging against the cold concrete floor. When her eyes peeked open she saw the back of Sue, holding her feet, as she pulled her down the back hallway and into her office. Her chest hurt, but breathing was at least possible now. She quickly closed her eyes back as Sue stopped and let her feet fall to the ground in a thud.

"Put me on the schedule. I'm not that stupid Iz. No, I'm not. Think you can just lie to me? Of course you can, you lied about me to everyone so what's another little lie to you?"

As she talked Izzy could hear her moving around the room and the sound of something sloshing. She was afraid to peek and get caught so she remained silent and waited.

The next thing she remembered was the smell. Only this time it was one thing she feared more than anything. It was something that had taken her innocent childhood away and stole her mother. Fire. It took conscious effort to push her eyes open and as she rolled to her side she started coughing from the smoke in the room. Rapidly getting her wits about her she managed to get to her feet and with horror realized that Sue had set her office on fire. Running back towards the bar she quickly dialed the fire department and grabbed the nearest fire extinguisher she could find. Returning to the office she worked at trying to get control of the blaze that was growing rapidly. Panic filled her as she realized her father could lose everything in the next few minutes.

The smoke was too much. Her eyes were burning and she was coughing so much she couldn't focus on the flames. Then her mind cleared enough for her next goal. Keeping the extinguisher in her hand she ran down the back hall and pushed open the door.

Sue was standing by the truck and pulling out her keys. Izzy didn't stop to think or plan, she simply kept going. By the time she reached Sue the woman was just hearing her approach and turning around. Before she could even get an arm up Izzy swung the extinguisher around her side and right into Sue's abdomen. With her crumpled over in half Izzy kept going and body slammed her to the ground.

Rage filled her and she was ready to keep fighting, but Sue was knocked out. When she looked up the smoke coming from the building sent her into tears. Getting to her feet she ran back to the door and disappeared into the smoke.

* * *

***_J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers- Last Kiss (1964)_


	22. Chapter 22

En t

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

There's such a thin line between winning and losing. ~John R. Tunis

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

* * *

Chapter 22

Changing Futures

Emotions ran tense. As sirens blared through the night each man silently reflected on where this had all started, the day they almost lost their friend. For Mike apprehension coursed through him with such intensity that he had to still the sensation of nausea. Glances from Hank were a mix of support and worry. However, he couldn't help how he felt. Izzy was missing, Sue was involved, and now as they approached the building it took everything he had inside him to remain still and look to his Captain for directions.

Hank instantly surveyed the situation. Police were already on scene and working at directing the small amount of early morning traffic and onlookers. From the outside the building appeared peaceful compared to its usual rambunctiousness. He slid out of the engine quickly and met the first officer he reached.

"What do we have?"

"We think the fires out, but we're seeing some smoke inside and there's a woman down towards the back that needs help." The man waved his hand towards the rear of the building.

Hank turned quickly. "Gage, DeSoto, victim towards the back. Kelly, Lopez, fire is reported as out. Let's pull a line and get that smoke under control." His eyes met Mikes. "Let's do our job."

Mike watched as the squad left the street, pulling out of view and rounding the building. Releasing a big breath he turned his attention to the dials. It was important that he do everything possible to save the saloon for Izzy and her dad. For the moment, this was his task and he couldn't allow himself to think about what Johnny and Roy would find.

The first thing visible were numerous police cars and a single pickup truck. Roy's eyes scanned the area praying to see the feisty red head, but it didn't happen. They hopped out of the squad and with silence pulled the needed boxes. Neither wanted to even verbalize what they most feared for their friend.

Meeting them quickly Officer Vince Howard pointed past the crowd. "She's over here fellas, looks like she might have a concussion."

Their eyes met briefly then focused on what they needed to do. Jogging through the cars they passed the truck and found Sue sitting on the ground with an officer holding a towel to the back of her head. Roy hesitated for a fraction of a second. He was disappointed that it wasn't Izzy; he was relieved that it wasn't Izzy, and he was now afraid of the lack of Izzy. Johnny's face remained stern and business like though Roy was sure the same concerns raced through his mind.

Sue didn't even make eye contact with them, holding her head down and averting their gazes. Johnny knelt beside her and took the towel from the officer. Pulling it back he inspected the wound and the amount of blood loss. Roy put a blood pressure cuff around her restrained arm without asking for the cuff's to be released. It was something that he might normally do, to make the assessment easier, but not now, not with her.

"BP 130/80, pulse 85, respirations 18," Roy reported to Johnny who was already on the com with Rampart. She was stable and he knew one of them needed to go. "Johnny? You got this?"

He looked to the building then to his partner knowing what Roy wanted to do; to find Izzy.

"Go."

Roy got up and with a nod disappeared into the thick of controlled chaos.

Marco and Chet pulled the line into the building. The men were running on pure adrenaline from lack of sleep and deep concern as they entered the main business doors. They had both been here before; enough times to call it a regular hang out now. Only this time the reason was heart rending.

As they passed the main room and rounded the corner they entered the hallway where the smoke was filtering from though it wasn't nearly as much as had been expected. The office desk was partially torched. Blackened and now soggy wet from the overhead sprinklers the carpet squished in the silence under their boots. Burnt pictures on the charred desk had fallen over with the faces no longer recognizable in them. The flames had not consumed the entire room, but it was enough that the entire building could have been lost.

Doing their job they doused the room and cooled the burning embers. When finished Chet reached down and picked up an expelled fire extinguisher and looked at Marco with the unspoken question that raced through his mind.

Marco turned to find Hank standing behind him.

"Under control Cap," Kelly reported. "I think someone was here before us making sure this fire didn't get out of control."

Marco held up the used fire extinguisher as Hank bent down to pick up one of the many empty liquor bottles. Cause of fire was obvious, arson. Hank called in the all clear over the HT and knew the next need was to see how Roy and Johnny were doing.

Mike watched everyone leave the engine then disappear either into the building or around behind it. Being left there was just about more than he could take, his stomach was in a knot and his heart seemed to race in his chest. His ears were glued to the HT, waiting for that magical alert to what he so desperately needed to hear. When the all clear came one concern was gone, his co-workers were safe and the fire was now out, meaning the building was also saved. But there was no release in tension and without realizing it his feet began moving towards the building.

Roy entered the building through the rear entrance which was standing wide open and with the HT reporting the fire was out officers were now entering also. He quickly found the others.

"Roy?" Hank asked hesitatingly.

He shook his head. "It's Sue. The police have her in custody. Johnny's with her." His eyes darted around the charred room. "No sign of her?"

This time Hank had to reply in the negative. "Haven't seen her. Let's see what's going on."

As they left the hallway and entered the main room it was much more crowded at this point. Police had come in, some in uniform and a couple in plain clothes which usually meant detectives. Their eyes scanned the room, for any sign of the single person they sought. Suddenly, an officer ran from behind the curtains of the back stage motioning for them to follow him as he called out for the medic. His sense of urgency sent a thrill of fear through them all.

Hank turned to see Mike coming in the door and knew that the unknown was not what he needed to walk into at that point. Signaling for the pair to go ahead he turned to stop the engineer. Mike had seen the call for help and Hank found himself having to physically restrain the man.

His voice got low. "Mike, let them do their job."

"What if she's hurt?" His eyes pleaded to his friend.

"All the more reason to let them work," Hank patted the engineer's chest. "They'll let us know as soon as they can."

Seeing the rising rebellion in his eyes Hank began to gently, but firmly press Mike back towards the door and out into the darkness. When they reached the engine he pushed down on his shoulders to make him sit. With a resigned sigh Mike leaned against Big Red, pulled off his helmet and ran his fingers through his hair.

Roy ran to the side of the stage and up the few steps. The officer didn't pause and disappeared behind the old heavy burgundy curtain. Pushing it back he followed him into a tiny backstage area which was cluttered with band equipment and extra speakers. A couple of other officers were already there. One was down on his needs and the first thing Roy saw were red boots. Hearing Johnny run up behind him he glanced back quickly and took one of the boxes from him. His eyes flashed to Johnny's and the worst case scenario gripped their hearts.

As they approached the men moved to the side and Roy reached her first. She was sitting down leaning against the wall as she talked to the police. Seeing her alert and having a conversation was the best medicine for both of them.

"Izzy?" Roy said as he moved to her side.

"Oh, thank goodness." Her words were filled with sadness, fear, and relief all at the same time.

"We're here, what happened?" He asked as he took her wrist for a pulse.

"Are you hurting anywhere?" Johnny asked her.

"I hit my head, but not really anywhere else." The talking triggered her coughing. "Some smoke too."

Roy chuckled with pure relief. "Well, we can take care of that."

She smiled at him.

Johnny put a cuff on her arm. "Does your neck or back hurt?"

"No." She started to try and stand up.

"Whoa there," Johnny said holding her shoulder still.

"I've been running around here doing your job," she winked at him. "I just started coughing and they made me sit down until you got here."

Johnny wrote down her vital signs and called it into Rampart. "They'd like to check you out just to make sure.

She nodded her submission then turned to Roy. "Michael?"

Roy got to smile this time. "He's waiting outside."

"I'd like to see him before riding to Rampart."

"I think that's a good idea or he is going to need resuscitation next."

They looked up to see Hank standing there with a smile that failed to reach his worried eyes. With gentle care they helped her to her feet eliciting a slight sway to her stance. Roy slipped one arm around her waist as her arm went over his shoulder to steady. They began working their way to the front doors.

Mike begged his Captain to go see what was going on, was it Izzy or not? Was she okay? Was one of them Sue? For the moment he paced in front of the engine. Each length of the truck he looked towards the doors again praying for her face to come through them. Marco and Chet waited with him unsure of what to say in fear that the news would be bad.

When the doors opened he saw Hank come out first and the smile on his face caught Mike off guard. Then he saw her. Disheveled, covered in soot, dress torn, and hair possessed, but she was walking with Roy's help. In a single breath he was moving to her and the smile on her face let him know that she was okay.

Roy didn't have to be told once, much less twice to let go of her as Mike wrapped his arms around her pulling her into his arms. She began to cry and he leaned back from her pushing her hair from her face.

"Are you okay? Please talk to me Iz," he leaned in and kissed her forehead and felt her nod beneath his hands.

"I'm okay."

His eyes shot over to Roy and Johnny. "She's okay?"

Roy nodded. "A little shaken up, a little smoke. We're going to take her to Rampart to make sure, but she's okay pally."

* * *

Mike sat in the waiting room with the others. Well, more like paced the room while the others sat. Brackett, Dixie and the police were in the room with Izzy and Mike despite all the hospital rules wanted to be in there with her. Knowing he had not been there to protect her before only made this separation even worse. After a decisive conversation with his self he strode down the hall and pushed open the door to her treatment room.

She was sitting on the exam table while Dixie rechecked her blood pressure. Dixie just smiled at him and shook her head. "Wondered what was taking you so long."

"How is she?"

Izzy tilted her head a bit and raised her eyebrows. "I am just fine thank you."

He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "That's good to hear, but I'd also like to know the professional opinion."

Kel finished listening to her lungs and stepped back. "You're sounding much better after that aerosol treatment. How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted, but better."

"I'd like to keep you for a few hours of observation," Kel said though he knew what the response would be.

She shook her head. "I'd really like to just get home. I promise to call if anything changes."

"Iz, I've got a few more hours of work. If you'll stay here til I'm off shift I'll pick you up and take you home." Mike tried to use his convincing tone with her.

Her shoulders dropped as she sighed. Honestly, she was too spent to argue with him about it and besides he would be back soon.

Dixie stepped beside her. "I'll put you in a private room so you can get some sleep."

She nodded with silent agreement which allowed the ones around her to relax a bit knowing they could keep an eye on her for just a little bit longer.

With lack of sleep and emotional weariness Mike pulled into the ER parking lot to pick up his fiancé. Three more calls before end of shift had kept them moving constantly after leaving the hospital, but knowing she was in safe hands had allowed him to focus on his job again.

Stepping into her room she was up, showered, dressed, and looking none the worse for wear. Honestly, between the two of them he was the shambles of disaster in appearance. Without even speaking he wrapped his arms around her and simply held her. She molded to his frame as if she had been made to match him. Her breaths were even and calm bringing a relaxation to him that he hadn't felt for many hours.

Gently pushing her back he smiled. "Let's get you home."

* * *

She leaned against the kitchen counter on the phone with her father; again, as they discussed insurance filing, damage repairs and how many days they might need to be closed. Mike passed by her, hair wet from a shower, with fresh clothes on and planted a kiss on top of her head. From there he promptly stretched out on the couch, his long legs reaching the other end, and began flipping through TV channels. Every time a news update came on about a fire and arrest he quickly changed it. Living it was enough for them both.

Finishing up the call she hung up, poured a couple of glasses of tea and nudged herself a spot on the couch. Teasingly he pulled her down beside him as he moved to the back of the couch to make room.

"You can't get a nap if I'm hogging the couch," she giggled.

He pushed on her as if shoving her onto the floor. "I can fix that."

Grabbing onto his shoulders she let out a small scream then laughed. "I would say 'you wouldn't dare', but then I know you better than that!"

Pulling her close he kissed her gently then with more urgency. "I could have lost you."

She felt the seriousness in the words. "I'm okay and it's over now. One psycho chick behind bars, check." She ran her fingers through his hair. "So, no dwelling on this okay?"

He nodded and she chuckled as she shook her head knowing it wouldn't be that simple.

"I'm going to fold laundry. You sleep." She quickly kissed him and jumped up, leaving his arms reaching for air.

Without looking back she began singing softly and drifted down the hallway.

Within minutes he was sound asleep.

* * *

"I still can't believe she took it that far," Dixie said as she sipped on her coffee.

The hospital cafeteria was busy with breakfast traffic as she, Izzy, and Kanda sat together for some girl talk.

Kanda shook her head. "It's sad how people get so possessive over another person. They have no idea or concern for the damage they cause."

Dixie nodded solemnly knowing the depth of that sentence with what happened to her and Roy in the past. "Thank goodness the Saloon wasn't more damaged."

Izzy leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. "Minimal damage really since it was limited to just my office. We were so lucky."

Kanda laughed abruptly. "Lucky? I don't think so. Remember I live with one of those firemen." She put her cup down. "If you hadn't worked at getting that fire under control so quickly the whole thing could have been lost."

The thought was sobering to Izzy though she truly didn't want to keep seeing it in her mind. Yes, the potential had been there, but it didn't come to pass. "Maybe dating a fireman is rubbing off on me," she laughed.

Dixie put her elbows on the table and leaned in close to the others. "We have something much more serious to discuss ladies."

The other two women got quiet and exchanged quick glances with each other over the very serious look on Nurse McCall's face.

"What?" Izzy whispered as she leaned in also.

"We have a wedding to plan."


	23. Chapter 23

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

_It is a good thing to be rich, and it is a good thing to be strong, but it is a better thing to be loved of many friends. ~Euripides_

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_Ty so much for the reviews and the awesome pm's! You guys are the whipped cream on my pumpkin pie!_

* * *

Chapter 23

Something Old, Something New

"This place makes me nervous," Johnny said as he held onto both handrails along the not so wide catwalk.

"Stop talking about it and just find the kid," Roy quipped back, in no mood to discuss the heights they were shakily walking across.

The call had been for an injured child at an old agricultural factory down a long abandoned warehouse row. Giant storage bins stood empty and rusting from years of neglect. However, after persistent searching and calling they had not found anyone at all.

"This has to be another prank call," Johnny said with exasperation. "The police are going to have to do something about it."

"I'm sure they are. We have to still make sure it's not a real call for help since there's no way we can know."

Johnny nodded. "I know."

They continued to call out into the empty space.

"Head that way and let's get down from here," Roy said pointing to the closest ladder down.

Johnny was only a couple of steps in front of him when his foot found a slick as ice edge to the walkway. Falling he managed to grab the railing under his left arm as the entire structure began to lean with him, first to the side, then down.

"ROY!" Johnny cried out as he whipped around from the noise behind him only to see Roy clinging to the railing and the broken gap widening between them.

"Get back!" Roy yelled at his friend and partner as his arm slid down the rusted pipe railing and his side of the walk bent rapidly towards the floor twenty feet below them.

The problem was Johnny was now in the same situation except his portion of the railing and walk were completely separating from the wall.

"Jump." Roy's voice was low and in control.

Johnny shook his head, "It won't hold both of us."

"I have a plan. Just jump."

With unquestioned trust Johnny jumped and grabbed around Roy's waist just as his own portion of metal supports clambered to the floor below, breaking into multiple pieces.

"Swing," Roy said through gritted teeth as the only thing holding them both up at this point was his left arm and it was getting stretched to the maximum point of tolerance fast.

Looking around quickly Johnny figured out Roy's plan. He didn't like it, but it was better than plummeting to the floor below. Kicking his feet and hearing the grunts of pain from Roy he began swinging his body in the wind until he heard the growing metallic strain from above. With a release he propelled his body towards the wide open chute that jutted from a giant metal storage container.

Hitting it with a thud he instantly started sliding down into the pitch black darkness below until it opened up and he dropped to the bottom. Looking up with panic he realized the curve of the chute prevented him from seeing any light, much less Roy.

"ROY!"

Almost simultaneously he heard the loud clattering of more metal hitting the ground outside of the tank and Roy almost knocking him down as he emerged from the chute. In the utter darkness he tried to help him up.

"Are you okay?" Johnny asked with urgency.

"I think so." Pause. "Nothing broken, but I'll be sore as heck tomorrow."

"Soreness we can live with. Do you still have the HT?"

Roy fumbled in the dark. "Yea, let's see if we can get any signal out from this thing."

"Okay, this thing has to have a door somewhere. I'm going to see what I can find." He reached down to his belt. "Great, lost my flashlight, do you have yours?"

"Truck."

Johnny grunted. Using his hands he palpated his way across the inside of the old rusted tank, more than once pulling back quickly from nicks and cuts. Good thing he was up to date on his tetanus shot he told himself. He could hear Roy on the HT calling for help though it was apparent the signal was all but lost from where they were.

When he felt a metal frame and hinge his excitement built. "Hey, found something." However, as his fingers explored the shape he realized that there was no knob. "No inside handle, of course, cause who would be inside needing to get out other than us?"

"Someone heard me," Roy said from the other side. "I just don't know how much they got from it."

Johnny followed his voice and worked his way back to Roy. "What about climbing back up the chute?"

Roy looked up to the tiny shadow of light from above. "It's too high, even if you get on my shoulders you couldn't reach to bottom of it."

"So now what?"

Roy took a breath and slowly released it. "We'll keep trying the HT and wait. They know where we came and when we don't report back they'll come find out why."

Johnny sat down with a thud. "Great."

They could hear each other shuffling for comfort in the darkness.

"Man."

It was the tone that alerted Roy. "What's wrong?" He stood back up quickly.

"I think I have a cut on my back."

"Stand still," Roy said as he walked towards the voice seeing how the little light they had was fading quickly with the setting sun. With his hands out in front he tried to not run into Johnny.

"Ouch!," Johnny said as a finger found his eye.

"Sorry, where is it?"

"My back, here," he pulled off his turnout coat and let it drop to the floor then pulled up his work shirt.

Roy pressed the dim green glow light of his watch which lit up an area of about one inch visibility.

"Take off your undershirt. I can use it as a compression bandage."

"Can you tell how deep?"

Roy found both ends of the long laceration and grimaced. "It's about four inches long and deep enough to need stitches. It's bleeding pretty good."

Johnny hissed as he pulled off the white shirt and felt it pressed it into the wound. Then taking his own belt off Roy wrapped it around his upper waist and tightened it so the dressing pressed against the cut.

"That seems to be working. Now sit down. Do you feel lightheaded at all?"

Johnny shook his head.

"Johnny?"

"Oh, sorry, no."

Roy chuckled. "Sign language won't work in here pally."

Johnny smiled. "10-4."

They both jumped when the HT crackled.

_Squad…..longer…..down…..Engine….read?_

Roy tried to answer back, but only found static once again. "I think they've figured it out."

"Hope so." A rousing adventure was something Johnny normally didn't shy from, but this time he wasn't comfortable about their situation. The laceration was burning and painful though he wouldn't say a word. He knew Roy was worried, but right now there was nothing more that could be done.

* * *

Izzy sat with Kanda and Emily, Hanks wife, at a small sidewalk café just off the ocean front. The breeze was gentle and warm, the air filled their nostrils with the scent of salt water and fresh bread baking from inside.

"This is Melanie, she works with us at the bar and we've been friends for years," Izzy said as she introduced everyone followed by mutual welcomes.

They sipped their tea and enjoyed the moment of respite and relaxation. When sirens filled the air, growing louder as they got closer, the hesitation of each woman would have been missed by a bystander. But they each felt that fraction of a second fear that such noises and the urgency that rushing red truck brought.

"It's crazy, I never even noticed things like that until recently. Do you ever get used to it?" Izzy asked quietly.

Emily shook her head. "No, even after fifteen years of marriage and being a fireman's wife, you never get used to it."

Kanda watched her closely. "It becomes different when you go from dating to actually loving a fireman. That fear of losing them becomes more real and personal. Are you worried about it?"

Izzy thought for a minute and sipped her hot tea. "No," then she paused. "It's hard to explain. I'm not panicked all the time that something will happen to him at work, but I'm always thinking is he safe? Or is he okay today?"

Emily reached out and took her hand. "Honey, those questions will never end if you love him. It wouldn't matter if he was a fireman or the grocery store bag boy. If you love them you simply hope they come back home to you."

"I'll be honest with you Izzy," Kanda started. "If you focus too much on what could happen to him it will eat you up inside and eventually destroy what you have together. It's a leap of faith to be the wife of a fireman, or police officer, or to anyone in a job that puts them in danger. It's in faith you hope they will make it home to you each time and faith that when something does happen you can help see them through it."

"David might not be a fireman, but with construction I could worry every day he will fall to his death. I can't allow myself to dwell on it or I'd go insane," Melanie added with reference to her husband.

Emily nodded. "It's like marrying into the military. You will worry because you're human, but if you can't deal with the risks they face then you shouldn't tie yourself to them."

Izzy was surprised by the intense turn the conversation had taken. She had never thought she couldn't handle the risks of his job. Could she?

Kanda brought her from her reverie. "Make sure you know the answer before the big day."

Izzy smiled, she already knew deep down. "I already know the answer. Let's go dress shopping."

* * *

"What time is it?"

If they weren't sitting in pitch blackness Johnny would have seen Roy roll his eyes at the question which had been asked at least ten times so far.

"Johnny," Roy said with exasperation and weariness.

"I know, I know, you can't see your watch." Then approximately thirty seconds of silence passed, "Well, how long do you think we've been sitting here?"

Roy moved his head from side to side even though the effort was useless for seeing anything new or anything at all. "I don't know, maybe half hour?"

Johnny shuffled his position a bit and reached back to the wadded up shirt behind him. It was damp now. "Thirty minutes? Is that all?"

"Will you just be still? All that moving around you're doing will only keep it bleeding. Besides, they'll figure out where we are soon. It's not like you have a hot date tonight."

The sound of his hands clapping together echoed in the metal container. "Oh buddy, I've not even told you about Jessica."

Again, the in the dark his eyes rolled. "I know I shouldn't ask, but who is Jessica?"

"The new waitress at Ross's Diner and man is she hot. We have a dinner date this weekend."

Roy leaned against the wall behind him. Johnny heard the scraping sound. "You okay?"

The worry in his partner's voice was clear and it brought out a chuckle in Roy.

"What's so funny?"

"You're the one hurt and you're worried about me?"

Johnny shrugged in the dark. Of course he was worried, they were friends and closer than most blood brothers. "Not worried, just making sure you're ready to carry me out of here."

Roy had stayed very alert to his movements, breathing, and sounds of discomfort. He knew the longer they were stuck the worse Johnny would feel. However, right now the tone carried sarcasm, not fear. "I've done my daily duty of carrying you, from twenty feet off the ground. You're on your own partner."

That brought a smile to his face because he knew Roy had his back when he needed him, even if it meant carrying him, which had happened more than once.

"Listen," Roy said quietly.

"ROY?" "JOHNNY?"

Johnny started to sand up until he felt a hand on his shoulder holding him down.

"In here!" He yelled back to the voice of their Captain. "We're in here!"

"Hang on, we'll get you out."

Roy turned and managed to get his foot caught in the turn out coat and with zero light to orient himself he fell sending a loud echoing bang through the chamber.

"You okay?" Johnny quickly asked as he heard the wind knocked out of his partner.

"Yea, I'm okay." He rubbed his back where he hit the side of the tank. "But I think we better sit still until they get that hatch opened up."

"Wonder how they found us?"

"Probably your nonstop talking," Roy smirked in the dark.

"It's a good thing I know you're kidding cause that could be hurtful."

Roy decided to keep his mouth shut.

"You were kidding right?"

Sigh. "Yes Johnny, I was kidding."

The tank got noisier as feet shuffled and the sounds of heavy equipment echoed through their dark world.

"I sure hope Mike doesn't know about Saturday night?"

Roy shrugged in the dark. "He doesn't seem to. Kanda just invited them out to have dinner with us."

Johnny grinned in the dark. "It's gonna be a hell of a party."

This time Roy agreed with his friend. "Well, you know Kanda; she knows how to throw a party."

"And the band is set?"

"Yes, the band, the decorations and Dixie has the guest list under control."

"Do you think they'll like it?" Johnny asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

"It's an engagement party. I'm sure they will love it. Besides, when has anyone from this crew not enjoyed a good party?" Roy chuckled.

Johnny nodded in the dark unseen, but his next words were drowned out by the K-12 roaring above them and the relief that they would escape soon.

* * *

Her appointment had been scheduled earlier in the week and upon their arrival the owner of the small bridal shop whisked them back to the dressing area. After introductions were made Kanda, Melanie and Emily were seated on a black leather couch while Izzy was directed to a large dressing room.

"This is so exciting!" Emily exclaimed. "It seems like a hundred years ago since I was shopping for my dress."

Melanie was thrilled too. "Izzy helped me pick out my dress a couple of years ago."

"I'm so glad she asked me to come along too. It's been so much fun helping to plan the wedding," Kanda said with a big smile.

"Speaking of weddings?" Emily said with raised eyebrows.

Kanda took a deep breath. "I know, I know, soon Emily, I promise."

Emily laughed then almost squealed as Dixie came around the corner.

"I didn't miss anything did I?" She said as she sat down beside them.

"No, we just got here too. She's trying on the first dress."

"I told Kel I was going shopping for wedding dresses today," she smirked. "I thought I was going to have to perform CPR on the man."

They all laughed until Izzy stuck her head out of the door.

"Well, come on out," Emily encouraged her.

Izzy stepped out and everyone got silent, unsure of what to say.

The full length heavy satin dress was fitted at the bodice with long tight sleeves of the same material which changed to a thick lace upper bodice. The neckline was so high she felt the need to keep her chin raised.

"What do you like or not like about it?" Dixie asked not wanting to sound judgmental.

"Well, honestly? I feel like an accident victim with a cervical collar on. It's so uncomfortable."

Melanie laughed first. "Either than or you need to join the nunnery."

Everyone laughed with her.

"I think you nailed that perfectly. Next dress!" Emily said.

Quickly she disappeared back into the dressing room.

"Does she know?" Dixie whispered.

"Not a thing," Kanda replied. "They think they are coming to dinner."

"Trust me she has no idea," Melanie waved her hand at them.

"What time?" Emily joined in.

"They will be there around six – thirty, so any time before six will be perfect."

Dixie beamed. "Mel thanks so much for helping me with the guest list from the Saloon. We didn't want to leave anyone out. This is going to be so great."

"Ready?"

"Come on, let's see it," Kanda encouraged her.

This time she came out dancing around in her bare feet as the floor length, no train, and cotton eyelet lace dress twirled around her. It was trimmed on the short sleeved arms and knee level with soft yellow ribbon. The neck line was a square sporting the same wide yellow trim.

"I feel like a flower child," she laughed.

"You look like one too," Dixie said shaking her head.

"Look, I could go barefoot and get married in a field of wild flowers," she said almost musically with whimsy.

"I'm not wearing heels in a field of wildflowers. I draw the line there," Emily chuckled.

"Okay, okay, so it's not the one," she giggled and headed back into the dressing room.

* * *

"You're both lucky the injuries weren't a lot worse," Hank chided them though his voice was riddled with concern for his men.

Roy looked over to Johnny with disapproval for his decision to finish the shift. Twenty stitches were plenty enough to get sent home. They were lucky the rest of the night had only been a couple of minor calls. As he watched the clock tick towards the end of the shift he prayed for silent tones over the next hour.

Marco topped off Roy's coffee. "Good thing we have a four day weekend coming to us."

"A good chance to relax for the weekend," Roy replied knowing his days off were full of doing chores and errands for Kanda.

"What?" Johnny said to Chet who sat on the couch with Henry drape across his lap.

"Only you, Johnny boy, only you."

Johnny's hand went to his chest. "I was not the only one in there if you'll remember correctly."

"Ah, but that side of the catwalk was covered in oil so really it's a miracle poor Roy there wasn't hurt in the fall."

Johnny looked aghast. "Poor Roy?" His eyes shot to his partner who was now leaning back and looking kinda puny. A double take quickly threw Roy a 'don't go there with me' look. "And what about me? I was the one hurt!"

"I think I lost some hearing from the K-12," Roy muttered.

Mike chuckled under his breath at the morning banter even though he was thankful that they weren't hurt any worse that they were.

Chet sat up some making Henry moan though his eyes never opened. "Well Johnny, see Roy here had no warning and nothing to stop the fall so he was a victim of circumstance and conditions. You on the other hand were just an accident waiting to happen."

Johnny rolled his eyes, shuffled his feet and gritted his teeth as he tried to come back with something perfect.

"Johnny, Roy, can I see you in my office?" Hank interrupted.

"Sure Cap, they echoed each other.

* * *

As the ladies continued with final party details they sat and waited for Izzy to reappear. And waited and waited.

"Izzy, are you okay?" Kanda knocked on the door.

Laughter came from the room. "Coming."

"I'm beginning to get worried here," Dixie said with raised eyebrows.

The next dress didn't need commentary and only sent them all, including Izzy, into a laughing fit that left tears in their eyes. The satin dress, covered with sheer netting, was at least six inches above the knee, fitted at the waist with a deep v neckline that left nothing to the imagination. The sleeves were giant and puffy, fitted at the wrist and the back was open to the waistline.

Melanie stood up and tugged at the bottom of the dress. "Not sure that Mike would appreciate this style _before the wedding."_

Izzy laughed along with a blush then tried to sound serious. "Ah, I'm sure my dad would love this one!"

"Dad would have a heart attack if you wore that down the aisle."

They all turned to see Mr. Newman standing at the entrance to the waiting area with a giant smile on his face. Izzy turned and ran into his arms.

"Oh dad, I'm so glad you could come."

The ladies stood up and greeted him with warm welcomes to Izzy's special day. Pulling up a single chair beside them he leaned back into it. "Now, let's see the perfect dress for my little girl."

Three dresses later and everyone agreed that none were "her". Izzy wasn't disappointed, but a part of her felt that finding the just right dress somehow meant that this was supposed to be. Standing in the dressing room looking at the next choices that the owner had brought to her she heard a tiny knock.

"Come in."

"It's me honey," her dad called into the room.

"I'm sorry it's taking so long dad. I'm not trying to be difficult I promise," she said quietly.

"There is nothing disappointing about seeing you grown up and looking so beautiful. The right dress is just waiting for you to find it." He passed her a bag which held and even bigger box.

"What's this?"

"You can see if you promise me one thing."

Izzy was very curious now. "Okay."

"That if you don't like it you will be honest and say so."

Opening the box, Izzy pulled out a wedding dress. Her eyes filled with tears.

"Your mom's. She saved it for you to wear one day, if it's not too old fashioned and if you like it."

All she could do was nod.

He smiled. "We'll be waiting."

Quietly, Izzy stepped out into the waiting area and stood on the wooden stage with the tri framed mirror in front and the waiting party behind her. They were speechless.

The fitted bodice hugged around her lower back with pearl buttons and a softly sculpted neckline. Fitting down her waist and hips the white gown held was slightly flared to give a soft ball gown effect with a short chapel train behind. Pearls revealed a soft pattern along her waist then flowed down towards her feet. Her hair had been pulled back and was held with a modest tiara from which a soft veil dropped. Tendrils of red curls fell down both shoulders.

"Oh Izzy," Dixie sighed as she watched the bride to be eyes fill with tears.

She turned to them causing the dress to swirl around her. "It was my moms."

"Have you found your dress darling?" He asked her.

She nodded as she reached up to wipe the tears away. He stood up and took her hands. "She had this specially made when we got married, but seeing you in it, I think she had it made for you. You remind me so much of her Isabelle and never forget that you have all her beauty, inside and out."

"Thanks dad," she said as they hugged.

"Izzy?" Kanda asked with a smirk on her face.

"Yes?"

"Exactly _what_ is under that dress?"

Dixie tried to not laugh as Izzy raised her eyebrows in feigned innocence.

"Just my wedding shoes."

"Uh huh, let's see them," Kanda pressed.

Slowly she raised her dress and her father burst out laughing at the famous red boots.

* * *

A/N: This updated chapter reveals a different dress for Izzy. I would like to thank those who gave _kind_ input. Thank you to FashionQueen.


	24. Chapter 24

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends. ~Nancie J. Carmody

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

A/N: Thank you to all those who read and reviewed and especially to those who have left kind words as PM's. I've never shied away from learning and improving my story telling and appreciate those who teach through encouragement and sharing of knowledge.

Chapter 24

CELEBRATION

* * *

"You know it's hard to concentrate when you're doing that."

Izzy giggled as she nuzzled kisses on his neck. "Sorry, can't help it."

He strummed the guitar with some horrible chord that sent chills up her spine.

"Okay, I get the point." She circled around him and picked up Bessie, swinging the strap across her neck. "Try this one."

As his long fingers played the strings and followed her lead a thrill of happiness went through her knowing he was trying to be a part of something she loved so much.

"That's great!"

He shook his head. "Not sure I'll ever get the hang of this. Maybe I should stick to driving fire trucks."

After putting Bessie back into her case she knelt down between his knees, leaning forward so she was face to face with him. "I think you play beautifully, but then I'm just a little biased."

Placing his guitar to the side he leaned in to meet her kiss. "That's okay, I like your bias."

They both let out a sigh as the kitchen timer went off.

"I got it," she said as she jumped up.

Mike stood up and stretched like a lean house cat in the sun and strolled onto the balcony. Leaning on the railing he surveyed the inner grounds that lay below with its picturesque water garden and walking paths. Memories flooded him of their first walk together down a garden path, so many months ago now. Yet, there was no surprise about where that path had led them.

Turning back towards the apartment he watched her with amusement as she danced around the kitchen singing to the radio. He couldn't hear the music, but it was obvious she was totally into it at the moment. He loved her energy, her laughter, her sexiness, her passion for life and more than anything he loved that she was his.

Going back inside he chuckled at the radio selection. It was typical of her to find the offbeat stations. She was singing full blast and donned a seductive smile when she saw him come towards the kitchen. Their dinner was now sitting on the stove top cooling and she danced up beside him, her arms above her head making the words her own.

_Where did you come from baby__  
__How did you know I needed you__  
_

Mike debated between blushing and snatching her up right there. Instead he just grinned back to her and watched her have fun.

_I believe in miracles__  
__since you came along you sexy thing_

When he pulled her into his arms she stopped singing. "How many shocked faces do you thing that would bring as our couples dance song?"

His smile dropped. "I hope you're kidding."

She laughed. "Yes baby I'm kidding." Then she looked into the living room. "Need something more like…" she trailed off and turned down the radio.

Biting her bottom lip she held back the smile that wanted to escape and began a seductive dance around him.

_Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight.__  
__Afternoon delight._

This time he laughed. "Yes, just what my mother wants to know about me."

She quickly smacked him in the chest playfully. "Speaking of your mother, are we still on for the trip up to see them next month?"

He nodded as he helped her finish setting the table for dinner. "Should be. I don't know what the deal was with this weekend, but apparently later works better for them."

"I can't wait to see them again. It's been so long since," she hesitated and felt her heart flutter.

He wrapped his arms around her. "Yea, the last visit was under not so great of circumstances."

She nodded with memories that were still painful for her.

"Hey," he pulled up her chin. "She can't wait to see you."

"Same here. I just love your mom." She pulled away to get the bread. "If I'm supposed to hate my mother in law I'm in trouble."

Mike laughed knowing the bond between her and his mother was already deep and strong.

"I forgot the crème cheese," she said frantically.

"I can go get some for you," Johnny offered the frantically working Kanda.

"No, no, I'll make it work. You have done so much and there's no time left now." She turned and stuck her head outside the back kitchen. "Jose? Did you get that other extension cord for the bar?"

"Yes, ma'am," he called back to her.

Johnny shook his head. "If you don't slow down you're gonna have a stroke." He took her by the arm and led her out of the kitchen.

"Johnny, I don't have time for this," she protested in the hallway.

"Look, the guys have the backyard ready, the band is setting up, Roy is getting dressed, and all the food is ready." He creased his eyebrows at her. "Go. Take. A. Shower."

Letting out a deep breath she gave in to his wisdom. "You're right; we're as ready as we can be. I'll go get ready if you can play host and get everyone where they should be."

When the doorbell rang Johnny jumped in front of her. "Oh no you don't. I got it, now you go."

"What are you so nervous about?" Mike asked her.

She fiddled with her hair a bit more. "I don't know. Does this look okay?" She backed up to show him the simple white cotton flare dress.

"You look perfect to me."

Shaking her head she chuckled. "You're no help."

"Relax, it's just Roy and Kanda and you know them."

"I know, I know. It's crazy, I just feel all excited," she said as she finished her hair and slipped on her dressy shoes.

He eyed them closely. She followed the gaze down. "Don't say a word. I'm trying to be good here.

"We can stay home if you want too," he offered. "I'm sure they'd understand."

She paused and thought about it. "No, they've both gone out of their way to include me. I'm ready, let's go and have some fun."

Mike knew the way to the ranch and as they passed under the driveway arch she strained to see it. "Kanda is Lakota right?"

"Yea and it wasn't that long ago that she and Johnny reunited again."

She snuggled next to him. "I think that's wonderful. Sometimes things are just meant to be."

She sat up as the large white historic farm house came into view at the end of the driveway. When she took his hand and stepped out of the car she took a deep breath. "It's just amazing here."

Mike nodded in complete agreement. She walked a few steps to the large oak tree letting her fingers run down the rope of the swing that resided in it. Scattered dolls and toys at the base of the tree reminded her that Roy had a young daughter. In the distance horses neighed from the large red barn and the fragrance of fall wildflowers filled the air. She felt the tug of his hand and followed him to the large inviting front porch.

Kanda opened the door as soon as they knocked and greeted them both with a hug of welcome and invited them into her home. Roy stood to the side and shook Mike's hand.

"Glad you guys could make it," he said.

"It's been a crazy week so getting away for a bit is nice."

Roy choked down the laugh and motioned for them to follow him to the kitchen.

"It's so nice outside we thought we'd eat on the patio, if that's okay with you guys?" Kanda asked.

"Sounds great," Izzy replied.

Roy and Kanda stepped back and let Mike open the door for Izzy as they stepped outside together. At the bottom step they stopped dead in their tracks. Mike had been to other gatherings at Kanda's place and though the trees of twinkling lights, soft grass lawn filled with family and friends, and upbeat music was not a new site he was overcome by the fact that this time it was for him, for them.

Izzy's eyes filled with tears as she saw the decorated banner that said 'Congratulations to Izzy and Mike!'

As they stepped forward everyone else moved to greet them.

Mr. Newman was the first to reach them as he pulled her into a bear hug. "I'm so happy for you hon."

"Thanks dad," she said through teary eyes, then smiled. "So the failed termite inspection wasn't a valid reason for closing the bar tonight?"

He laughed. "Well, it's just about impossible to get you out of that place sometimes."

Everyone they knew was there. Johnny was with Emily, Marco and Chet had dates, Marco's mother greeted her like a mother bear finding her long lost cub. Hank and his Emily beamed with joy. Dixie, Kel, Joe, and Mike represented the Rampart crew. Izzy was also thrilled to see friends from the club and that her band was providing the music on the other side of the lawn. Even Jake had come.

"I'm really happy for you Izzy," he said with heart as she hugged him. "I hope this is the beginning of the best life possible because you deserve it."

She rubbed his arm. "Thank you Jake. You're important to me and I'm glad you're here."

Reaching over he shook Mike's hand. "I mean it, for both of you."

Mike nodded. "I appreciate it Jake."

"Michael?"

He looked up and felt his own lump in the throat experience. It was his mom and he was never so glad to see anyone at that moment. The last time they had been face to face was when he was acting his worst and Izzy had just reappeared in his life. It was a turning point in his recovery and though he had talked to his mom since then, this was the first time he'd been able to hug her.

This time he got to do his own quick investigating. "Too busy for us to come up this weekend huh?" He chuckled.

She patted his face gently. "We mothers are a lot smarter than you think."

"I'll never question that wisdom again," he laughed.

"Took you this long to figure that out? I learned that lesson thirty years ago."

Izzy gave Mr. Stoker a hug. "Hopefully it doesn't take him that long to learn it from me." She winked at him with a wink received in return.

As they mingled through the crowd the sweet evening breeze cooled the air, glasses clinked with cheers, music swirled around them prompting dancing until the incredible smells of dinner drew them away for a bit.

When the music beat picked up couples once again took to the makeshift dance floor and Izzy found herself dancing with her dad.

"You know that all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy Iz."

"I know dad and I truly am."

"Have you considered my request for the reception?"

She smiled. "Yes, and we love it. It's perfect and will give us plenty of room to party afterwards."

"Good!"

"Mind if I interrupt?"

They both looked to see Johnny standing there waiting with a big smile on his face. Mr. Newman kindly passed her hand over to Johnny as the music moved to a slower pace.

"Surprised?" He asked with a crooked smile.

"Just a bit," she laughed. "It's really great Johnny," she looked at the sparkling trees above them. "I mean this is just amazing."

"I tell you, there is something very special about this place. Can't really describe it but it just seems to heal you."

She took a deep breath and nodded. "I can believe it." She glanced over to see Mike talking to his dad, Chet and Marco. Johnny followed her eyes to the group.

"You know we're kinda all family at the station and the guys just wanted to you to know that anyone important to Mike there is important to us too," he said tucking his head down a bit.

She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "No one could ask for more, thank you."

He blushed. "Why, you're welcome ma'am."

"Moving in on my girl?"

Johnny looked up to see Mike standing there now. "Not me, no way, just dancing, see?"

Mike silently moved in and put his arms around her as Johnny chuckled and reached out to take Kanda's hand next as the music continued.

"He was being nice," Izzy said seriously.

"I know how he is," Mike said then smiled helping her to relax.

"Thanks for playing nice with Jake."

"It's in the past, I'm fine." Mike was ready to let it go.

She nodded. "Good. Uh oh, look out."

Mike looked side to side then groaned.

"Play nice and share," she giggled then released her grip on him.

"May I have this dance?" Chet asked.

"I'd be honored," she replied as Mike backed up shaking his head while rolling his eyes.

This time the beat picked up and Chet was swirling her around the dance lawn like they were Sonny and Cher.

She laughed, "Chet, you dancing devil you!"

When the music stopped they were both out of breath and Chet gave her a small bow before leading her over to Mike. Mike himself was rather surprised at Chet's prowess on the dance floor and simply took her hand.

"Now, back to Sandy," he said before departing.

"Are you as surprised by that as I am?" She looked at Mike.

He shook his head. "Honestly, nothing Chet does surprises me anymore."

Izzy laughed and reached up for a kiss.

Mike turned to the tap on his shoulder to see his dad standing there. "May I?" Mike nodded one time and passed her hand to him.

"I see where Mike gets his dancing skills," she said.

"Well, I can't toss you around like that Chet fella did, but I'm not without my own moves." He carefully dipped her much to her surprise.

She sweetly laughed. "I know Mike is so glad you were able to come down."

"He's a good man Izzy and I think you know that already, however, I still expect you to take good care of him."

With a serious nod she understood what this father was asking. "I'll do my very best."

The man smiled for the first time during their dancing. "I have no doubts young lady."

As the music ended Izzy was ready for something to drink but instead found Joe Early standing beside her.

"Would you like a break?"

She shook her head. "No, I'd love to dance."

The warm smile on his face reflected how gentle and sweet man he really was.

"So, who's holding down the fort while the ER staff parties the night away?"

He laughed. "Even the natives get restless from time to time. Dr. Adair can never say no to overtime."

"It really means a lot to Mike and I that you came, thank you."

"Wouldn't miss all this for the world, thank you for sharing it with us," he said as they swirled around the dance lawn.

When the music faded away they both moved to the free standing bar which Jake was staying busy at.

Izzy smirked at him. "Just can't keep out from behind those things can you?"

"We all have our God given talents. You have the voice of an angel and I can sling the liquor."

They both laughed.

"Honey, you need to eat."

Izzy turned to see Marco's mother standing beside her with a plate full of delicious food.

"Thank you Mrs. Lopez, but I just had some."

The older lady waved her finger. "It's Mama, sweet senorita."

Marco stood behind his mother nodding to Izzy.

"Thank you so much Mama Lopez," she replied as she took the plate.

As the woman gave her a big hug and continued talking in Spanish Izzy simply nodded her thanks and smiled.

With a swift gesture Marco guided his Mama to the next group of folks and waved his appreciation to her. Izzy looked at the plate and knew she couldn't eat another bit at this point and pushed it to the back of the bar space.

"What's wrong?" Mike asked her.

She whipped around to see him watching her like a hawk. "Nothing silly, I'm just full."

"Don't worry Mama Lopez always worries that we are not eating enough, but man oh man can she cook." He slipped his hand into hers. "Can you handle another dance?"

"Anytime with you good looking," she said with a wink.

When the music resumed it was slow and sweet, a country love song that Izzy had always loved. Leading her out to dance he hoped for no interruptions this time. His arms around her waist she leaned against his chest and closed her eyes. The foot work was simple and she moved perfectly synched with him. For a short while they were the only ones there.

"Do you think we should tell them the song ended?" Chet asked Roy.

"Don't you dare," Kanda whispered to him.

"There were absolutely meant to be together," Dixie said.

Mike's mom nodded. "She has been a gift into our lives and I'm so glad she'll be around for a long time."

Izzy stopped and pulled away from him. "Seems the song is over."

He smiled. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

She leaned back against him. "Don't worry I think I could stay here til the sun came up."

After an evening of delight and companionship everyone started saying their goodbyes and heading out.

"Kanda, Roy, this was the most wonderful thing, thank you so much," Izzy said as she hugged them both.

"We just hope you had a good time and realize how much we love you guys."

"Thank you both," Mike said as he shook Roy's hand.

"You're welcome pally."

Izzy pointed to her camera. "I'm glad you're the photographer for everything. Make sure I get copies."

Kanda smiled. "Absolutely. When we go looking at bridesmaid dresses this week I'll bring the pictures from the campout and the ones from the club I took too."

"Perfect," she was almost giddy with happiness.

With final goodbyes they headed back home.

"I can stay." Mike said with a touch of concern.

"No, it's late, you have to work tomorrow and so do I. It's just something I ate, I'll be fine."

He leaned in and felt her forehead as she sat on the couch. "Well, no fever at least. Can I get you anything?"

She rubbed her stomach. "I think if I eat anything else I'm gonna burst."

He winked at her. "No bursting allowed." He stood back up. "Get some rest and I'll check on you tomorrow, but call me if you need something okay?"

"I will," she stood up and walked him to the door.

He tenderly kissed her forehead. "Love you sunshine."

"Love you too babe."

As soon as she closed the door and turned out the living room lights she headed to her room. Half way down the hall she found herself sprinting to the bathroom where everything she had eaten forced its way out and she sank to the floor with a deep groan.

* * *

"You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate.

"Afternoon Delight" by Starland Vocal Band.


	25. Chapter 25

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

For every day that there is sunshine, there will be days of rain,  
it's how we dance within them both that shows our love and pain.  
~Joey Tolbert

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

* * *

Chapter 25  
You Are My Sunshine

Mike was close to pacing a trench into the day room floor; at least as far as the phone cord would allow him to move.

"Izzy?"

She pulled the phone under the covers with her. "Michael?"

"I knew I shouldn't have left. Are you okay?"

"Think I got a virus or something." She swallowed against a scratchy throat and felt like her hair hurt to touch the pillow.

"You need to call work; they've been looking for you. Heck, I've been calling for two hours."

"Really? Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I was up and down all night. I don't think I ever set the alarm. I'll call them now."

"Iz, call your dad, he's worried too."

She would have rolled her eyes, but they were throbbing with the beat of her triumphant headache. "Okay, I will. Don't worry honey. This too shall pass."

He let out an exasperated sigh as he tried to quiet his heart that was about to thump out of his chest. "Work and your dad, okay? Have you taken anything? Do you have a fever?"

Loving him was one thing but right now she just wanted him to whisper or even better yet, not talk anymore at all. "Bye hon, I'll call you back in a couple of hours." As soon as she hung up the phone she ran back to the bathroom.

He reluctantly hung up the phone and the frustration was stamped into the wrinkles of his brow.

"She okay?" Hank asked.

"Says she has a virus or something." He sat at the table with a sign of trapped resignation.

"Don't worry Amigo, she's strong," Marco said as he picked up the breakfast dishes.

"Thanks Marco," Mike said absent mindedly. "I'll call her back in a couple of hours."

"Jenny's teacher said there's a bug going around. Luckily it isn't lasting long," Roy added as he stood up from the couch where Henry had been napping on his leg. "Look, if Johnny and I get a run in that area we'll stop by and check on her."

Mike perked up. "I'd really appreciate it." He trusted the two men with his life and if they could make sure she was okay it would help him get through the shift easier.

Johnny laughed. "Relax Mike, remember, in sickness and health right?"

Mike smiled back, but the worry lingered in his eyes. It was something new to him, this feeling of disquiet regarding being away from her. Yes, he'd dated in the past, a fair amount actually, but never had he felt a connection to someone this intense and he couldn't help that he worried about her. Her being sick only made it worse.

Never had a twenty four hour shift seemed so long.

* * *

Izzy put in a quick call to work then to her dad letting them both know she was sick and not dead on the side of the road somewhere. Getting up against aching muscles and the general feeling that a truck had rented parking space on her body she worked her way to the front door to unlock it. Her dad would come by soon to check on her and she definitely had plans to never get out of the bed again.

She passed by the kitchen and headed to the bathroom in search of something for her head and the cough that had raged war in her chest. Grumbling to herself she was annoyed at all the things that needed to be done that week and made a mental note to also call Kanda and Melanie to let them know she was grounded for a while.

Crawling back into bed she put the medicines on her nightstand and quickly fell back to sleep.

* * *

"Johnny we need to go if we want to stop by Izzy's," Roy prompted his partner who was busy with the attentions of a new nurse.

"I heard she was home sick," Dixie said, now uneasy that she might need paramedics to check on her. "Sounded like the flu."

Roy nodded. "Yea, she talked to Mike this morning, but he would prefer hourly check in's if she would answer the phone."

Dixie grinned. "Oh, the angst of young love."

"Who has angst?" Kel asked as he stepped into the conversation.

"Oh, just Mike. He's stuck at the station while Izzy is home sick today," she said filling him in.

"She okay?"

"Yea, sounds like a virus. Johnny and I are gonna run by there and check on her before heading back to the station." He turned his head in the younger medic's direction. "That is if we can leave sometime today."

Kel nodded. "Good deal. Tell her we said get well soon."

"Thanks doc," Johnny said then turned to Roy. "Roy, we need to go before we get toned out again."

Roy looked at Dixie who just smiled with a tilt of her head. "Yea Roy, stop dawdling."

"Pretty sure I said that ten minutes ago," Roy mumbled as he tried to keep pace with Johnny who suddenly was in a hurry.

* * *

Izzy's throat was parched, raw, and swollen all at the same time. Lying in bed she wanted some warm tea to soothe it, but the thought of getting up made her whimper to herself. Unable to doze back off she untangled herself from the sheets and sat up on the edge of the bed. After a minute of trying to decide if she had to use the bathroom she promptly decided that lack of intake had resulted in her lack of output.

"Not good Iz," she muttered to herself.

Pulling off one of the lighter blankets on top of her comforter she enveloped it around herself then began the shuffle to the kitchen for hydration. A quick glance at the now on TV let her know that her dad had actually been there at some point to check on her although she didn't remember him waking her up at all.

Leaning on the counter she laid her head down savoring the coolness of the counter top even if it sent a chill through her. She once again told herself that she was one of those lucky souls that rarely got sick with anything and whining about it now wasn't helping anything. Returning to an upright position she filled the bright yellow kettle with water and turned the burner on high. After getting a cup and teabag she was spent and knew that if she left the kitchen she might not remember to come back.

* * *

Staying available the squad pulled up in front of the apartment building. Johnny had spent the short trip updating Roy on every detail, which wasn't very much, that he had discovered about the newest Rampart ER nurse. While he did keep an ear open to his partner Roy had learned a long time ago that his full attention rarely was needed when Johnny went on tangents about women.

"I couldn't believe she said that!"

Roy was brought back to the conversation. "Sorry, said what?"

Johnny scowled and furrowed his brow. "You're not even listening to me."

"Sure I am. Her name is Tammy, she's twenty one, originally from Oregon, has two cats." Roy was hoping that would satisfy his friend for the moment.

It worked as Johnny slid out of the truck and kept talking like he had never paused. Roy reached up to push the door call button just as someone was heading out of the building. Without even pausing in his discourse Johnny reached out and caught the door letting them inside. Quickly traversing the three flights of stairs they stopped at her door and knocked. The only response waa high pitched whistling coming from the apartment.

"Maybe she's asleep." Johnny shrugged as he attempted to turn the knob. To his surprise it was unlocked.

"Izzy?" Roy called out as he quickly scanned the living space. The whistling sound was easily traced to a kettle sitting on the stove which appeared not only empty, but was now smoking.

A quiet nonverbal exchange sent Roy to the kitchen and the dry kettle while Johnny headed up the stairs to check on her. As Johnny disappeared Roy rounded the corner cabinet only to nearly trip and fall over Izzy.

"Johnny!"

Roy quickly turned off the burner and tossed the kettle into the sink to cool off. Izzy was propped up in the corner in a sitting position, tightly wrapped up in her blanket and had not woken up to any of the noise.

"Izzy?" He knelt beside her and gave her shoulder a shrug, gentle at first then a harder shake. "Izzy!"

As Johnny came beside him they both were surprised at how pale she was even though only her face was visible from the securely bound wad of blanket. She moaned and worked at opening her eyes. When Roy came into her clearing vision she was startled for a moment and pulled back from him.

"Whoa, it's just us."

Johnny pressed his fingers to her forehead. "She's burning up."

"Roy?" She asked through her parched throat, dry lips, and a cloud of confusion. She tried to push herself into a straighter position.

Roy reached out to help her. "Easy there."

She smiled at them as she reoriented herself to time and place. "Michael sent out the rescue party?"

Johnny laughed. "Yea, pretty much since you're not answering your phone these days."

Pulling out a hand she pressed it to her forehead and the hammering that only gave respite when she was asleep. "Sorry, I've been kinda out of it today."

"Let's get you back to bed." Roy reached on one side with Johnny on the other as they helped her stand up.

Her legs were weak and didn't hold her for long. Roy swept his other arm under legs and picked her up while Johnny mouthed 'boxes' and headed back down to the squad. Her head rested on his shoulder as he took her down the hallway.

"Geez, I feel like such a baby."

"It's okay. Looks like we timed it just right though."

As he sat her down on the edge of her bed she was suddenly startled. "The kettle!"

Roy chuckled. "We got it, don't worry. Now let's get you back to bed."

She pushed off the thinner blanket and crawled under the heavy comforter of her bed and pulled it up tight as she started coughing hard. Roy pursed his lips together as he looked at the as sundry of medicines on her night stand.

"When was the last time you took something?" Her eyes were closed by now and she didn't answer him. "Izzy."

"Hmmm?"

"What did you take last?"

"Just took something," she mumbled as she pulled the comforter closer.

Johnny came back in the room. "I called us in."

Roy nodded.

"When? Izzy? When." Roy nudged her.

"She sure is groggy," Johnny said with unease.

Roy agreed with concerned eyes.

"Bout six."

Roy put down the cough syrup bottle that was empty. "Six this morning?"

"Ummhmm."

"Izzy, its three o'clock now."

But she sleeping again and not listening to him. Shaking down the thermometer he woke her enough to put it under her tongue. Johnny pulled out a blood pressure cuff and got her pulse.

"124/62, pulse 108, respirations 24," Johnny called out.

Roy checked the thermometer, "103.2"

They both nearly jumped when Izzy's dad came running through the door. "Oh God, what happened?"

Johnny stood up. "She's okay. We just stopped by to check on her and found her on the kitchen floor."

He moved to Roy's side. "I about had a heart attack when I saw the truck downstairs. Izzy hon?"

Roy watched her have no reaction.

"I was just here and gave her some cough medicine. I had to run down to the store and pick up her prescription. I wasn't gone that long." He shook his head.

"Her temperature is pretty high and she's really groggy," Roy updated him as he opened the link to Rampart. "I'm going to let the hospital know her vital signs."

He nodded. "She called me this morning and I could tell she was really sick. Normal she wants to be left alone when she's feeling puny, but she was wanting me to come check on her." He reached out and patted her legs. "She's a sleeper when she doesn't feel good, always has been. Her mom always knew when something was wrong because a train couldn't disturb her sleep."

"Has she seen a doctor yet?" Roy asked.

He nodded. "I talked to her doctor just a little bit ago. He said it's most likely the flu and called her in this cough medicine."

"Good thing she has you so close to help her out," Johnny smiled.

"Well, I'm sure she would beg to differ sometimes," he said lightheartedly.

"Rampart this is Squad 51, do you copy?"

"This is Rampart base, go ahead 51."

"Rampart, we have a female, approximately 25 years old, complaining of flu like symptoms. Blood pressure is 124/62, pulse 108, respirations 24 with temperature of 103.2. She is coughing, but her lungs sound clear, also she appears fairly dehydrated. Her father is here and they have already been in contact with their family doctor."

"10-4 51, How responsive is she?"

"Difficult to arouse, lethargic."

Mr. Newman ran his fingers through his thinning hair.

Kel was guarded with the high fever and symptoms. "51, start an IV of D5LR and transport."

Izzy started shaking her head from under the blankets. "It's the flu, I promise to drink more. Not going in."

"Rampart, patient desires to follow up with family doctor and refuses transport."

Dixie's voice came on the line. "51, what is the patient's name?"

"Izzy Newman."

Dixie shook her head at Kel. "I knew it. I'm off in a couple of hours and can go check on her."

It was better than nothing; still he wasn't happy about it. "10-4 51, advise her to follow up with her family doctor as soon as possible."

"Copy Rampart."

The three men looked at each other with resignation.

"Wake her up often and offer liquids to help her hydration," Roy offered.

Her father nodded. "I'm staying now so she won't be wandering the house anymore. If her fever isn't better soon I'll call the doctor's office back."

"Just don't let her do anymore cooking," Johnny said with raised eyebrows.

Mr. Newman laughed. "Izzy cooking? I don't think that will be a problem." He stood up as they gathered up their supplies. "Just let Mike know she's okay will ya?"

"Sure will. Let us know if you're worried about anything."

"Thanks fellas."

As they packed up the boxes and climbed back in the truck Johnny looked over to Roy. "What are you gonna tell Mike?"

"Me? Why me?"

"You're the senior partner here and I definitely don't want to be the one telling him that his fiancé almost burned down the house and refused transport to the ER."

Roy let out a sigh. "Well, I don't think we have to include _all_ the details. Besides, like her doctor said, it's most likely the flu, she's got new medicine; her dad is staying with her and I suspect Dixie will be there shortly. She'll be feeling much better in the next couple of days."

* * *

Dixie knocked softly on the door after being buzzed into the building. "How is she?"

"She's been asleep all day, but her temperature is down a bit."

"Good," Dixie said as she headed to see her.

Izzy was curled up and sleeping though coughs would disrupt her periodically. Dixie got a rag from the bathroom and after wetting it she pressed it to her forehead.

"Not good if Rampart is coming to me now," she rasped out.

Dixie put the cup with the straw to her mouth. "Here, drink."

Cooling her throat she leaned back down. "Thanks Dixie."

"Well, I wanted to see how you were doing myself after your blatant disregard for Dr. Brackett's words of wisdom earlier."

Izzy looked puzzled. "What?"

"You're refusal to be transported?" Dixie reminded her.

Izzy chuckled a bit. "Oh that. Sorry Dix, I'm not going to the ER for a virus. It may be kicking my butt for the short term, but I know perfectly well it won't last that long."

Dixie raised her eyebrows. "That almost sounds logical and rational. Is there anything I can get for you?"

Closing her eyes she shook her head. "No, just don't get my germs."

This time Dixie laughed. "Okay, get some sleep."

"Thanks Dix," Izzy said with a little smile before drifting back off.

Downstairs she found her father relaxed on the couch watching TV. "Why don't you go get some rest before the saloon opens and I'll keep a watch on her."

"Oh, I couldn't ask that of you," he said shaking his head.

"Don't worry, you didn't ask. I'm happy to do it. She's a friend and I know the Blue River needs you tonight, besides, I'm off work tomorrow so it's no problem at all."

A sigh of relief washed over him. "Thank you Ms. McCall."

"Dixie, and I'll take good care of her."

* * *

"It would be nice if you could pick days to be sick as a dog when I'm not scheduled to work," Mike said seriously.

Izzy was sitting up in the bed. Her headache was only mild, her cough nicely suppressed with cough medicine, and she was working on her third glass of ginger ale. "I'll be sure to check with you first next time," she smirked at him.

"Good because being stuck at work when everyone else can check on you but me is for the birds."

She patted his hand. "The last couple of days have definitely not been pleasant. Thank you for coming off shift and taking care of me."

He kissed her forehead. "I just hate to see you sick. It makes me feel helpless."

"You were great, my bed tucker inner, my medicine pusher, my tireless cup re-filler. You were far from helpless. I'm the one that feels bad. You get two days off work and you spend the entire time here taking care of me."

He pushed a ruby lock of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "It's my job to take care of you now sunshine."

She yawned. "Sorry, I'm just still wiped out."

Pulling the covers up around her as she slid back into bed he tucked her in and waited until she fell asleep. Back in the kitchen he washed up the residual dishes and cups and cleaned off the counters. Each day symptoms were resolving and she was getting closer to feeling better. He'd been able to get her to eat some homemade soup today and though she still pretty much slept all day he could see she was getting stronger again.

If you had told him five years ago that someday he would _want_ to hold someone's hair as they tossed their cookies he would have laughed in their face. But now? Yes, he understood the concept of loving someone so much that going through the worst with them could actually make you love them even more.

* * *

It wasn't until his travel alarm clock went off on the coffee table did he realize he had even fallen asleep. The television was still playing with the sound turned down very low and as he stretched he realized Izzy was still quiet upstairs.

Barefoot feet shuffled across the carpet and into the darkened bedroom where he sat on the edge of her bed. She was snuggled under her favorite blankets and sleeping quietly. Touching her forehead it was nice to see that the fever was gone and she easily stirred under his scrutiny.

"Everything okay?" She asked.

"Yes, and I believe I'm the one checking on you here. Did you even wake up last night?"

She stretched under the covers. "Not that I remember. What time is it?"

"Shower time for me. Do you need anything before I get ready?"

She nodded. "No, but just make sure you wake me before you go."

"I hope you're not going to try and make it to work today," he said with a subtle frown.

Softly shaking her head she wiggled closer to him. "No, I still have another day off before going back."

"Good. Will you still be able to get the weekend off at the end of the month?"

"Yea, shouldn't be a problem. Our staffing is good right now."

"Okay, I'll call around lunchtime."

When he leaned in to kiss her she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him towards her. He laughed and slid down beside her, on top of the covers.

"If I'm late I'll get Chet's latrine duty."

She groaned and slid an arm over his chest. "Just for a minute."

"Fine, but close your eyes and rest."

She complied and as he watched her drift back to sleep, as evidenced by her slow even breaths, he studied every aspect of her face. He didn't want to wake her, but it was difficult to be this close and not touch her soft cheek or play with her hair.

Finally, knowing that work called and he had to get going he reluctantly got up and proceeded to get ready.

Just before leaving he put a note on her nightstand.


	26. Chapter 26

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. ~Erma Bombeck

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews and all the PM's. You're thoughts keep me going!_

Chapter 26

Sure, If You Say So

* * *

The scrambled eggs slowly cooked as she emptied the orange juice container into a cup. Honestly, she wasn't all that hungry yet, but knew to get her energy back she needed some form of nourishment. After hibernating in bed for four days it felt good to get a shower and finally move around a bit. The cough was basically gone even though her chest ached from the punishment it had been put through and her stomach felt settled. So far it was a medicine free day for her.

"Okay, let's see how this goes," she said as she put her breakfast plate on the table. After a couple of bites she decided it was good, but not good at the same time. Not having the energy to figure it out she promply set the plate in the sink and headed back up to her room.

Feeling human again she knew there were some phone calls that needed to be made. As she reached for the phone she saw a small piece of folded pink paper sitting on the nightstand. She opened it up and giggled at his encouragement to get well fast because their next trip was coming up and apparently hiking and fishing were not the only suggested endurance activities.

Her first call was to the Burn Unit to let them know she would be back in the morning and to get an update on how things had been going. As fortune would have it half the staff was now out sick with her so the next forty five minutes entailed her manipulating the schedule to provide adequate coverage for them. The next call was to return a call from her attorney which only left her groaning with the prospect of dealing with Sue and court hearings in the near future. A quick call to Michael so he wouldn't worry found no answer at the station which meant a busy day for them. And lastly, a final call to Kanda and Melanie to reset the date for looking at bridesmaid dresses.

After that she was completely and utterly exhausted. Not even taking off her bathrobe she climbed under the covers and quickly fell asleep.

"Welcome back," Debbie said as Izzy headed into the nurse's station.

"She's just glad to not work another double back," Carole said referring to the short staffing crisis they were dealing with.

"Thanks," Izzy said while reviewing the patient board and staffing. "There's a patient in the ER that will be coming up soon and I'd like you to take him Debbie."

"Sure, if you want me too."

"I'm back, but I'm not up to par just yet. I'll be your helper through the day."

Debbie nodded and began getting organized for a new critical patient. Izzy headed to her little office and sat down behind the desk. Honestly, she was already worn out for the day; however, since that wasn't an option at this point she decided to finish up some paperwork before heading out to patient care.

"You don't look excited to be here," Carole said sticking her head in the office door.

Izzy smiled. "No, it's fine. Is our new patient here?"

Carole nodded. "He's here, looks pretty bad. I think Deb needs some help."

"Be right there."

Izzy took a deep cleansing breath and headed out to work.

* * *

"Sorry Mike, it's a no go for me at the cabin." Johnny reached into the cabinet in search of flour only to be doused with it on top of his head. Silently he turned around to glare at Chet who simply raised the newspaper he was reading a little bit higher.

"Chet," he said through gritted teeth. "I swear if you don't …"

Lowering the paper Chet put on his 'who me' face. "You know, I think that recipe calls for a less flour Johnny."

Hank came in and it only took one glance to sum up the situation. "Gage, go change clothes, again. Kelly, I need you to find Marco and move the boxes out of the dorm and into the outside storage room."

When the others cleared out of the room he turned to Mike and Roy. "I need to see you two in my office."

The two men looked at each other as they followed their Captain to the office.

Hank sat in his chair as Mike took the other office chair and Roy leaned against the wall. Roy knew what it was most likely about, he and Johnny had already met with Cap earlier to be briefed. Mike looked a bit lost. Being called into the office was highly unusual for him.

"Mike, I've already apprised Roy and Johnny on this, but I need to bring you up to date."

Mike looked wary. "Sure Cap, what's going on?"

Hank leaned back in the rickety appearing chair. "Sue Thompson has filed charges against the department, our shift in particular, and Roy and Johnny specifically."

Mike shot straight up in the chair. "WHAT!"

"Easy now pally," Hank started. "The department is behind us and is handling the review of our response to the scene." He leaned forward. "We did it by the book Mike and I have no doubts about that."

Roy leaned in some. "Johnny and I have gone over and over how we handled her care and even Dr. Brackett agrees that everything was acceptable."

"She's determined to tear us down every chance she gets." Mike was furious and even Roy was unaccustomed to seeing him so upset.

"She won't win this Mike. All she's trying to do is distract from the fact that she's the one under charges for assault, breaking and entering, arson, and attempted murder." Roy had already been through the angry phase at first hearing it. Time had allowed him to process that his care wasn't in question by anyone except her and the ones that would back him up were in full support. For him that's all that mattered.

"I just wanted you to know what was going on from our end because I'm sure Izzy will hear from her end soon." Hank tried to make it clear and Mike has his full support because deep down he felt that Sue was determined to wreak havoc in any way she could get away with.

Mike let his breath out and tried to relax. "Okay. What do I need to do?"

* * *

_Go home_ they told her. Overtime or not she was still in charge and it made her feel like a slacker. She still had four hours left to her shift and the work load for them all had been heavy due to a full unit and not enough staff. If she had been able to summon the energy to protest she would have. Instead, she just agreed and headed into the parking lot with her arms full of paperwork that demanded to no longer be neglected. Tossing everything into the back seat she sat behind the wheel and caught her breath.

Looking at her watch she realized it was just about dinner time and she hadn't even had time to talk to Michael today. Her first week at work had been trying at best. Coming back to a busy understaffed unit which required late hours and massive overtime was wearing her down quickly and for the first time she felt an intense need to see him. With her plan set she headed to the station.

About a mile from her desination the car began stuttering and making worrisome noises which just made her groan out loud. Knowing she was still about a mile away she tried to slow it down and took to basically creep her way there. Good plan, but the car wasn't impressed and shuttered before dying out.

"Really?" She said with exasperation. "Can anything else just go insanely wrong this week?"

Climbing out she locked the door and headed down the sidewalk. The terrain was flat and the evening air was cool but pleasant. Still, the walk seemed to take forever and she was exceedingly grateful to see the familiar brick building come into view. The open bay door signaled they were home and walking in the first thing she heard were Johnny and Chet arguing over something that sounded like a baking recipe.

Chet saw her first and got a big smile on his face. "Hey Izzy!"

Johnny turned around with a similar smile which faded some. He walked over to her. "You okay?"

"Hey guys." She looked at Johnny with frustration that she couldn't easily hide. "I was coming to see Mike and my car broke down."

"Oh man. He's in the kitchen working on dinner." Johnny walked with her.

When they reached the kitchen she immediately put her finger to her lips as Roy, Marco, and Hank looked up to see her coming through the door. Mike was busy at the stove so focused on what he was doing that he was oblivious to what was happening behind him. She reached behind her and took Chet by the hand leading him up behind Mike then whispering in his ear. The others just sat back to watch the show.

Izzy got right behind Mike, who was busy stirring a wonderful smelling spaghetti sauce while Chet stood right behind her and just off to the side. That put him in Mike's peripheral vision with her hidden behind him.

"Smells great Mikey," Chet said casually.

He didn't turn around. "Fifteen minutes."

When Mike felt fingers lazily tickling his back he froze and shot his eyes instantly to Chet. The lineman quickly put his hands behind his back and shrugged his shoulders.

"What?"

"Go away Chet," Mike grumbled as he went back to buttering the bread.

This time the hand slid around his waist and Mike jumped back a couple of feet. "Chet! I'm gonna kill you!"

Izzy had to jump just as fast to miss Mike knocking her down and her reflexes just weren't that quick yet. As she was landing on the floor Mike spun around with shock to see her, then worry he'd hurt her. She sat on her bottom and laughed as he reached down to help her up.

"Don't yell at him, it was my idea," she said quickly.

The others were laughing too at this point and Mike relaxed just glad to see her. Putting his arms around her he wrapped her with a big hug and snuck in a kiss. Then he started realizing that she shouldn't even be there.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm always glad to see you and I'm really glad Chet wasn't trying to hit on me, but why are you here?"

Marco pulled her a chair out, which she took with a nod of thanks, and joined them at the table for dinner.

"Things settled down at work for a while and since I'd put in extra hours this week they sent me home early. I thought I'd be sneaky and come see you, then the car died and I had to walk."

"Sorry hon. I'll look at the car first thing in the morning," he said as he put dinner on the table. "Hey, Johnny here says the cabin is ours since he can't make it up."

She raised her eyebrows. "Johnny are you sure? We can reschedule for another time."

He waved her off. "No, you guys go and enjoy it. I know the guy and can get it anytime. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend."

Izzy looked at the heap of spaghetti in front of her and gingerly twirled her fork into it.

"Kanda sent pictures for you. Don't let me forget to give them to you," Mike said then took a big bite of bread.

That led to a discussion of the previous camping trip, which lead to a discussion on ants in Johnny's kitchen then strangely enough to Chet's mild obsession with flour.

"Eat up, Mike's spaghetti dinner doesn't last long around here," Hank said.

She let her fork play in the food a bit, but just didn't feel very hungry. "I'm more worried about clean up. I'm terrible at cards."

Chet perked up. "Well now, we will be happy to offer our assistance in that area."

Izzy laughed. "Oh, I bet you would." She pointed her fork at him. "Just watch out if I'm ever the one picking the game."

Chet got quiet then when Mike nearly snorted his noodles everyone laughed at the look on the poor man's face.

"What?"

"Give it up Chet, you are so out classed here it's not even funny," Johnny said as he stood up and put his plate in the sink.

The table was quickly cleared as everyone finished up and Mike took Izzy's place with a tisk of his tongue. She went to the phone and quickly called her friend Melanie for a ride back home then turned to find Mike right beside her. Without speaking he took her hand and led her to the couch to sit and wait. The others had pulled their chairs up around the TV for the newest episode of Adam-12 and as they sat quietly she leaned against him resting her head on his shoulder.

Turning to face her he cupped her cheek with his hand. "Tell me what's wrong," he whispered to her.

"Nothing just tired. Too many hours this week at work, guess I'm gonna have to learn to say no sometimes." She gave him a reassuring smile.

For a while it was peaceful and sitting hand in hand they watched Chet and Johnny argue over who was the bad guy while Hank and Roy just shook their heads. Marco was threatening to change the channels and Henry was snoring through it all.

* * *

As Mike kissed the strawberry smelling hair he wondered if life could get any better.

Mike finished loading up backpack with lunch items and extra water bottles before checking to see if Izzy was ready to go. Wandering down the hall he peeked in the bathroom to check on her. Shrugging at her not being in there he went to the bedroom where he found her fast asleep.

Sitting down on the side of the bed she stirred, but didn't wake up.

"Hey there sleepy head, time to get up."

She peeked her eyes open and stretched. "Thought we weren't leaving until eight."

He chuckled. "And it's eight thirty."

She quickly sat up. "Oh no, didn't you wake me?"

With raised eyebrows he nodded. "Yes, several times." He kissed her sweetly. "Don't worry; we have no time schedule here to keep. Take your time."

The cabin they got through Johnny's friend was very basic with two bedrooms, two baths, a fairly well stocked kitchen and huge stone fireplace. There were no fancy frills or added features; there wasn't even a TV here. It was perfect and Izzy loved it.

They were low enough in elevation that the air was cold at night, but snow was only in the upper elevations at this time of year. From her bedroom window there was a virtual sea of evergreen trees with pine needles softly covering the ground underneath them. Colors shimmered through etches in the glass forming rainbows over the walls of the bedroom.

She sat up and stretched and patted the bed to thank it for such a wonderful night of rest. Even though she seemed to do nothing but work and sleep recently she felt guilty for not getting up earlier. They had both earned this weekend away. He had spent the last week battling forest fires and she battling an over full unit of victims. They were both tired and ready for some respite.

"Let's get going Iz," she told herself as she shook away the cobwebs in her brain.

Cold water to the face, a couple of aspirin, fresh clothes and she declared herself ready to go. Mike was in the living room restocking the firewood pile for their return in the evening and when she came into the room his eyes lit up.

She leaned against the hallway wall. "What are you grinning about?"

He stuck his hands in his back pockets. "Well now it seems I have a lot to smile about these days."

She looked serious. "Oh you do now do you?"

He took a few steps towards her. "Uh hmm."

Putting her arms behind her back she took a few steps towards him. "Like what?"

"My health," he shrugged as he took a few more steps.

She did the same, nodding her head. "Health is good. Anything else?"

"Boots. I really like my new boots." He looked down to them, and then took three more steps.

Two steps. "They say boots make a man. But, takes more than boots to make you happy."

His next step put him face to face with her and the smile crept back onto his face. "Want to know what makes me happy?"

"Yes," she breathlessly whispered to him.

Taking his hands he clasped her head, his fingers intertwining in her hair and kissed her with all the love and passion he had for her. She was momentarily stunned by his intensity, but that didn't last long and she quickly let herself feel lost in his emotion.

The trailhead was well worn and clearly marked with stones along the way as they left the cabin long behind. Crisp morning air hugged them as the sun kept them warm. Although her legs were nearly as long as his Izzy struggled to keep up with energetic pace.

"When's lunch?" She asked to gain his attention.

He laughed. "Hungry already?"

She stopped in the middle of the trail and dropped her backpack to the ground. "It's your fault I've worked up an appetite so early in the day."

Turning around he was going to tease her, but caught the hint of weariness in her eyes that bothered him. Walking up he picked up her pack and kissed her cheek. "It's just a little bit further. I'll help you."

With a smile she started walking beside him and together they reached the end of the trail which opened up into a breathtaking view of the higher mountain range before them. The sunlight shimmered off the evergreens and the glistening snow of the stark elevations.

"It's so beautiful," she said standing on the edge.

He took her hand and pulled her back to the lunch he had set out. "It's beautiful back here too."

She laughed at him. "No playing on the edge huh?"

"Next trip," he said with a wink.

They laid on a boulder that jutted out from the mountain side like a massive thorn on a rose soaking in the warmth and talking about plans for their future. For a short time all the worries of home, Sue, work, and detail planning fell to the wayside and allowed them moments of repose.

Izzy popped one of her cassettes as she worked in the kitchen while Michael was outside gathering wood for the evening fire. It was their last night at the cabin before heading back to real life and work. She had a special dinner planned for them and had officially banned him from the kitchen while she worked.

The beat started and she closed her eyes feeling the rhythm take over her body. Michael always made fun of her for her extremes ranges in music choices, but she loved all music so much. As Queen started playing the choir song of _Somebody to Love_ she lost herself in the music.

Mike could hear the stereo from outside and instantly knew she was feeling better. Music was as much a part of who she was as firefighting was to him. He never questioned it although he sometimes shook his head at her choices until she sang and owned them then he was sold and a fan.

_Somebody, somebody  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?_

He laughed at her newest choice_, Queen._ In so many ways it was so her. Moving up to the living room window he watched her sway and dance with rising passion as the music worked towards its crescendo. Her hands went into the air and her voice soared to a soprano high that made him catch his breath.

_I'm okay, I'm alright  
Ain't gonna face no defeat_

He watched her twirl and sing to outmatch the passion of any southern gospel choir. She glowed with happiness. As the song came towards the end she stumbled and fell. Mike raced around the corner of the house and up the stairs in one jump, pushing the door open.

Once he reached the kitchen she was already trying to get back up.

"Are you okay?" He asked with concern.

She laughed. "Guess I got a little carried away with my song."

He laughed back. "Well, you were really into it."

She looked at him with a mix of shock and embarrassment. "You were watching me?"

He reached out and brushed her hair from her face he smiled. "Do you really expect me to just ignore that voice and," he said as he raised one eyebrow, "your dancing?"

She smacked him in the chest with the dish rag. "Stalker."

"I'm only a victim to your wiles Ms. Newman."

Shaking her head she turned around and swallowed hard as she momentarily closed her eyes. "Now, skedaddle so I can finish dinner."

For a few seconds he stood there and watched her. "You're okay?"

Rotating back to him she smiled at him and surprised him with a quick kiss. "I'm fine. Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes."

* * *

Two days had not been long enough for either of them, but reality was calling them back and it was time to pack up and head down to civilization. Mike was loading boxes into the truck as she changed the sheets on the bed and put away the freshly washed linens. Turning on her heels she found herself staggering and reaching for the bedpost as another wave of dizziness hit her like a brick wall. With one hand on the post she slid to the floor and closed her eyes fighting off the wave of nausea.

Mike walked down the hallway. "I've got everything packed up I think, ready?" When he crossed into the room he saw her siting on the floor and rushed to her side.

"Iz?!"

She shook her head. "I'm okay, I just tripped." She looked up and smiled. "Leave it to me."

He helped her stand up where she dusted off her bottom. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." She tried to ignore the flutter in her chest. "Let's get going."

The ride home was quiet and as she softly sang with the radio it was obvious he was upset with her. She didn't lie, she felt fine now, for the most part though she still felt bad that the trip was ending on this note. Sliding across the seat she leaned against him and was relieved when he slid his arm around her.

"Please don't be mad at me."

She felt the sigh leave him as he kissed the top of her head. "Never mad, just worried. It's been nearly three weeks since you were sick and you're still just not back to par."

"I'll see Doc Morgan when we get back. I promise."

* * *

Izzy buttoned up her shirt as the elderly family doctor tucked the stethoscope into his coat pocket.

"Mono? Really?" She asked.

"You've got all the symptoms. It just takes time to recover your energy back from it."

Yes, she knew what mono was, the 'kissing' disease.

"Oh man. I hope I'm not contagious still."

He shook his head. "Only when you were home and sick. This is just the recovery part. Continue to take it easy and don't overdo it."

She snickered.

"Yes, I know exactly how you are. I've been taking care of you since you were born. I mean it Izzy, slow down for a while. You'll know when you can handle more."

"I will," she sighed with resignation. "At least I'm not contagious since I've been back to work. No tests or labs?"

He scoffed at her. "I've been doing this for forty years. Don't need any labs or tests to tell me what mono is."

Heading out to her car from the doctor's office she hesitated then kept walking. The symptoms fit and explained her constant exhaustion. Knowing Michael was at still at work she headed into her own job for the evening.

Maybe things could finally get back to normal. The holidays were just around the corner and the clock was ticking quickly for their set date in March.


	27. Chapter 27

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. ~Oprah Winfrey

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: Some very excellent perceptions out there. This chapter will answer all the mono questions for you._

* * *

Chapter 27

Broken Hearts

Roy pulled the hose line across the bay as Mike worked on the other end. He knew they had just returned from a weekend away and his friend was, well his normal, yet abnormally quiet self.

"Have good weather?"

Mike mumbled yes, but offered no other words. As they continued to work Roy decide to try another tactic.

"Are we still on for ordering tux's on Thursday?"

The preoccupied engineer nodded.

Roy furrowed his brow wondering what had his mind so sidetracked. "I'm glad we decided on the orange ones."

Mike looked up at that. "What?"

"You seem a bit distracted today."

Mike slung the hose end over his shoulder and paused. "Well, something is bothering me."

His tone put Roy on edge. "Anything you want to talk about?"

"What would the symptoms of extreme tiredness, dizzy spells, and no appetite mean?"

Roy paused. "Izzy?"

Mike nodded.

He wanted to blurt out congratulations, but Mike seemed more worried than curious.

"Has she been to the doctor?"

"She went this morning. I kinda forced her into it." Mike dropped the hose and sat down on the side of the engine.

Roy leaned against the squad opposite of him. "What did he say?"

"He says she's recovering from mono and it takes a while."

"Well, sounds like she did the right thing and yea, mono can definitely make you feel wiped out." Roy flipped through his mental catalogue of limited medical knowledge. "How did she do on the trip?"

Mike shrugged. "We walked some and just hung out at the cabin. If we did much she got really tired."

Something didn't sound right to Roy. "I'm not a doctor Mike, but when Joanne's sister had mono she couldn't even get out of bed."

"He thinks it's from when she first got sick, so it has been a while. Would it be better by now?" He could read the hesitation in Roy and it sent his own concerns rising.

"I'm no doctor and people react to illness differently. The important thing is that she's seen someone and you just have to give her time to heal." Roy smiled. "Mono huh?"

Mike shifted his feet. "Isn't that a kissing disease?"

Roy could almost see the wheels turning. "Yes, it is known to be spread from kissing."

Mike got quiet again.

"Mike, that's not the only way it's spread and with her working at the hospital I'm sure she's exposed to pretty much everything viral that goes around."

"Yea, you're right."

"Look, I can't ever picture her doing _anything_ to hurt you."

Mike smiled. "I know and I shouldn't even think that way."

Roy chuckled. "Well, being told you have the 'kissing' disease isn't fun news either."

"Who has mono?"

They both hung their heads down with dread as Chet rounded the squad, hands in his pockets.

"Nobody Chet," Mike said.

Chet subtly bobbed his head up and down. "Uh huh." He looked at them both cautiously and feeling fairly sure neither of them was sick he rethought his words.

"So Mikey, who's Izzy been kissing?"

The look that Mike shot him was as sharp as an arrow and Chet instantly regretted his choice of words. Mike stood up and loomed over him. "I think you need to rephrase that question _pally_."

Chet swallowed hard. "Geez, I was just kidding."

Roy shot Mike a tiny shake of his head in hopes of calming him down.

"Izzy's been sick for a while and the doctor says she has mono." Roy added.

"I thought she was over that." Chet's demeanor had now changed since he actually really liked Izzy a lot.

Mike heard the sincere concern and sat back down. "She is better now, just takes a while apparently."

"Well, tell her I hope she's better soon. Going to the Blue River is a waste of time if she's not there singing."

Mike chuckled at that remembering her singing in the cabin. "Thanks, I'll let her know."

Chet turned to head back to the kitchen mumbling and slapped his hands together. "Now, if Johnny got that …..."

* * *

Izzy worked on the schedule in her office for the rest of the morning. Even though there was no chance of her spreading the germs she still felt the need to put herself out of patient care until her energy level improved. It was her job to make sure the unit was adequately staffed without her.

"Izzy we need you right away," Carole called from outside her door.

Izzy jumped up and ran out to see what was going on. The commotion was coming from room four and when she entered the room all she could see was a blood bath.

"He pulled out his central line," Debbie yelled as she struggled to keep the older man's arms from flailing everywhere.

"Get his arms restrained!" Izzy ordered as each nurse basically put their bodies on his arms to hold them until they could be tied down.

She reached up and pushed the code button to alert the hospital they needed emergency help. Then quickly she pressed her fingers against the man's right jugular vein in his neck and pressed down hard. With her other hand she reached over and rolled the adjustor on the IV fluids to rapidly increase his volume.

Brackett responded to the code and came running in first along with one of the surgical residents. Izzy continued to hold pressure while the others gathered the emergency supplies needed to stop the bleeding.

"You're doing great, just keep holding the pressure," Kel said to her as he worked.

Despite the blood loss the man fought back hard with an adrenaline that surprised them all. Sedation, blood, saline pushes were all ordered and the room became a trauma ER right before their very eyes.

Two hours later the patient was stabilized, receiving his sixth unit of blood in addition to bolus fluids to improve his blood pressure. The mess had been cleaned up and Kel finished up the paperwork at the nurse's station.

"Where's Izzy?" he asked Carole.

"She's already headed home. That about did her in and I was afraid she was going to pass out."

Kel knitted his brow together. "What do you mean?"

Carole shrugged. "You know, she's been sick for a month now."

This was news to him. "With what?"

The older nurse laughed. "Mono."

Kel grinned. "Ahh, well, please tell her that was an excellent job you ladies did in there."

Carole smiled at the rare compliment. "Thank you Dr. Brackett. I'll be sure to let her know."

* * *

"A girl could get use to this treatment you know," Izzy said as Mike brought her some ice cream where she relaxed on the couch.

"Well, after the day it sounds like you had at work I thought it was the least I could do." He sat down beside her and let her legs lay across his while he flipped through the channels.

"This?"

She watched the screaming teen run through the woods alone. "I don't think so."

"This?" He asked again.

The elevator was racing to the top of the shaft while full of screaming people who knew they were about to die. She just glared at him as she pushed herself deeper into the couch.

"Hey look, I only have so much control over what there is to watch," he laughed.

She yawned and he knew what that meant. "Ready for bed?"

She frowned a bit. "I'm sorry."

He tilted his head. "Sorry for what? It's not your fault you got sick so stop apologizing."

"I know. It's just annoying is all. I'm tired of being tired. Talk about putting a kink in all the stuff I need to do and I all the things I want to do and I hate not being there for you."

They had tried to go running, but she would tire so quickly they had yet to even make it to the park and always had to walk back. She also had yet to get back to singing on a regular basis at the club. Too much work, too little music and play was leading Izzy to frustration.

He gently rubbed her legs. "I'm happy to be here with you for any reason even its just to sit and watch TV. We have plenty of time to get back to the other stuff so stop worrying, okay?"

She smiled. "Now I know why I fell in love with you."

* * *

Payroll was complete and she pushed her chair back from the desk. The little office had been remodeled and the last remnants of earlier strife were long gone as new pictures adorned the walls and fresh paint brought life back into it. The court date was now set for after the New Year and she prayed it would be the last of her dealings with Sue. As she put away the ledger she pulled out the envelope full of pictures and flipped through them with a smile on her face.

"Pictures from the party?"

She looked up to see her dad standing there. "Yea, the party, our camping trip, some from just around home and I got the ones back from our trip to the cabin."

Sitting down on the new couch he stretched his legs out and listened as she described each one.

"Look honey, I know you've been under par so don't feel obligated to sing tonight if you're not ready."

"I'm ready dad. You'd never believe how much I've missed it."

He stood up with a huge smile on his face. "Oh, I'd believe it. Okay, it's up to you and I know I've sure as heck have missed hearing your voice up there." He winked at her.

She laughed. "Okay dad, see you tonight."

After he left she sat behind the desk and felt bad about not really letting him know how she'd been feeling. It had taken everything she had to show up and do payroll while putting on the 'I feel great' façade while only thinking how she couldn't wait to get back home and crawl in bed.

Looking at the clock she had plenty of time to rest before opening. Michael was at work so for a while there would be no one to interrupt her.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower she dried off and sat on the side of the bed. One would think that a seven hour nap would leave you bursting with energy, but she knew different by now. All she could do was curse the word mono under her breath as a constant mantra these days. She was definitely sick and tired of being sick and tired. Looking at her calendar she decided to call in the morning for another appointment with Dr. Morgan to see why she wasn't feeling any better yet.

A light salad and a dirty bowl that just added to the dishes in the sink caused her to let out a sigh. She promised herself to wash all the dishes and clean up before Michael got off work in the morning. He had done so much to help her out it was time for her to suck it up and do her share again. Guilt riddled her over not being the same person that Mike fell in love with. She felt useless and pathetic. It was a good thing this was temporary because she felt wrong always being on the 'I need' side of the road. This relationship was not going to be one sided anymore.

At the Blue River she instantly fell into the routine of preparing to open for the evening. Looking at the clock she had a few more minutes before the doors were unlocked and that was her usual time for calling Michael at work.

She made sure Jake and his staff had everything he needed for bar set up, that Elisa had the waitress crew ready to go then she headed to the stage to chat with the band about the evening music. It was all customary and she couldn't really understand the anxiety she was feeling inside. It was like having first day stage jitters where you heart flutters, your breaths are quick and that tightness in your chest tells you something crazy is about to happen.

"Oh good Lord Iz," she muttered to herself. "Pull it together it's not been that long since you were here last."

When the bar bell rang it was the signal that everyone had checked in and was ready leaving her dad to open the doors and turn on the sign for the evening. They were expecting a full house since it was the weekend and she was back on stage. As the crowd filtered in the noise level climbed and band got started with upbeat songs while Jake kept the liquor flowing. Walking across the floor she realized how much she loved the place and all the insanity that went with it. Reaching the stage she dipped behind the backdrop and unpacked Bessie with an air of excitement that made her wish more than anything that Michael was there with her.

It was funny how sometimes she just felt a powerful need to know he was there, nearby somewhere and close to her. The butterflies in her stomach pulled her back from her musing. Standing behind the side stage curtain she let the adrenaline and joy of being back here pulse through and energize her.

She planned to start with a slow love song, the same one she sang to Mike at their engagement party. It hadn't really been her intention to take any stage time that night, but he had asked her to sing for his mother who had never heard her except for at his bedside. The sight of him sitting with his mom, her holding his hand, being teary as she sang to the man she loved had been a moment she would never forget.

Tonight none of them were there, the fella's were on shift, and his parents had returned home. Her audience held other familiar faces, family and casual friends who waited with anticipation. Once she started singing she felt at home again in all senses of the word. With a burst of energy she signaled for the next song that was known to fill the dance floor and put a sweat on her brow. She was ready.

Jake and Dan watched her from the bar both incredibly happy to see her back to what she loved to do. Those who knew her knew music was built into her DNA and if she had to go without it for very long she would wither and wilt. As she danced across the stage the lights shimmered while the dance crowd hooted and hollered to the beat of her rhythm. For a while things seemed happily back to normal.

By the forth song Dan glanced over to Jake with a frown on his face. Only someone who really knew her would know that something was off, it was subtle, but it was there.

"Jake?" Her father said as he found himself moving away from the bar and straight towards her.

It surprised her when she faltered on the words to a song that she had sung a hundred times before and though she quickly resumed the beat it flustered her none the less. Finding her father in the crowd she wondered why he was coming her way and even more puzzled by the look on his face. The more her heart raced the more her chest hurt and suddenly that dizzy lightheaded feeling came over her making her lose focus on the room in front of her. Knowing this was the worst time possible for a dizzy spell she tried to keep her footing by grabbing onto the microphone stand to regain balance.

Then she saw her father running towards her, his lips were moving, but she couldn't hear him, she wasn't hearing anything anymore.

He couldn't move fast enough and his own heart was pounding out of his chest. She looked lost, disoriented then her hand clutched her chest. But the most terrifying sight a father could see was watching her stumble then collapse off the side of the stage, right over a table and to the floor.

* * *

Johnny leaned back in the chair with his elbow propped up on the arm, a scowl on his face. "Since when are tens wild cards?" He was now completely lost as to the rules of the game.

Chet ticked his tongue while shaking his head as if admonishing a child. "You have to pay attention. Now tens are wild, fours trump queens and if you get all the even cards you have a flush."

"I thought we couldn't make up rules anymore," Mike said warily.

Hank pushed his cards to the center of the table. "Pretty sure that's what we agreed on."

"This isn't made up!" Chet yelped with an indignant whine.

"Really Chet? Exactly where is this game from then?" Marco snapped.

Chet held his hand close to his chest. "This game, my friends, is from ancient Russia handed down through generations in my family."

Johnny laughed. "So now your family is Russian? What happened to Indian Princess Lore?"

"You Johnny boy are just jealous of my diversity and expert card playing skills."

Roy pushed the chair back. "I think I'd rather just do dishes than to have to keep listening to this."

Hank laughed as he stood up. "I'm with Roy. Or we could just make Chet do the dinner dishes to make up for the last hour of torture we've endured."

"Now that makes sense, Chet's cooking and torture in the same sentence," Marco added.

When the phone rang Hank was closest to grab it although he knew who it would be for. Mike stood up and tossed his cards into the pile with the others as Hank got quiet on the phone. The smile faded from his face as he watched his Captain talk.

"Listen, don't move her, call for an ambulance and we'll be right there."

Everyone froze.

"Cap?" Mike stuttered out.

"Izzy's collapsed off the stage and is unconscious."

Chet ran straight to call the still alarm in while the others ran to the trucks. There was no more banter, no more casual conversation and for Mike there was only pure panic in his heart as they pulled into the night.

* * *

Johnny and Roy reached the club first, pulling up to the curb forcing bystanders outside to scurry out of the way and back to the sidewalk. The lack of celebration in the air was readily sensed as heaviness filled the faces of the crowd. Something was deeply wrong. Silently they gathered the boxes and began to work their way into the doors and through the crowd.

The dance floor had been cleared; the band wasn't playing but instead stood beside the stage with looks of worry and apprehension. They found Izzy on the floor with Jake on one side and her father on the other. Jake held a cloth to the side of her head.

"What happened?" Johnny quickly asked as they both began a rapid assessment on her.

Her father was visibly shaken. "She seemed dizzy, almost confused looking, like she didn't know where she was. Then she just collapsed and fell. She's been out of it until just a minute ago. Her eyes opened, but she won't talk to us."

Roy looked at her closely. She was lying on her back. There was a small laceration and bruise to her temple where Jake held pressure though the bleeding was minimal. Her eyes were open but it was apparent she wasn't really seeing them. Instead she seemed frightened and bewildered with short gasping breaths that seemed starving for air and her face grimaced as if in pain.

"Roy," Johnny said quietly and instantly caught his attention. "Her pulse."

Roy reached down and felt her wrist then moved to her neck. It was too fast to count. Her color was very pale with a dusky undertone that spoke of subtle oxygen deprivation.

Everyone looked up to see the others pushing their way through the crowd and come to stand beside them. Mike instantly went to her head and began calling to her only getting more upset when she didn't respond back to him.

"Mike," Johnny said calmly. "I need you to keep her calm."

Roy looked up to Hank. "Cap, we need the oxygen and the defibrillator."

Mikes head jerked up, Chet and Marco froze in their tracks while Hank's heart grew heavy. "Chet, Marco."

No answer was needed and the men disappeared into the crowd.

Johnny worked on vital signs. "80/50, respirations 30 and labored."

"Does she have a history of any heart problems?" Roy asked her father.

His eyes grew wider. "Oh God, it's her heart?"

Roy shook his head. "No, we don't know that, but right now her heart is beating very fast."

The man shook his head. "No, she's always been healthy."

Mike nodded. "Would mono cause this?"

Roy wasn't ready to answer that question just yet and as Marco and Chet returned with equipment he redirected his focus on her.

Johnny already had the com on and the call going through for help as Chet put the oxygen on her and Marco helped pull out needed supplies.

"Go ahead 51," it was Joe Early's voice that responded.

"Rampart, we have a female victim, 25 years of age who collapsed following a dizzy spell with disorientation. She has a history of being sick with a virus approximately three weeks ago and was diagnosed with mono this week. Vital signs are 80/50, respirations 30 labored with acute shortness of breath. Rampart we have her on lead two, sending now with what appears to be atrial fibrillation. Pulses are extremely weak and rapid. Her color is markedly pale with cyanosis and we now have her on ten liters of oxygen at this time. Doc, the patient is Izzy Newman."

"Understood 51, concur with atrial fib. Is she conscious?"

Roy had not gotten a response from her except with a sternal rub which elicited a groan.

"Negative Rampart, her eyes are open, but she is otherwise unresponsive to any stimuli except sternal rub."

"51, counter shock with 100 watts, begin IV of LR at 100cc an hour."

"10-4 Rampart, counter shock at 100 with IV LR at 100," Johnny repeated back.

Roy pulled out the paddles and turned on the machine. Mike's hand shot out over her chest, blocking Roy's access to her.

"You're not going to shock her while she's awake are you?" He was horrified at what was happening.

Roy's voice got very low and quiet. "Mike, this rhythm is killing her. We don't have time to get an IV and wait for sedation. This has to be done."

Mike rocked back on his heels in complete shock. _Killing her_?

Roy placed the paddles in position. "Clear!"

The shock was mild and her body didn't jolt like Mike expected it too. His eyes remained riveted to the monitor with everyone else's.

The rhythm converted.

Johnny was back on the phone. "A fib has been converted Rampart. We are now seeing a significant arrhythmia."

"Agreed 51. Begin an Amiodarone drip and transport as soon as possible."

"10-4 Rampart."

Marco had pulled out IV supplies as Roy secured the needle and taped down the catheter now in good placement. Johnny was preparing the anti-arrhythmia medication when Izzy began to stir some.

Mike kept whispering in her ear and when her eyes opened they immediately tracked to him. "Izzy?"

"Michael?"

"Izzy, can you hear me?" Roy leaned in close to her.

She nodded then grimaced. Her breaths were still short though her color had improved some. "Chest…hurts."

"I need you to relax okay; we're taking good care of you."

Her eyes reflected the confusion that she felt. "What….happened?"

"Do you remember falling?" Mike asked her.

Creases wrinkled her brow and she didn't answer him.

"It's okay baby," he said choking back the fear that gripped his heart.

"I…feel…" She whispered to no one in particular.

Roy leaned in again. "What Izzy? Tell us."

The monitor had beeped irregular beats, a constant stream of haphazard tones that made your own heart crave to steady the rhythm.

"Strange…"

Roy's eyes shot to Johnny as they watched her eyes close and her breaths grow quiet. Johnny put his hand on her stomach to determine respirations.

"Izzy!" He called to her. "Breathe for me."

There was no response and the monitor rate slowed to a near stop.

Then it did.

"Rampart, patient is in full arrest," Johnny called into the bio-com.

Chet sat beside Mike, without displacing him he began the needed ventilations as Roy began chest compressions. The cycles of breaths and compressions continued as Johnny drew up the medications and pushed them as quick as they were ordered. Standing back and pausing Roy reassessed the rhythm which now had changed to V-tach allowing them to shock her with increased voltage this time. When the monitor changed back to the irregular pattern they quickly pushed additional bicarb and fluids.

Behind them Hank almost paced as he watched his crew work to save someone they had all come to know and care for. When the ambulance attendants could be seeing working their way through the crowd Hank and Marco quickly made room for them.

"Roy, you and Johnny both ride with her. Take Mike. Marco will take in the squad and we'll be right behind you."

"I'll get the car," Dan said.

It was unprecedented, but it was understandable under the circumstances. It was clear that Mike was in his own state of numbness and unable to drive the engine. Separating him from her now would only lead to a fight, something they did not have time for. Packing her up as fast as possible they climbed into the ambulance.

No words were spoken, for what do you say at this point? Hank simply slammed the doors closed and gave the signal to send them on their way.

She rested with closed eyes, still on her oxygen since she was struggling, but at least breathing. The monitor beeped with the constant reminder that this arrhythmia could threaten her life again at any moment. Johnny sat at her head with Mike leaning in holding her hand and Roy on the end keeping Rampart constantly updated on what was going on. Words came from Mike even if not in the form of full sentences. Just simple utterances of how? What? And Why? The problem was Johnny and Roy had no answers either and knew that only time would reveal what had brought her to this devastating situation.

The ambulance doors swung open to the waiting faces of Dixie, Joe and Kel. Without hesitation they rushed Izzy and the men into the first trauma room where nurses, lab, x-ray and respiratory therapy stood waiting and ready.

"She's been exhausted, sleeping all the time. She gets out of breath going up the stairs to her apartment and I think she's had dizzy spells before, but just denied them when I asked her," Mike updated the doctors.

"When was she diagnosed with mono?" Joe asked him.

"Just this week when she went to see Dr. Morgan. Is this from the mono?" Mike replied.

Kel shook his head with his own medical judgment knowing that something more serious was going on. "And she tested positive for it?"

Mike shrugged. "I wasn't there so I don't know what kind of tests he did."

Kel leaned down to her. "Izzy, can you hear me?"

She opened her eyes with pain etched into her expression reflecting the pain in her chest.

"Did Dr. Morgan test you for mono?"

She shook her head.

"Where are you hurting?" He asked

"Chest," she gasped.

Joe pulled out the rhythm strip. "Increase the Amiodarone drip."

"Kel, her blood pressure is still down, 85/52," Dixie reported.

Low blood pressure, abnormal heart rhythm, chest pain, shortness of breath, dizzy spells, and extreme prolonged fatigue were symptoms that Joe and Kel quickly pieced together.

"Get some Dopamine going, we've got to get that blood pressure up and let's get Cardiology down here stat."

Mike pressed his back against the cool tile wall. "It's her heart?"

"We don't know that yet Mike, but we need to find out what's going on quickly. Her chest x-ray shows her heart is enlarged and her lungs are holding extra fluid. We'll get an EKG next and see if we can put all these puzzle pieces together and get her to feeling better."

Mike was overwhelmed as he watched her on the exam table.

"Roy?" Kel said with a nod in Mike's direction.

Roy knew what the doctor wanted. "Come on Mike, let's go get some coffee."

His eyes shot to Roy like he had lost his ever loving mind. "I'm _not _leaving."

His voice softened. "Let them do their job pally. It'll take a while to get the testing done and she needs to rest as much as possible. We won't go far."

With a sigh of resignation Mike walked over and leaned down to her. "Please don't leave me," he whispered then let his lips linger on her cheek with a tender kiss.

Johnny and Roy quietly updated Hank and the others on where they were so far, which was still in the waiting game. Waiting in the doctor's lounge they nursed lukewarm cups of old coffee without even really drinking anything. Soon after the engine's arrival her father joined them.

The wait felt eternal.

When the door finally opened all eyes looked up to see Kel come in with another man dressed in scrubs that they did not recognize. Their attention turned to Mike and her father.

"How is she," Mr. Newman asked cautiously.

Kel motioned to the other doctor. "This is Dr. Maslin. He's head of the Cardiology department here. This is Izzy's father, Dan Newman and her fiancé Michael Stoker."

The physician looked around at the room full of dressed out firemen with some confusion.

"It's okay, they are here for her too," her father said proudly.

The man nodded. "She's experienced another abnormal cardiac rhythm and we've had to place her on a ventilator."

Mike sat down heavily on the couch and put his head into his hands.

"We were able to convert the rhythm but we're still trying to stabilize her irregular heart rate and low blood pressure with medications."

"What's caused this?" Roy asked.

"Preliminary testing is pointing to cardiomyopathy."

Mike looked up and caught the quick exchange between the medics and the look sent a chill of fear through him. "I don't understand. What is that?"

Dr. Maslin continued. "We think that the virus she experienced earlier attacked her heart causing infection around the heart and damage."

"Damage?" Mike whispered.

"Yes, the dizzy spells, shortness of breath, palpitations were all symptoms caused by her progressive heart failure."

Hank's eyes grew wide as he watched Roy looked to the floor and take a few steps back.

"Failure?" Her father's voice shook. "I don't understand, how, she's a healthy person. This is crazy."

Kel stepped in seeing the frustration in the father's eyes. "Even in a healthy person a virus can lead to damage of the heart. A lot of times the symptoms are barely noticeable. The person my just complain of fatigue and nothing else. However, sometimes the damage is more significant causing symptoms that spell failure. The diagnosis of mono was incorrect, but it didn't delay her treatment. Unfortunately, by then the damage was already done."

"Doc, how bad is the damage?" Johnny asked the question they all feared the answer too.

"We'll do more intensive testing when she stabilizes, but it seems to have affected her conduction system which is causing all the arrhythmias. Right now her heart is very weak, functioning at about forty percent of normal, but with time she can recover function."

Mike stood up. "So, she'll be okay? With time?"

Dr. Maslin let out a deep breath. "We have to get her past this crisis. Her condition is critical then it will take careful management of her medications and monitoring of her heart function. But, the answer to your question is yes she can recover from this. Everyone will just have to be very patient with her until her heart can rebuild its strength."

"I need to see her," Mike said feeling an intense need to get out of that room.

Kel nodded. "Of course. They've moved her upstairs to CCU. Dixie will take you up there now."

Once Dixie left with Mike and Dan the engine crew headed back to the station and Hank had already put in calls for a replacement for Mike. Johnny and Roy lingered behind until Dr. Maslin was gone.

"Doc, how bad is this?" Roy asked.

"It's difficult to say long term, that will depend on how significant the damage is. For the short term, she's got a rough twenty four hours ahead of her."


	28. Chapter 28

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

Even when the future's not certain, our hearts can still be certain — of love and happiness and all that's good. ~Terri Guillemets

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: Thank you to all that have PM'd me. You guys are great! _

* * *

Chapter 28

Together We Stand

Mike and Dan followed Dixie through the double door of the Cardiac Care Unit. It was a fairly large unit and on that particular day every room was full. Dixie gestured to them as she reached her door, allowing them to enter first.

Inside the lights were half dimmed with a small overhead light above her bed providing most of the light. Mike approached her cautiously and with a heavy heart. Both of her arms were outside the sheet and as he took her hand he broke down beside her. Dixie slid a chair behind him as she explained the monitors, multiple medication drips, sedation and ventilator.

She laid so very still, her red hair in stark contrast to the nearly translucent pallor of her skin. Just looking at her you knew that something very serious was wrong.

"Please baby, fight this …." His voice trailed off as her father approached from the other side.

She had nearly thrown her life away with stupid mistakes growing up, but Dan knew his daughter and her desire to live was strong. Watching the man that loved her so much grasp her hand and pledge to never leave her side would give her the strength to come back to them. Of that he had no doubt. Leaning down he whispered into her ear, kissed her on the forehead then quietly left the room allowing Mike to have some alone time with her.

When his visitation time was up her nurse promised that he could return after shift change had occurred so he wandered back into the waiting room. He was surprised to see Dan standing there talking to Kanda and Emily.

Each one gave him a hug and told them how sorry they were at what had happened.

"Johnny and Roy got called out, but said they would check back as soon as they could," Emily told him. Hank had called her right away. "We're here for anything you need."

He just nodded, still in a mild state of shock himself and now that the adrenaline was gone he realized how exhausted he truly was so for the next half hour they waited quietly together each in their own personal revere. When the doors opened again they all looked up to see an older nurse come to greet them.

"Mr. Stoker?" She said kindly.

He stood up, "That's me. Is everything okay?"

The nurse smiled at him. "Yes hon, she's stable. I'm Eileen and I'm going to be Izzy's nurse for the night. Would you like to come back in and sit with her?"

The hours passed with what seemed to be a nonstop progression of traffic in and out of the room. If it wasn't a nurse giving her an IV medication, it was one adjusting the fluids, or taking vital signs or even respiratory therapy monitoring her ventilation. Each time unnerving him shooting more anxiety through his heart.

"Doing okay?"

Mike looked up to see Kanda standing there with a fresh cup of coffee for him in her hand. He took it with gratitude.

"I don't know. I don't really understand all they're doing." His voice sounded small and lost.

Kanda pulled up a chair and sat down beside him. "I talked to Dr. Maslin and I can try and answer any questions you have about what happened."

"She was getting better," he faltered. "I thought she was. I don't understand how it got so bad so fast."

She shook her head. "I think she was keeping a lot of it from everyone, trying to not be a bother."

"I should have seen something was wrong."

Kanda knew this was coming. "You did Mike and you sent her to the doctor. That's all anyone could do. You can't beat yourself up about this. She needs all positive energy right now. I looked at her studies and she has a good chance of reversing the damage with medications. So no giving up."

Shaking his head with a small smile. "I don't think there's a single part of me that could ever give up on her for any reason."

She patted his leg. "Good, that's exactly what she needs to hear. I'm going to get you some breakfast before I head to work, so I'll be back in just a few."

"Thank you Kanda, for everything."

Standing up she hugged him. "Anytime and don't forget it."

After breakfast he returned to her room and sat down just as Maslin came in. He browsed through her chart, listened to her heart and lungs, mumbled a few things to the nurses then finally turned to the anxiety filled Mike behind him.

"All in all she has done better than I really expected through the night. Her numbers have stabilized and the escalation of medications has finally leveled off." He sat down in the chair across from Mike. "I'm going to let her wake up today, but don't expect much. She'll spend the next month having the hours of a newborn baby, pretty much sleeping all the time."

Mike was already feeling strength from within. He was going to let her wake up. "How long?"

The doctor cocked his head not exactly sure what he specifically was referring to. "Well, at least a week here in CCU, perhaps another one to two weeks inpatient before discharge home. After that she's looking at weeks of rest."

Mike nodded. Just the fact that he was optimistic enough to plan for her to go home was incredible at this point. He no longer cared at how long as long as he got her back home. "Thanks doc."

* * *

Each time he stepped out to the waiting room someone was there, either from the station or from the saloon, and often both. Nurses from different departments, especially the burn unit and pediatrics had started coming to check on her and offer support. It was uplifting to see so many folks express concern and love for her.

This particular break he found himself alone in the family waiting area and leaned his head back against the wall. Just a moment to close his eyes was all he needed.

"Momma sent this to you," Marco said, standing there with a plate of home cooking.

Mike sat up in the waiting room chair and stretched trying to get the kink out of his neck. They didn't offer the best sleeping arrangements at the hospital. "Thanks Marco." He looked around and saw they were the only ones there at the moment.

"Johnny went to get some fresh coffee."

Mike nodded. He couldn't really keep up with the coming and going of people though he was grateful for everyone's support. Uncovering the plate he hated to admit that it smelled wonderful and stirred up the hunger from deep down. Looking up he saw Marco holding a fork with a smile.

"Dig in Pally."

With a smile he did just that. "Tell her thanks Marco, this is really good."

"Sure will." He watched his friend with concern. "Is this where you're sleeping?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes, sometimes in there with her."

Moving around the row of chairs Marco sat down across from Mike. "She's one lucky woman."

Mike rolled his eyes. "Yea, right."

"No, really, I mean it."

He understood what his friend meant. "I'm pretty lucky myself."

His friend nodded with agreement and seemed in deep thought.

Mike put the plate down and leaned back in the chair, stretching out his long legs to cross them. "She's out there."

Marco looked up. "Not so sure about that anymore."

"What about Ceria? What happened to her? I thought you two were getting kinda serious."

He shrugged. "We were til I worked overtime at 86." He shook his head. "She just couldn't deal with my long work hours."

Mike nodded. "Well, when you're not looking she'll show up."

"Who'll show up?" Johnny asked as he strolled from the elevator with three cups of coffee.

Mike reached up for his, as did Marco.

"That perfect woman," Marco said taking a careful sip.

Johnny scoffed. "Marco, there ain't no such thing as a perfect woman." He leaned back and pointed his finger. "That's where your problem lies."

Marco shot a look to Mike. "Since when was it a problem?"

Mike shrugged. "Never thought it was."

Johnny tilted his head and frowned. "You too," he stopped and looked to Mike, then to Marco. "Well, you are so busy trying to find the woman to grow old with you're missing all the fun along the way."

"Since you're so old and wise Johnny please share the secrets of the woman's mind," Marco quipped back.

A smile came across his face. "It's all about finding the woman who will …."

"Will what?" Chet asked as he stepped into the line of conversation with Roy.

"Now we're in trouble," Marco mumbled making Mike smile.

Chet shook his head and held his hand out. "No, no, I want to hear the words of womanly wisdom from Johnny here." He sat down and motioned for everyone to be quiet then looked back at Johnny. "Go ahead Johnny, we're all listening."

Johnny sat up and looked a bit flustered as everyone was staring at him. "Well."

"Yes?" Chet said with raised eyebrows.

Johnny brushed him off with his hand. "You couldn't handle my bank of knowledge about women."

"Here we go," Roy mutters to Mike.

Mike chuckled as he took a quick glance at his watch, ever vigilant about visiting hours.

"Chet." He took a deep breath. "Chet, it would be a miracle if you ever found a lady like Mike here found and got married one day."

"Who say's I even want to get married?" Chet looked offended.

Johnny leaned back again. "Well, I do. One day. Not now mind you. But yea, one day.

"Johnny married," Chet said shaking his head. "Now that would be a momentous moment."

"Just make sure she doesn't have six kids," Roy added.

"Three, she only had three," Johnny corrected him.

"That you didn't even know about," Mike reminded him.

"Well, I was working on those details," Johnny said not very convincingly. "Besides, we were supposed to be talking about setting Marco up, not me."

Marco jumped up. "Oh no you don't. I'll find my own lady."

As if able to escape Mike looked at his watch again and jumped up anxious to get back to her. "It's that time again."

The guys nodded. "Tell her we said hey," Johnny said quickly.

"Sure will," he hesitated. "And thanks guy, for you know, being here."

They nodded and smiled back to him. Family, it was that plain and simple to them.

* * *

As the sedation was decreased it didn't take long for her to stir which was a very positive sign according to the nurses although she still had not really woken up. Mike sat with her and pulled out a book that her father had brought from her nightstand. He looked at the title and chuckled.

"The Exorcist?" He shook his head. "Really babe, we're gonna have to discuss your reading choices." He flipped open to the page she had bookmarked.

"_Klein shook his head, his gaze fixed on Regan as the phenomenon continued. She would lift about a foot each time and then fall with a wrenching of her breath, as if unseen hands had picked her up and thrown her down. Chris pressed both her hands to her mouth, staring wildly as the up-and-down movements abruptly ceased and Regan started twisting feverishly from side to side with her eyes rolled upward into their sockets so that only the whites were exposed. "Oh, he's burning me….BURNING me she was moaning as her legs began rapidly crossing and uncrossing_."

Mike was so engrossed in the book he didn't even realize that Dixie was standing there gap mouthed looking at him. She cleared her throat and he nearly leapt out of the chair.

"Oh, sorry Dixie," he said, flushed with embarrassment.

"What are you reading to this child?"

He pursed his lips together and turned the book so she could see the title. She laughed.

"Well, that sounds like her."

He smiled. "How's she doing?"

Dixie nodded. "Holding her own from what I hear. I just came by to bring you this with her things in it."

He took the puffy envelope from her and opened it. There was her driver's license, a picture of them together sitting on her couch, and her engagement ring. He took it out of the envelope and caressed it with his fingers before slipping it onto his pinky.

"Thanks Dix."

"Don't want her losing that, she's going to need it back very soon."

He smiled. Yes, soon.

* * *

It had become routine that they made sure she was never alone. Between him, Dan, Dixie, Kanda, Johnny and Roy everyone was able to have a break and get some food through the day, especially Mike. It was the only way they could get him to leave her side.

Kanda would talk about wedding ideas colors, places, and flowers and such while Dixie kept her up to date on anything exciting in the burn unit or just general hospital gossip. Her dad reported on all the antics of the Blue River while leaving out anything that might stress her since the place just didn't seem to run as smooth without her being there.

The hours blended together, the sun rose and set as he stayed by her side so that even he had to look out the window to decide if it was time to eat or sleep. The next couple of days brought slow but steady progression as she started to wake up more until they finally removed her breathing tube. Mike nearly cried when they finally pulled all that intimidating equipment out of the room and placed her on a much simpler nasal cannula for oxygen support.

"I'm hungry," she rasped through the sore throat and chest congestion.

Mike almost laughed just so glad to finally hear her voice again. "Well, that's nice to hear for a change."

She was lying on her side snuggled under two blankets. "Roy burger with cheese, large fry."

This time he did laugh. "I'm not sure that will fit through you're IV babe, but we can ask."

Izzy smiled then drifted back to sleep.

* * *

"How much does she know?" Roy asked Mike while eating dinner in the café.

He shrugged. "Maslin has told her, but I'm not sure how much of it she's processed. It was kinda odd that she didn't seem upset or anything."

"She's been through a lot. It takes a while to process information and let it sink in when you've been through that kind of trauma."

Not only did Mike think about his own experience waking up, but also about what Roy had been through after his injury. Yes, it would take time and if she did fall apart over what had happened he would be there for her and help her through it all.

Just as she had done for him.

Her ability to talk was limited and her endurance for any physical activity was nonexistent still. Each day was a titration of medication dosing and sleep, lots of sleep. Mike worked with the nurses to make sure she was always comfortable though she never complained about anything. She asked about food, she wanted real food though she didn't have the energy to sit up and eat yet, and there was one more thing she really missed.

"Please Carole?" She said soft and sweetly to her friend from upstairs.

Carole laughed. "I guess the least I can do is sneak in a radio for you."

Izzy beamed. When the act of changing positions in bed was completely exhausting and she was sleeping most of the time the one thing she missed was music. The quiet was the hardest of all times for her. Those times when she would awake to find Michael asleep beside her or those moments between the changing of the guard left her too much time to think.

She'd heard what Maslin said and being a nurse she knew exactly what it meant and what it could mean in the future. That scared her, more than anything she had ever experienced before, it scared her. In the quiet she would watch him sleep and find reassurance in the fact that he was there, his heartfelt dedication to her, and his never ending patience.

That worried her too. She had just made the conscious decision that she couldn't handle a one sided relationship and swore to kick it up a notch and be a better partner. Now what? Maslin talked about weeks of recovery including at least a month off from work, if not more. When you're laid up in bed all you can think of is 'what if this is all I can be?' and is that fair?

* * *

At the end of the first week she was showing visible signs of progress and was stable enough to be moved from the CCU to a private room.

"Oh honey, you look great. You're being so strong." Her father told her.

He had been with her the whole time offering encouragement and support reminding her how lucky she was to have him too.

"Thanks dad, slowly but surely." And honestly she meant it. She was regaining strength and sitting up in bed for meals was helping her to feel more normal each day.

Seeing how weak she was, yet bored, the visitors came by on a steady basis with short stays to keep her spirits up.

"There's no way Chet," she chastised him.

He feigned pain. "Izzy, that hurts. Don't you trust me?"

Her eyes narrowed. "That would depend on if I would want to wash dishes for the next month."

He smirked at her. "You can't expect me to give away all my secrets now can you?"

"True, but you know us ladies; we have secrets of our own." She laid out the hand of cards and smiled back to him.

Mike and Johnny laughed.

"No comments from the peanut gallery," Chet snapped.

Mike turned to Johnny. "Think Cap would let her come play all my hands of cards each shift?"

Chet's eyes got wide. "What?"

Johnny shrugged and nodded. "Don't see why not seeing how she's station family now and all."

"That wouldn't be fair," Chet whined.

They all laughed until Izzy started coughing. Mike jumped up and poured her some water. Panic shot from Chet's eyes worried that they had pushed her too far that day.

She waved at him as she caught her breath. "So' Kay. Medicine makes me cough sometimes."

He nodded but still looked concerned and uncertain as she settled down.

Seeing that he was still unsure she shot him a fierce look. "Deal," she whispered.

Smiling he shuffled the deck and dealt out new hands.

* * *

Week two finished with her getting out of bed for short intervals, further weaning of her medications, and she finally got to come off her oxygen. Meal time became a social event as someone was always there to share that time with them.

"It fills up one whole side of the garage," Kanda said as she described Roy's Christmas present.

"That's huge." Izzy was impressed.

"He's good at fixing things and it will give him his own space to work. I think he'll like it."

"Oh, I bet he'll love it." Izzy looked kinda sad.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do anything for Mike. He gets a bump on the log for Christmas."

Kanda saw the hint of something worrisome there. "Do you think he cares if you go out shopping or not?"

Izzy didn't answer.

Kanda got up and sat on the side of her bed. "Now you listen to me young lady. Mike is in this for the long haul. There is nothing he wouldn't do for you or with you. If that means waiting patiently for you to have the time to heal then he will not only wait, but wait with a smile on his face and love in his heart. This isn't about instant gratification or selfishness on his part. He's not making a list of what you're not doing for him."

She took her hand and squeezed it. "He loves you Izzy and this is just a part of loving someone, to be there through pain, misery, sickness, inconvenience, and obstacles."

Tears ran down her face. "I'm asking so much from him."

"And he wouldn't have it any other way, of that I'm sure."

"I tell you what. You make a list of ideas and I'll help you get it done."

Izzy perked up. "Really?"

Kanda smiled. "Of course."

She nodded. Good, she thought knowing that even if she couldn't do the shopping at least she wouldn't be empty handed come Christmas day.

* * *

"Please?" She begged from the reclining chair of her room. "I can't take this anymore. You have to say yes or I'm going to go homicidal."

Brackett stood there with her chart in his hands and laughed. "Well, I've heard this for enough days so fine, today can be the day."

If she had the energy she would have jumped up and danced. Instead, Mike clapped his hands and looked at her with excitement. She was going home!

"It seems like forever since I was here." Izzy stood in the doorway of her bedroom at her father's house. It was small and quaint and still held the decor from years gone by. This had been their home from as long as she could remember and she had stayed here until leaving for college. It held a lot of memories for her and as he carried her to her bed she tried to soak in the warmth and sense of protection that it offered.

Discharge from the hospital had sent her home with enough medicines to fill a small town pharmacy and to her frustration a giant list of what she wasn't allowed to do. Maslin had definitely not appreciated her searching the list for permission to breathe. Her endurance was better, but she was still behind even when compared to twenty four hours prior to her collapse.

Mike stood in the kitchen and went through pill bottles with Dan just shaking his head.

"How are we supposed to keep all this straight?" Dan asked sounding a bit overwhelmed.

"Roy taught me how to separate them into times of day and what each one is for. So this is morning, lunch, afternoon, and then evening pills. We wrote M-L-A-E on each bottle along with how many to take."

Nodding, her dad understood the system even if he was still highly intimated by the list of what she needed to get better.

"She knows them too and probably better than we ever could." Mike put them all away and took a deep breath.

He knew all this was only temporary to help her heal, but he understood how her father was feeling. Even though the staff, doctors, even Kanda and Roy had been encouraging that they could do this at home he felt a bit overwhelmed. He wasn't a doctor, or even a medic. He was a fireman and knowing that doing the wrong thing could endanger her scared him.

They had also talked to him about her healing emotionally. It was known that heart patients had a higher rate of depression due to the change in lifestyle that was forced upon them. She had been okay so far, pleased with the progress and response to medications and he really couldn't picture her depressed about anything at this point. Again, another thing that added to the list of 'what if I don't do this right' repercussions.

Getting her settled was paramount since he had to return to work the very next day. He didn't want to of course, but Hank had already warned him about the amount of time he had lost at work while she was in the CCU. Once she was doing better he had ventured back to work, reluctantly, knowing that she was in good hands.

But now? She had just got home and he had to leave her again. That part he didn't like at all. So getting all her medications and routine in order for Dan was important to him.

"Ready?" he asked her.

She nodded. "Ready."

Lifting her up from the bed he took her to the bathroom then lowered her to her feet. He still had to stand and practically hold her up while she brushed her teeth and washed her face.

"Girl moment," she said looking up to him.

He rolled his eyes and let her steady herself before leaving. He didn't press his ear to the door, but he came pretty close.

"Don't listen to me pee," she yelled through the door.

He laughed. "Afraid I'm not going to think you're sexy cause I know you have to use the bathroom?"

She turned the knob and let him back in. "Sexy isn't even a remote possibility at this point in my life."

He picked up on the hint of sadness in her reply. Leaning in he pulled back her hair and kissed her neck. "You are always sexy to me, and beautiful, and smart, and wonderful."

She let out a sigh. "Thanks hon. I'm sure I'll feel some of that again at some point."

Picking her up he put her back into bed, pulled the covers over her and passed her the next dose of pills with a glass of water. She swallowed them and slid down into the warm comforter.

"Stay with me?" She said softly.

"Of course." He went to the other side of the bed and laid on top of the covers then snuggled up to her back and wrapped his arm around her.

For a long time he stayed away listening to her breathe, the gentle rise and fall of her chest with a reassurance that he somehow needed badly. She had been through a lot, hell they both had been through a lot and a tiny fear in him rose of losing her. What would he do? No, no he couldn't think like that, he wouldn't allow it and forced his mind to think about their upcoming wedding until he was able to finally drift off to sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

Sometimes life's Hell. But hey! Whatever gets the marshmallows toasty. ~J. Andrew Helt

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: Sorry this took so long. Holiday chaos reigns at my house, at least more than usual lol._

* * *

Chapter 29

Imagination That

"So, what are you doing?" She asked Mike.

"Not much at the moment, we were busy this morning and missed breakfast. Maybe a trashcan will catch on fire about noon."

She laughed. "Chet's day to cook huh?"

He smiled. "Sadly yes. How's your day going?"

She sighed. "Oh, you know me sleep, sleep, roll over, eat, sleep," she chuckled. "I live such an exciting life now."

He didn't smile on his end. "I gave you a chore."

She scoffed. "Thinking about music is never a chore."

In the background the tones sounded. "I gotta go sunshine. Get busy. Love you. "

"Love you too babe."

Mike pulled his turn out coat on and grabbed his helmet then quickly bounded into the engine as the others followed suit. As soon as he cranked the rig the radio crackled with a cancelation of the call. With a deflated rush of adrenaline everyone ambled back into the dayroom while Mike lingered behind. Big Red was a responsibility that he took seriously and he devotedly checked over her to make sure everything was up to his personal specifications. And he loved every minute of it.

After a short while he heard someone come around the corner behind him and open the squad side compartment causing the doors to whack against the truck. Turning around he saw Roy pulling out the trauma box.

It put him on instant alert. "What happened?"

Roy paused for half a second and rolled his eyes. "Chet burned his arm taking the figs and sunflower seeds out of the oven."

Mike started to say something then hesitated, dumbfounded, and just a little bit scared.

"Don't ask," Roy said as he headed back to the bay.

When Mike came back into the kitchen Johnny was holding Chet's arm as Marco swept up a few hundred sunflower seeds and Hank grumbled about the increased paperwork he would have to face before heading home.

"You're lucky it's superficial Chet," Roy told him as he applied a dressing.

"We're all lucky he's clumsy," Johnny said nodding towards Marco as he dumped the remnants in the trash can.

Chet looked crushed. "Is it too much to ask for a little gratitude around here after I risk life and limb to give you guys a healthy life saving meal?"

Johnny shot his eyes to Roy with his best '_Is he kidding_?" expression.

"Look," Roy started. "We do appreciate the effort, but maybe you should take the rest of the day off and let your arm heal. Johnny and I will cook dinner."

Johnny's mouth dropped open. "Don't volunteer me to do his job just cause he's incompetent."

Roy's eyes darted over to the scooped up figs and dry Melba toast. "If you'd rather him get back to what he was doing…."

"Oh!" Johnny exclaimed then turned to Chet changing to his concerned medic demeanor. "Roy's right you know, you need to rest and keep that arm elevated."

Chet smiled, rather slyly making Johnny push back and scoff at Roy. "Did you see that?"

Roy looked up from packing up the supply box. "What?" All he saw was a quiet and in pain Chet and a very appalled appearing partner.

Johnny squinted his eyes tight and pursed his lips together as he pointed his finger at Chet. "Don't think you're going to get away with this."

Chet's eyebrows shot up. "With what, John?" He turned to Roy, tilted his head and shone his best puppy dog eyes. "I think I need to lay down for a bit." Standing up and moaning a bit with the movement of his arm he scuffled off to the dorm.

"You gonna let him get away with that?" Johnny was aghast at how apparently he must be the only one onto Chet's little game.

Roy picked up the box. "I see this happening one of two ways. Either you let him get away with it or we all have to eat burnt sunflower seeds and dust bunny riddled figs for dinner." He stood and waited.

Without even replying Johnny got up and started rummaging through the fridge as Roy headed out to the bay. "Where are you going?"

Roy shrugged. "Well, now I have to recount and restock before the next call." He smiled. "Go ahead; I trust your judgment on the menu."

As Roy passed Mike and Marco, both men laughed which only sent Johnny into a muttering and grumbling self-imposed dialogue that had even Henry questioning if dinner would happen anytime in the near future.

* * *

Being cooped up day after day with zero energy did nothing for her boredom and left her feeling trapped which was something she definitely wasn't accustomed too. She had to constantly resist picking up the phone just to hear his voice partly out of the monotony of her days, though mostly out of just missing him. She was surrounded by things to do from her bed. They had her guitar within reach, cards, stacks of books, a file folder of bills, Christmas cards to address, and the radio with tons of cassettes to listen too. It wasn't the lack of things to do, it was the fact that she was stuck in one place trying to do them and it was driving her insane already.

In some ways it was worse when he was off work and staying with her. He seemed perfectly content doing nothing right along with her, but she knew he had to be thinking different deep down. You can only entertain yourself for so long playing games or cards, or learning new guitar chords. They knew the TV schedule by heart and she just couldn't bring herself to become addicted to the soap operas, no matter how many times she tried to watch them. Then there were the naps, lots of them seeing how it was what she spent most of the day doing.

Honestly, she was just waiting for the day when he would just lose it and run screaming off into the night. But, so far it hadn't happened and she found herself contemplating more and more of why it hadn't.

"Honey?" Her dad said as he poked his head in the door.

She forced herself back towards wakefulness, hating that lingering groggy feeling the medications left in their wake.

"Hey dad."

"Maslin's office just called and your last test results are back. They want you to come in today."

She hesitated. The first return visit had been planned with Michael's schedule in mind; however, when a cancellation came up they called her in a day early and he wasn't able to go. He had been sweet about it and told her to not worry, but she knew he was disappointed. He had always made it clear he wanted to be with her through the healing process, every step of the way.

Now this?

Her father knew that look and that it meant her wheels were turning. "I can call them back if you'd rather wait."

She sat up. "No, it's okay. I guess I should go when they ask me too. Don't want to appear noncompliant," she guffawed.

He scoffed. "You? Not listen? I can't imagine that." With youthful reflexes he ducked the pillow aimed for his head.

The act of getting up, dressed, travel, registered, multiple tests and scans had been an ordeal without Michael there to help her. At least this time it was simple waiting. With some anxiety she sat outside his office as she mentally processed all that had happened and how she had been feeling. When they called her name Dan stood up and pushed her wheelchair into his office and closed the door.

* * *

Putting the key into his apartment seemed like a monumental task after the shift from hell they had just endured. Call after call kept them going and the hour or so of broken sleep they got only served to torment them. In fact the last couple of weeks had been unusually busy. Most of the guys credited it to holiday tensions and cranky shoppers.

"Hey there."

He knew the voice and turned around while thinking of some excuse, any excuse, to just get into his place for a shower and a chance at clean clothes.

"Hi Kharis, how are you?"

She was beaming from ear to ear and he noticed that in his absence she had dyed her hair almost white blonde. The bouncy and energetic hops she made towards him were exhausting to watch while she seemed to overflow with the energy that he certainly lacked.

"Seems like I never see you anymore," she said. "What have you been up to?"

He went ahead into his place and tossed the keys on the coffee table. Luckily it was spotless since he was never there anymore to mess it up. She followed him inside and closed the door behind her before plopping down on the couch. He took the recliner chair and worked on pulling his boots off.

"Just busy with work and stuff I guess."

"Busy I'll say," her voice was laced with a hint of displeasure. "I heard your girlfriend had been sick."

He sat back in the chair and tried to determine what she was fishing for. Unfortunately his brain was too just drained to process very much. "Yea, she is, wait…. how do you know that?"

"Oh, your friend Chet told me. He came by to find you a while back." She shifted on the couch. "If she's still sick why are you even with her? I mean someone like that will just suck the life out of ya." Leaning forward she put her elbows on her knees, resting her fingers under her chin. "I went hiking this weekend. It was wonderful and would have been even better with you keeping me warm at night."

He'd always been patient and polite with Kharis, but that pushed the wrong buttons. "I would _never_ walk away from my fiancé just because she's sick."

"Fiancé?"

He let out a sigh and stood up. "Kharis, I'm getting married in the spring."

"And you're still going to marry her?" It was easy to read the absurdity in her voice.

Putting his hands on his hips he glared at her. "That's what you do when you love someone."

Suddenly she looked sad like a child admonished over a stolen cookie. "Sorry Mike. It's just that not everyone is like that."

"Well I am exactly like that and I have no intentions of changing."

She nodded her head. "You know I was hoping to get married a couple of years ago. At least until I got hurt in an accident."

Mike sat back down as he watched the emotions changed in her features and he really had no desire to fight with her. "What happened?"

"He said he loved me until I was hurt."

"If he left you over that then he didn't really love you." He leaned back into the chair and crossed his leg.

She shook her head. "No, he said he did, even when he was leaving he said that if only I hadn't changed."

Now Mike was confused. She was very pretty with no obvious major flaws. "Kharis, I don't know what..."

She stood up and from the side she lifted her shirt about four inches to reveal a large healed scar that wrapped around from her belly button to her side. "It left me ugly and he didn't want me anymore." Tears fell from her eyes.

Mike stood up and raised his own shirt to show his burn scar. "You can't let something like that change who you are or what you want out of life. It's doesn't mean you're good or bad." He tucked his shirt back in. "Look, the right person will love every inch of you. If someone is worried about that or you being sick or not perfect for some reason then it's his loss."

She smiled meekly at him. "It's just hard sometimes."

He pulled her into a hug. "Give yourself more credit and the right guy won't stand a chance." He leaned back and winked at her.

"I hope that I'm just as lucky as she is someday." She wiped the tears away and smiled back at him.

Once Kharis was gone he jumped in the shower, found some jeans and slipped on his Lakers t-shirt before picking up the phone to get a few things done before heading out to stay with her. Stuffing a change of clothes in his duffle bag he zipped it closed and looked around his place. He was so accustomed to staying with her that it almost felt forign to him here, definitely not really home anymore. It was kind of nice to think about how they would soon have their own place together.

* * *

"Hey Dan, how's she doing?"

"Mike, come on in." He motioned to her room. "She's asleep. Kinda had a rough night."

Mike's brow furrowed. "Nightmares again?"

"She was already exhausted from yesterday's outing then those damn nightmares. Speaking of which I need to run to the pharmacy and pick up her new medicines."

"Side effects of those drugs are crazy," he said then quickly paused. "What outing?"

Dan was obviously caught off guard. "Oh, she's going to kill me. I thought she told you about going to the doctor's office."

"No, but we were insanely busy at work yesterday. The results came in?"

"Michael?"

A smile instantly came on his face hearing her voice.

Dan slapped him on the shoulder. "I'll let her fill you in. I'm going to go get her meds, be back in a bit."

Mike nodded and put his duffle bag beside the couch before heading down the hall. When he came into her room she was pushing up to prop on her fluffy pillows so he reached over to help pull her up a bit more.

"Better?"

She nodded. "Yea, thanks."

Moving to the other side of the bed he kicked off his shoes and crawled up to lay beside her and felt a sense of comfort when she leaned against him.

"Long shift huh."

"Glad it's over with."

"Me too, missed you."

He slipped his arm behind her and pulled her closer. "Wanna share any news?"

Snuggling her head down to his chest she was quiet for a minute and he tried to not be alarmed. "Izzy?"

"The studies showed slow improvement in function and he adjusted my meds again."

The fact that she wasn't happy with the news was easy to pick up on. Taking her chin in his fingers he lifted her face to see her eyes. They were moist with tears.

"Tell me what's wrong baby."

"Guess I just wanted to hear the impossible. Oh, sorry Izzy, we were mistaken, you'll be fine. Just go home and take a nap and when you wake up you'll be fixed."

His thumb wiped a tear away. "We knew it would be slowly, but surely. You're doing great so don't give up on me."

A tiny shake of her head pressed on his chest. "No. I know I'm just being impatient."

"We have plenty of time. Besides, I'm kinda getting use to this spend the day holding you thing."

Her eyes remained sad as he nestled down beside her. "Don't get too use to it," she whispered.

Kissing her forehead he pulled her closer as they drifted off to sleep together.

* * *

"Marco, really?" Johnny held the picture. "She's hot man."

"And she's sweet and funny and really smart." He took the picture back after it was passed around.

"I still say she's a figment of his imagination," Chet said shaking his head.

"Well, that's a pretty nice figment if you ask me," Johnny quipped back.

Johnny stood up and pulled out the milk to pour a glass. "You're just jealous because you can't hold onto a girl long enough for her to become a figment." He shot a look to Roy. "That is _if_ he had an imagination in the first place."

He laughed at his own joke then took a drink of milk which he immediately spewed all over the table making Mike and Marco both jump out of his line of fire.

"CHET! What is in this stuff?"

He cocked his head and raised his brow. "Why Johnny, I have no idea what you're talking about." Then he scowled. "Must be your imagination."

Mike grabbed a towel and started to wipe the table down. "Just don't let your imagination get the better of you."

Roy looked up with a grin until he saw the staid look on his friend's face. He tucked the question away for later.

* * *

"So, how's being back at home going?" Roy asked Mike as they cleaned up the dinner dishes.

Mike shrugged. "Okay I guess. I don't really like her being alone though."

"She not at her dad's anymore?"

Mike shook his head. "No, she got it in her mind that she wanted to be back to her own place this week so we moved her back to the apartment."

Roy needed to let that process for a minute. "Kanda said she reported steady progress from her last doctor visit."

"Yea, actually the last two visits."

Roy sensed something was troubling his friend. "Is she going to get back to work soon?"

That question elicited another shrug. "She wants too, but no one thinks she's ready yet." Mike propped on the mop handle. "I know she's stir crazy at home. I mean she's been working on music and has managed to create some crazy filing system for paperwork that I blame on medication side effects."

Roy chuckled.

"We even started walking some this week and went down to the club so she could see everyone."

Roy was impressed. "That's great."

"I don't' know, it just wiped her out. I think she's pushing it too fast Roy, but she won't listen to me or Dan."

Roy mirrored him on the broom handle. "Sounds like she's just craving to get better to me. I would think that as long as she rests when she's tired then it's okay to be active when she feels up to it."

Mike nodded. "Yea, that's what the doctor told her and it seems to life her spirits to get out and about."

"It's hard to be confined. You remember that feeling."

"Yea, I do, it just seems like she's having trouble shaking it. I mean sometimes she seems to just be ….."

Roy caught the hesitation.

"Unhappy."

"I can have Kanda talk to her if you think that would help," Roy offered.

"Maybe some girl chat is what she needs since she's not really telling me what's bothering her."

"Consider it done Pally."

* * *

"Ready?" He said smugly.

"You know one of these day's I'm gonna beat you again, right?" She said with a bobble of her head.

"You wish!" He reached down and picked her up pulling her over his shoulders in the fireman's hold and started jogging up the three flights of stairs to her apartment. On level two they slowed to pass an elderly man.

"Mr. Jackson." Mike said with a low voice.

"Mr. Jackson," Izzy offered as she quickly placed a serious adult look on her face.

"Michael," he replied back with a dead pan expression. "Izzy."

Mike picked up speed again as they laughed up the rest of the stairs.

"You're going to get me evicted one of these days!" She chided him as he unlocked the door.

When she stepped inside and turned around a wave of dizziness came over her and he caught her before she hit the floor hard. There was no panic as he reached down and checked her pulse. The irregularity of it always shook him a little bit, but the events were still a part of their lives partially due to her heart but also due to one of the medications she took.

"Close your eyes, deep breaths," he told her gently.

She didn't argue back and instead followed his guidance until the event passed. When she reopened her eyes there was only one of him.

"Double vision?"

"Single," she said then smiled softly.

"Not anymore I'm not, but thanks for asking," he replied back.

With a smile he helped her up and walked with her to the couch.

"So I got a call from Kanda today."

Pulling glasses out of the cabinet he glanced into the living room to see her expression since her tone was off a bit. He decided to play dumb and get an idea of her reaction first since it was more unpredictable recently. As he handed her a glass of tea he lifted her legs up to lie over his lap.

"Is everything about our relationship going to be a topic at the station?"

Yep, she was upset.

"Sorry babe. I just thought you might like sometime with the girls instead of being stuck with me all the time."

She let out a huff. "It's just frustrating. You're worried I'm stuck with you, I'm stressing cause you're stuck with me. Meanwhile, everyday I'm reminded about what I can't do." She swung her legs down and sat on the edge of the couch. "I know I'm like a two year old that has to be endlessly entertained. I just don't need everyone else to know it too, okay?"

He reached out for her hand, but she pulled it away. "I'm sorry. I was only trying to help."

Standing up she turned to face him. "I know you're trying to help and I'm sorry I just can't help the frustration I'm feeling. Just don't assume what I need when others are involved."

As she left for her bedroom Mike pushed back into the sofa and let out a shaky breath. Her mood swings were only getting worse and he was afraid to broach the subject with her about talking to Maslin. It was something he would ask, if he was ever present for a doctor's appointment. But that was another tidbit that had left him a bit confounded.

When all was quiet down the hall for a few minutes he turned off the TV and lights then headed to her room. Kicking off his shoes he lay on the covers beside her and listened to see if she was asleep yet. His answer came when she rolled over to him, face to face, and his heart ached to see her so sad.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to him.

He pulled her closer and ran his fingers through her hair. "There's nothing to be sorry for."

"I know I'm being irrational and insane and I can't help it. This is really thrown me for a loop and I feel like I'm coming unraveled at the seams."

"You're not alone through this, okay?" He told her tenderly.

"I know, but it's still something I'm trying to figure out how to deal with."

"We can do this together."

She nestled close to him, her head on his shoulder then feeling him kiss her as they drifted off to sleep.

"Maybe," she whispered so quietly he didn't even hear her.

* * *

End Note: I'll be working through the holidays, the joys of working in the medical field huh. Anyways, I wanted to wish everyone a great holiday season and a Merry Christmas.


	30. Chapter 30

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering. ~Robert Brault

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: An Izzy and Mike Christmas._

* * *

Chapter 30

Blessings to Behold and to Hold

"STOP!"

Mike skidded to a stop and nearly pulled the door closed on his toes. "Okay, okay," he chuckled.

"It's not funny so no laughing at me."

He quickly closed the door back and apologized. "Sorry, I thought you girls were finished."

Kanda's hands released all the red hair, which she was in the middle of French braiding, and went to the now closed door. Behind her Izzy had a face covered with some green mud mask with her feet propped up while Emily Stoker was digging through the closet for the right thing to wear.

She cracked the door open to find a patiently waiting Mike. "Actually, girls are technically never really finished, but you're also early."

Sheepishly he passed her a small gift bag. "I brought her this."

Kanda broke out in a smile as she took the bag and shook her head. "Michael Stoker, you never cease to amaze me."

"Anything for my girl."

She nodded and closed the door back. Turning to Izzy she raised her eyebrows and passed the red bag to her. "Apparently this was important enough to risk life and limb for."

Izzy took the bag and reached inside to find a rectangular box, wrapped in silver paper with a tiny green bow on top.

Emily smiled at her with encouragement. "Well, open it."

When she lifted the top it revealed a delicate silver necklace with a silver promise knot which held a heart shaped emerald. Pulling it out she cupped it in her hand to see every part of it before washing her face and having Kanda clasp it around her neck.

Kanda leaned down beside her. "There, I think the natives are getting restless so we better finish up."

Izzy nodded as her fingers caressed the gift while Kanda put the finishing touches on her hair. Emily shared an assortment of lipsticks then disappeared into the bedroom grumbling about a missing earring.

"I think Mike is in for a nice surprise," Kanda said with excitement. Since coming home from the hospital Kanda had spent more time with her, helping with her care in areas where the men of the house felt less comfortable. It had given them more time to learn about each other along the way and in the meantime they had become good friends.

"He deserves something nice," Izzy said quietly.

"I haven't known him for very long and he seems to be a kind and gentle though private person. I still think you've brought out all the best in him Izzy, you _are_ nice and I think you two complement each other perfectly. So don't underestimate yourself and don't doubt what you have."

"But, he didn't bargain on this."

Kanda leaned back against the bathroom counter and crossed her arms. "You're right, he didn't. He also didn't anticipate being burned and nearly dying, or having a stranger step in and save his life. He didn't bargain on falling in love with someone that might need him one day as much as he needed them at one point." She paused. "Izzy are you worried that he would leave you over this?"

Without hesitation she shook her head. "No. No, he would never make that choice."

"Okay, good. Now, let's go see if we can make a certain engineer blush."

It was just before Christmas and the shift party was once again being graciously hosted by the Stanley's at their home. The stereo played festive and upbeat Christmas jingles, the lights were softened with flickering candles on the tables and mantle. A beautiful Christmas tree, elegantly decorated like something straight out of a department store, stood in the large front window. Mike stood talking to Johnny and Roy debating the pros and cons of the most recent equipment upgrades at the station. The conversation stopped when Mike saw Johnny smile and nod to look behind him.

Striding down the hall were three gorgeous women, festively dressed and ready to party. The engineers smile couldn't have been wider to see her there, up and about, radiant, and looking beautiful. In minimal long legged strides he reached her, took her hand and stole a kiss.

She blushed. "I can't believe you did this Michael. It's beautiful." Her hand touched the charm around her neck.

His finger traced along her face and to her lips. "It matches your eyes."

It would be hard to argue that Hank didn't put as much energy into the planning as his wife did. He was like a kid in a candy store with excitement as he circled through the crowd sending out welcomes to what was his second family. No one needed encouragement to enjoy themselves as the savory smells from the kitchen filled the air, music resonated through the rooms, and laughter filled your ears.

Hank mingled through the crowd, staying close to his wife who simply glowed with happiness, reminding him of why he loved her as much now as he did when they met. Marco and Chet had brought dates which always provided its own form of entertainment, especially where Chet was concerned. Though he did sense a little something different with Marco and his girl this time, perhaps it was that look in her eyes when he talked to her. Kanda and Roy were sticking close together which was normal for them. Almost extensions of each other since they had first met there was no doubting the love she held for him in her eyes.

Johnny was singling it tonight and it was nice to see how comfortable he was with it. Hank had no worries that the right one was out there for the young medic if he could just help him stay out of trouble between now and then. It would be putting it mildly to say he was grateful to see Izzy and Mike back together again. The vision of her on the ground at the saloon would probably be burned in his mind forever, but it was great to see her up and about again. She seemed smaller, a bit frailer, cautious in her movements, and definitely more reserved; however, he could still see her light up when she was with Mike.

Chet and Marco stood near the food table until eventually drug away by girlfriends who wanted a living room dance. Kanda and Roy talked with Hank and Emily near the fireplace while Johnny sat near Mike and Izzy.

"So what are your plans for the holidays?" Johnny asked as he sipped on some eggnog.

"My folks are coming in tomorrow for a long weekend," Mike said. "Mom's excited about cooking dinner then they're heading up north for a few days with her sister."

"My dad and I always went to the east coast to see his family," she paused. "But, since I can't travel that far he's going to stay here with me and Michael this year."

"I don't know, sounds pretty nice to me," Johnny pondered.

"What about you Johnny?" She asked.

"Well, I'll do Christmas morning with Kanda, Roy and the kids then I picked up and extra shift at 86 so Kenny can get some time off with his wife and new baby."

Chet wandered over and sat down beside Izzy. "Well, I'm having Christmas with a house full of nieces and nephews that will be screaming at the top of their lungs for about six hours with a sugar high and most likely will come back to work with partial hearing loss."

Izzy laughed. "See Chet, if you settled down and had a few of your own then you wouldn't mind that hearing loss."

He backed up quickly, shaking his head. "Oh, no you don't. This fella is nowhere ready for that chaos. And _a_ _few?_ You are kidding right?"

Johnny sat on the edge of his chair. "I think you deserve at least five Chet, no, make that six."

Chet stood back up. "I didn't come over here to be insulted, so I'll just get me some more eggnog," he scoffed then wandered off.

Johnny laughed. "Always works."

"Johnny, you're so bad," Izzy winked at him. She stood up and wavered a bit causing Mike and Johnny both to reach out. "No," she waved them off. "I'm okay, thank you fellas. No more eggnog for me, huh?" She giggled then headed towards Marco and his date.

Johnny looked to Mike with his brow furrowed a bit. "She okay?"

Mike shrugged. "Yea. She still gets dizzy sometimes from the medicines and she hates to make a big deal out of it."

They looked up to see Roy wandering over.

"But, the doc says she's getting better right?" Johnny quizzed.

Mike nodded. "From what I hear each visit he tells her slow and steady progress."

"Kanda gets the same updates from her and says that really it;s good news," Roy added. "I know you think she's doing too much, but she seems to be keeping it to her own pace."

Again Mike agreed. "She is; I know she is. I just…"

Johnny laughed. "I don't even want to see you when your first kid is born."

Mike looked surprised and Roy couldn't help but laugh too then patted his shoulder. "Don't worry pally. It all comes with falling in love so try to relax and just enjoy it."

* * *

"We can leave when you're tired," he whispered into her ear as they slow danced together.

"I'm always tired and you're not leaving early just because of me so stop offering," her tone was resigned and tired. "Just enjoy the party. I promise to sit down when I need to."

He kissed her hair and breathed in the sweet scent of her. "I'm glad you like your gift."

Her voice was soft, "I love it."

"I hope you know how much I love you," he said lovingly to her.

"I do."

* * *

"Izzy hon, will you put the rolls in the over for me?"

"Sure," she told Mrs. Stoker. "We're really glad you guys could make it down this weekend. I know you've had to put in a lot of travel time between the two of us recently."

Ruth wiped her hands off and pushed the turkey to the side. "Yes, it's been quite a year that's true," she smiled and reached out to take Izzy's hands. "Honestly, we'd have it no other way. The hard times are what brought you two together and sometimes you just can't fight fate." She squeezed her hands. "We love you so much Izzy and how happy you've made our son."

Izzy leaned in to hug her. "Thank you so much Ruth. I love you both too."

Pushing back she outstretched her hands. "Now young lady you're only job is to keep getting better and ready for our spring event, right?"

She softly nodded. "Yes."

"Good!" Turning back to the counter of Mike's apartment she let out a deep breath. "Okay, I think everything's ready. Let's see if we can pry those men away from the TV for some dinner."

Once everyone was at the table Ruth offered the blessing as they held hands together as a family. Full of favorite holiday foods the clinking of silverware quickly ensued as they tried to fit in conversations between savoring morsels of food.

Izzy learned that Ruth's sister was up in Washington State where another family dinner would take place in just a couple of days for them. Even though Michael was an only child, his mother was one of 6, all of which were still living save one brother that died as a child. This meant lots of aunts, uncles and even more cousins that she had yet to meet.

"We have a large family reunion every two years at our place in Montana. So this summer we will be expecting you and Michael to join us too."

Mike nodded with excitement. "You'll love it Iz. We have it at the lake and go skiing, swimming, have fireworks at night and so much good food all in one place."

Ruth laughed then reached out to pat her hand. "We do hope you will join us this year honey, including you Dan. You're both family now and we want to see you as much as possible."

She nodded, but didn't really answer. Her father eyed her closely.

Robert cleared his throat. "Just be warned," he started with a stern voice which captured their attention. "This is not a venture for the faint of heart. Anything that puts him on a pair of water skis and her," he motioned to Ruth, "muttering endless prayers will drive you to just eat more of Aunt Maggie's famous pie."

"I'm not that bad at skiing," Mike quickly injected.

"Bad?" His mother quickly corrected him. "Do you not remember how many times I've driven you to the emergency room growing up?"

Izzy couldn't help but giggle at his mother's bogus shock.

He looked at her with a joking scowl. "No taking her side. Just because I wasn't particularly good at it…"

Robert looked at her. "If it wasn't skiing it was always something with him. A broken arm, a broken leg, three broken toes, several twisted ankles, at least one confirmed concussion, two broken noses, need I go on?"

Izzy laughed and she looked to him with wide eyes. "That's terrible Michael!"

He shrugged. "What can I say? I was an adventurous kid."

"You should have seen me trying to defend my motherhood to the ER doctor every time I had to take him in!"

Mike laughed. "One time they were asking me if anyone had hurt me and I started crying about the _bad man._" He put his fork down. "The nurses got all frantic and called the police while mom here was sobbing outside the door. I really didn't realize what was happening."

Izzy looked at him suddenly worried. "_Did_ someone hurt you?"

Robert nearly choked on his potatoes. "Yea, the _bad man_ turned out to be the giant plastic lit up Santa on the roof that he had decided to get a piggy back ride from."

"Michael!" She smacked him on the shoulder. "How old were you?"

His mother held up five fingers.

"Five? You were wreaking that much havoc at five?"

Ruth laughed. "I've always warned him that Karma isn't nice and that he would have four boys just like him growing up."

Izzy looked at her worried. "Four boys?" She almost stuttered.

They all laughed at her expression.

Mike leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Not all at one time baby, we have plenty of time."

She tilted her head and pursed her lips together. "That's very kind of you honey." She smiled as she shook her head.

Dan cleared his throat and Izzy shot him a glare. "Our side of the family isn't quite as big and Izzy and I are pretty much the only ones on this side of the states. I grew up out in Tennessee and that's where most everyone still is."

"Well, we definitely know how hard it is to be so far from family," Ruth said. "We hated it when Michael decided to move to California, but we sure can't deny how happy he's been out here."

"I always tried to teach Isabelle here how important family is," Dan said while looking at her with wholehearted love.

She gave a little crooked smile to the Stokers. "It may be just us but it's been really great to work the business with dad over the last few years. It's something I'll never regret doing."

Dan's expression softened. "Me either, honey."

Robert picked up his wine glass and held it up. "A toast to our young couple here. May they know happiness and joy for many more Christmas's to come."

Izzy held her glass up with Mike's to accept the blessing and his warm kiss.

* * *

The time passed quickly and before long their visit had to come to an end and the two of them curled up on the couch with only the Christmas tree lights flickering in the darkness. She rested in his arms and treasured the comfort that seemed to naturally flow from him. His steady breaths made her wonder if he'd fallen asleep and though she was exhausted her mind was too full to rest just yet.

Turning in his embrace until she faced him she reached up and brushed his hair with her fingertips causing his eyes to open. A warm smile greeted her.

"You're parents are great."

He nodded.

"They love you a lot."

"They love you a lot too," he said without hesitation.

She nodded. "What are you smiling about?"

He pulled off his new watch and turned it over. _Always remember I love you, Izzy._

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," she cupped his cheek in her hand. "I do love you more than anything."

"Merry Christmas my love," he said then leaned in for a slow passionate kiss.


	31. Chapter 31

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_A/N: Thanks to all the PM's and words of wisdom, they are much appreciated. This chapter was ...a challenge. Let me know your thoughts._

Chapter 31

Change

* * *

_Traffic accident, Interstate 401, approach at Woodruff, North bound, time out 0210._

Sure people say they sleep at night, but it's never the same as being in your own bed. When the tones sound the instant alertness leaves one wondering if they had even closed their eyes at all. With methodical accuracy they stepped into boots, pulled on turn out clothes, donned helmets and jumped into the waiting trucks.

"KMG 365," Hank reported over the system before climbing in the big rig beside Mike. With a quick glance he knew they were ready and followed with the 'let's get going' nod.

Thick storm clouds were visible even at this hour and the rain of El Nino poured incessantly and threatened to flood the streets out from underneath them. Hank could feel the wheels of the engine struggle to grip the road on turns and the instant compensation that Mike put into holding them tight on course. This El Nino was right on time, often called Christ Child, since it usually occurred around Christmas season. No matter what it was called it brought high volume rain to Southern California and they usually saw the repercussions with a steady pace of emergency calls, especially accidents.

Roy pulled up the north bound entrance ramp to the interstate and instantly met with backed up traffic. Even at this hour of the morning the roads were busy due to holiday traffic only made worse due to the weather. It forced him to the shoulder and even with sirens blaring they grappled to make headway in search of the accident scene somewhere up ahead. Johnny was forward in the seat, leaning on the dashboard, trying to see through windshield wipers and limited visibility.

This time of year was deadly on the roads and when they pulled up to the accident the quick glance they exchanged told of how ugly it was going to be. Jumping out and pulling up his coat collar Roy quickly assessed the situation. There were four vehicles involved. Two on the left had collided with a guard rail and each other, a pickup truck and a sedan. To the right an eighteen wheeler had skidded sideways and fallen over onto its side with a yellow station wagon impacting into its undercarriage.

The rain offered one gift, the absence of fire and the washing away of gasoline thus decreasing the likelihood of explosions to follow. It also kept the bystanders at bay as everyone huddled in their cars, most not willing to brave the elements to get involved.

"Johnny you take the station wagon, I'll check the truck first." Roy waved in the other direction. "Watch out for these cars that are trying to get by."

"The police better get here quick or this is going to only get worse," Johnny called out as he ran towards the first and worst appearing collision.

On Johnny's side the semi was blocking two full lanes of traffic and he could smell the gas fumes spilling from the truck. He looked over to see the engine pull up beside them and Hank jump out.

"CAP! WE GOT GAS OVER HERE!"

When he saw the affirming nod of his Captain and the engine crew get busy with their assigned tasks he preceded to the first vehicle. It was a yellow station wagon that had the entire front half rammed into the bottom of the overturned semi. The hood was just a crumpled mass and the windshield left shattered. Pulling on the door handle it was jammed just as he expected it would be and with a sense of urgency he didn't want to wait until help arrived.

Behind him police sirens and increased activity insured a safer scene for the crew and without hesitation Johnny sent his elbow into the driver's side splintered window. Taking off his glove he gingerly reached past the glass shards to place his fingers along her neck as she was crushed between the seat and the steering wheel.

His heart sank at finding no pulse though he knew she never had a chance with the massive injuries she had endured on impact. Hearing someone running up behind him he turned to see Mike with the Jaws. The next move was to make sure no one else was in the car then they would head towards the truck. Peering into the unbroken back window he struggled to shine the flashlight into the darkness in hopes of seeing anything at all.

"Oh God," he said to no one in particular when he saw the small foot in the back floorboard.

Johnny motioned to the jammed door and without needing to be told what to do Mike donned his glasses and worked at forcing open the rear driver's side door enough for them to get their hands on the edge. Putting down the equipment he grasped the door with Johnny giving him just enough room for access into the vehicle. Brushing the glass off the seat he slid across it until he could reach the child who was trapped in the middle of the floor board.

Once again he pulled his glove off and with cold fingers he searched for a pulse, and searched. When Mike saw the medic's head drop he knew they were both gone. Johnny gently lifted her off the floor and laid her on the seat. As he brushed back her hair he literally gasped and looked up to Mike who was already frozen in place.

"John, the semi driver is hurt pretty bad. Whatcha got here?" Hank hollered as he ran up behind them.

Johnny shook his head. "They're both gone Cap."

Hank was caught off guard by the depth of grief on his men's faces until he saw that one was a child and knew they would not take it well. "Take care of the driver. Roy's already got his hands full. I've called in another unit."

Johnny nodded and had to gently push Mike out of the way as he climbed out of the car. "Let's take care of the driver."

Roy had a blue pickup truck that had spun into the guard rail then been hit by a tan four door sedan. The truck driver had already left the vehicle and was sitting off to the side holding a rag to the laceration on his head. A quick assessment revealed no severe injuries or broken bones. He was lucky. Obviously shaken up he had somehow managed to have escaped serious injury.

The tan car presented more of a problem as the woman inside was screaming incessantly.

"Miss, I need you to calm down for me," he encouraged her. However, she was having nothing of it and continued to cry, wail, and scream.

Knowing that time was of the essence he proceeded to examine her for broken bones and decided that he had to be safe and protect her neck and back since he had no idea why she was so upset. Chet slid into the passenger seat and helped him secure the neck brace then put the backboard behind her. Roy worried about the giant tears that flowed down her cheeks, but since she wasn't being cooperative with anything all he could do was be proactive in her favor.

Talking to her constantly he explained each action hoping that maybe something would get through to her eventually. "Now look, I need you to be very still and we're going to get you out of here, okay?"

"I can't move!" She cried even louder.

"We have you; you're not going to fall. Calm down for me so we can get a blood pressure on you."

As Chet gathered vital signs Roy opened up the com link.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51, do you read?"

_Read you loud and clear 51, go ahead._

"Rampart, we have a multivehicle accident. Victim one is male, age 40, mobile with a laceration to the forehead. Vitals are pulse 100, respirations 18, BP 150/89. Pupils are equal and reactive, he is alert and oriented with no other complaints."

_51 transport Victim one when ambulance available._

"10-4. Victim two is female, approximately 25 years old. She has a large contusion to her forehead from impacting the windshield. There is no movement of her extremities at this time and she states inability to move. Pupils are unequal and sluggish. Abdomen is tender to palpation and her right leg is fractured with splint applied. She is immobilized. Vitals are pulse 124, respirations 22, BP 90/65. She is extremely agitated and uncooperative."

_10-4 51. Begin IV LR at 100cc per hour, continue immobilization and follow that blood pressure closely. Is she having any difficulty with her breathing? _

"Negative Rampart other than mild hyperventilation from being upset."

_Transport as soon as ambulance is available._

"10-4 Rampart. IV LR at 100cc, immobilization and follow airway."

_Are the anymore victims 51?_

"Unknown at this time Rampart. Will advise."

Hank jogged up behind him. "How we doing over here?"

Roy stood up. "They both are ready for transport as soon as the ambulance arrives. What's Johnny got?"

Hank shook his head. "Two DOA's in the car and the truck driver looks pretty bad. Is she okay where she is for now?"

Roy nodded. "Yea, just need to keep an eye on her blood pressure and airway, but she seems to be calming down finally."

"Then John needs you there. We'll watch her until the second unit arrives."

Roy jogged over with both hands full of equipment to find Mike laying out the MAST trousers while Johnny worked on vital signs on the seriously injured man. Both men were working quickly and silently.

"Whatcha got?" He asked while getting the bio phone set up again then listened carefully to Johnny's assessment and concerns.

"Rampart, 51."

_Go ahead 51._

"Rampart victim number three was in an overturned semi-truck." Johnny passed him vital signs. "Male, approximately 45, unconscious, and unresponsive. Abdomen is rigid, suspect broken pelvis, fracture right shoulderand a large contusion to the right side of his head. Pulse is 130 shallow and weak, respirations 8, BP 80/40_. _He is pale, diaphoretic and cyanotic."

_51, immobilize, place in MAST trousers stat, and begin IV of LR at 100cc an hour in one extremity then another at same rate in opposing extremity. Push 100cc of Plasmanate as soon as you have access. Place esophageal airway. How soon until you can transport?"_

Mike was assisting Johnny at getting the MAST trousers on in hopes of stabilizing his blood pressure as Marco helped to pull out supplies. He turned around to see a second engine and squad pull up and was grateful the woman and other driver were in good hands so he could focus on helping Johnny.

"First ambulance has just arrived Rampart."

Brackett knew the woman was already stabilized and ready to go whereas the man needed vital IV access, fluids and stabilization of his blood pressure to survive the transport in.

_Send in Victim one and two now._

"10-4 Rampart. IV at 100cc times two sites, MAST trousers being placed now, Plasmanate IV push, and esophageal airway."

Marco nodded at Roy then jogged over to the other scene to update them on the plan.

"What's over there?" Roy nodded to the station wagon.

Johnny shook his head. "Mother and daughter, both already gone."

It sickened Roy, any death especially one of a child. Only a few days after Christmas and lives were lost and families would grieve. He caught a look between the other two men and knew that something else had happened. "Johnny?"

"Roy, its Abby and her mother."

He rocked back on his heels. "What?"

Johnny nodded and Mike averted his eyes unable to see the pain in someone else's eyes that had already gripped his own heart. Instead, everyone focused on what needed to be done to save the life in front of them and not on what they could not change.

"Rampart, second ambulance has arrived, we are ready to transport. ETA ten minutes. Be advised that we have two DOA's on scene also."

The first two victims were taken in by Squad 86 while Johnny rode with the trucker. Roy followed behind in the Squad. The crew remained behind to assist in clean up so they could get the vehicles cleared and traffic moving once again after the police had done the initial scene investigation.

Mike paused as they removed the mother and child from the car feeling increasing dread in the pit of his stomach. Abby. The sweet little girl they had saved once and had managed to be a part of saving him when he needed it the most. He would have to tell her, devastating news that he saw no way of avoiding or getting through easily.

* * *

Wet to the bone the medics stepped out of the exam room to find Dixie standing there with a towel and dry scrubs for them. With heartfelt appreciation they silently worked their way to the doctor's lounge to somehow try and feel human again. Once they were back at the desk Brackett and Early both were writing in charts.

"How are they looking doc?" Johnny asked as he used the towel to pat the water from his ears.

"The girl is already feeling some sensation in her legs," Joe said. "Mostly likely spinal shock and I think she will recover."

Roy looked relieved.

"Lucky too," Joe added. "If anyone had tried to move her she probably would have had permanent damage to her spine."

"And the trucker?" Johnny asked.

Kel looked up. "Touch and go right now. He's heading up to surgery to try and stop the internal bleeding." He then really looked at the water logged medics. "Rough call huh?"

Roy shuffled his feet. "Yea, you could say that."

"And two didn't make it I hear?" Dixie asked knowing that something they wouldn't see could deeply affect the crew at the rescue.

Johnny looked so sad she felt a flash of worry. "It was Abby and her mother in the car. Looked like they died on impact."

Dixie sat down in the chair and fought to hold the tears back. Kel saw her jaw clinch and memories flooded him of the day she escorted him to the pediatric ward to meet Abby, with a shutdown uncooperative Mike Stoker in tow.

"That's so wrong," she blurted out. "That child fought back from everything that was thrown at her."

"Dix," Kel started to say.

"Don't Dix me. It's not fair Kel and you know it."

He knew now was not the time to try and fix her feelings. "You're right, there's nothing fair about it."

Suddenly she looked at Roy. "Mike?"

Roy nodded. "He was there, helped in the rescue."

Her head dropped knowing that so many had been blessed by her presence and thus many would hurt at the loss. Looking back up she pushed down her anger as she saw the heartache in their eyes. "I'm so sorry fella's."

They simply nodded back to her and quietly headed back to the station as the doctors returned to their patients.

"Isn't that the little girl that Izzy helped take care of on Peds?"

Dixie turned around the see Teri, one of the float nurses from upstairs. "Yea sure was."

"So sad. Izzy's going to take it hard too. I know she's already going through a lot on her own."

Dixie nodded.

"I just saw her yesterday coming out of Robertson's office and got to say hello."

Confusion spread across Dixie's features. "Matt Robertson?"

Teri nodded.

"He doesn't have an office here."

"No, I was working in the PRN pool over at the University Hospital. We'll I better get this stuff to Dr. Early."

Dixie absent mindedly nodded to her. "Okay Teri, thanks."

* * *

He wasn't surprised when she nearly collapsed in his arms with tears, and he wasn't surprised when she wasn't willing to talk about any of it; however, when she asked to be alone that night he protested.

"I'm not leaving you here alone Iz," he said still taken aback by her request.

She looked down to the floor. "You're exhausted and I don't think I can do anything but climb in bed at this point. Go home and get some sleep. I just need some time alone Michael, please."

"Izzy," he pleaded.

"I'm not ready to share this. I, I can't think right now. Please, just go."

He stood in the hallway as he heard the locks click closed and then outside as the lights went out from her bedroom window. With a new found anxiety in his heart he headed to his place.

* * *

"How did she take it?"

Mike sat in his kitchen with the phone pressed to his ear as he stirred his cup of coffee. "Bad. I mean I've never seen her like this before."

Roy's voice tried to reassure him. "She's grieving and trying to deal with her own worries. Just give her some time."

"I hope so. I know Kanda talked about her feeling some depression and I know the meds mess with her emotions."

"Like you said, she has more than one good reason to have those moments. If it seems worse than you'd expect I'd talk to her doctor about it."

"I will and thanks."

As soon as he hung up the phone it rang again and he quickly picked it up. "Hello."

"Hey."

"Hey baby, how are you holding up?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'll be okay. I got to talk to her aunt and got the information about the funeral. It's Saturday will you go with me?"

He let out a soft sigh. "Of course I will. What time?"

"They are doing the view and the church service at the same time, at two."

"I'll pick you up about one."

"I'll be ready."

"Try and get some sleep, okay?"

"I will, promise."

Her calling had eased his mind and he suddenly felt the intense need for his own sleep following a long, stressful and heart wrenching shift. Tomorrow she was booked up with plans to see her friend Melanie and he had his errands to deal with that afternoon. He already missed her. It was a feeling he didn't like, but at the same time he did like it. There was something reassuring about knowing she would be in his arms again soon.

The church was located in the small desert town of Pinon Hills, not far outside LA. Its wooden pews had filled up quickly with family and he even recognized some of the faces from the hospital, nurses and doctors who had come to say goodbye to the little girl they had come to know and love.

Izzy remained quiet and close to him as they worked their way down the aisle to find a place to sit. Sitting near Johnny, Roy, Kanda, and Dixie, Izzy nodded a hello to them then pressed close to him as the service started. He tried to listen to what the minister had to say, but instead found himself focusing on the shaky breaths against him.

About twenty minutes into the service he felt her sit up beside him and watched as she wiped her tears away. Giving him a small smile stood up and walked to the front alter where Melanie joined her holding a guitar. Izzy sat down on the piano bench while Melanie stood on a lower step next to her. The acoustic music was gentle and soothing, like a lullaby he could picture her singing to the little girl. They began to sing.

It was obvious that Izzy didn't have the ability to resonate power and even though her voice was soft it was full of passion and love for the little girl. When finished she walked by Abby's aunt and gave her a hug then rejoined him on the pew. The service concluded as everyone said goodbye, family, friends and co-workers. While the church cleared out Izzy stayed seated with Mike waiting patiently for her to be ready. He understood how hard this was for her. Hell it was hard on him.

"That was beautiful what you did for them," he said.

She didn't turn to him. "Thanks. It was all I knew to do even though I'm not really up to singing much yet. I couldn't have done it without Mel."

He squeezed her hand gently. "It was perfect."

When she stood up he was right behind her as they moved from the pew to the aisle where he positioned beside her and slipped his arm around her waist. The intense emotions and lack of sleep had left her drained and he picked up on the cues easily now, knowing when she had pushed the limits.

Outside the door their friends waited quietly under the shelter from the rain that continued to fall. It didn't surprise Mike that they had hung around making sure he and Izzy were okay and he was ever grateful for having such friends in his life. Kanda and Dixie gave her a brief hug and whispered into her ear as Mike opened up the umbrella then guided her towards home.

Once inside the truck they remained quiet and he kept holding her hand even though she leaned against the coolness of the passenger window. Halfway home she turned to him, tears in her eyes.

"I don't know how much more I can take."

Hearing sadness in her voice that disconcerted him he pulled over into a grocery store parking lot and put the truck in park. Turning to her he moved over to be closer and instead of explaining what she really already knew, that things would get better, she would get well, she would sing again and how much he loved her through it all, he simply held her in the quiet of the evening shower.

* * *

The next few days passed quickly with him pulling his shifts and she spent more time at the Blue River as she helped her father prepared for the big New Year's Eve party they held annually. It was a routine that Mike felt comfortable with knowing she was keeping busy and seemed to have purpose once again. The loss of Abby had been hard on her, but when Dixie approached her about doing something special at the hospital in Abby's name after the first of the year Izzy lit up again.

Dixie knocked on the door hoping to catch Izzy at home since she hadn't called in advance. When the door opened she was greeted by a very surprised host.

"Dixie? Hey," she looked confused. "Is everything okay?"

This was the first time she had ever come to Izzy's place. "Mind if I come in?"

"Oh, yea, sure, come on in. Sorry I wasn't expecting company."

That was apparent as Dixie eyed her. It was midafternoon and she was still in her pajamas, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, a robe loosely pulled around her.

"Did I wake you?"

Izzy pushed the door closed behind her and walked over to the couch. "Today's one of those days where it's hard to get off the couch. My dad is out doing errands, Michael's at work so it's just me and the pillow."

"Izzy, what's going on?" Dixie's tone was caring, but firm.

Izzy shook her head. "Nothing Dix. I still sleep a lot and still have days where I feel pretty wrung out."

"I talked to someone this week that saw you coming out of the doctor's office."

"Oh, really?" She half-heartedly chuckled. "That happens all the time these days."

"Robertson's office."

Izzy froze and Dixie, for the first time, relaxed her stance. "I think it's time we talked."

Conversations with her father, then with Dixie and endlessly with Michael had Izzy's head spinning. Sleep engulfed her through the rest of the day and through the night. Knowing he would be off shift and heading home became her only motivation for starting the day at all.

Tonight was dinner with Michael, the Blue River's party, and the coming of a new year. It was a time of restarting, new births, new resolutions and new promises. There was a lot to do and it started with a heart to heart talk with her dad.

* * *

He put the finishing touches on dinner and set the table before calling her to join him. When there was no answer he ambled up the stairs to find her at her dresser pulling back her hair.

"Dinners ready hon."

"I heard. I'll be there in just a minute."

"Okay," he said. "See you downstairs."

He pulled out the chair then kissed her on the cheek though she never looked at him. Putting a spoonful of each item on her plate was a defensive mechanism against his worry knowing that when she didn't eat it only increased his concern and right now her head was overloaded with all the worries she could handle. Mike found himself watching her more intently than usual. His protective nature had never been quelled through her recovery and the memories of whispering prayers for her to live while Roy did CPR would haunt him forever.

It was an instinct that was deeply ingrained in him now, the need to make sure she was okay, to know that she was cared for. The last couple of weeks he'd seen her battle depression and despondency that threatened her from coming back to who she was. For him it wasn't work to love her unconditionally. If anything he found strength in being there for her.

In an effort to break the silence he began telling her about his day at work. The phantom had been on a holiday roll and Johnny had refused to be turned into the Grinch along the way. Meanwhile, Roy had managed to land himself in a vat of some syrup compound while trying to rescue a homeless mutt at a storage warehouse. He chuckled at the memory until he realized she was staring at her food.

"Babe? You okay?" He placed his hand on her forearm as it rested on the table.

Her voice was just a whisper. "I can't."

He shook his head thinking maybe her stomach was rejecting dinner. "Can't what?"

When she looked at him the first thing he noticed were her eyes had filled with tears and fear quivered through him. "Iz?'

"I can't do this."

She looked like a lost child and his heart skipped a beat, his voice shook slightly. "Do what?"

Pushing her chair back she shook her head slightly as if trying to shake something away from her mind.

"This, I don't know, this has changed me." He watched her clasp her hands, wringing them like a child trying to scrap off incriminating crumbs. "In ways I never thought possible and in some I still don't understand."

She took a deep breath, released it and looked up to meet his eyes. "But, I'm not the same person that I was Michael."

Apprehension griped him. "Izzy, don't do this. I love you."

Tears ran down her face and her voice became harsh. "This is _killing_ me inside and I don't know how to make it stop anymore." Her body trembled as she stood up, her head quivering with raw emotion that she bordered on being unable to control.

"I can't be with you anymore." Her voice was soft, almost pleading with him.

He stood up so sharply that the chair tipped backwards and he reached out to take her hands, but she stepped back from him. "God, Izzy, please don't do this. We can get through this." His insides were twisting making him nauseous as the panic rose like bile in his throat.

In a breath he watched her gain composure as she stood straighter and her face became calm with some hidden resolution. "I've resigned from the hospital and taken a job in Nashville. I'll be moving to stay with family out East. I'm sorry Michael." She twisted the ring off her finger and placed it on his napkin.

"I love you," he choked out with fisted hands at his side.

Her emotions now detached she took a step back from him. "I don't love you anymore."

With those five words his world crumbled around him.


	32. Chapter 32

**MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU**

In time of test, family is best. ~Burmese Proverb

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

Chapter 32

Shock

* * *

He kept looking at the clock as each tick seemed to whiten another hair on his head. He knew where she was and what she was doing which only made the wait more heartbreaking. When she came through his office door she was flushed with anguish and looking on the verge of collapse.

Tears ran down her face. "I let him go."

He walked towards her. "Oh, Isabelle."

Pulling her into his arms he cradled her and let her cry with abandoned misery. There was never a point when he agreed with her decision, but it was his job to stick by her side no matter what that resolution happened to be. It had tortured her for weeks and he'd seen her battle with inner demons over the choices she was being forced to make. Now he only hoped she could find some peace and that someday Mike would understand.

* * *

Mike stood in the same spot, frozen, only semi aware of her leaving and shutting the front door. Within minutes he glanced around and realized he was alone. However, his mind refused to accept it. It was just a nightmare and if he kept going he would wake up soon and things would be back to normal. Reaching down he picked up the engagement ring and placed it in his pocket. Part of him couldn't let it sit there and part couldn't look at it no longer on her finger. Mostly though, he planned to give it back to her as soon as she realized what she had done and came back home.

In stoic silence he put the dishes in the sink, packed up the left overs, and cleaned up the kitchen. He felt frozen in time as if watching a love story gone horribly wrong on TV and he was playing the leading role. With an obstinate determination he pushed it all down knowing that if he didn't think about it then it he wouldn't have to feel the pain from it. And that pain was beyond measure.

Did it really happen? Her moods had been all over the map recently and he had blamed the medications. But now? He just couldn't wrap his brain around what happened. Walking onto the back porch he put his hand into his pocket and let his fingers twirl the ring, letting its warmth remind him of her. It was quickly becoming the symbol of how rapidly everything could go wrong. Yes, gripping the precious ring tightly he knew it was the right thing for him to protect it for her because he had every intention of putting it back on her finger.

She would be back.

Impassively he stood there waiting then sat on the couch looking at a turned off TV until he realized that more than likely she was at the club now and wouldn't be coming back for hours. Eventually he pulled his key out of the lock to head down the stairs and into the rainy night. He wasn't conscious of the cars that sped by or of the hobo that rattled his mostly empty tin cup in his direction. Standing on the sidewalk he let the rain soak him to the core as the hole in his heart grew and felt swallowed up by the black of night. Bewildered, he looked down the street to where the club was hidden behind the moving in fog, but he couldn't bring himself to face her again, not this soon. His heart was screaming to go find her, but his mind was clouded and the world in front of him was no longer clear nor did anything make sense.

Finally behind the wheel he pulled out into the busy street traffic of the holiday night. The hoots and hollering of wild drinking New Year's Party goers were muffled as he blindly drove past the crowds that gathered outside of bustling restaurants and clubs.

It was a night of celebration, for everyone but him.

His heart was racing burning pain through his chest, his head pounding with a million unanswered questions, and his eyes blurred with untethered tears as he put distance between him and the waterfront district. He had no idea where he impetuously drove, only that he wasn't ready to see home. Only then did he realize he had just left the home that he had come to love and think of as his own, complete with the woman of his dreams. Every thought led back to her and it cleaved his heart into shards as abundant as the celebrators he passed by. He was adrift in an ocean of anguish and bewilderment that seemed without end.

When his tires hit the sheet of standing water the truck began a tailspin that had him tearing at the steering wheel trying to regain control. When the vehicle finally stopped he blacked out.

Cold rain coming in the window was the first thing he felt conscious of followed by engulfing pain. If it was even possible he was sure his head throbbed even more now and the sweet sticky substance on his lips spoke of blood coming from some yet to be known source. In an effort to simply avoid opening his eyes just yet he struggled to focus on the sounds of near silence around him. The hiss of his radiator and his own heavy breathing were all that he found, otherwise there it was a heavy stillness.

Pushing off the steering wheel he forced his eyes open to find his windshield shattered and a large wooden pole shoved against his driver's door. Instinct told him he needed to get out of the truck, but he was alert enough to know his door wasn't a possible escape.

Grimacing he thrust on the seat and managed to inch over to the passenger side and a gentle push quickly showed the door wasn't going to cooperate that easily. Turning so his feet were on the door he gritted his teeth and kicked the door with all the might he could summon. It worked and it swung open along with the grunt of pain that came from him. Somehow free he now stood on the sidewalk looking at his favorite truck crumpled and without emotion looked down the street in both directions.

At first he had no idea where he was because there was no other traffic and he seemed to be in a cut through alley at best. The stinging at his forehead reflexively brought his hand up to the open cut making him wince as he pushed the blood out of his eyes. Methodically he set his feet in motion and it wasn't until he reached a red light intersection where a street sign was finally visible that he knew he was somehow headed towards help.

Johnny tucked in his white long sleeved shirt and slapped on some aftershave before pulling on his sports jacket. He had waited all month for this New Year's Eve party and couldn't wait to meet the gang there for a great night of ringing in the New Year.

When the doorbell rang he looked at the clock and realized that Chet was actually early for a change. With a chuckle he pulled open the door. "Well, miracles do happen huh?"

The sight that greeted him was nothing short of shocking. Mike was disheveled, his jacket torn at the arm, his shirt covered in blood, head cut and bleeding and he was soaking wet.

"MIKE!" He quickly pulled the man into his apartment and guided him to the couch. "What the hell happened to you?"

Mike shook his head then grimaced as he realized it was the wrong motion to tackle. "I wrecked the truck."

Johnny shoved a finger at him, "Don't move!" He then ran into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of dishtowels before returning to his friend. In instant medic mode he quickly assessed how badly hurt he was. The laceration on his head was bleeding like a stuck pig though it wasn't all that deep. It would need stitches, but was easily fixed. He pressed a rag and put Mike's hand on the rag to hold it in place so he could proceed with the exam.

"Where are you hurt?" Legs and arms seemed intact though he winced a bit at the palpation of his ribs. He also noticed that Mike never answered him. "I'm calling for a squad."

"No," Mike grabbed his arm and looked up at him pleading. "Just give me a ride home."

Johnny shook his head. A ride? Really? "No way man, you're going to the ER."

At that moment another knock came at the door and reaching over he let Chet in who went from a smile to being perplexed at Johnny's expression to wide eyed shock when he saw Mike sitting here.

"What happened?" Chet asked them both.

"He wrecked his truck somewhere. Go call Roy and let him know what's happened and to meet us at Rampart."

Chet just nodded and half backed into the kitchen while reaching for the phone.

Johnny sat on the coffee table, eye to eye with Mike. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Hydroplaned I think. Hit a pole."

"Did you lose consciousness?"

Mike nodded then grimaced again. He looked up when Chet came back into the room.

"I got Roy, he'll meet us there." The distressed condition of the engineer rattled Chet and he suddenly realized he didn't like the feeling of having no uniform or equipment.

"Mike, we need to call in a squad," Johnny reiterated.

He looked up and shook his head. "No, I'll walk myself if you won't help me." Quickly Johnny weighed the pros and cons and glanced to Chet. "Okay, we'll take the Rover, but you're going to Rampart."

His whole body was already beginning to hurt and his vision was blurred now, either from unshed tears or blood, or even the probable concussion. All he knew was that they were right and with a nod of his head he conceded to the conditions.

Grabbing a blanket from the hall closet Johnny passed it to Chet who draped it over Mike's shoulders then cautiously helped him to his feet. They had a flight of stairs and Johnny hoped that since he somehow made it up them they could get him back down to the parking lot and into the Rover.

Thankfully the rain had slowed down a bit since it took both men to get Mike into the truck because he was becoming groggy and less cooperative. Johnny knew the window of getting him there without a fight was closing rapidly and they couldn't slow down at this point. With Chet and Mike in the backseat Johnny handed the lineman a clean rag. "Keep pressure on that cut."

"Sure Johnny." Chet was uneasy about how quiet the quiet engineer was and he was worried the injuries were worse than Johnny had been able to assess.

Pulling out into the street Johnny headed straight for Rampart in the drizzling rain and worsening foggy conditions. About two blocks from his place he cut through a couple of side streets to save time and somehow they managed to pass Mike's wrecked truck.

Johnny felt queasy and Chet's eyes got wide again. "Hell Mike!"

Johnny swallowed hard at the site of the totaled vehicle and kept going just thankful that somehow Mike had been close by and found him. When they arrived at the ER bay doors Johnny pulled into a drop off spot and glanced to Mike who was leaning back into the seat with his eyes closed.

"Mike?"

Mike opened his eyes with a sad vacant look that Johnny didn't understand though it did take him by surprise. It was just a truck and could be replaced, right?

"We're here, can you walk?"

Mike nodded and slid his legs out of the truck and to the ground. When he almost fell Johnny and Chet both grabbed him and helped him inside the doors in search of a wheelchair.

Dixie sat at the desk with her own personal downheartedness about what the evening was bringing. Kel was trading stories of the departments previous New Year's experiences with Joe which she just couldn't get into the spirit of.

"Right Dix?" Kel said with a chuckle then frowned at her distant attention span. "Hey, you okay?"

She nodded and smiled trying to refocus on the conversation because what she held close to her heart could not be shared. Looking up she saw Johnny and Chet, in street clothes, holding up a bloody Mike as they came down the hall.

"Kel!"

In seconds they had Mike in an exam room and surrounded by help.

"Can you put a call into Cap and let him know what's happened?" Johnny said quietly to Chet.

"Sure pally. Should I call Izzy?"

Johnny nodded. "You can try, but I bet she's at the club tonight." The momentary flash of why Mike wasn't with her crossed his mind, but he quickly shrugged it away.

Dixie worked on getting vital signs while Kel began his assessment, gently palpating all extremities, neck, back, and then abdomen.

"What happened Mike?"

"Wrecked my truck."

Johnny shook his head as Joe looked into his eyes for pupil reflex. "Doc, wrecked is an understatement. He wrapped it around a pole."

Kel looked up with disbelieving eyes. "Is that true?" He asked Mike.

Mike just shrugged then winced with pain.

"Okay, just relax. I want to get some x-rays to see what's going on."

Dixie focused on vital signs, getting his IV started, directing the other nurses for phone calls and supplies. Anything other than looking into eyes so sad it took her back to his worst days following the electrocution.

"Joe, blood pressure is 110/60, pulse 118, respirations 20."

He nodded. At least his numbers didn't look as bad as he did. "Let's get that IV going and get him out of those wet clothes and cleaned up some."

When Johnny stepped out of the room he found Chet pacing the hallway. "Get Cap?"

He nodded. "Yea man, he's out of town for a party, but said to keep him posted on what's going on." He paused. "Is he going to be okay?"

"I think so. Doc is getting some x-rays now." He looked up. "Izzy?"

"No answer at her place and just an answering machine at the Blue River."

Johnny's mind was in overdrive. "Okay, when we know what's going on then one of us can go get her. I don't want to scare her."

Looking up he saw Roy and Kanda rushing through the ER doors.

"Johnny, how is he?" She asked with concern.

"I don't know he seems pretty shaken up. They have him in treatment four, Brackett's with him now," Johnny answered. He looked to Roy. "You should have seen his truck Roy. I mean, it was bad. I still don't know how he walked away from it."

"He just showed up at your place?" Roy was still trying to figure out what had actually happened.

"Yea, just standing there in the rain, bleeding, walking around in some kinda daze or something." Johnny ran his fingers through his hair. "He's really hurt. I should have forced him to wait for a squad."

"You got him here Junior, that's what's important." He looked down the quiet hallway. "Let's go check on him." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"We'll be in the lounge, keep us posted."

Dixie watched the x-ray tech wheel the giant machine from the room as she approached Mike with towels and a hospital gown. They both looked up to see Roy and Johnny peek in the room.

"Safe to come in?"

Dixie smiled. "Come on in. I could use a hand anyways."

It was obvious that Mike was very sore and having difficulty moving around very much. "How ya doing pally?" Roy asked him.

His voice was low and quiet. "Seen better days."

Dixie tenderly rubbed Mike's arm then looked at Roy for some unspoken help. With slow and easy movements they got his coat and shirt off so Dixie could clean up the multiple cuts and scrapes scattered on his arms and face and help him get dried off. The whole time he remained quiet as Johnny bagged up the wet laundry to take back home and carried it to the lounge.

Roy helped him lay back down.

He looked up to her with a grief that broke her heart. "Did you know?"

Roy looked at Dixie like how was she supposed to know he would wreck his truck. Instead, he watched her swallow hard and put the towel down as tears formed in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Mike."

"Why? It doesn't make any sense. What did I do wrong?"

Roy stepped back suddenly feeling like something much larger than a truck accident was going on here.

"Nothing. You did absolutely nothing wrong Mike Stoker, do you hear me?"

"Is there someone else?"

She shook her head. "No, and there never has been. It's only you that she loves so much."

"Loved." His voice was a whisper.

Roy was putting pieces together and he was afraid to ask the question. "Mike?"

"She left me."

Roy felt dumbfounded as he stumbled over his words. "What? She … when?"

"Tonight at dinner. Told me she didn't love me anymore and gave me the ring back. This has to be a mistake. I need to see her." He tried to sit up but held his ribs and groaned.

Kel walked into the room. "You're not going anywhere." He looked over to see Roy standing there. "Roy?" His brief surprise at seeing Roy off duty there was evident.

"Johnny called."

Kel nodded. Of course, these guys were friends and family.

Roy nodded to him. "How bad?"

"Amazingly, he managed to escape any serious injuries. The ribs aren't broken, just bruised and probably just a mild concussion. We'll stitch up the laceration and bind your ribs for comfort."

"Then there's no reason for me to stay." Mike no longer looked like the lost child that had been helped in.

Kel shook his head. "The concussion alone is reason to watch you for the next 24 hours."

Mike sat up this time and swung his legs over. "I'm going home."

Roy knew that look on Mike's face and it brought back not so old memories of a stubborn engineer that could not be swayed. He couldn't believe what Mike told him; it just didn't seem possible. They seemed so happy, she seemed so happy.

"Uh doc, does he need to be in the hospital or can he just be watched over night?"

Kel processed the request knowing what Roy was going to ask next. "Well, he needs neuro checks and to be watched closely."

Roy nodded. "We can do that doc. He can come home with us."

Mike popped his head up but seeing the stubborn look on Roy's face he decided to not push his luck, especially if this would get him out of staying overnight.

It wasn't Kel's first choice, but he also knew that Mike could not be pushed into something he didn't agree with. That had been a well learned lesson months ago. At least Roy could keep an eye on him and he was pretty sure he would drag him back in if something wasn't right.

"Hourly neuro checks and I want you back here at ten a.m. for a re-check."

Mike released a breath and relaxed. "Thanks." It was directed to both Kel and Roy.

Roy walked down the hallway towards the doctor's lounge. Mikes demeanor was now understood even if he still wasn't able to understand what when wrong. But then neither could Mike, that much was obvious. When he opened up the lounge door he found Kanda near the window sipping on coffee while Johnny and Chet sat at the round table talking. They all looked at him anxiously.

"Well?" She asked with deep concern.

Roy nodded. "He's okay. Bruised ribs and a mild concussion, he was lucky."

Johnny scoffed. "That's an understatement. What the hell was he doing out near me in the first place? We were supposed to meet at the Blue River. I mean I was about to walk out the door." It was obvious that Johnny was still pretty rattled by what happened and the scary possibility of what could have happened.

"We have a bigger problem," Roy said with a pensive tone.

They all looked at him with a new worry.

He met eyes with Kanda knowing she had been spending a lot of time with Izzy recently. "Did you know she was going to leave him?" His tone was protective of his friend and harsher than he meant it to be.

She nearly dropped her coffee. "What?"

"Izzy left him tonight." He looked to Johnny. "That's why he was out on the road and probably why he was headed to your place."

Chet looked between all the faces like a child trying to understand an adult conversation. Izzy had become a good friend and he couldn't imagine Mike with anyone else. "No, that can't be possible. I mean we just saw her, them at the Christmas party."

"Possible and happened. She gave the ring back." He then looked to Kanda. "You knew nothing of this?"

"God Roy, I swear I had no idea. I mean she's been sad and more distant, but I kept writing that off to all that she'd been through. She never said anything to me about something like this."

"Dixie knew."

Kanda tilted her head and looked almost betrayed. "Well, I didn't."

Chet's voice sounded rough. "You mean that after she dumped him he got into this accident?"

Roy nodded. "Seems so."

Chet's lipped thinned as he clamped his jaw shut. Roy could see the raw emotions building in the room. "Look, right now he's physically hurt and in more pain than he knows how to handle. He's refused to stay the night so Brackett has agreed to discharge him home to us." He eyes met Kanda's with a compassion that she instantly read.

She nodded softly to him. "We'll take care of him."

Johnny also had his own warehouse of emotions about to bust the door down. "I'm going to find her."

Roy put his hand on Johnny's chest. "Not tonight," he said even as he felt the push against his hand build, but Roy wouldn't yield.

Kanda spoke gently to him. "Johnny, if this is hurting us this much just imagine what Mike is going through right now. Now's not the time to make rash decisions and it's something that he and Izzy will have to work out, if they can. We don't know everything that's going on so let's get him home and taken care of first. In the light of the new day we'll try to help him figure out what's going on."

Johnny took a step back and let the tension leave his body. His sister was right and now wasn't the time. He liked Izzy a lot, but his loyalty rode with his friend and co-worker who nearly lost his life tonight.

This wasn't the end of the discussion.

* * *

He pulled his coat hood up over his head as the rain continued to trickle down and threaten to seep into his bones. Once Roy and Kanda drove off with Mike heading to the ranch he couldn't bring himself to simply go home and pretend like everything was okay when it so obviously wasn't. He'd seen the look in his friend's eye. Pain so deep it made his own chest hurt. So as Mike found his way to help, he now found his way here and looking up at the turned out light he questioned what his next move should be.

He wanted to yell at her, demand answers, and drag her back to Mike. His anger mounted the more he thought about it. His friend could have died and she sat here singing the night away like nothing had happened. Did she even care? Was her callous equal to his pain?

It was obviously late enough that the bar had closed but there were still cars in the back lot which meant they were still cleaning up. Opening the door he slipped in quietly finding the main club room almost empty. Almost.

On the stage stood Izzy, someone sat at the piano and her father stood behind her with a guitar. His instant impression was that she looked drawn, exhausted, and surprising to him the same look of sadness he had witnessed in Mike. When the music started he pushed back against the wall, into the shadows. One thing he had learned from her is that she sang from her heart and he wanted to know what she had to say.

_If I should stay, I would only be in your way  
So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you every step of the way.  
And I will always love you. I will always love you. _

He staggered with the words that spoke as clearly as if she was speaking to Mike himself. Her voice echoed her pain through the empty hallway and as she finished her father hugged her as she cried. What had started out as a mission of revenge became one of ultimate confusion and as he backed through the front doors and into the cold night once again Chet realized that more than ever that there was an untold story waiting to be revealed.

* * *

I Will Always Love You by Dolly Parton (1973)


	33. Chapter 33

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St Vincent Millay

_A/N: I apologize for my absence. Crazy work, vacation, lost a good friend that left me heartbroken and just had to wait until my writing muse came back to visit. Izzy is my OC who was written for Mike. This continues their story. Thanks to all my readers._

"Wounds"

Chapter 33

* * *

He looked at the calendar and reluctantly turned it over to March. Almost two weeks into the month and he had not been able to face seeing the time pass so visually on the wall every day. Weeks had gone by with every day turning into a blur and every action seeming to only lead to a dead end.

Of course his first thought was to get back to the Blue River immediately; however, all they found was a sign on the door that said 'Closed until Further Notice'. If that hadn't shaken him then seeing a moving van packing up her place and hauling it off did. Dan's house was locked up and it was obvious he was gone for the long haul. There was no forwarding address anywhere. Even her co-workers had not been put in the loop of her future job that awaited her. Every turn had proven fruitless in those first couple of weeks.

As fast as she had come into his life, she had disappeared.

Putting up his coffee cup he grabbed his overnight bag and keys before making his way downstairs. A distant call said good morning, but he hurried on as if not hearing her knowing this morning wasn't a chatty mood for him. Even the new truck did little to lift his spirits as it seemed to be just another disjointed part of his life at this point.

Thankfully the Sunday morning traffic was light as he ambled down the street with no sense of urgency or anticipation. It was just another day, in a very long line of other days.

* * *

Roy and Johnny sat on the back bumper of the squad in quiet contemplation before Johnny stood up and began pacing.

"Why are we even still trying to find her? I mean, she's the one that left and didn't care in the least. Why does he even care anymore?"

Roy looked up to the younger medic. "I just think he needs some answers to put it all to rest. We're not talking about some fly by night one date girl here. He planned on spending the rest of his life with her. Wouldn't you want to know?"

Johnny was torn and he couldn't help the anger he was harboring towards the woman missing in action. "Maybe, maybe not. I'm just not so sure I'd go hunting for someone that lied and only pretended to love me."

"It was real. I know it was."

They looked over to see Mike come around the back of the engine.

"Hey man, sorry, I didn't …." Johnny stammered out.

Mike held up his hand. "No, it's okay really, but that's one thing I can be sure about. I appreciate that you guys helped me out." He leaned against Big Red. "Not knowing is just hard."

Johnny tried to let himself see the conflict in his friend, but it was difficult to get past the wake of misery she had left behind. He also knew that Roy was biting his tongue wanting to keep him from egging on the conversation. The problem was that Johnny tended to wear his feelings on his sleeve when it came to his workmates and friends and nothing that Mike had been through in the last two months settled well with him.

"It's been weeks with no contact. I don't know anything else to do."

Even when Dixie realized that Izzy was really gone she had updated Mike on all she knew. Maslin had referred Izzy over to Roberson. He is the leading cardiac surgeon in the region and it looked like she might need a pacemaker because of her continued abnormal rhythms. Roberson had apparently told her she wasn't a candidate yet and sent her back to her primary doctor. Even then there were still too many unanswered questions for him. Was this disappearance intentional or just proof on how easy it was for a person to dissolve into the general population at will?

"Roy phone!"

Roy disappeared leaving Mike and Johnny in silence. Their views were so different on the situation and for the first time Johnny felt unsure on the best way to console his friend.

"Breakfast!" Chet bellowed and became the saving bell for them both.

When they walked into the dayroom Chet was putting the orange juice on the table as Marco took a scoop out of the breakfast casserole and picked the plate up to smell it.

"What's in here man?" His nose crinkled at the smell.

Everyone did the same as they put a spoonful onto their plate.

Chet dried his hands on the towel and then clapped them together. "It's a new recipe."

Everyone groaned. Chet ignored them and kept talking. "It's a blend of cheddar and Monterey jack cheeses mixed with fresh chopped onions, peppers, and mushrooms."

Everyone's eyes lit up deciding it was sounding better and better. They all scooped up a bite and eyed it closely.

"With a touch of three blend pepper, crushed garlic, scrambled eggs and …" the oven timer went off and he turned quickly to silence it.

The forks filled everyone's mouth but Roy's. "And?" He said.

"And, an ancient family find that gives you vitality and brain power. Eat up, it's great."

They all chewed and smiled at the taste. A few mmm's were even heard around the table.

"Chet." Roy pressed as his fork remained poised in front of his lips.

"Oh, it's nothing special, just ground chicken hearts."

Hank put his fork down. "Chet you didn't."

Mike, Johnny and Hank spit their food out while Roy slowly and cautiously put his fork back down. They all looked at Marco who was taking another big bite.

"What?" He mumbled through a stuffed mouth.

"How can you eat that stuff?" Johnny asked with pure shock.

Marco shrugged. "We eat a lot of things in my country that you gringos would cringe at."

Johnny scoffed. "My country." He tossed his fork onto the plate and cocked his head towards the lineman. "Marco you know you were born here, right?"

Marco finished swallowing. "True, but my momma wasn't."

They just shook their heads then shuddered as he got a second helping.

_Squad 51, Heart Attack, Crusty's Fried Chicken, corner of Hampshire and Greenbelt, time out 0847_

With gratitude both men pushed their plates of food away from them and headed to the squad. Thankfully, the rainy season of El Nino had eased up and the streets were drying out as the sun heated the air for an unusually warm Southern California day.

"I thought the place would burn down before anyone had a chance to have a heart attack," Johnny said as he pointed to the next turn. "Left."

"Yea, I guess after the fifth violation they got their act together." Roy looked to see the tiny restaurant come into view.

The little brick building had definitely seen better days as the neon sign sizzled with only the F in fried actually working. Outside the wood trim had rotted away leaving the hand rail leaning to the outside and the front steps questionable to hold even the weight of the stray black cat that lingered for scraps. To be on the safe side they both just skipped them all together and stepped directly onto the front porch.

Inside the air was thick with cigar and cigarette smoke as a handful of patrons sat at rickety round tables that actually groaned and tilted as they were leaned on causing plates and cups to shift positions as customers moved to see the commotion go by. Afraid to even touch the walls or furniture Johnny skillful maneuvered through the limited space towards the figure that stood in the middle of the room looking down. The apparent chef stood over a man who lay sprawled out on the floor, in a nonchalant stance as he wiped his filthy hands on the even more disgusting apron that clung around his neck.

"That's him," he pointed to the distressed man. "Heart attack if in ya ask me. And it ain't because of my food!"

Johnny wanted to mumble under his breath but he held his tongue seeing that the man was in obvious distress. He knelt down beside the middle aged patient who was diaphoretic, frantic appearing and writhing in pain. Beginning a rapid assessment Johnny got to work as Roy set up the bio-phone and pulled out basic supplies.

"Sir, does your chest hurt?"

The man nodded, clutching his chest and gasped for breath. "Ca, Can't breathe! Stomach hurts."

"Okay, okay. I need you to try and calm down for me if you can. Do you have a history of heart problems?" Johnny mentally catalogued the exam findings as he tried to put the pieces of this not clear cut puzzle together.

The man shook his head vigorously. "I feed weird, help me."

Johnny slipped the cuff around his arm. "You're hyperventilating. Try and slow your breathing down for me." He proceeded to take his pressure and pulse rate.

Roy shook his head. "Johnny, look at his face."

The man was flushed, but Johnny saw it too. His face was swollen. Actually it was swelling right before their eyes.

"Sir, can you tell me what you had to eat?" Roy asked as he put an oxygen mask over him as he quickly assessed that the man wasn't focusing on him anymore. He looked up to the waitress. "What did he order?"

She shrugged and looked nonplussed over the drama. "Let's see." She pulled out her order booklet and flipped through the pages. "Yea, here it is. He got the Tuesday breakfast special with hash browns and apples."

"He's wheezing and look," Johnny held up the patient's hand. "Look at this swelling. Pulse 140, BP 90/65, respirations 32."

Roy nodded. "What _was_ the special in the breakfast?"

"Catch of the day darlin," she pointed to the blackboard menu board by the bar. The catch of the day was crab.

"Rampart, this is squad 51, do you read?"

_Go ahead 51, read you loud and clear._

"Rampart, we have a male, approximately 48 years of age with wheezing, difficulty breathing, swelling of face, lips and hands, abdominal pain, initially talking to us, but now unresponsive. BP 90/65, pulse 140, respirations 32. He is pale, cyanotic with oxygen at 10 liters. We cannot confirm an allergy, but he just finished eating shellfish.

"_51, Epinephrine IM now, place esophageal airway before that airway is completely gone and start LR at 100cc/hr."_

"10-4 Rampart, Epi IM now, airway and IV LR at 100."

Johnny immediately drew up the epinephrine and injected it into his thigh then worked at getting the IV started. Roy moved to his head and worked at placing the airway. Once the airway was secured he attached the ambu bag and passed it to Johnny.

"_Update 51,"_ the com crackled.

"Rampart, Epinephrine is in and airway is secured. Patient is beginning to breathe on his own. HR 128, BP 110/60."

"_Transport immediately. Be prepared to repeat the Epi if needed."_

"10-4 Rampart. Ambulance is now on scene."

The medics looked at each other with never ending amazement at how quickly you have to change gears when an expected rescue turns into something completely unexpected.

* * *

Roy poured some coffee and passed it to Johnny as they took a moment's reprieve in the doctor's lounge. Both looked up when Dixie and Brackett came in.

"How's he doing doc?" Johnny asked.

Kel shook his head and smiled. "Doing great. Somehow he had managed to go 48 years without eating shellfish."

Dixie stuck her hands in her pockets. "Until today."

Roy chuckled. "Bet he wishes he'd gone with the blue plate special instead."

"You got that right," Kel said. "Good to see you guys." He waived and headed back down the hallway.

"You too doc," they chimed in.

Dixie leaned against the counter. "I just wanted to let you guys know that I've not been able to find anything out through my Tennessee contact." She nodded her head to them. "Any word from your end?"

Roy shook his head as his eyes shot to his partner.

Johnny scoffed. "And it can stay that way."

Dixie tilted her head. "Johnny, I can't even pretend to understand why she did it, but I do know it wasn't easy on her."

"Easy on _her_? Well, let's all make sure it was easy on her." There was no mistaking his anger and hurt as he planted his rocked back chair firmly back on the ground. "If she knew she was going to do this then she should've done it a long time ago and saved us all a lot of trouble."

Her brow creased. "She was clearly confused when I talked to her even though I really didn't think she would take it to this extreme. She's hurting and scared and had no idea how to handle all the stress."

"Well, unfortunately running left a world of hurt behind her," Roy said quietly.

She nodded. "Maybe someday we'll understand why."

Johnny stood up and roughly put his cup in the sink before heading to the door. He turned back to them. "If understanding means having to see her again then I hope to never find out."

* * *

Johnny ran to the door at the loud knock and opened it to find Chet standing there with a grocery bag of food.

"Food in the kitchen, there's cold ones in the fridge."

Chet put the sack down on the table. "Where is everyone?"

Johnny helped pull out the chips and pour them into bowls. "Roy had to drop Chris off at Joanne's. Marco said Cap was picking him up because his car wouldn't crank this morning."

"Mike?"

"He promised to come." Johnny felt mildly deflated as he put the chips on the table and sat down to shuffle the cards again.

This was their fourth attempt, in as many weeks, at a poker party and obvious bribery to get Mike out of his funk. However, each time he had managed to come up with some excuse to avoid the crowd. When the doorbell rang Chet got it this time and smiled big as Marco and Hank came in with six packs in their hands and plates of food that already smelled wonderful.

Chet clapped his hands together. "Well?"

Marco shook his head, but smiled. "I told momma you wanted quesadillas so she made you those plus stuffed jalapenos and her special enchilada meatballs.

Chet was practically drooling as he clapped Marco on the shoulder. "Oh Marco my friend, your momma is a gift from the heavens."

When the next knock came to the door Hank answered it as Marco worked at listing the reasons why his momma would never adopt Chet.

"Roy, come on in Pally," Hand shook his hand.

"Thanks Cap, am I the last one?" Roy looked around the bustling room of men, food and beer.

Hank raised his eyebrows with a hopeful anticipation. "Next to last."

He understood. Everyone was there, but Mike. Impromptu poker games had become a tradition for the friends to have some non-work interaction and relaxation. It was a time when they could put up their feet and have no fear of a klaxon going off. Only recently had they become more frequent and singularly motivated. The guys knew that as the weeks passed they had stopped talking about her feeling that Mike didn't need any reminders and with a hope that he could start to move forward again with life. They all worked at making her a distant memory for their own piece of mind and possibly for Mike's also.

However, Roy knew that his friend was having trouble letting go. Anyone that watched the engineer at work would see a dutiful working fireman, hard at the job, dedicated to his craft and at the top of his game. Unless you knew him. The subtle lack luster of enthusiasm lingered and though he didn't hesitate in any on the job action, never whined, complained or had a self-serving pity party, it was clear he was distracted off the job. Whether working out at the gym or going on afternoon runs his workmates could feel the deep quietness of their friend sink back in.

They spent a few minutes standing around talking when Hank called the game to order and reluctantly they all grabbed a chair and settled in for the deal. The pang of a missing friend bothered them all, but they had learned to not talk about it lest the anger rise to the surface again into an argument that couldn't be won.

"Chet, what is that?"

"My personal deck Johnny boy."

"I have cards so just put those away."

Chet looked hurt. "These cards have been in my family…"

Hank gave up quickly and went to the kitchen in search of food while Marco leaned back in his chair and rolled his eyes. Roy just smiled at how easily Chet could get his partner riled up.

Johnny put his finger out and began shaking it. "Now listen to me. I'm the dealer here and I can guarantee you that I'm not going to use some shady deck from an imaginary legendary family member of yours."

Chet's mouth dropped open. "Shady? Imaginary? John, I can't believe you'd say such hurtful things."

Johnny stuttered to a standstill and looked momentarily confused in his rant. "Well."

"All I did was try and contribute to this fine gathering you've created and bring a positive aura to it."

Johnny cocked his head and looked at Roy.

"I bought you those cards at the 7-11 off Conway last year."

They looked up to see Mike standing there with a bag of pretzels and a plate full of cookies.

"Now you show up?" Chet said sarcastically. "Thanks a lot pally."

Roy grinned and stood up. "Good to see ya Mike."

Chet stood up and reached for the cookies only to have them promptly removed from his hand by Hank.

"No cookies for you Kelly," he told him with a very serious face. "Keep it up and I'm sure I could find you some latrine duty around here."

Johnny quietly pointed up the stairs leaving Chet looking crushed as him and Marco started laughing. Without fanfare Mike pulled up a chair and reached for a handful of chips. As Johnny dealt out the hands the spirit in the room quickly lifted and it became a group of friends wanting nothing more than to waste an evening away with relaxing fun.

* * *

Roy tossed his chips into the center and raised the ante to Marco who folded leaving only him and Hank left in the hand. Hank eyed Roy close trying to determine his bluff versus winning hand. At the station his commanding presence could make even the strongest of his men shift their feet, but not here, at least not with Roy. The senior medic remained stone faced and resolute with his hand making Hank fight the urge to unceremoniously shift his own stance. Marco leaned back in the chair and watched as the others had migrated to the kitchen and now loudly heckled each other about the latest Laker's game and apparently lost bets.

Hank leaned in and tossed in his chips. "Call."

Roy looked down at his hand and quietly clamped his jaw down. Over his right hand shoulder Mike came over and gazed at his hand while Hank locked eyes with the engineer trying to find some hint of what was being held, perhaps even just a reflection of the cards. Without taking his eyes off his Captain, Roy tossed in more chips leaving a single one remaining in front of him. Hank knew what his own hand held, a pair of Jacks, giving room for Roy to out pair him at the very least. But it wasn't in his nature to back down so easily. Sitting back in his chair he refused to let Chet's cookie eating or Johnny's potato chip munching distract him from the mind boring stare he placed on Roy.

The medic never blinked. Well, he probably did, but Hank looked at his two remaining chips and decided that going home with nothing wouldn't bode for a relaxing bedtime. With a big smile he sighed and called, "I'm out."

Mike laughed as Roy laid down his handful of random numbers with a pair of three's.

"Three's?" Hank belted out and looked to the others for help. "Three's?"

Roy smiled and shrugged. "Sorry Cap."

Hank laughed. "You're not sorry so don't play that look on me." He stood up and stretched then glared at Chet who instantly shoved an entire cookie in his mouth. Walking past him slowly Hank laughed as he reached the kitchen. "Twit."

Mike sat down and began shuffling for the next hand. His shoulders were relaxed and his smile more genuine than they had seen in a very long time.

"Why don't you make these at work?" Chet mumbled through a mouth full of crumbs.

"Oh, I didn't make um, Kharis did."

Johnny's interest was instantly peaked. "Kharis huh? Thought she was moving?"

Mike shrugged. "She was going to, but the other place got rented out from underneath her so she's still looking."

"She still as pushy for a date?" Marco chimed in.

Mike shook his head, but stayed quiet.

"She still dating that bartender? You know the one from over at Carl's Corner?" Johnny asked.

"No, she's dating someone else now," Mike offered.

Roy sat back and watched the conversation play out.

Chet slapped Johnny on the shoulder. "You remember that time I went over and she about mauled me in the parking lot for information about Mikey there?"

Johnny laughed. "Yea, I thought she was going to start pulling limbs off if you didn't fill her in on his exact location."

"Stalker," Marco chuckled.

"Nah, she's not a stalker, she's nice when you give her a chance," Mike said as he began dealing out the new hand.

Chet sat down with his chair turned backwards, his arms propped on the back. He nodded his head. "That so." He bit down on his hotdog and chewed for a minute. "Well, I hope he's able to deal with her nonstop talking."

"Guess so," Mike said as he pulled up his own cards to look at them.

"And patient enough for the all hours impromptu visits that she's so good at," Johnny chimed in as he grimaced at his own dealt hand.

"Most likely."

"Maybe it's worth it for the cookies," Marco chuckled.

"She's not that bad guys," Mike said a bit exasperated.

Roy narrowed his eyes a tiny amount. "Do _you_ know who she's dating?"

"Yea."

All eyes seemed to focus on Mike now and he shifted in his seat.

"Well?" Chet whined.

He put his cards lower on the table and sighed. "Okay, it's me. We're dating now."

Everyone laughed and offered congratulations to him around the table.

"Sorry about the stalker comment," Marco said.

Mike shrugged. "It's okay; she was a little stalkerish in the beginning. But, now she's okay."

"No man, this is really great!" Johnny announced. "Really, I'm happy for ya Mikey. You deserve it."

"Thanks," Mike replied.

It was like a graduation step for him and though he had no inclination to discuss it with anyone he hoped that maybe if he pretended to move on then at some point it might start to feel real in his heart.

Johnny rubbed his hands together and looked at Roy. "Now, it's time for some serious poker playing fellas."

Roy smiled. "Let's see what ya got Junior."

* * *

Mike pulled out the chair for Kharis before sitting down across from her. The large Italian restaurant was busy and resounded with clattering china, glasses, and loud talking. The cheesy and poorly recorded Italian music that blared overhead allowed for minimal conversation when one really didn't want to talk.

"How was work?"

He nodded. "Quiet shift." Then looked up, "you?"

She also nodded. "Same here, not bad. Jason in the mailroom tried to prank everyone with fake letters today from personnel." She started laughing. "It was really funny. Everyone's letter said they had been given a three day notice and to clear out their lockers."

Mike frowned. "That's terrible."

She waved her hands and kept laughing. "No, really, it was hysterical. By lunch half the staff was near tears when he finally fessed up."

Mike shook his head. It was a humor he didn't see as very funny. Probably because he couldn't see Hank appreciating the stunt at all. "Did he get fired?"

Throwing a hand his way she scoffed. "Oh no, we play jokes like that all the time."

With a raise of his eyebrows he realized that he had never shared the Phantom's pranks with her. Instead, they began eating as the plates were placed in front of them.

"Did you find out about Thursday night?"

"Yea," he said. "I can't get off, I'm sorry."

She made a deep frowny face like a child. "Awe, that makes me sad. I wanted you to come with me."

He let out a small sigh. "I can't get off for everything you know."

The conversation paused while they ate, finished, and the plates were cleared.

"Can we hang out at your place tonight?" She said coyly.

He felt weary. "I don't think tonight. I'm really beat from working extra this week. Maybe this weekend."

She sighed. "Okay cutie, but this weekend is ours."

After she put her arm around his waist he extended his to her without offering up any promises.

Getting back into his apartment he tossed his coat onto the small chair behind the door then locked himself in for the night. With an audible oomph he fell back into the couch and turned on the TV. When flipping through all the channels four times didn't reveal anything worth watching he turned it off and sat there in the dark.

These were his days now. Working, a weak attempt at dating, morning runs and smiling his way through poker games. In the dark he could see the apartment fill with ambient light from the full moon outside. It made the place seem almost surreal and honestly that's how it felt most of the time. He couldn't shake the feeling that it didn't feel like his real home anymore.

And with that he put his hands in his head. The self-torture was the constant reminder of what he couldn't forget. He had tried, harder than any could have imagined, he had tried. Once again pushing it aside he got up and headed to bed. His bed. He emphasized that in his mind.

His place, his bed, his life now.

* * *

The clock went off early and without hitting the snooze he got up and pulled on some sweats and his running shoes. The sun was just barely coming up, but this was the best time of day to run for him and pulling up his hoodie he plunged into the cool morning air to hit the pavement.

Running cleared his mind. It had always been therapeutic for him, something that came without effort and didn't require fanfare or thought. It was mindless. The buildings passed by him, cars whizzed by, strangers at bus stops didn't even give him a glance. It put him in his own bubble of existence. Today was a free run day. He had no work, no meetings, no gym meet ups and had told Kharis he would be tied up for the day. He needed the alone time for reasons that he couldn't really explain.

Yes, her company had helped pass the time and she had been a positive energy that usually couldn't be denied and it had visibly quelled the worried looks of friends, parents, and co-workers. He had told her from the start that it was just dating and his was unable to put more into the relationship for now. Unfortunately, those last two words were all that she had heard and she constantly encouraged him to move forward instead of sideways.

So he kept running this morning, destination unknown.

When he is legs felt like jello and his lungs screamed for unlabored oxygen he stopped and leaned against a telephone pole, his hands on his knees as he gasped for recovery. Even now, he didn't want to stop. After a very few minutes he plunged forward, almost with a desperation that he couldn't explain. His feet hit the pavement with a determination that surprised even him. He watched the world go by in front of him even though he really wasn't absorbing any of it.

The texture under his feet eventually changed, became softer and the sun was now higher and rapidly growing hotter. Soon he would have to shed the jacket, but he didn't want to stop for it, he couldn't stop yet. Something was driving him forward and even if he had no idea what it was he followed.

"HEY SLOW DOWN!"

The yell brought him back to reality and as he slowed he felt the burning in his lungs as they pleaded for rest and recovery. He had done long distance running in high school, running with a specific goal, but as he came to a stop and looked around he tried to figure out where he had landed.

The small community park had a water fountain and was surrounded by trees and jogging trails. Kids were playing on a small play set as parents dutifully watched over them. Reaching out he put his hand on the wooden bench and felt the tightness grow in his chest. He knew clearly where he was now. This was their park. The one they started jogging to when he was healing. He wasn't an overly sentimental man, but this took him by alarm and as his eyes watered he realized why he had found his way here.

It was time to say goodbye.


	34. Chapter 34

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

There is an unseen life that dreams us. It knows our true direction and destiny. ~John O'Donohue

Thanks so much for your support :)

* * *

CHAPTER 34

Coincidence

Mike rinsed out his razor and put away the shaving supplies before heading downstairs. A sense of restlessness stirred through him as he waited for the right time to go by and pick up Kharis for their date. They hadn't really been seeing each other on a regular basis and if he was completely honest with himself he knew he was the reason why. Her desires were clear.

He just wasn't ready yet. It wasn't a pining over Izzy or maybe it was. Sometimes, being honest with yourself is tricky, but he did know one thing. There was a deep need to be content with his own life first, before adding someone else into it again. Unfortunately, he had been terrible at expressing that sentiment to Kharis and the façade of a relationship had continued for the last few weeks.

There was nothing in him that wanted to lead her on. He just dreaded having to be forceful enough to get the point across so she would accept it, yet not teeter to the other side of despair for either one of them. The knot in his stomach tightened as he glanced at the clock and knew it was time to escort her to dinner. It had one twist for knowing the smile she wore was genuine and caring and another twist for knowing tonight he would hurt her. However, it was time for honesty though, for him and her.

She bubbled over at the restaurant, at the food, the decorations and even the stereo music that piped in through the speaker system. Her enjoyment of everything around her followed her most everywhere and it was a good thing, except when you knew you held the proverbial needle that would soon burst that bubble. They managed to get through dinner with little conversation from his end then decided to walk the short distance back home while enjoying the quiet evening streets of Carson.

"That was nice, thank you Mike," she said warmly as she leaned against him.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

They came to a bench just down the block from their complex and he guided her to sit down. Pulling up a smile he squeezed her hand. The subtle shake of her head spoke volumes to him.

"Kharis," he said softly.

"Don't," she interrupted him then let out a deep breath. "I know what you're going to say and since I've been playing it in my head for a while now I don't think I can handle hearing it out loud."

"What?"

She reached over and stroked his arm as he sat beside her. "You're the sweetest guy I've ever dated or even known. Too sweet to have told me before now what we both already really know.

He tilted his head down. "I'm really sorry Kharis. I feel the same way about you. I just can't give you what you deserve."

"We just have to keep the faith that the right person is out there looking for us." Smiling she leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. "Still friends I hope."

"Definitely."

* * *

"It was that easy?" Marco asked him in the locker room.

Mike scoffed. "Well, I wouldn't call it easy, but she didn't seem to hate me afterwards," he said as he tied his shoes.

"Not that you know of yet," Chet added from behind them. "Just wait til your asleep one night. Stalker girl will be in the window."

Mike shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Better than pretending something's there when it isn't," Johnny said.

"Need something out here that isn't," Roy said sticking his head in the door.

The others quickly hustled out into the bay as they buttoned up the last of the buttons, and tucking in their shirts.

"Nice of you fella's to join us," Hank said in a deadpan voice.

"Sorry Cap," Marco said. It was quickly echoed by the others as Hank ignored them and preceded down the roster and list of daily duties.

"Roy, dayroom. Marco and Mike, hoses. Johnny bunks and bay. Chet…"

Chet put his hands up. "Latrines, yes Cap."

"Mike, kitchen pally."

"Well, at least it's not another tortured day with Chet cooking," Johnny said as he rubbed his hands together.

Chet rolled his eyes, but couldn't bring himself to let the jibe go unanswered. "No worries pally, when the cooks away, the Phantom has time to play."

This time Roy rolled his eyes at Johnny. "Now see what you started."

The confounded look that his medic partner wore did nothing to relieve his own dread of the upcoming day's antics.

_STATION 51, INJURED CHILD…..TIME OUT 0812._

"Well, if he stays busy today then he can't cause too much trouble," Johnny said as they darted to the squad and jumped in.

Roy knew it was never that simple.

* * *

The address was an older neighborhood and the squad easily found the unassuming home. Hopping out they grabbed the basic boxes and jogged up to the front door.

"He's back here."

They turned to the young voice to see a child of about 12 waving and yelling at them from the side of the house. Heading in his direction they glanced to see the engine pull up beside them and each had their own gratitude to see back up when it involved a child rescue.

Johnny reached him first. "Where is he?"

The boy took off running to the backyard with the others right behind him. When they rounded the corner they found a nicely decorated back porch surrounded with blooming flowers and various lawn decorations. The first thing that caught Roy's eye was a large pile of lumber that appeared to be a play set being constructed. The difference here was instead of everything organized and sorted it was a large jumbled heap of disaster.

"Is he under this?"

Johnny began side stepping around the large jumble of metal, wood, fallen swings and a large slide.

"His mom is gonna kill us," the young boy said.

For everyone approaching that was a confirmation and six sets of hands began moving timbers as quickly and carefully as they could.

"Son, what happened?" Hank asked him.

"His dad has been working on it for a while and well, we got tired of waiting and started playing on it today. I mean, we didn't know!"

"Roy!" Chet hollered out.

They ran up to see the small foot that Chet had uncovered. Roy quickly reached down to find a pulse.

"He's alive."

Quickly, the remaining wood on him was removed and revealed the small frame that was trapped underneath. He was lying on his side and was unconscious. Johnny gently aligned his neck and body and they log rolled him to his back to begin their rapid assessments.

"Large contusion to the right temple, broken left leg, bruising to his abdomen," Roy said as Johnny opened up the bio phone.

"Kelly, grab the splint out of the squad. Lopez, let's get this mess cleared up so they can get the stretcher to them. Mike, keep an eye out for the ambulance." Hank said as the medics worked on the victim. "Is anyone home?" He then asked the boy.

"My folks aren't home right now so I called his mom at work. She's on the way."

About that time a frantic looking woman came around the corner and began sobbing and calling for her son.

"Austin! Oh, God, is he okay?"

Hank quickly grabbed her arms and kept her from interrupting the men. "He's in good hands. Let my men take care of him."

"I knew this would happen. I told him to finish it, but week after week he found something else to do other than clean up this mess. Please, tell me, is he okay?

Johnny looked down to the now conscious boy as Roy started his IV. "He's awake; you can come over and talk to him."

The woman knelt down beside him and Johnny realized she was wearing scrubs.

"Do you work at the hospital?" He asked.

She shook her head. "Kinda, I work for one of the doctors in their clinic. Jake called me first and thankfully I wasn't far away. Is he going to be okay?"

"He will need some time to let that broken leg heal, but I think he's a very lucky kid."

"Thank you so much."

As the mother and son reunited and comforted each other Roy packed up the boxes as Johnny helped load him onto the stretcher.

"I'll ride in with him," Johnny said with a nod from Roy.

"Meet you there."

* * *

Johnny stood at the nurse's desk as Roy finished up the paperwork as Dr. Mike Morton walked up.

"Fellas," he greeted them.

"What happened to you?" Johnny asked as he saw the arm cast the doctor was now wearing.

Mike shook his head. "Grease and water don't mix well on steps. My neighbor was changing his car oil and I found it."

"Oh man, that's crazy."

Mike waved the bulky arm up. "Crazy seems to be the word of the day."

"Why's that?"

"I did this last night, the nurse in there with her hurt son, Dixie apparently fell in the shower today and is out with a black eye, and this morning we had another employee who came in after being in a car accident."

Johnny was left a bit speechless.

"I'm telling ya, be careful out there today," Morton said as he shook a chart towards them then went into the next patients room.

"Did you hear that?" He asked Roy as he walked up with an armful of supplies.

"How did he break his arm?"

"Fell, but geeze did you hear about how many people were getting hurt today?"

Roy shook his head. "Accidents happen partner. Let's get going."

* * *

"So Dix going to be okay?" Marco asked.

"Sounds like it. Bruised up apparently, but not hurt bad," Johnny answered.

"Well, if it's an accident prone day maybe we should just admit Johnny to Rampart now and skip past all the excitement?" Chet teased.

Johnny wrinkled up his face. "Funny Chet, real funny." He bit into an apple. "Besides, its hospital employees, not firemen."

"That's on Tuesday," Mike said then smiled at the scowl he got back.

"Everyone is a laugh riot, thanks."

Roy snickered just as the tones sounded again.

_SQUAD 51, MAN DOWN, PIGSWICK BOOKSHOP, WESTWOOD BLVD…TIME OUT 1438._

When they entered the store a young lady greeted them just inside the door. "He's upstairs in the used book section."

Johnny and Roy followed her through the store of floor to wall shelves lined with books. The few afternoon customers quickly moved out of the way as they headed up the stairs.

"He's right over here," she continued.

They turned to find a man lying on the ground.

"Sir, can you tell me what happened?" Roy said as he knelt down beside him.

The middle aged man was visibly shaken and upset.

"I got really dizzy and sat down then my head started hurting so bad I couldn't think straight," the man said shakily. He then grabbed Roy's arm. "Son, I think I'm having a stroke. I need you to give me an aspirin while I can still swallow."

Roy shot a look up to Johnny, then back down. "Sir? An aspirin?"

"I'm Dr. Wordly. I work at Loma Linda University and I need that aspirin now."

"I need you to relax and let us get some vital signs on you. When did the symptoms start?"

Johnny opened up the bio phone and began relaying the information to Dr. Early on the other end.

"It started after I got here and progressed quickly. I'm feeling very weak."

"Roy, Early said give him the aspirin," Johnny said with surprise in his voice.

Once the doctor realized his request had been granted he relaxed and closed his eyes as the men did their jobs. Quickly he was assessed and ready for transport.

* * *

"How's he doing doc?" Roy asked Joe Early.

Joe stuck his hands in his lab coat pockets. "They're taking him up for more testing right now, but he's stable and it looks like he knew exactly what was happening."

"Really, so it was a stroke?" Johnny asked.

"Looks like it, but he caught it early so it looks like he will do well."

"Doc, what was with the aspirin request? Is that something new?"

Joe leaned against the desk. "Apparently so. They've been doing some research trials at Loma Linda to see if it improves circulation which could decrease the amount of damage."

"Well, looks like he was paying attention in class then," Roy smiled. "Glad he's going to be okay."

"It's still creepy to me," Johnny mumbled.

Roy let out a soft sigh as Joe looked at them.

"What's that Johnny?" Joe asked.

"Another hospital person doc." Johnny's eyebrows rose like surely he wasn't the only one that noticed it.

Joe looked lost.

Roy pushed against Johnny's shoulder to head him down the hall. "Nothing doc, see ya later."

"Bye fellas."

* * *

Roy watched Johnny fidget in the seat beside him. "You're not going to let this go are you?"

"I know things come in clusters, fires, warehouses, car accidents. But even you have to admit this is a weird coincidence."

"Coincidence being the key word partner. I don't think anyone is out there plotting against hospital workers."

Roy pulled into the small market near the station and passed a paper to Johnny. "Here, Mike gave me a shopping list."

Johnny shrugged and silently followed.

"Go grab a couple of tomatoes and I'll get the chicken," Roy pointed as he headed down one aisle with a wobbly and noisy buggy. "And some garlic."

Roy walked along the fresh meat counter trying to compare prices and packages when he noticed a woman wrapping paper towels around her hand

"Dang it," she muttered to herself.

"Not trying to intrude, but is there anything I can help you with?" Roy said as he approached her.

The young lady, in her late twenties, looked up slightly annoyed until she saw his uniform. "I'm fine. I just managed to somehow cut my hand on the counter here."

She pulled back the towel that was quickly becoming red and revealed the cut.

Roy reached out to her hand. "Mind if I take a look at that?"

She extended her hand to him. "Sure. Sorry, just what you want to do when your grocery shopping huh?"

He smiled. "It's no problem. Happy to help." Closer inspection increased his concern for her. "It looks pretty deep and probably will need some stitches."

Johnny walked up with items in hand and grinned at Roy talking to the lady. Nothing made Roy more nervous around a beautiful woman, than one who was making a pass at him.

"Roy?"

Roy looked up with gratitude and Johnny realized why he had stopped.

"What happened?"

"Well, I seem to be unable to shop without causing a scene so your nice partner here, Roy, came to my rescue."

Johnny smiled at Roy again only getting an annoyed look in return. "Roy's just a nice guy like that. I'm Johnny."

"Hi Johnny, I'm Claire, nice to finally meet you."

Now the medic looked puzzled as Roy seemed to sit back and enjoy the situation now.

"Oh, sorry," she laughed. "I work at Rampart, just started last week in radiology."

"Ah," he relaxed. "Well, welcome to the Rampart family."

Roy watched him being inched out of the conversation as Johnny moved forward. "I'll go grab the box."

Johnny waved behind him and kept on talking. "So, you've heard of us already?"

She laughed. "Oh, there's stories you know."

He wasn't sure whether to be honored or worried as he leaned against the counter. "Only good ones I hope."

Patting his shoulder she smiled. "Lots of good ones don't worry."

He jiggled his head in some semblance of a confirmation then looked to see Roy returning with the trauma box.

"Thanks guys. I can honestly say I never thought making meatloaf would be a dangerous journey." She eyed the gauze wrap as it went around her hand. "Nice job though."

"That's going to need some stitches, okay?" Roy said as he cleaned up the mess around them.

"Yea, I'll go straight from here."

Johnny lingered a moment and Roy chuckled. "I'll check out and meet you at the squad partner."

"Sure Roy, be right there."

* * *

"Get her number?" Roy asked as the smiling Johnny climbed back into the vehicle.

"Roy, I'm shocked. We were doing a rescue and I don't hit on patients." He propped his arm in the open window.

"A unique rescue though. So?"

Johnny grinned and patted his shirt pocket. "Business before pleasure pally."

"Of course."

* * *

"That's just weird," Chet said as Henry moaned a bit and rolled over on the couch beside him.

"Whatever it is I'm glad the day is coming to an end just in case it's contagious," Johnny grumbled.

"Why are you complaining? You got a date out of it," Marco reminded him.

Johnny put his paper down. "I never said I was complaining. I'm just saying that if a group isn't having the best luck of the day then I don't necessarily want to be around them very much until the luck moves on."

"Dinners ready," Mike called out.

"Smells good Mikey, what is it?" Chet asked as he lingered by the stove.

"Just something I haven't cooked in a while and it sounded good today for some reason."

The men pulled up their chairs and savored the wonderful aroma of well-cooked Italian food.

"Smells great Mike," Hank said as he pulled out the first scoop.

Chatter was little around the table as the dish was devoured and container scooped clean leaving little doubt to if the menu was acceptable or not.

Roy helped clean up the table and wash the dishes as the others gathered in front of the TV.

"Something bothering you?" Roy asked his quiet engineer.

Mike shrugged.

"I think this was the best attempt you've made at this, even better than last time."

Mike looked over to him. "Thanks."

Roy remembered the dinner where Mike and Izzy cooked for him and Kanda. Izzy had raved about the dish and proclaimed it her favorite of all his cooking.

"Is it getting easier?" Roy asked quietly.

"Sometimes yea. I mean I put it behind me then something always pulls me back again. For some reason today is just one of those days."

"One day at a time pally."

Mike nodded. It was hard to tell anyone how sometimes those days came where moving forward seemed impossible.

_STATION 51,UNKNOWN RESCUE, PALLO HILLS SUBDIVISION….TIME OUT 2110._

The subdivision was nice with large houses and multicar garages and thankfully well marked. Roy pulled into the driveway of the two story brick home and met Johnny at the side compartment to gather boxes. Being unsure of what awaited them they grabbed all the basics.

"Wonder what department this one works in," Johnny said warily as they made their way up the sidewalk.

Roy was never one to succumb to the fate talk, but today was beginning to push its luck, even with him. "Guess we'll find out."

The engine pulled up behind them, parking on the street, as they rang the doorbell. An older lady, in her late sixties, early seventies, answered and was obviously startled by their presence.

"Hello, we're with the LA County Fire Department, do you have an emergency?" Johnny greeted her.

She glanced back into the house. "I definitely did not call for all this attention. You must be mistaken." She was short and curt with them.

Hank came up beside them. "Is there anyone in the house that is in need of assistance?"

"No there isn't. You can go now," she started to close the door.

Hank backed up and looked at the other two and shrugged. "False alarm?"

Roy never felt comfortable with these kind of calls. "I guess so Cap."

"Wait!"

They turned back to see a young lady dressed in scrubs running towards the door.

"I called you," she said with spent breath.

Roy was on alert now. "What happened?"

"They don't need to be here Mrs. Column," the older woman complained.

"Sorry, Mrs. Baker. I called for help," she looked back up to them as they waiting in the doorway. "Sorry, come in. I don't know if you can help me, but I wasn't sure what else to do. I'm Kat and I work for the Comfort Home Agency."

The men looked deeper into the house from were they stood and visibly there was no disturbance, no flames or signs of urgency.

"Lopez, Stoker, you two wait with the engine until we figure out what's going on," Hank asked.

"Aye Cap," they replied then headed back outside.

Hank was a man of action and needed to figure out what was going on. The entire shift had been nonstop between squad, engine and station calls. If they weren't needed here then he wanted to be back on available as soon as possible for the next emergency.

"Miss, can you tell us what happened?"

She shook her head. "Well, I did call in, but only for a tank of oxygen. I really didn't mean for the whole Calvary to arrive."

"You need a tank of oxygen?" Roy asked.

"Yes, I have a home health patient here and my only tank ran out. I called the number the agency gave me and there was no answer at all, not even a machine so I didn't know what else to do. I'm really sorry I certainly didn't mean to have everyone show up."

"So, there's no emergency?" Johnny asked, his hand held out.

"It's more like urgency instead of an emergency, if that makes any sense. I mean I need the oxygen definitely," she backtracked some.

Roy put the boxes down. "We're happy to help with the oxygen until your tank can get here. Where's your patient?"

"He's in the back bedroom. Can't you just leave it? I mean my client is terminal and extremely private and really there's nothing you can do."

Johnny shivered a bit inside. Terminal patients were not his cup of tea. "Well, we can't really just leave the tank with you without seeing him first."

She huffed with frustration. "Okay, hold on I'll be right back."

In the hallway there was a small table which held a phone. Picking it up, and out of earshot, she made a phone call that was brief before returning.

"We should be fine. I just called the on call number again and reached someone. They are going to bring me a tank in the next few minutes."

"If you're sure," Roy asked, a bit hesitate to leave without even seeing the sick person in question.

Just then a tiny bell rang from down the hall. "Be right back," she said leaving them to stand and wait, again.

"Roy, do you need us?" Hank asked, anxious to be back to available status.

"Doesn't look like it, thanks Cap."

Hank pulled out his HT to make the call when the nurse came back down the hall. "I think I need that tank sooner than later, can you come check?"

The older woman stepped forward and appeared flustered. "Kat, I don't think you should do this."

The nurse spoke kindly to her. "I know it's not what we planned on, but I don't think we have the luxury of time right now."

Johnny and Roy grabbed the boxes and followed her past the now rattled woman. Hank decided to hold off on going available until the medics assessed the situation and gave him the okay. He and Chet stood in the living room quietly while waiting. The unhappy glare from the older woman left them uncomfortable and feeling intrusive and Chet found his feet moving as he tried to find something that would distract himself from her glares.

The room was centered around a large stone fireplace that was impressive, its beautifully carved mantle adorned with many trinkets and pictures. The fireplace itself was quiet since there was no need for a roaring fire at this time of the year so Chet slowly strolled down the large mantle and mindlessly let his eyes graze across the line of family photos. Some were even very old, in black and white, showing children at play in a field with horses in the background. As time progressed in the pictures new families were added and new faces appeared.

He quietly chuckled at the little boy who hung upside down from a giant tree which stood in front of a large old farmhouse. The next picture was a family on the front porch. Everyone was smiling, kids playing on the floor with some type of homemade checker set and older folks sitting in the swing holding glasses of most likely sweet tea. On the front porch an older child sat playing on a guitar. Her red hair shimmering in the sunlight.

Chet froze.

* * *

The lights were down low and the lighting warm and soft as they approached the bedroom. Pieces of lace were draped over the bedside and dresser lamps giving off a gentle halo of images on the ceiling above them. Massive appearing in the room was a wooden four poster bed, laden with quilts that looked handmade and wore years of service in their threads.

The patient seemed buried under the blankets and the first thing Roy noticed was the scented candles and edges of a frilly nightgown that told he was not a he, he was a she. When Roy reached her first his heart nearly stopped beating and his feet froze with Johnny almost running into the back of him.

"Roy?" He snapped out as he gathered his footing. When he looked up to see what had taken his partner off guard he froze too, as he could now see their patient.

"Izzy?"


	35. Chapter 35

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

* * *

CHAPTER 35

PAINFUL PASTS

She was warmly nestled into the down filled bed, propped up with pillows. Red curls splayed from behind her and wide green eyes registered their own shock and surprisingly, fear. Roy tried to rein in his own feelings while quickly assessing the situation that had knocked them over like a bombshell.

Izzy.

She lay back on the pillows with easily recognized shortness of breath. Grimaces on her face reflected pain with every intake of breath and her pale, pasty color easily overtook the hint of pink in her lips. However, her eyes were bright and full of life. Glancing at the nightstand he could see multiple bottles of prescription medications, nearly a dozen and a now empty oxygen tank that sat on Johnny's side of the bed.

The look of panic on her face clearly screamed that they were the last people she ever expected to see again. Hearing the quickened footsteps coming down the hall Roy looked up to see the same faces of disbelief as Hank and Chet popped through the door.

His first glance was to Chet. "Chet, can you get that oxygen for me?"

"Sure. Sure Roy," Chet stammered.

"Chet?" Roy stopped him to get his attention. "Don't say anything yet, okay?"

Chet looked to Hank who nodded in agreement.

"Pulse is 100, blood pressure 90/55, respirations 24." Johnny reported the vital signs as he tried to process his own feelings regarding the turn of events on this call. He had held so much anger towards her for running off to have fun with life. But now? What did all this mean?

"Roy," she said in between shortened breaths.

He leaned in close to her. "We're here Izzy. Is the pain with your breathing?"

She nodded yes.

"She's been needing more oxygen through the day, but this just started," the nurse updated them.

Putting the stethoscope into his ears, Roy listened to her lungs. "Bilateral rales, poor aeration in right lower," he told Johnny.

When he opened up the top couple of buttons of her nightgown, just to listen, he found a scar at her upper chest and raised his eyebrows with question.

"Pace…."

He nodded. "Pacemaker, for the arrhythmias?"

"Yes…..got…..worse."

He was putting the pieces together now and looked to the nurse knowing Izzy didn't have the energy to speak much. "Can you tell me about her recent history?"

Kat briefly glanced to Izzy who nodded it was okay. "She got the pacemaker about a month ago and is on all these different medications to manage her heart failure."

Johnny was opening up the bio phone. "Can't they do a transplant or something?"

Sadness came onto her as she shook her head. "On list….long list."

Both medics knew what that meant. The stack of medicines were what was keeping her going while she waited for something that might never happen.

Her eyes teared up. "Michael here?"

Roy nodded as Johnny called in the report and received orders for how to proceed.

Sadness and a need to explain washed through her. Would they ever forgive her? "I'm sorry just couldn't put him…..through this."

"You knew," Hank said softly.

She looked up to him and nodded. "Yes, I knew." Then back to Roy. "Had to let him go." Tears ran down her cheeks. "I never stopped loving him."

Hank felt his presence before anyone even realized he was there. Mike stepped past his Captain and hesitated at the foot of her bed as she spoke softly to Roy. It was a moment of disbelief, of shock and instant heartbreak. Where Johnny had been angry about her moving on and starting a new life secretly he had prayed that it was happening for her. He would have never wished less for her even when his own anger left him utter lost. Without speaking he moved to Roy's side of the bed and slipped between the busy medic and the headboard, near her head and leaned in close. His elbow creased into the pillow bringing him face to face with her as he studied every feature of her.

"Why Izzy? Why? I would have always been there for you." He stumbled over his words as he battled anger, love, deception, and panic in that single breath.

Her eyes softened and she smiled tenderly at him. "I know. It was the one thing…..I was sure of." She shook her head. "I couldn't be… selfish." She grimaced hard with the pain and shot her eyes back to Roy.

Johnny took advantage of the pause and updated them. "Rampart thinks you may have a fluid collection in your lung. Izzy, Brackett says if we take you to the hospital it won't change anything. It could relieve your pain though."

After all she had been through going back there was really her last desire but she nodded with agreement. With a quick glance to Kat she asked, "Dad?"

"Don't worry Izzy. I'll call him straight away and let him know what's going on."

As they waited for the ambulance Johnny started her IV and fluids while Roy got her positioned for easier breathing. She rested with her eyes closed as the oxygen mask offered relief and ease in her respirations. Mike never left her side and whispered low into her ear gentle words that only she and him could hear. His fingers never left her skin as he comforted her and ultimately himself.

"I never stopped loving you either," he whispered.

* * *

Izzy now rested comfortably in her room following the needle tap to drain some of the fluid that restricted her breathing. Still on oxygen the soft bubbling of the water bottle was the only noise as she slept off the sedation.

Mike found emergency relief at work and now sat beside her bed in plain clothes as he watched her gentle sleep and stillness. The others had left to finish their shift with promises of returning when they could. Little had been said between the friends and co-workers since they were at a loss for understanding and words of comfort at this point. Sleep evaded him as he struggled to remember all of their last conversations, doctor's appointments, and anything that he must have missed before she left.

He loved her; he always had and had never stopped. Not even for a moment. Not through his hurt, anger or questions of how real it had been. It had always remained with him, with every heartbeat. This was his realization now as he watched her. It was like a hole had been left inside that he had trained himself to look past, pretend like it wasn't there and even manage the ability to convince others it was normal. It wasn't until that spot had been filled again, as he saw her lying in the bed, that he realized how much energy it had taken to pretend otherwise.

The click of the door knob brought his attention back from his introspective daze and he saw Dan come into the room and approached him. The father showed no surprise at who was sitting with his daughter. His update on the change in Izzy's condition had included a flustered woman's tale of a house invasion and the return of the son he almost had.

"Michael." His voice was weary seeing the torment in the young man's eyes.

Mike stood up and extended his hand. "Dan, it's good to see you again."

The man's shoulders visibly relaxed, revealing how much stress was released with Mike's kind works. He offered up a small smile and clasped his shoulder. "You too Son, you too."

They sat together as she slept.

Mike ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't understand why she did it. Why did she lie? Why didn't she want me to be there for her?" And the unspoken question of will she want me to leave again?

"I've watched her grow up and struggle with heartbreaking issues like the death of her mom. She's a strong woman Michael, but she feels too much from the people around her. It's why she loved being a nurse so much. Helping patients and families cope and even grieve was something that just came so natural to her. This," he paused. "This is the hardest thing she has ever had to deal with. And it wasn't because of everything she has been through either. She has a hard time dealing with how it affects anyone around her."

"But, I would have helped her. Why would she think anything different?" He stood up and tried to pace though his frustration. "Didn't she believe that I loved her? I mean, did she really think I was just going to abandon her when it got bad?"

Dan leaned back into the chair as he glanced over to see her sleeping peacefully. "No, actually it was the very opposite son. She knew you would never leave unless you were forced to. Don't you see? She did it _out_ of love." He shook his head. "Damn well misguided I assure you and trust me she heard my two cents on the matter more than once. Hell, even Jake tried to talk her out of it. But, for better or worse she made up her mind and had no intensions of changing it."

Yes, Mike thought with a small smile trying to come out. She was definitely stubborn to no end. He turned towards Dan as the torrent of emotions continued to course through him. A flash of anger rose to the surface. "So, instead I was the one that got kicked to the curb with no explanation, no chance to voice my opinion. I just had to walk away and never understand why or how to deal with it?"

Dan frowned a bit even though he understood where the younger man was coming from. "Let's remember that you are a grown man, healthy, strong, and able to move on with your life."

Mike lowered his head already feeling shame for feeling that way. "I didn't mean it that way."

His tone softened. "I know you didn't and you have every right to be mad as hell with how she handled it. It was the worst decision she has ever made and I made that clear to her. But, you have to know that she never started this relationship with you planning for this to happen and in the beginning she was willing to do anything to keep things together for you both, even marrying you. Yea, you were the one beaten down, pushed away, and told you weren't wanted anymore. Trust me, she cried for days when she finally made the decision on what she was going to do. All she ever wanted was for you to get a chance to move on with your life, hard and painful as it might be, you could still have a future with the chance of finding love again. She knew what her future held."

"Those last few doctor's appointment, the ones she wouldn't let me go to."

"Her studies kept getting worse. That one doctor told her that the medications weren't working like he had hoped and he referred her to a specialist at the University Hospital. They said her damage was severe and that there was no combination of medications on the market that could reverse it. Even then she refused to give up. Finally, she qualified for the pacemaker and that gave her some semblance of a normal life, for a while."

"So, she never even left the area?"

"For a while we traveled to some other hospitals to see other heart specialists, but they all gave her the same answers. Even Stanford which is supposedly the top notch place for heart transplants just spouted the same endless statistics. We went to anyone that would listen to her story and possibly offer something new we tried to reach. She demanded every trial study and every new medication on the market. Our last hope was the heart transplant list."

Mike's head popped up. "If she's on the list then there is a chance."

"Son, the odds aren't really with her in finding one in time." The father dropped his head and shook it. "Just too many that need it and not enough doctors willing do it. Izzy understands that." Dan stood up. "Look Son, I'm gonna tell you. She's been through hell and even then she never gave up. She has battled joint pain so bad she couldn't walk, nausea that kept her from eating for days, and bruises all over her body from the slightest bumps. She was re-hospitalized several times for infections because her immune system was trashed by the drugs, she coughing so hard she broke a rib, and confusion that would let her walk right into the middle of a busy road."

He put his hand on Mikes shoulder as the engineer let the tears run down his face. "She never quit and never gave up because of how much she loved you."

Mike could only nod as he looked back to her. There was one thing he knew for sure. If she wasn't giving up then he wasn't either.

"I'm here now baby and this time I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

When he came into the room with coffee in his hand she glanced at him with hesitation. He was beginning to understand why it had happened and had already started struggling with how to keep her from pushing him away again. He was exactly where he wanted and needed to be, but could he convince her of that?

"Morning sunshine," he greeted her with a smile. "Hope you don't mind if I join you for breakfast?"

She quietly shook her head and picked up her fork off the breakfast tray. Hunger really wasn't one of the feelings coursing through her at the moment and she definitely wasn't sure how to process his presence. Was he waiting for the chance to unleash his anger and hatred at her?

"I'm sorry," she whispered without looking at him.

Putting his coffee down on her tray he pushed it to the side and sat down on the edge of her bed beside her. "Your father and I had a long talk yesterday."

She remained quiet.

"I admit the last few weeks haven't been easy for me. Izzy, I just don't understand why you did it. I mean, do you have any idea how _much_ I love you?"

Tears formed in her eyes as she softly nodded.

"I get that you wanted to protect me. But now I'm here and unless you really want me out of your life I have no intention of going anywhere this time."

Faster than he could process the possibility that she might actually reject him again her arms were around his neck as she cried into his shoulder.

"Good, now that's settled we have some things to talk about."

* * *

Kanda made a fresh pot of coffee in the nearby waiting room as Johnny and Roy got off the elevator.

"How's she doing?" Roy asked.

"Much better this morning and already protesting being here."

Johnny sat down in one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs. He had been disquietedly silent since the rescue call and getting off shift. Roy knew Johnny had always been clear on where he stood regarding Izzy's defection.

"I'm gonna say hello, coming?"

Johnny had heard Mike's explanation about all that she had been through and he had to admit that seeing her in such a rocky condition had shaken him. His mind had pictured one thing all this time and reality had snapped back with a fierce back handed assault. But, was he ready to deal with her return face to face yet? Standing up he walked beside Roy and headed to her room.

He was here for only one reason and that was to support Mike. Time would tell for anything else.

She was alone in the room when they came in and held a reserved smile for them both. Roy was gracious and greeted her warmly as Johnny simply nodded at the right times.

"It's good to see you feeling better," Roy told her as he pulled up a chair.

"Thanks Roy." She looked down and wringed her hands together trying to find the right words. "I owe you both a big thank you for helping me yesterday and an even bigger apology. I don't know if I could ever say I'm sorry enough." She looked up to Johnny. "I know Mike is important to you guys and I made some really bad choices through all of this. I can only say that I thought it was the right thing at the time."

Johnny shuffled his feet. "It hurt but we survived."

Izzy understood his pain and regret for her actions overwhelmed her. "I know I hurt everyone and not just Mike. I'm sorry Johnny because you guys were always there for me."

"And here we thought you were out starting a new life without looking back," Johnny said in a tone harsher than he meant to.

Roy stepped forward, but Izzy quickly shook her head at him. She knew it was important for Johnny to say his peace, he deserved at least that.

"Like that wasn't bad enough Izzy? Then here we find out that you weren't happy or even healthy and even worse that you preferred to just go through it all alone. Was alone better than having to have us around? How do you think that made us feel?"

She motioned with her head for him to come closer as tears formed in her eyes. Reaching out she took his hand. "I've made a lot of terrible decisions and mistakes and managed to hurt everyone that cared about me. I'm not perfect and knowing me it won't be the last of my bad calls." She released a deep sigh. "All I can do is ask for you to forgive me."

Tears ran down her cheek. "I didn't even realize what I had so stupidly thrown away until it was gone. I don't want to be alone anymore if someone wants to sit with me through this. If you chose to not stay I understand and you have every right to feel that way. I won't make that choice for anyone anymore."

Johnny looked at the painful weariness that reflected in her eyes and deep down the Izzy that he remembered from before. The irritation was still there, the hurt and the rejection. Thinking about what was best for her and Mike at this point allowed him to put his own feelings to the side and remember why he was there all along, for Mike. To be a good friend.

Everyone had the ability to make mistakes and the right to ask for forgiveness.

"Well, all I can tell ya is," he pulled up a crooked smile. "The next time you're gonna have to kick us out one by one and I'm don't even want to think about what it will take to banish Chet."

A big smile appeared as she dried her eyes. "Please, one scary situation at a time."

* * *

"I want to go home."

Mike bit his tongue seeing clearly that the firecracker Izzy he knew and loved was rearing her determination and stubbornness at full force today.

Maslin stood in her room in the middle of a debate he clearly had no desire to participate in. "Soon Izzy, but we're still adjusting your medications."

She shook her head. "No," she said as if talking to a two year old who had thieved a cookie from the counter. "No more adjustments. I want to be at home with my family and not trapped here."

"Soon," he said with equal admonishment then turned to leave ignoring her continued protests.

"Baby, just do what the doctor says okay?" Mike tried to ease her frustration and his own anxiety about her condition. It may be old hat to her, but he truthfully was mildly panicked about her leaving the hospital.

"I've done what they said for weeks Michael. Don't you understand? Nothing he does, or tweaks, or adjusts will make any difference. You do understand that don't you?"

Mike closed his eyes and slowly released a deep breath. Yes, as his heart felt shattered into a million pieces they had made it clear that the heart she held was exhausted. As her hand closed around his he opened his eyes back up.

"Michael, what's important to me now is being with you and dad and most definitely not being trapped here."

Mike turned to Dan and they silently agreed that she would have what she wanted.

* * *

The long conference table sat in an elegantly decorated room with massive picture windows that looked over the expansive city skyline. Most of the chairs had been filled and the doctor was taken aback by the turn out for this particular patient care meeting.

"This consultation is for those directly involved in the care of Ms. Izzy Newman," he sternly reminded the visitors.

Dixie looked around the room. She sat closest to Maslin. Then it was Kanda, Roy, Mike, Johnny, Mr. Newman, Kelly Brackett and lastly Joe Early. "Everyone is here as advocates for her."

The cardiologist looked offended. "Well, I assure you I am not here to be against her Nurse McCall."

Dixie kept her mouth closed.

He passed out a paper to each of them. "This is my plan of care for Izzy over the next week. You can see the testing is standard and all the medications have been adjusted based on her current status."

Mike didn't even look at it and pushed it back to the center of the table. "She's ready to go home."

"And my goal is to get her there young man."

Kel cleared his throat as he reviewed the list. "Another heart cath, Chris? Do you really think she can handle that night now?" He laid the paper down. "Exactly what will all of this do to change the outcome?"

The senior doctor looked a bit ruffled. "Her condition is critical Kel you know that."

Joe sat up straighter and spoke with his own quiet authority. "No, her condition is terminal."

Mike's stomach twisted.

"Advancements are made in medicine every day Joe. You of all people know that."

Joe's eyes reflected all the sadness of why they were gathered here today. "Yes, but there are no advancements today, nor will there be tomorrow that will change what is going to happen. Sitting around here waiting on a new heart that might never happen is asking a lot of her. I think her request to go home is reasonable."

"And who is going to take care of her?"

"I will," Mike said clearly.

Maslin was mad now. "And what qualifies you to provide medical care?"

"Nothing does, but I won't be alone."

Dan spoke up next. "We've already talked about it. She can't return to my aunt's house. She just can't handle all the stress involved with caring for Izzy. My own house is too far from most everything." He looked over at Johnny and Roy. "So, she's going to stay at Kanda's place as long as she needs too."

Maslin shot a look to her. "You're not a cardiologist."

Kanda almost felt sorry for the man who was so lost in the age of technology that he had forgotten something as simple as human compassion. "It doesn't take a cardiologist to provide comfort and administer medications. She deserves this Chris."

Kel pushed his chair back. "She'll also have the back up of two very skilled and competent paramedics."

"Sounds like everything is all set then," Maslin smirked.

"Pretty much doc," Dan added. "My daughter wants to be home. She's spent too much of her short life in a hospital and I will do everything in my power to make sure she is happy."

His face got cold. "I won't continue to be responsible for her care if she leaves this facility."

Mike almost smiled. "Don't worry you won't have too. We've already put in a request to transfer her care to Dr. Brackett."

"Kel." Marsalis said darkly.

"I'm sorry Chris, but I have to agree with them. There isn't anything we will do different here. She only wants to be comfortable as much as possible. If I could change this outcome I would in an instant. I can't though and this is the hand she is dealt."

He stood up and pushed his chair back. "You're decisions have already been made." He turned to Mike and Dan. "I am sincerely sorry for what she is going through."

Both men simply tipped their heads at him knowing they weren't here to be against the skilled physician. This was about Izzy. Once he was gone from the room the win for their position should have been enough but it was quickly clouded by the fact they had just won the right to take Izzy home where she might possibly die.

* * *

The IV was finally out and they were preparing for getting her home now. He lay in the bed with her, holding her as she slept and feeling each precious breath that she drew in. It was a monumental task they were undertaking and also the most comforting peace he had felt in a very long time. The future was uncertain, but one thing he knew for sure. She was here, finally returned to his arms and nothing was going to keep him away again.

* * *

Mike sat with Izzy in the small bedroom off the hallway. The furnishings were basic, but the homey feel made it the best place she had been in a long time.

"We thought it might be easier for you to avoid any stairs and keep closer to where everyone would be," Roy said.

"It's perfect," she smiled back. "I still can't believe everyone is doing this for me."

Mike smiled and kissed her on the side of her head. "You have a lot of people who love you."

"I see that," she giggled.

"Why don't you lay down for a bit? I know it's been a crazy morning."

He put her feet under the covers and pulled them up as she lay down. With another kiss her exhaustion took hold and she closed her eyes.

Down the hall the others sat around the kitchen table. Kanda had some things she needed them all to understand.

"Kel has taken her off the majority of medications that had the most serious side effects and added a couple to help her rest if needed. She's going to be exhausted all the time still there's no reason for her to stay in bed unless she doesn't want to get up. Fresh air, sunshine, visitors are all based on how she feels and what she wants."

Mike agreed. "She told me she didn't want to hide out and she especially doesn't want us all locked up in the house with her. She actually said she looked forward to exploring around the farm a bit."

"And she can. She'll know when it's too much and she has to stop. Don't push food on her; allow her to eat when she thinks she can handle it. Even if it's two am. This isn't about us controlling her."

The others nodded.

Johnny held one of the most solemn faces sitting there. "Do we know….umm," Johnny started, but found it hard to get the words out.

Mike was the one that answered and let out a cleansing breath before starting. "Dr. Brackett said she would have good days and not so good of days. As long as she meets the criteria she will stay on the transplant list, but," he paused.

"Mike?" Roy asked with hesitation.

"He gives her less than a month on the list before she no longer qualifies. Then two to three weeks after that. Give or take a week."

Roy leaned back in his chair. "A month?"

Mike nodded.

Kanda released a breath. "Get it out now, the sadness, the grief, and all that anger. Whatever you're harboring get it out somewhere except around her. She's already going to be worried about being a burden and dragging us down with her." Then her voice softened. "This is our time with her and hers with us so let's make it all good."

* * *

"Since when did you learn to play guitar?" Johnny asked with surprise.

Mike sat in the swing strumming a little tune as Izzy leaned against him, her eyes closed as she savored the warm afternoon sun on her face.

"Izzy's had been trying to teach me for months, but I think it's hopeless."

She scoffed. "You're pessimism is hopeless."

Johnny saw her smile and found himself doing the same thing.

"I told him he has to play so I can hear music."

"Well now," Johnny started. "This is something I can contribute too." He stepped inside the house and shortly returned with his own guitar.

"That's right, Johnny finally found a home for his musical talent," Mike kidded him.

Johnny started playing in mimic to what Mike was strumming. "What is that?"

"Something Izzy taught me," Mike said.

As the swing moved gently she savored the music they played for her. Words danced on the edge of her mind and now that she was finally becoming free of all the horrible drugs she could hear the music in her head again. _Dream a little dream of me _had always been one of her favorite Mamma Cass songs and she could envision the words that now filled her senses.

It was literally more than music to Mike's ears to hear her sing again. She was very soft and a little more breathy than before and he didn't care in the least. Her voice was food for his soul and he never wanted it to stop. They played and for her time stood still for just those few precious moments. When the song was done a big smile came on her face as Mike rested the guitar on the ground and she slid down so her head rested on his lap.

"Thank you sunshine," he whispered to her.

"That felt really nice."

"And I missed it," Kanda said as she came on the porch with tea and snacks.

Izzy looked up to Mike. "I don't want music to ever go away again. It's too important to me."

Mike's face radiated love as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I promise you'll hear it everyday."

For right now there was peace in their world and that was the best any of them could hope for.


	36. Chapter 36

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

How did it get so late so soon?  
It's night before its afternoon.  
December is here before its June.  
My goodness how the time has flewn.  
How did it get so late so soon?  
~Dr. Seuss

A/N: A long chapter for you. I thought it might be nice to see things through Mike's eyes at this point. Thank you for all your support and encouragement.

CHAPTER 36

MIKE's SONG

* * *

I'm not sure what's worse, the love, the breakup or getting it all back just to have it ripped away again. It's like an enormous slash across the heart that as soon as it scabs over someone walks by, smiles politely, then rips it raw again. I mean, this was what I wanted right? I wanted her back; I wanted the past erased like a bad memory and the fairy tale ending.

Fate sucks. After months of my own personal living hell I get back to this point just to hear that _oh sorry dude, not for you, not today….move along now._

Everything's in turmoil around me now and no matter how hard I search for answers my head keeps spinning like that teacup ride at Disney. You know the one that you think is a little kid's ride until you are puking your guts out at the end because some insane curly headed mustache psycho fireman wants to displace your head from your shoulders? Damn Chet and damn fate. Just damn them all at this point.

I knew that coming home; well this home away from home, would be a missed blessing from the start. I actually cringed a little bit inside knowing this is where we would wind up. Don't get me wrong. Johnny, Roy, Kanda, they are all great people, indispensable actually at a time like this. I don't know, maybe that's why I'm not exactly thrilled about me here to be monitored and followed around as everyone hovers over every symptom she has.

It's not like this is the first time I've been through this with her and I'm certainly not an idiot. I knew about keeping up with her meds, watching for worsening symptoms, and hell even holding her head as she throws up. Well, now damn me. Why am I trying to romance memories that broke me every single day? They are here to help and if I take a minute to be honest about all this I really need all the help I can get, emotionally and physically. I guess I just feel selfish about my time with her right now, every single moment.

"What do you two have planned for today?"

We both turned around to see Johnny behind us. I know Roy can see it if I can. The pain he is holding in his eyes is worrisome. I never blamed him for his anger towards her. It was just a reflection of our friendship and brotherhood and who could beat a man down for feeling protective over you? We all reacted in our own way so it's not like I could put any blame on him through it all. We are what we are and we feel what we feel and move on with life somehow. I do know that something changed in the hospital between him and her_. _I'm not exactly sure when or what because it's not like she shares those random conversations with me during the day. I just left it alone. You know between them. It's just more clear now, that peace between them.

"Not sure yet, just getting going today." I feel her squeeze my hand. Is it silly that my skin still tingles when she touches me?

"Well, okay. I'm heading out to work on the back line. You know how to reach me if you need me."

"Thanks Johnny," she said sweetly as he headed down the hallway.

The whole week had been that way really so it was crazy for me to complain. They checked in then moved out of our way. I saw it for what it was a subtle effort to give the days to me and her as much as possible. Even if we don't openly talk about it does mean a lot to us both. I guess that expressing our gratitude for the time together comes way to damn close to saying out loud why the time means so much.

Okay, enough. It's time to move forward into another day. As Roy said, one day at a time.

Like every other day when I wake up I shake the sadness from my head and greet her with all the love I can. Coffee is usually made courtesy of Kanda before she leaves for work and we enjoy cooking breakfast together. This first week has been pretty smooth and following Kanda's advice I simply follow her lead in all things through the day.

Once Johnny left I realized there were already some dirty dishes in front of her.

"You already eaten?"

She nodded. "I woke up early this morning and had some cereal with Kanda before she left for work."

A tiny thankful went out that she got a meal in at least. Her interest in eating has been a never ending challenge to even my own meager cooking skills. Reaching into the cabinet I grabbed a coffee mug.

"So what's on the agenda today?"

She pulled her fuzzy robe closer and shrugged with a small smile. "Your pick today, remember?"

I was actually ready. This was a return to our earlier days of dating and taking turns at picking the activity. A smile escaped my lips as I realized that it was something she hadn't forgotten about. "I was thinking a picnic by the creek today. It's supposed to be beautiful out."

Her face lit up. "Sounds great. I'll go get ready while you finish up. Don't forget Hank is coming by this morning."

I had to work for this smile. "I know. He should be here soon. Take your time we have all day."

Watching her move so slow and carefully makes me want to reach out and help her. I know she's only trying to conserve the diminishing energy that is slowly withering away each day. I also know she wouldn't hesitate to smack me for doing it. Fierce independence had not waned in the least in her and trust me I know when to steer clear. Besides, I am mildly rattled about Hank coming.

Coffee in hand and pacing the front porch like a trapped animal I look up when the truck wheels begin to work their way down the gravel drive. It still amazes me that old rusted out truck is still Hanks favorite day off drive.

"Hank," I greeted him with a smile even though I was clearly nervous. "Thanks for coming out."

His handshake was strong and I could quickly read the care and concern in his eyes. "Anytime Pally. How's she doing?"

I nodded and tried to figure out how to avoid details. "Today is a good day."

I was grateful that Hank took the simple but profound statement and left it at that. After all these years he could read me like a book and going into details was very much beyond me at this point. Pulling out a stack of papers he laid them on the colorful wooden front porch table as we sat down opposite of each other. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and swallowed hard. This was important and he knew it too.

"I had to pull a few strings, but this gives you your two week vacation time early. Here," he pointed to the second paper, "this is where it will apply to the time you've already missed." He leaned back in the chair and seemed to try and figure out why my reaction was mute. "I know it's not much Michael. After this it's like I said before we'll have to go back to the Chief to see what your options are."

Really, it was more than I expected and I think I was just in a state of shock with my mind reeling about how good and bad this was at the same time. "Thanks Cap." I could only imagine the chaos I had left behind when we found Iz that day seeing how I'd never returned to work after that. Not only had Hank gotten all my shifts covered he started the leave paperwork without even being asked. He knew where my heart was in this. I'm just thankful that the department hadn't out right fired me for refusing to come back. Anything beyond that was a gift really.

"I just need you to sign here," Hank pushed the paper towards me. "This will make it all official. I'm sorry that it doesn't give you a lot of time."

I heard the sigh escape me before even realizing it. It wasn't nearly enough time and we both knew it. "It's a start." The problem is that I already know what the options are and so does my old friend, including the consequences. "Thanks again for everything you've done for me and Iz. I really don't know what would have happened without everyone being there for us through all this."

Hank's smile held grief and for a moment mine matched his. "I wish we could do more Mike. You know where we are for anything you need." He stood up and gathered the papers up. "I'll get these turned in tomorrow. Just keep us posted okay and when this ends we will do whatever we need to."

I know Hank will go the extra mile and beyond for me over this. There is no question in that matter. The heartbreaking part is that I know what it will come too before it's over and for now I can't worry about it. It just comes down to departmental policy and I know that since Izzy and I aren't married I can't just take a prolonged leave of absence. As Hank's truck disappears down the drive I know deep down that it won't matter what the department says in the end. I'm where I need to be so for now I won't worry about crossing that bridge just yet.

Right now I have a picnic to plan.

* * *

"Bunny."

I shook my head and laughed at her. "No way, it's an elephant with a turtle on his back."

We lay all stretched out on an oversized quilt in a field of wildflowers with her head resting on my stomach making it shake with her every laugh. The sun is warm and the sky politely full of white downy clouds to keep us entertained.

She laughed then coughed a bit and even though inside I froze and waited for her to settle she seemed nonplussed by it. My fiery love had made it very clear from the beginning that she didn't want to be fretted over so I simply waited.

"Well now it's a five legged bunny with a camel hump and furry long tail," she giggled.

It was a good thing she couldn't see my smirk. "I think Kanda needs to adjust your medication again."

Another laugh and this time she did smack my leg. "Never mess with a drugged woman you will always lose."

"I believe that one!" And I did even though I knew only a part of what she had endured over the last few months. Maybe someday they can figure out how to make medications that save your life and don't make you miserable along the way.

Feeling her sit up I could tell she wanted to reposition so I moved us so that we were able to lie down face to face. As I watch her face I realize I have seen more of the Izzy I fell in love with so long ago here in the last few days than I ever did after she got sick. It was all there in her eyes, the fire, determination and passion that made her seem so vibrant and alive to me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

It was something I could never resist, to tuck a curl behind her ear. "For what my love?"

"Forgiving me and taking me back," she replied, her eyes teary.

I couldn't help it but I let out a chuckle which seemed to surprise her. "You make it sound like it was an option. For me it just set things right again. Trying to separate us was going against the forces of nature you know."

Her eyes sparkled. "Silly me."

My finger savored the softness of her cheek. "Yes, silly you."

"I just worry that I'm asking too much from you, from everyone."

Inching closer to her I found myself yearning to feel her sweet breath on my face. "I love you and there's never too much you could ask. If you need it then it's important to me. Don't ever doubt that okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

"This is where I'm supposed to be for however long you need me." Pulling her into my arms I tried to hide the rawness of my heart and held her under the warm California sun.

* * *

Pushing the broom around was mindless work and I am never one to complain about doing my part around the house. The issue is being idle for too long because it lets my brain think too much and as the days pass that is never a good thing. So like being at work I stay busy when Iz is taking a nap and do chores when I can't sleep at night.

"Where is she?" Roy was heading down the hall towards me.

Picking up the dustpan I dumped the kitchen crumbs into the trash. "Upstairs with Kanda."

"How's she feeling today?"

"She's getting a nap in. Sometimes I'm not sure who gets crankier without their nap, her or me."

"Another rough night?"

Leaning wearily against the counter it was getting harder to shield my own pain from those around me. "Yea." I looked at my friend and tried to read the concern in his eyes. "She's getting worse isn't she?"

I really try to not ask the same questions every day and of all people Roy knows that I understand the course of her disease. Going into explanations now was a moot point.

"Remember," Roy said. "One day at a time."

I wouldn't give up any moment with her of that I had no doubts. My exhaustion came from the weight of the days and lack of adequate rest. Even though her sleeping had increased mine had diminished as I worried about what seems to be everything at this point.

"The days are just getting too short Roy. Is that beeper ever going to go off for her? Is that asking too much?" My frustration didn't seem to surprise him. "I'm beginning to think that she doesn't even want that call to come anymore."

He crossed his arms and I could see that look of patience that he was so skilled at. "She's been sick for a long time Mike."

"She won't even talk about the possibility anymore." It rose up quicker in me than I thought possible. "She can't stop fighting. I won't let her."

Storming out of the room didn't leave any of the rising panic behind me so I headed right out the front door and down the driveway to find something to hit. I knew it was something that I had been avoiding in my talks with her because I didn't want to hear her say it. Honestly, I don't want to know and won't accept anything but to keep waiting and hoping.

* * *

I could hear Roy and Kanda working on dinner in the kitchen and the smell wafting out the open window was carried by the soft breeze letting me know it would be ready soon. Right now we are resting in an outdoor lounge chair with her lying back against my chest. This is one of my favorite parts of the day with her. Every evening we watch the sun set and pretend that the healing oranges, red, and deep yellows pierce us deep and bind up our wounds.

"Reminds me of our camping trip," she said.

The memories flooded me as I remembered the mountains and even the ants. "Our first trip away together."

"And the best night of my life." She squeezed my hand and seemed to reach my very soul. "I said yes because there is no one I could ever love more."

The clinking of the engagement ring against the dinner plate was a memory that had haunted my dreams more than once. It was the night all my hopes and dreams for the future with her vanished in the blink of an eye. And now? Now they were further away than imaginable.

I pulled up my best smile for her. "Best camping trip ever." Leaning sideways I snuck a kiss in. "Now, I have something to give you before we get called in for dinner."

Her eyebrows rose as I wiggled my way out from under her and stood beside her. She studied my face for a hint. "Okay."

With a quick glance towards the kitchen window I could see the two shadows moving around still and this would only take a few minutes. I grabbed my guitar from near the door and straddled the recliner again. With a deep breath I plunged forward.

Every day I had tried to make sure she had music in her life. I understood how it touched her soul and brought peace there. Sometimes I would take her hand and gently dance on the front porch to the radio or hum to her at night as she fell asleep in my arms. And more recently I had been playing the guitar more for her. I'm not delusional and never claim to be the next Jimmy Page but its good enough to make her smile and that's all that matters in the end.

My fingers were still a bit clumsy but I had worked hard for this one. Singing has never been a comfort zone with me at all, especially after the quartet fiasco which still makes me cringe to this day. With dug up bravery I started singing something I had penciled down just for her.

_There's nothing in this world that could take your place  
sleeping beside me your sweet breath fills my soul.  
Time is our enemy but love is our saving grace  
and with every breath my heart beats for you, my heart beats for you._

_Yes, my heart beats for you it knows no other way  
it stopped when you were gone, lost and aching in pain  
Everything that I am is now only for you, there is nothing left to say  
Because with every breath my heart beats for you, my heart beats for you._

I watched the tears fill her eyes and as we snuggled down in the blanket in the warm night air there was nothing but the two of us in the universe.

* * *

This morning I seem to be moving slower even though my night was filled with dreams that seemed to hover on that edge of eluding me. So I'm assuming I managed to get at least a few hours of shut eye. I can't even remember who is coming or going anymore since the days just seem to blend together at this point. The mirror isn't my friend either as it arrogantly points out my five o'clock shadow and bloodshot eyes only missing the childish tongue sticking out to mock me.

My ritual was simple. Dress myself in something clean, shave, eye drops to get the red out, brush my teeth and push the weight off my shoulders to face another day with a smile on my face. With a deep cleansing breath I remind myself why I am doing this, why it's so important. My body may be tired and my heart hurts but still I wouldn't change a thing at this point. Being here is the only choice.

Today another unavoidable decision would be made. It was only between me and him at this point and I would make sure that Iz never found out. This was a burden I would never ask her to carry because I know she would be furious with me and eventually with herself. I wasn't going to let that happen. Hearing the front door being opened by Kanda I headed down the stairs to see Hank standing there. His face was so transparent that for a moment I wasn't sure who was hurting more over this, me or him.

Sitting at the kitchen table with an as sundry of papers in front of me the silence was deafening.

"My hands are tied Michael. I just don't know what else to do," he said with a mix of frustration and sadness.

I had to reassure him no matter how I felt. He had gone the extra hundred miles over the last month and called in more favors that I'm sure I even know about. He had done all he could.

"It's okay Hank. There's no way I could ever repay you for all that you did." I leaned back in the chair and shrugged. "Sometimes life just pulls us in a different direction and I've accepted that."

He leaned forward on the table with desperation in his eyes. "Michael, don't give up all that you've worked for."

I actually smiled. He understood part of what was going on and I knew it was an important part. It wasn't the department's fault and I no longer blamed them. With vacation used up I was out of options so the paper in front of me was my official resignation. One time in the past I had been asked me if someone risked their life to save me how far would I go to save them? This was how far.

Even as I let the smile escape it all became very clear to me on why I was here. This was more than being a nurse maid, a companion, or even a fireman. This was about my final gift to the person I had given my heart too. As I picked up the pen all the weight I had been carrying washed away and for the first time I feel nothing but peace.

* * *

"She still sleeping?"

I could hear the concern in Kanda's voice as I passed Izzy's door and headed to the kitchen. "Yea, I think she coughed until four this morning. She's just exhausted."

"Okay. Why don't you lie down on the couch and I'll keep an ear out for her."

This was one of those times I didn't argue the offer. I'm not hungry yet and I feel like a walking zombie this morning. My best bet was to nap when she did. Knowing that someone is keeping an ear out for her lets me turn my brain off for a while. Not really wanting to go back upstairs I eyed the dwarf couch in the living room and decided that it didn't matter at this point. With a pillow behind my head and legs hanging off the end like a Sasquatch taking up roost I closed my eyes and drifted off.

Laughing.

The noise brought me out of what seemed like a drug induced coma. Looking around the living room was still empty but the front windows were open and a breeze billowed the curtains. Knowing my back needed an extreme stretch to wake up I stiffly stood up and gave it what it wanted hearing a few cracks along the way. Then I heard the laughing again and now recognized it as Jenny. Walking out onto the front porch Kanda and Jenny in the swing and Izzy was resting back in a chair on the other side.

"Good afternoon sleep head," Izzy teased me and she was curled up like a kitten.

"What time is it?"

"Almost four. We were trying to let you get caught up on some much needed sleep," Kanda replied as Jenny jumped down from the swing.

"Guess what Mr. Mike?"

I couldn't help but smile at the blonde headed bottle of exuberance. "What Miss Jenny?"

"Me and Izzy sang a song together!"

A quick glance caught Izzy beaming. "Well, I'm sorry I slept through that. Maybe, you can sing it again for me soon."

Jenny skipped over to sit down beside Izzy. "Let's sing it for him now."

By now I could read her like a book and her eyes expressed exhaustion even if she wasn't going to tell the bubbling girl. "I think she's tired now, but maybe tonight."

Jenny was fine with that. "Okay." Hopping back down she ran down the stairs and out to the tree swing to entertain herself.

Kanda kept reading her magazine as I pulled up a chair and sat down next to Iz. "That was nice of you to sing with her."

"It was a little song. She said she wanted to make a memory with me."

Before I even realized it my jaw had tightened and I saw the happiness in her eyes disappear. I tried to quickly correct my reaction but she was already mounting up her own argument.

"Michael don't do that," she chastised me with words and an efficient scowl.

Even with that face I had to hold back my smile. "Sorry."

She glanced over to Kanda who had somewhere along the line excused herself leaving us alone on the porch. "I can read you pretty well by now you know." I watched her features soften as she put her hand tenderly into mine. "I know you're having a really hard time with this. I mean we're all doing our best to handle what's happening but I feel like you are having the hardest time of all." Her voice softened. "I don't know what will happen in the next couple of weeks." The smile faded from her face. "I'm getting weaker and just know I need you to be strong for me."

My throat was getting thicker and even swallowing seemed difficult. "I am being strong I just don't want ….." I couldn't even finish.

Keeping my eyes dry was getting harder as she put she put her palm to my face and I could feel my stubble scratch against her softness. "I know you don't want to talk about what might happen. We still have to be honest here Michael. I'm at peace with either path now. If I don't get a heart soon it will be okay."

A different emotion shot up. "How? How can you be okay with that?

"It's not in our hands anymore and I don't want our time to be cluttered with worry and doubt, stress or lost dreams. We need to focus on us right now and right here and nothing else. Can you do that for me?"

How could I argue with that face? How could I do anything that would take away that smile?

The evening had been really nice. The fella's came out to have dinner and play some cards. I also have no trouble admitting that I've missed the crazy bunch.

"So Chet, you still dating Kharis?" I asked him with a chuckle.

He looked annoyed. "Yes, I'm still dating her. It's actually been a month now and things are going pretty good if I do say so myself."

"A match made in heaven," Marco laughed from behind us as he pulled out some cold beers.

"A match made somewhere," I added as we wandered into the living room to find Roy, Johnny and Hank.

Johnny slapped Chet on the shoulder. "Hey man, anymore phone calls from her dad?"

Now I knew about them dating for a while but had never even met her father. "Her dad?"

Chet's eyes got big and slightly glassy eyed. "Good thing you never met him Mike. The man is crazy. I mean he has threatened to cut off body parts. Important body parts!"

The others started laughing at him.

"I thought her father had died a few years ago."

Chet sat forward in his chair. "Well, you thought wrong pally. Somehow he's got my number and keeps calling me making sure I'm treating his baby right."

Hank pulled the toothpick out of his mouth. "Oh, he's got your number alright pally."

"Coffee's on the front porch fella's," Kanda called out.

Outside I sat down next to Izzy who was warmly wrapped up in a quilt with her feet propped up as she chatted with Kanda. Even though today had not been a good day for her she had insisted on keeping the dinner plans and I know she was doing it for me. I tried to keep everything simple so she would be relaxed and feel a little bit better. The medications still play havoc with her system and today was one of those days. But watching her talk with everyone I was struck with how much silent strength she truly had.

Marco stepped forward as the rest of the guys gathered on the front steps in front of her. "Mike here has told us one thing that can always make you smile."

Her eyes shot to me with rising curiosity as I stood up and joined the others on the porch. I couldn't help the smile that escaped at that point.

Hank spoke up next. "We never claim to be good at this so no laughing is allowed young lady."

Clearly she was puzzled but she took her pinched fingers together and silently zipped her smiling lips. Johnny pulled out his guitar and I reached into my pocket and pulled out 2 spoons. As Johnny began plucking the very basic tune she instantly knew it and broke out into a huge smile. Marco started with a _do do do_ harmony as Hank and Roy started humming to the beat and Johnny plucked strings but the music was formed by them all. Everyone could see that the biggest surprise was when I started singing one of her favorite harmonys, _Blackbird _by the Beatles.

Johnny whistled a repeat of the last line as Chet kept up with the ding ding a ding ding. Izzy couldn't help but giggle at the wonderful chorus they were making. As they hummed, whistled, and sang she closed her eyes so her ears could absorb every part of what we sang. She didn't want to miss a do, hum, or ding a ling.

When we finished she opened her eyes again to show the tears that she couldn't hold back. I could read it on her, how much she loved the music and how much she loved me. Her whispered thank you spoke volumes to the friends that had come to share an evening with her and I wondered if I could ever tell them how much I appreciated all they had done for us.

* * *

Izzy sat in the bathroom chair as Kanda helped her dress. She had awoken with a burst of energy and was excited that my parents were coming in for the day. I quietly watched them and occasionally annoyed them with peeking in to see how she was doing. Luckily Izzy found it funny even though Kanda promptly shooed me away each time.

This week had become very hard. She is now too weak to walk more than a few steps and is using oxygen for a good portion of the day. She hasn't been eating much anymore and she is sleeping a lot of the day. I've not been able to take her outside any further than the porch and this morning to see her looking better than the last few days brings some relief to my heart. Tonight is a surprise for her, my gift to show her how much I love her.

For now I wait outside in the hall, even if a bit impatiently.

"Oh, don't blame him too much," Kanda kidded her.

"I need to know he'll be okay," Izzy said quietly and I felt my stomach knot up as I leaned against the wall.

"He's surrounded by family and friends. No matter what happens he won't be alone through this I promise."

My heart ached as I heard the sadness in her voice. "We've talked about it a lot but I don't think he's ready."

Kanda was quiet for a moment. "Even though it's not easy to talk about, it's still easier than facing it. I think he's as prepared as he can emotionally handle right now. Deep down he knows and he understands honey. It's normal for him to choose to not face it until it's truly time."

Izzy's voice was quiet and I could barely hear her but I did hear one thing. "Time is running out."

Reaching up to dry my face I quickly stood up straight as I heard them moving out of the room and towards me. She took my breath away. A bit more frail looking; however, no one would believe how sick she truly was. A touch of makeup brought color to her cheeks again and her softly braided hair looked shiny and vibrant.

"You look perfect," I said with a smile.

"Kanda works miracles," she giggled.

I winked at her as I swooped her up into my arms. "I know better than that. Ready?"

She nodded with excitement as we headed down the stairs and towards the back door.

"Izzy! You look great!" Johnny said with a bursting smile.

"Thank you kind sir," she laughed.

She was so light in my arms and even though she didn't know about the surprise waiting I felt this evening was great chance to see some long lost friends. I silently choked down the thought that it might be the last time she would see some of them.

"Mike?" She reached up and wiped a tear away. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and smiled to her. "Nothing baby. I just love you so much."

"I love you too silly. Now, let's go see your folks."

Stepping outside she gasped at the decorations that adorned the backyard. Similar to their engagement party the trees were all lit up only this was a more intimate affair. She expected a cookout with my parents and instead was greeted by a table of food, familiar faces and three members from the Blue River Band, a guitar, keyboard, and violin player ready to provide the music.

She just beamed as I put her in the lounge chair and covered up her legs with a toasty warm quilt. Her dad was first to arrive and sat down beside her while complementing her on how fancy she was dolled up. His visits to the ranch had been regular though I think his distractions at the saloon had been his way of coping with all that was happening. They had enjoyed going through family albums and to her insistence the organization of all the business bills. I knew what she was doing and was pretty sure he did also.

Next to come over were Dixie and Kel. Both leaned in and gave her a hug and the glance towards me was a little rattling as it reflected how much she had changed since leaving the hospital.

"Joe's coming too. He just had to stay late to end the shift," Dixie said.

"It's really good to see you, especially out of the hospital," she giggled. "How's life in the ER going these days?"

Dixie took her hand and laughed. "You know how it is, a full time job to keep certain doctors in line."

"I resent that," Kel spoke up. "I think."

Izzy and Dixie laughed together.

"Thanks so much for coming Dixie. I've not done very good at keeping up with what's going on outside in the real world."

Dixie shot a look over to me. "You're doing exactly what you're supposed to do, taking care of you and him."

The music started playing and I watched her light up at the compilation of music that was her favorite songs. My parents came over next to see her and for some reason this part is really hard on me. I know how much my mom loves her. Even my dad was visibly upset when I had to tell them about the breakup and even worse the reunion. I love my mom to death but she is a crier and I know the tears will come and it's hard to see how hard this is on her.

"Oh Izzy we love you so much," mom said as she hugged her.

Her arms closed up the lingering hug as they both seemed to know what it really meant. "I love you too. I'm so glad you're here."

"Mike here been taking good care of you?" my dad probed.

"For the most part," Izzy said straight faced and with a little shoulder shrug.

I shot her an exaggerated look of shock. "Are you _trying_ to get me in trouble here?"

She giggled, a sound that melts my heart. "He's the best," she said softly to my dad.

The little spoken, tall standing figure had been the best father anyone could of hope to have had. I knew what this was doing to him. He had fallen for Izzy before I even knew her when she took care of me in the hospital. There he had seen the best she could be. When she got sick he had gotten quiet and I knew him well enough to understand that he was devastated. Even I had been surprised at the compassionate reaction he had at our breakup. Looking back I realize that my desire for him to stand up for my pain really meant he was feeling her pain too somehow.

"Good, good. That's exactly how it should be. You just give me a call anytime dear to let me know otherwise okay?" Mr. Stoker said.

"Deal," she smiled back at him despite my eye rolling.

Marco and Chet came around the corner in the middle of a deep discussion and I discreetly cleared my throat to get their attention.

Marco took her hand and kissed it. "Beautiful as always, Izzy."

"Thank you for coming Marco. How is your momma?"

He returned her thoughtfulness with a big smile. "Good. She gave me explicit instructions to make sure you were eating."

Izzy grinned back. "Tell her Mike, the family chef, is taking good care of that."

Marco nodded.

"Chet, what's wrong?" She asked him.

He stood there with his hands in his pants pockets shifting from foot to foot. "Oh nothing," he said then reached down to give her a hug. "Might need some girl advice later tonight," he whispered to her.

She looked seriously at him and nodded. "Of course."

I wrinkled my brow. "What was that about?"

"Oh, you know, just fireman talk."

Kanda laughed at her ability to play between the guys. Her eye was keen and I knew she watched me, watching her. She had told me one day that we were so perfectly synched we didn't even realize how much we shadowed each other.

As the music played couples danced and I stayed sitting beside her holding her hand. Friends and family took turns coming by, chatting, sharing stories, making her laugh and letting her know how much she was loved. It was everything I wanted for her.

When the chair beside her became empty Johnny came up and plopped into it laughing. Izzy looked to me with raised eyebrows and curious eyes.

"I'm afraid to even ask," I said with a deadpan tone.

Johnny leaned onto his knees and closer to us. "Okay, so you know Chet is still with Kharis right?"

We all nodded. Yes, on the same page so far.

"Well, apparently her father is about ready to kill Chet for deflowering his precious daughter. Chet's so upset he's about to have an anxiety attack."

Dixie stood behind us and looked surprised. "John Gage, that's not funny! The man could be dangerous."

"Maybe," Johnny tilted his head thinking. "No, probably not." He looked back to me. "No, don't think so," then he jumped up. "Be right back."

Izzy leaned closer to me and as the small crowd mingled and visited. I could easily see that unless someone was talking to her she remained quiet, conserving her energy. Her eyes reflected a melancholy happiness that made my own heart ache.

Dixie wandered back over and handed me a cup of coffee. "Joe said that Maslin has stepped down from Chief of Cardiology. Apparently, he got a large grant in research this month."

Izzy nodded. "I can picture him being very devoted to that. I really hope he becomes cutting edge in the field."

"Me too," Dixie answered then glanced to me. It was a silent wish that instant knowledge and miracles could happen right now.

Roy and Hank sat in chairs across from ours discussing a fishing trip they were planning for next month. They had already told me about it and I know that in another month I might have all the free time in the world. But for right now I can't make any plans beyond getting through the party. The one thing my friends had spared me was any protracted discussion about my leaving the department. It had been a silent agreement to disagree even though I knew keep down they understood.

Marco came walking up to the group and waved to Roy. "Roy, I think you need to talk to Chet. He's about to have a nervous breakdown."

Roy stood up and shook his head. "Where is he?"

Marco pointed towards the band and Roy ventured off to find the mildly psychotic lineman.

"What was all that about?" Kel asked as he walked up to us.

Dixie laughed. "I'm not exactly sure but I have a feeling that Chet is getting the run around."

Izzy smiled. "I think girls are very complicated to Chet in the first place."

"You got that right. It's a standing competition between Johnny and Chet." I explained. "A few months ago Chet rode Johnny like crazy over a girl that dumped him. I think that's why he's enjoying it so much."

Izzy just smiled.

"What do you know young lady?" Dixie said.

"Little ole me? Not a thing."

"Uh huh," the wise and experienced nurse was not so easily convinced.

The music changed to a slow soft beat with the violin serenading them under the full moon. Kanda and Roy moved to the dance floor along with Hank and Emily and the Stokers. Izzy turned and whispered to me and we both smiled. Standing up I slid my arms under her, blanket and all, to picked her up. Her arms went around my neck and her head rested on my chest.

Moving out to the grassy dance floor I memorized her face, one more time, as we moved to the music. When the words started I softly sang along to her.

_Oh my love for the first time in my life  
My eyes are wide open_

We tuned out the world around us and simply looked into each other's eyes. This had been our spot those many months ago where we danced together to celebrate a coming wedding. Now I held her to celebrate every moment I could under the stars.

_I feel the sorrow  
Oh, I feel the dreams  
Everything is clear in my heart  
_

Her lips were warm and softer than I had remembered from the last kiss. As the song ended I returned her to her chair and gently wiped the tears from her eyes. Only then did we realize again that we were not alone. The next song was upbeat and the atmosphere changed to one of celebration again as I watched Izzy capture Johnny's eye and wave him over.

"Hey Izzy, you need me?"

"Don't you think you've tortured Chet enough?" She asked like a school teacher correcting a student.

Johnny looked deflated and confounded. "How did you know?"

She tapped the side of her head. "Woman's intuition."

He laughed as those who had gathered wanted to know the scoop now. "Fine, if you say so."

"Okay, now I have to know," Joe asked dryly.

Again Johnny laughed. "Serves him right after the harassment he gave me. He's been getting threatening phone calls from Kharis's father right?"

Everyone nodded.

"So, he's all super sweet to her afraid of daddy's wraith."

"Johnny," Izzy said sternly.

"Okay, okay. We'll it's me."

They looked lost.

"I'm the one making the phone calls," he belly laughed.

I couldn't believe I had completely missed it. He just shook his head and shot out that crooked smile like it would get him out of trouble somehow.

"Johnny?"

He looked down to her still laughing about it and praising his own genius until he saw how tired and drain she had become. He knelt down beside her chair. "Yes?"

"Don't torment him for too long okay?" She asked as she patted his hand. "You never know where the right love will come from."

His smile softened as he squeezed her hand back. "Yes ma 'me."

Marco and Chet headed out first saying their goodbyes with smiles and 'see you soon' wishes. My parents were next to leave and the touching goodnight left my mom in tears despite Izzy's reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

When Dixie whispered in her ear she giggled then teared up as Kel and Joe gave warm hugs goodbye. The band had already packed up and kissed her goodnight leaving only Kanda, Roy and Johnny still standing outside with us now. With the night air getting chilly I picked her up and felt her head lay on my shoulder as I carried her inside and to the warm covers of her bed. Her eyes were open though she remained very still as I sat on the bed beside her. The nagging cough was gone for the moment and as I leaned in to kiss her I could tell that something was different about her tonight. The party, was it too much? Had I pushed her too far?

"Hey sunshine, how you doing?" Her silence was unnerving me quickly and as I put my hand on her stomach I could feel the change in her breathing. I've seen her go through a lot of changes over the last few weeks and this was new.

For the first time I was scared. "Iz?"

No answer and my panic escalated rapidly. Standing up I quickly went to the living room and found everyone gathered in a quiet and revere mood speaking in whispered voices.

Kel stepped forward and apparently could see the fear on my face. "Mike?"

My feet were frozen in place and my voice was low. "She seems to be having a little trouble breathing."

He moved past me and went to her room. Somehow, I found my legs again and followed him, my own breaths quick and hesitant.

"Doc," she whispered very low.

I saw him feel for her pulse and brush the locks from her forehead. "Are you comfortable Izzy? Is there anything I can get for you?"

"I'm okay," she answered with a subtle shake of her head.

I watched him pursed his lips together in a struggle to smile to her then pat her arm tenderly with a small squeeze. When he turned around I was standing right there with Dixie now at my side as a silent support. There was so much I wanted to ask him even to argue with him about anything thing he might say. Instead it all left me.

"Doc?" I whispered.

When he didn't answer right away I glanced over to Dixie and watched the tears form in her eyes. She took my hand in hers and squeezed it as if trying to help me focus on what was important now. "Be with her Mike."

I shook my head. "No, no," I said though I'm not sure if the words even came out. No matter how much we talked about this I'm not ready. Not yet, not her. My mind was screaming and no one was hearing it.

NO!

"Mike." Her voice was so low I almost didn't hear it yet I could tune everything out except for what she needed.

Right now she needs me and though my heart was pounding with anguish and my head throbbed with fear I knew where I needed to be. Crouching down low near her I brushed her hair with my fingers grazing her face. "Hey sunshine."

"Lay with me."

Without hesitation I crawled onto the bed beside her then moved her so we could be face to face. I needed to look into her eyes and feel her sweet breath on my face. Our legs intertwined with each other as her head rested on my arm. My fingers traced the edge of her cheek and then to her lips trying to engrave every line and curve into my memory.

"I'm not ready for you to leave me," I whispered as I fought back the tears.

"We can't always be in control baby. If it's my time then I'm ready." Her breaths were short.

"I love you Isabella Newman."

With a soft smile she said, "Sing ….to ….me."

Wrapping my arms around her I pulled her close to make sure her breaths were against my skin and her heart beat against my chest. In a soft low whisper voice I sang to her.

_Dream a little dream of me_

I watched her eyes close as I stole a kiss. My voice choked and I struggled to finish the song for her. As I pulled her tight to me silence filled the room with the only one sound heard.

A beeper vibrating on the dresser.

* * *

_My Heart Beats for You: Original  
Oh My Love: John Lennon  
Blackbird: John Lennon, Paul McCartney  
Dream A Little Dream of Me: Mamma Cass_


	37. Chapter 37

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. ~Thomas Carlyle, _Essays_, "The Opera

* * *

CHAPTER 37

When the Heart Speaks

Roy and Kanda stood by the fireplace quietly holding hands as she let the tears run down her face. Joe had already left having been called in to the ER for surgery leaving Johnny, Dixie and Kel pacing between the windows and around the furniture. Dan couldn't even be around anyone through his silent grief and sat in the kitchen alone, his head in his hands and his heart in prayer for his only daughter. The silent air of grief reached deep into their beings as they struggled to think about what Mike was going through in that room all alone.

"How long?" Roy asked not really able to finish the thought. Not wanting to finish the thought.

Kel shook his head with unknowing and released a big breath. "She doesn't seem to be in any pain."

Johnny was fighting the feeling of being trapped in the confines of the walls around him. This was a new experience for him, to stand around and wait for someone to die, especially someone he knew. Every fiber of him screamed for him to do something, start an IV, call into Rampart, and push some meds, something….anything. But to sit and wait and do nothing?

It was tearing him apart inside.

Leaning against the window and looking out into the darkness his breath would fog up the window then dissipated just as quickly. For a few minutes he focused on that, the lights outside then the blocking of the moisture. It was a mindless distraction to see the breath he created as a tangible thing, a fleeting thing and something that was taken for granted. The little boy in him wanted to reach up and press his finger into it and draw something silly that would make all this insanity around him go away. Instead, he simply followed the pattern of his breath.

Fog…..lights. Fog….lights. Fog...lights. Fog...Mike.

He blinked as he realized it was only Mike's reflection as he stood in the hallway that he was seeing. Being the first one to notice he took in and released a cleansing breath knowing the reason he was here was for his friend. His own grief would have to wait. Turning around he wasn't sure what to expect, tears? Anger? Collapsing grief?

However, what he saw shocked him and sent his heart into overdrive. "Mike?" He said with a shaky voice?

Mike now stood in the door way seemingly unable to speak as he held the buzzing beeper in his hand.

Roy and the others turned at hearing Johnny's call and stood frozen in their own state of disbelief as they tried to register what was happening.

Kel jumped up first. "Mike, Iz?"

Mike, with wide red stained eyes, shook his head. "She's awake," he said shakily and with uncertainty.

Moving past him Kel headed straight for the bedroom with Johnny and Roy hot on his trail. Inside the lights were very dim causing Johnny to reach over to turn on the bedside lamp as Kel stood beside her. Izzy shut her eyes from the intrusive light and gave them a long slow grimace though she didn't move otherwise. Kel leaned in close to her and checked her pulse.

"Izzy? Can you hear me?"

Her breaths were short. "Yes," she whispered.

Kanda came in behind them and passed her stethoscope over to him allowing him to listen to her heart and lungs.

"Izzy, they have a heart for you but you're very weak. Tell me what you want to do."

"What?" Mike's shocked voice came from behind them. The anger was undisguised from those he knew.

Kanda reached out and touched his arm. "Mike, she's very weak right now. The odds of her surviving the surgery are highly against her." Her tone softened. "Don't you think she should have the choice in where she might die?"

His jaw tightened as he eyes got moist again. He wanted to fight it though he could see by the painful worry on her face this was no longer his battle, it was hers. Moving to her side he knelt down on one knee putting him almost nose to nose with her.

"Tell me what you want baby."

She smiled softly to him and his own heart was about to burst with fear of what her answer would be.

"Heart."

Mike broke out into a big smile and turned to Kel who was already on his feet. Mike stayed with Izzy as she rested while the others held an extremely brief meeting. Within a few moments Roy came over to Mike to update him.

"Brackett said put her back on her oxygen and Kanda has supplies so I'm going to get an IV in her. We have a chopper on the way to transport her straight to Loma Linda where the heart is waiting." Roy wanted Izzy calm and more importantly Mike calm through this process which meant having him just as prepared on what to expect.

"Mike, you can't go with her but we will leave the moment the chopper leaves."

He started to protest but Roy shook his head. "We don't have any say in this. As a critical heart patient they won't compromise space. Stay with her until they arrive. Dan just left so he can sign all the paperwork as quick as possible. Time is essential here."

Mike stoically nodded even though his brain raged with unanswered questions. Leaning back down to her he watched her sleep through the IV procedure and felt his chest tighten at the choice she had made. Yes, this was what he wanted for her but by her choosing this path could he have only delayed the inevitable? Could this possibly be the last time he would see her.

"Please hold on a little bit longer baby. We can do this."

He wasn't sure how long had passed but the overpowering sound of the medic chopper near the house brought him out of his revere with Izzy. Kel had been on the phone with the accepting surgeon during the wait discussing how she had been doing in the last week of her wait and the concern over how close they were cutting it.

Looking up Mike saw Kel come back into the bedroom with the medic transport team.

"Mr. Stoker?"

Mike nodded.

"I'm Dr. Ronald Tiepin. I'll be in charge of her care during the transport. Do you have any questions?"

His brain was overwhelmed yet every question seemed to retreat into the dark recesses of his mind, perhaps in fear of what the answers might be. "Just get her there in time."

The older man smiled gently to him. "We'll do our very best young man. We'll take good care of her."

Mike again nodded and stood up to move out of the way as they hooked up all their equipment then loaded her onto the stretcher. He kept waiting to say goodbye but she had never woken back up. Following them out the front door and around the side of the house to an open grassy field he stood back and watched her disappear into the loud machine and then into the dark night.

Roy grabbed his arm and led him to the Rover where Johnny already had it cranked and ready to go. Kanda passed him a small packed bag and gave him a quick hug.

"The guys packed for you since you might be there a few days," she said with a smile.

He returned the smile thankful that someone was thinking things out better than him right at this moment. Thick clouds of doubt and worry left him feeling more lost than when this had all started. With a wave goodbye they headed down the driveway in a race to reach her as soon as possible.

* * *

The hospital was huge, much bigger than Rampart and set in the valley of San Bernardino with mountains as its backdrop. Once they figured out parking it was another journey to find the cardiac surgical area. Exiting the elevator they continued to follow the endless array of signs and arrows until they rounded a corner and came upon a small waiting area with Dan pacing the floor.

"Michael," he greeted him and the others.

"Where is she?" Mike asked immediately.

Dan shook his head. "They took her straight to the OR." He paused. "I never even got to see her before she went."

Mike could see the pain in the father's eyes. At least he had some time with her once the decision was made unlike her own father. Now they had no idea what would happen.

The waiting was agony. They took turns pacing the floor and pouring hot coffee down their throats to keep them going through the long quiet night. Looking at his watch Mike realized they had been there four hours with no word yet and his exhausted frustration took over. Their numerous attempts at getting some form of information from passing nurses had led to no news yet. Something had to give soon or Mike felt like he would have to throttle someone for an update.

It was another three hours passed before the door from the OR opened and a man dressed in scrubs emerged causing all feet to hit the floor in anticipation. This hospital was not their comfortable stomping ground and no connections, no inside lines of information, and no familiar faces left them feeling in the dark. They were just grateful for someone to finally emerge.

The man lowered his mask and revealed a distinguished older man, grey headed with matching mustache and beard. His blue eyes revealed exhaustion and made it impossible to read how the surgery had gone.

Mike's heart was beating out of his chest as Dan stood frozen in place.

"Isabelle?" Dan asked.

"The surgery was difficult. Her extremely weakened state made for problems in maintaining her blood pressure and perfusion."

Mike felt his heart drop.

"Doc, please," Dan reiterated.

"We got her through it, barely. The next forty eight hours will tell us if she can survive it."

He heard all the information, the rambling on of statistics, even how she kept surprising them again and again through the rough spots. She had gotten through it was the most important part to him. Through all the fear of waiting it was the one sentence he had needed to hear most. One step closer to getting through the hell she had determined to put behind her one day. As he processed this onslaught of information a flame rose up that caused him to look up at the weary doctor and smile.

"She'll make it. She's too strong to let go now."

The doctor returned the smile back. "You must be Michael."

That caught him off guard. "Yes." How did this man know who he was?

He smiled. "She was awake before we put her under." His eyebrows rose. "She told me to give you a message."

Yea, that sounded like her Mike thought.

"She said 'Tell Michael I love him and I hope he's ready cause I'm in this for the long haul.'"

Mike really grinned this time.

"They will be moving her to CCU in a couple of hours. We'll be keeping her heavily sedated for the first twenty four hours. After that, if she is able, we will let her start waking up. I can't tell you if this is going to work for her or not in her pre-operative condition. If I had to give odds I would say 20/80."

Roy stepped forward. "Twenty percent chance of accepting the heart?"

He shook his head. "Twenty percent chance that she will survive the next twelve hours."

When he turned and left the men remained silent as they digested the odds against her. Mike however had no intention of accepting the numbers. They could quote statistics all they wanted he knew she was going to survive this and come out strong. Her will was stronger than anything he knew and as soon as he could see her he would remind her of that every minute of every hour over the next twelve hours.

* * *

As the sun came up piercing through the morning haze and warming up the windows the nurse finally came out to let them know she was in a room and briefed them on visitation rules.

Immediate family only.

Dan looked over to Mike and knew that if he didn't remedy this immediately that a scene would ensue to would rival any riot that history has seen.

"I'm Dan her father and this is her husband Mike," he said without hesitation.

Everyone else kept their eyes straight and unplussed.

The nurse didn't question them at all. "Only two at a time. Follow me please."

A quick glance back let Mike know the others would wait for an update and not to worry about them. He followed the nurse into the large highly technical intensive care unit. Her room was on the other side of the nurse's station and just the visual scene that met them was enough to speak of how serious her condition sides of her bed were lined with multiple IV drips with the ventilator on one side and cardiac monitoring equipment on the other. The room had two nurses and a respiratory therapist tending to her and it didn't seem calming at all to Mike.

It was very disconcerting.

"She's well sedated Mr. Newman," the nurse told Dan. "These monitors just help us keep a close eye on her in the first few hours."

He nodded. "Yes, she's been sick for a while. Unfortunately, we're more familiar with all this than we'd like to be."

She nodded with understanding. "Visiting is limited to 15min out of each hour."

Mike started to protest. That wasn't enough and he needed to be near her as much as possible.

The young nurse could see he was distraught. "Right now she is under so much medication that she won't realize you're here and I promise to let you know if anything changes at all. We'll be right here with her at all times."

It wasn't comforting in the least to Mike. Sitting in the waiting room and not being able to see her was making him feel very anxious. "I've been with her everyday over the last few weeks. Separating us now can't be the best for her."

It wasn't the first time the nurse had encountered these concerns and she actually respected family who cared so deeply about their loved ones. "For these first few hours we need her to have zero energy expended as she recovers from the surgery, the cardiac arrest, and the introduction of so many new medications. I know you want to be with her and the quicker we can get her past this initial part, the quicker you can be with her longer."

A monitor started alarming and they all looked up to see it. Mike knew the vitals by now. Her blood pressure was low.

"This is a normal reaction," the nurse told him. "You can see her for a moment then I'll need you to wait outside for a while."

Mike could see the action increasing in the room and the words of the surgeon came back to haunt him. Dan went to her side first and through teary whispers he told her how much he loved her, kissed her on the forehead then headed back to the waiting room. Mike tried to hold her hand but it was loaded with IV's, tape and equipment so he simply stroked her arm.

"You can do this baby, you made it this far. Keep fighting and come back to me soon. I love you so much." Knowing he would breakdown soon he also kissed her on the forehead, slow and passionate then numbly returned to the waiting room.

The next three hour visits were the same. Brief, lots of monitor alarms, and a busy staff circling her. The waiting room volume increased as Hank and Emily, Chet and Marco joined the others in the wait. Little was spoken and other than an encouraging nod or pat on the shoulder they left Mike alone to deal with the stress in his own way.

* * *

Time passes in mystical ways when you are so focused on every tick of the clock like it is taunting and teasing you, daring you to make time go faster. Mike knew that someone had brought lunch earlier though he really didn't know who it had been and he was much too on edge to eat anything. Now he was looking at some carried in dinner and even if it smelled heavenly he just couldn't bring himself to eat.

The crowd constantly shifted as folks came and went as they needed to and it was unspoken that Mike wouldn't be left alone through this difficult time. Periodically he would focus on the room or who was sitting next to him and quietly nod thanks for their presence and caring. Every visit he told Izzy who was out there waiting on her and how it was her job to heal up so they could plan on how to repay the wonderful friends and family they were surrounded by.

The closed doors that separated the waiting room from the CCU stayed fairly busy during the daylight hours and activity waned as the evening approached. Since no one had ever come out to check on them or update them between visits they didn't pay a great deal of attention to comings and goings. However, it was immediately noticed when her heart surgeon came through the door and headed straight for Dan.

At that point in time Chet was waiting with them and stood at Mike and Dan's side for the update.

"What's wrong?" Mike instantly blurted out.

The man released a deep breath. "She's fought as hard as she could."

"No," was all that Dan could reply as he took a step backwards and shook his head.

"I'm sorry but we have her maxed out on all the medications to support her but we can't get her stabilized. I'm not sure she will make it much longer. I think it was just too much for her body to handle."

Mike shook his head, his voice firm. "I need to be with her. You have to let me be with her." He closed his eyes and sighed before continuing. "We've not left her side until now. Keeping us separated from her right now is wrong. She needs me. I'm begging you, please let me be with her."

The doctor watched for a moment and balanced what he expected her outcome to be. "It can't do any harm at this point. Just don't interfere with the staff and their job and you can sit by her."

Mike turned to Dan knowing that they both wanted to be with her. Dan smiled warmly at him and placed his hand on Mike's shoulder. "Go be with her son. You're right you know. She needs to hear your voice."

Mike followed the doctor back into the room and the difference was even starker than earlier visits. The lights were full on, the room was bustling with personnel, and no one wore a face of happy anticipation. The mood was grim and it angered Mike. How dare they give up on her so soon? They didn't know her. They know nothing about what she needs deep down. He was surprised when her nurse gently took his arm and guided him to her side where a chair had been placed by the head of her bed.

"Talk to her," she whispered to him.

He leaned in close and shut out each sound that resonated around him, one by one. The beeping monitor, chirping IV pumps, hurried footsteps and voices of alarm. He focused on the rise and fall of her chest and the warmth of her skin against his. With gentle whispers he began talking to her in hushed tones that kept that world private between just the two of them.

"Do you remember that sunset that we watched on the mountain? You know I've seen a lot of sunsets and nothing will ever compare to watching that one, that night with you." He knew his voice was shaking and that she needed to hear him confident and strong. "Watching your face was, well, incredible. It was like seeing a kid seeing Santa for the first time."

He crossed his arms and rested his chin on them as he spoke. "You know I've tried to think a lot of times about the moment I feel in love with you. It's hard cause moments like that mountain, or the ants, or even watching you sing at the bar all made me fall for you over and over again. But I think the very first time that I knew was back in the parking lot at the fire. Crazy huh? I don't know, your eyes always told me so much. Maybe I just got really good at reading them after that first deep look into your soul. But, I did see them that day. You may not have known what brought you there but you knew why. Deep down you knew you were there for me. And now baby I'm here for you and I'm not letting you leave me yet."

Reaching up he wiped the tears from his face. "You wanted this so now you have to fight for it. You didn't give up anywhere along the way, you never gave up. So you can't give up now. I'm right here and more than anything I need to see those eyes again. I need to see that you know why. Why I'm here, why I love you so much and why we are not done with this life yet."

Smiling at her he ran his fingers through her hair. "I still have my tux." He chuckled softly. "Does that make me delusional? I just couldn't bring myself to return it. Guess a buried part of me still hoped. Baby, I still want that for us. I need you to accept this new heart and get better for us both. I want to marry you and live the rest of my life with you. Please, Izzy. Fight baby."

Closing his eyes he reached down and squeezed her hand. "Come on baby. Fight." Then he began to hum. It was simply a tune that he had shared with her before so many times before when they were alone and in the quiet. "Love is you," he whispered. "You and me. Love is knowing, we can be." Feeling like he couldn't speak anymore he returned to humming and when that song ended he went to another one then another. It was the only thing he could do in the chaos that ensued around him and his lack of control that felt overpowering.

When he finally paused in between those breaths that seemed laden with a weight which threatened to drag him down he listened. Then he froze.

The room had gone quiet.

* * *

Mike slowly sat up and looked around the room to see Izzy's nurse standing beside him, her doctor at the foot of her bed and two others on the other side of the bed. They were all looking at him and as he searched their eyes he tried to figure out what their quiet expressions revealed. Then he looked up to her monitors expecting to see nothing on the screen. The room was too quiet. The bustling activity had stopped somewhere along the way and the lights were once again dimmed.

His brain worked hard at processing the change. The monitor revealed a heartbeat and for the first time he took a breath in. In fact it revealed a steady beat. Her blood pressure wasn't alarming and the numbers were still low, but acceptable now. They were up. Looking back to the doctor his eyes questioned what happened.

The doctor smiled at him. "I don't know what you're telling her son but don't stop now."

Mike didn't even ask. He just nodded and went back to humming to her knowing now that she was hearing him. Deep down through all those medications she knew he was there and that was all he needed to know for right now.

* * *

"He's quite a remarkable young man," the doctor told Dan in the waiting room.

Dan smiled knowing that wasn't new information to him. "And Izzy?"

"I can't explain it but her vitals have stabilized for now. She's not out of danger yet though and I'm still expecting some ups and downs through the next twenty four hours."

"But she's past the worst of it now?"

He nodded. "I think she's made it past the hardest part."

* * *

Mike slept stretched out between two chairs. He had become an expert at sneaking in a meal, updates, naps, and showers between the brief visits with Izzy. Familiar faces from the station, their homes, and the saloon continued to filter through making sure he was okay and also taking care of himself.

Feeling a tap on his shoulder he woke up to see her nurse standing beside him.

"Iz?" He yelped as he jumped to his feet.

"Easy there. No reason to panic. The unit is quiet and I thought it might be a good time for you to squeeze in an extra visit with her."

He smiled at her thoughtfulness. "It would be great, thanks."

Many of the rooms had emptied since her admission nearly three days earlier and it made the entire unit seem more peaceful with the absence of chaos. Entering her room he immediately noticed the removal of some of her equipment by the bed.

"Yep, a little more gone which means a little bit better," the nurse smiled.

She had been off the sedation for almost twenty four hours and still remained unresponsive to anyone. The staff kept reassuring him that it wasn't that unusual and to just be patient. She had made it this far and he had grown very use to the concept of patience by now. Still, with every visit he talked to her about future plans and he shared some music with her. The staff had even allowed a small radio into her room where something played throughout the day and night, soft and low.

"So Johnny and Roy came by between runs to see how you were doing baby. Apparently, Chet set fire to the kitchen today and they had to call it in." He laughed. "Chet blamed the poor oven but Johnny says he got caught in his own prank when he tried to tip some oil over onto Johnny's head." He tusked with his tongue. "Poor Phantom, got the raw end of that deal."

He shifted so his arms crossed next to her head. "You know babe, I know it might be scary to wake up from all this and face the pain and healing. Just don't forget you're not alone through it all. You dad is right here and my mom and dad have come down to check on you. Everyone is ready to see that smile again. I'm trying to be patient but it's hard, I admit that much. I'm ready to see those beautiful green eyes again."

Reach up he slid the back of his fingers down her cheek. "How about it? Can you flash me some pretty greens?"

It was the same conversation every visit and ended with the same request. He glanced up at her monitor and was reassured by the steady vital signs until he heard his name.

"Mike?!"

The nurse was pointing to Izzy. He stood up and leaned over her as her eyes opened and began to look around the room. When they found him he smiled and felt his eyes tear up.

"Well, hello there sunshine."


	38. Chapter 38

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

"My whole heart for my whole life."

A/N: I want to say thanks to those who have read and encouraged me through this journey. Thanks so much for your support and time.

* * *

CHAPTER 38

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

"If you don't stop squirming," Roy grumbled with exasperation.

Johnny tugged at his neck. "Man, you're the one trying to choke me here."

Roy turned around to see Kanda standing in the doorway and threw his hands up. "He's all yours. If I don't get there on time Mike is going to kill me."

She laughed. "Well, I hope we can get through the day without anyone dying. Go ahead and we'll be right behind you."

Johnny scowled at his big sister. "I'm not a child. You don't have to talk around me like I'm five."

Ignoring his whine she put on the finishing touches then patted his arm. "Remember, behave today please."

He returned her smile with his own crooked one. "Now, do I look like someone who would cause trouble?"

Deciding it was better to not even answer she turned him towards the door. "Okay handsome. Let's ust get going."

* * *

Mike shuffled his feet with anticipation and worry that something would go wrong. A million details and decisions had led them to this point and his deep breath almost shuttered as his hands wrung with expectation.

Eyeing the sky careful he regarded the clouds as they drifted by and swore vengeance if rain should dare pick today of all days to show up. That is one blessing California offered, rare rain days making outdoor events less likely to be drenched. So, with the faith of a child he decided to trust the weatherman on this all important day. With a smile he remembered naming animals and shapes with her in the grass when they thought all their options had abandoned them. It seemed so long ago now, a life time ago really, even though it had only been a few months.

Once she opened up her eyes in the ICU the tide had turned and she continued to improve. Her stubborn tenacity had proven beneficial in showing the staff and doctors exactly what she was capable of as they watched her surpass every hurdle with a determination that couldn't be put down. Even the initial ups and downs had proven that their endurance was strong and their faith in each other unstoppable.

He also remembered that heart-rending moment when she had felt well enough to put the puzzle pieces together and realized what he had given up along the way. He held her close as she vacillated from crying to furious with him then back to sobbing. It had been an ordeal that left them both mentally and physically exhausted and eventually they silently tucked it away to deal with on another day. With a relief he knew that today was not that day.

Progressing from the ICU to a room and finally to physical therapy had been well rehearsed by the transplant team at the hospital and they saw them through it in a timely and expert manner. Her list of meds were new, anti-rejection drugs that came with their own side effects but nothing that rivaled what she had dealt with before. This time it wasn't a temporary patch, it was the real deal and somehow that made them more tolerable.

This heart had come with no guarantee's, no warranty and an expiration date that held as many questions coming out of the hospital as they had going in. They both knew the statistics and had chosen to not anticipate an end date. They only appreciated the days they had before them even more so a mutual promise had been made to not count them anymore. The days of doing that was in the past and they looked to the future with only hope and promise.

"Ready?"

Mike turned to find Roy standing beside him sharply dressed in full uniform with his own mischievous smile.

"Usually I'm worried about what Chet is up to," Mike smirked at his friend.

Roy tried to look all casual and relaxed. "I'm just happy for ya pally."

"Thanks Roy." He then looked ahead towards the others and released a deep cleansing breath. "Okay, let's do this."

* * *

"I don't think that's how you do it," Chet eyed Johnny closely.

Johnny looked perturbed. "Of course this is how you do it." He shoved his hands to his chest. "Don't you think I know how this is done by now?" He turned back to his pet project and continued muttering under his breath about doubters and bossy firemen who only knew how to supervise but not actually get anything done.

"Really?"

Johnny froze at Hank's voice. "Uh… now Cap," he turned around. "You know I'm not talking about you of course."

The smirk on Hank's face let him know that he wasn't being serious either.

"The problem is that neither one of you twits know how to do this. Give me that!" he barked then snatched the paper out of Johnny's hands.

Johnny backed up but shot a smile over to Chet as they watched their Captain put on the final touches.

Hank stood up and dusted the remaining evidence from his hands. "There, now if we don't hurry up we're gonna miss the whole thing and I'll blame you Kelly," he said as he pointed a finger right at the confused mustached man.

Chet threw up his hands, "What?"

Johnny pushed him from behind. "Just go and don't ask. I'm sure he could find a latrine in this place if he looked hard enough."

* * *

Izzy stood and shifted her feet nervously. Her heart was pounding and she tried the relaxing breaths to slow it down without success.

"It's a good thing this ticker is behaving because I'm giving it a full blown work out as we speak."

Kanda fussed with the wild tendrils and tugged and tucked in all the right places while holding bobby pins in her mouth. "Be still," she muttered through the pins.

"Sorry," Izzy said with a giggle. "I can't help it. I mean I'm supposed to be mildly insane at this point right?" She looked down as Kanda slipped her shoes on her feet.

Looking up she smiled. "Yes darling, you're allowed to be nervous. Just take a deep breath and let it out slow. Picture him and you'll be just fine."

Roy came around the corner. "Have you seen Chet?"

Izzy's eyes got huge and Kanda glared at him for upsetting the already rattled woman. "Really? Now is when you decide to lose him?"

Realizing that Izzy was back to deep breathing exercise's he quickly excused himself and ran back out of sight.

"You don't think he's…..well I mean he wouldn't…..would he?" Izzy stumbled over her words.

Kanda had to struggle to not laugh. "He's fine, you're fine, everyone is fine. Now close your eyes."

Izzy complied as she felt Kanda touch up her makeup. Emily ran up to them just as Izzy looked up again.

"Oh Izzy!"

Kanda shushed her. "Shhhh, don't jinx her and she's already a nervous nelly as it is."

Emily smiled. "This is perfect and you're perfect so don't worry okay?"

Izzy tried to nod in a convincing manner. When Dan came around the corner she had to struggle to not let the tears flow. "Don't make me mess up my mascara dad."

The other ladies laughed as he held out his arm to her. "Ready princess?"

"More than ever."

* * *

As she stepped off the walkway and onto the grassy lawn a beautiful rendition of Pachelbel Canon in D Major began to play filling the air with piano, violin, and cello harmony that sent a tightness of excitement and anticipation through her chest.

The grass was emerald green and perfect as the garden of roses, lilies, lavender, and salvia of all colors surrounded the white lace covered arch that stood before them. Lines of white wooden chairs outlined the path to the arch and the first thing she saw were joyful faces as they stood up and received her as she made her way down the aisle.

They were all there for them. Mike's parents, aunts, uncles and cousins from his side of the family along with the little family of distant cousins and her aunt that she had. Many of the Rampart crew were represented by her own burn unit staff and the ER staff. Even some new faces from Loma Linda that she had become friends over the last few months joined in the celebration. She was moved to see so many friends that shared in this moment of happiness with them.

Her eyes were already watering up. "Don't cry yet, we're just getting started," her dad whispered to her bring back that smile he loved.

Then she looked forward to see him standing there waiting and her heart melted. Every worry and fear, every anxiety and fret disappeared as she approached the man she loved more than she ever felt possible. She knew that smile was just for her and it took her back to not only the first smile he gave her but everyone one since.

And if that wasn't enough he looked amazing in the black tux, tall, sharp and handsome enough to …..Well that thought was for later she almost giggled out loud.

Next to him stood Roy, then Hank, Johnny, Marco and Chet, all in dress uniforms. She had to admit to herself how nice the crew looked all decked out. Each held a pink rose boutonniere pinned to their lapel and stood with their own flashing smiles as she drew closer.

Her side held Kanda, Emily, Kharis, Dixie and her friend Alice from work. Kanda wore a dark rose full length dress with a light pink wide ribbon around her waist while the others wore the inverse color pattern. Jenny stood next to Kanda with her basket of rose petals and bubbled with that precious childlike excitement.

He watched her walk towards him with wonderment and nervous anticipation. How could she be so calm looking when he was a nervous wreck? Her stride was graceful and it was the first time he had seen her mother's wedding dress. She took his breath away. The light veil over her face couldn't mask the radiant smile underneath and nothing could hide the tumbling locks of wild red hair that fell down her back.

As she and Dan reached him the music came to a close.

"Who gives this woman to be wedded to this man," the minister said.

Dan smiled softly to her as he took her hand in his and gently squeezed it. "I do." He then placed her hand into Mike's waiting one.

The minister addressed the gathering. "I have had the honor of knowing Isabelle and her father for many years now and more recently in meeting Michael as they shared with me the incredible journey that they traveled to reach this point. I would like to now read a poem that I think conveys how they feel about each other."

Mike squeezed her hand gently as the pastor began reading.

_My true love has my heart, and I have his,  
By just exchange one for another given:  
I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss,  
There never was a better bargain driven:  
My true love has my heart, and I have his._

_His heart in me keeps him and me in one,_  
_My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides:_  
_He loves my heart, for once it was his own,_  
_I cherish his because in me it bides:_  
_My true love has my heart, and I have his_.

When he finished he turned to Mike.

"Please repeat after me. I Charles Michael Stoker, take you, Isabelle Grace Newman to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

Through held back tears Izzy repeated the vow to him. As the pastor stepped back Izzy and Mike stood together while Jake strummed the guitar and Melanie began to sing. When the song was over Mike turned to face her and gently took her hand into his. As he slid the precious gold band onto her finger he said, "I give you this ring to wear with love and joy. As a ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I choose you to be my wife this day and forevermore."

She then put her ring onto his finger. "I give you this ring to wear with love and joy. As a ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I choose you to be my husband this day and forevermore."

They turned to the pastor as the told them, "By the power vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

This was the moment he had waited his whole life for and now he had it. The only person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Reaching up and gently placing the veil back over her head he shared his own mischievous smile as he placed both hands around her face to cradle it. When his lips touched hers the world disappeared for just a brief moment as he gave his new wife a kiss full of passion and love.

His wife.

Finally things were right in the world.

The snickering that came from behind them pulled them out of that private world and back into reality. When they turned around grinning and blushing the crowd went to their feet as the pastor announced.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Michael Stoker."

Applause and cheers erupted around them. Looking past the crowd Mike's eyes caught sight of a true surprise. The end of the row was now lined with firemen in turnouts and helmets holding pike poles to form an archway path as their exit. Izzy laughed as they hurried down the aisle and through the ceremonial exit. Mike silently thanked each familiar face he passed knowing the men from various stations and feeling deeply moved by the gesture his friends had given them.

Saying he had missed them was an understatement of the year.

"I can't believe this," Mike stuttered as they came up to the next waiting shocker. It was in the form of Johnny and Roy's refurbished fire engine which was now decorated with white streamers and adorned with flowers on the hood.

It was absolutely perfect.

Mike looked back to the 51 A shift crew with amazement. "How?"

Hank stepped forward and shook his hand. "I always told you we're here for ya pally. Don't ever forget that."

Mike felt speechless and simply nodded for the lack of words that could express what he was feeling right then, surrounded by those who had supported them through all the rough times.

"See ya at the reception," Johnny said as he tossed him the keys.

"And don't get lost. I'm starving," Chet chimed in.

Izzy leaned over to Chet and kissed him on the cheek. "Maybe just a little lost," she winked.

She wasn't sure who blushed more, Chet or Michael.

* * *

"Are they here yet?" Chet whined as he circled the tables at the Blue River Saloon.

Johnny peeked out the door once more then turned back smiling. "Well, they're technically here."

Chet headed to the door to hurry them up but found Johnny's hand on his chest to stop him. "Um, you might want to give them just a couple more minutes."

Dixie laughed. "And here I just thought that old engine was still slow as molasses."

Johnny scoffed. "Hey now, that engine has a lot of life still left in her."

Roy walked by and patted him on the shoulder. "Your memory has tarnished with age."

Johnny laughed. "Yea, probably. Out of sight out of mind I guess."

Kel popped a peanut into his mouth. "I thought that thing was long gone."

"Well Roy here kept tabs on it after we sold it and the old fella was very amenable to letting us borrow it one more time for a good cause," Johnny said as he peeked out the window again.

"That was more than a good cause," Kanda said. "Did you see his face? It was a great gift you did for him." She looked around the decorated room. "All of this. It's really amazing and they're going to love it."

"We need to go in," Izzy giggled in his arms.

"Sorry, I have you now. I don't plan on ever letting go again." He leaned in for another kiss.

"You don't have to let go, but if we don't get in there I have a feeling they will come out after us."

He sighed. "Okay," then grinned as his finger traced her lips. "Let's go have a party."

When they walked inside the front door the crowd whooped and hollered with joyous greetings that left them laughing and full of anticipation to get it started. Izzy looked at the main room with wonder as the rafters were full of streamers, the poles wrapped in satin ribbons and every chair had a white backing with a pink satin ribbon. The flowers from the wedding had been moved and now lined the stage with bright colors of pink, green, and deep rose.

On the stage the band was already playing a lively country tune that had toes tapping and couples on the dance floor. As they mingled through the room they found the grooms cake and Mike eyed it with nostalgia with the replica red fire truck bringing back years of great memories.

"Hope this was okay?"

Mike looked up to see Marco's mother standing there with a caring smile on her face.

"You have good memories there and it's so much in your heart hon." She reached out and patted his chest. "Don't ever give up on getting it back."

His eyes teared up. "Thank you Mrs. Lopez. This really means a lot to me."

Two more tables were full of hot foods which filled the air with wonderful aromas that made the taste buds water. The final table held the wedding cake. She had planned this just for them and like a kid in a candy store she couldn't wait for him to see it.

He let out a giant laugh then leaned in to kiss her passionately.

The four round tier white fondant covered cake was adorned with real pink roses and lace ribbons that matched the lace on her dress. Reaching from the bottom to the top tier was a brown chocolate ladder and the top was adorned with a dressed out dark headed fireman with a red headed dressed in white bride being carried in his arms.

"If you will follow me please."

They both saw Marco motioning to them through the crowd so they followed. Down near the dance floor and over to the side waited a specially decorated table just for two of them. It had a perfect view of the party and the band. Mikes mom brought them both a plate of food, kissing Izzy on the cheek and sharing her personal congratulations with them.

After getting a few bites in they were again pulled away for pictures and the ceremonial cake cutting. Everyone laughed when Roy passed them a small version of a fire ax with a red and pink ribbon on it to cut the cake with. They eyed each other with great scrutiny as their hands held cake to share. Her look was 'you wouldn't dare' while his was clearly 'oh yes I would'. The dodging and darting was enough to get them laughing so hard they couldn't even eat the cake when it finally reached somewhere near their mouth.

"These shots will look great in the fireman weekly journal," Chet chuckled until Mike shot him a glare. "Fine, fine, maybe just the bulletin board then."

Mike's return look made Chet wonder if any pictures would leave the Saloon, ever.

"May I have this dance?" Dan held out his hand to her.

Pulling her out to the dance floor he gently glided with her around but lacked the words to express how he really felt. Having come so close to losing her had been almost unbearable and until Mike came back into their lives he had begun to wonder how much more he could take. The band changed songs and they both became sentimental about the song that played.

_I hope you don't mind that I put down in words  
How wonderful life is while you're in the world_

"It took a lot of miracles to get us here," he whispered to her. "And I thank God for every one of them."

She hugged him close. "I couldn't have made it without you dad. I love you so much. Thank you for everything."

When the song ended Mike stood there ready for his turn and took her hand as Dan passed her to him. "Take good care of her for me son," he said in a humbled voice.

"I promise to."

The next song had been his request. She had actually suggested something slow and sappy by his definition and had finally agreed to his request. So their dance was light and carefree as Queen sounded through the room.

_I really love you  
Oh you're my best friend  
Ooh you make me live_

As he swirled her around the room and her smile filled his heart he suddenly pulled her close and moved slower. "You _are_ my best friend I hope you know that."

She leaned against him. "Always."

After a couple more dances with others on the floor they returned to their table so she could rest from the busy and tiring day. When Hank climbed up on stage and took the microphone the room quieted to his throat clearing and the band paused in their playing.

"Now, I promised Mike that I wouldn't get up here to give a big ole speech but sorry pally you know us Captains have to get in a speech when we can."

The crowd laughed then watched the rest of the 51 crew come up onto the stage behind him.

"I think most everyone here knows how much you and Izzy went through to reach this point in your lives but no one more than us up here that had to say goodbye to you." He paused and cleared his throat again.

Hank continued. "It takes a lot of courage to give up something so important to focus your attention on something that you love even more. And we understood that pally, we really did. But now it's time for us to say our peace."

Mike suddenly felt unsure about where this was headed as he quickly looked to Izzy, who was obviously just as taken aback has he was.

"Michael, I need you and Izzy to please join us on stage."

They both stood up and passed the now silent crowd as they worked their way up to the stage and stood beside Hank.

"Everyone might not be aware that in order for Michael to stand beside Izzy through this ordeal that he had to resign from the Fire Department. Recently, he sought out his position again with the department only to be told that there were no openings at that time. It has weighed heavy on us as your friends and fellow firemen. " Hank hung his head down with sadness. "So, we wanted to be able to give you something special on this important day."

Hank took a step back and turned to the others with his hands held out. An exchange occurred then he returned to forward pose facing Mike and Izzy.

"Charles Michael Stoker," he said in an official tone.

Mike subconsciously stood up straighter in response to his Captains tone.

Hank stepped closer to him and reached for his tux lapel then to Mike's pure astonishment and shock Hank pinned his badge to his chest. "I am officially authorized to welcome you, as firefighter and engineer specialist, back to Station 51 duty." He then pinned Mike's name tag on the other side.

Reaching out his hand he took Mikes in a tight grasp. "Welcome back home pally."

Tears filled his eyes and he had no idea how to thank him or those that walked up to shake his hand. These men were his friends, the ones that had risked their lives to save him over and over, who would give their lives if necessary. The thought of being able to go back to his home away from home overwhelmed him.

Hank smiled. "We're not done yet."

He next looked to Izzy who held onto her husband's arm like a life line and Hank knew that was exactly what they were to each other. "Izzy," he shook his head. "You came into our life at the station like a whirlwind that had no end. You brought out the best in Michael and we watched him heal and fall in love with you. When you marry a fireman you marry into the department. We are a family and you are a part of that now. We will always be here for you and Michael through brotherhood and friendship."

He turned to Chet. "Kelly."

Chet stepped forward and pulled from behind his back a turn out coat that read STOKER on the back that he helped her put on and an old beat up helmet that read 51. Leaning in he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Welcome to the family."

Her tears were unabashed and flowed without care. "Thank you."

Next, Roy stepped forward and approached her. "Being a fireman's wife isn't always easy. Sometimes we get so caught up in our job that we forget how much you worry until we make it home safe. Like Cap said, we're a family and we will always do whatever we can to get him back home to you at the end of every shift." He pulled up a wooden plaque.

"This is for you, from us." Then he read the words out loud.

_Lord, I thank you for my husband and this fire fighter that I love  
Give me strength to give him support with your guidance from above  
Make me a good partner, attentive listener, my husband's best friend  
When I chose him I chose a fire fighter, and the job on which we depend  
Lord, keep my fire fighter safe when our plan's have gone awry  
Answering an emergency call with a life or death cry  
Keep the gusting winds and ranging flames from being his final fate  
Lord, help me cope with the trauma of being a fire fighter's mate._

As he passed her the plaque she reached out to hug him through all the tears.

Hank took the microphone again. "Now," he said with emphasis. "I think we need a party."

Izzy and Mike danced with hearts of joy, complete with badges and a wedding dress adorned with the beautiful and ever classy turn out coat. The songs didn't stop anymore, nor did the flow of food, alcohol and fellowship with friends and family. It was an evening with a hundred reasons to celebrate that lingered well into the night for them all.

As Mike danced with her in his arms beautiful in his own firefighter coat he realized that he held his wife, his lover, and most of all his best friend. With a silent prayer above he asked for many years of that to come.

* * *

EPILOGUE:

Mike threw his helmet onto the seat of the engine as soon as he backed it into the bay and could manage to drag his exhausted body out of it. His first shift back had been harrowing between a massive structural chemical fire first thing in the morning, then endless runs during the day to end with a devastating house fire that no amount of water could save.

He ran his hand down big red as he walked along beside her and despite the pressures of the job that day he let out a smile. Izzy was doing great, the wedding had been amazing, and he had gotten back to work. He had no idea how he had managed to get everything he wanted. Somehow it had all worked out despite the vexing yellow brick road journey to get here.

"You okay?" Roy asked him.

Mike wiped the sweaty black soot from his face and fire singed eyes, shrugged out of his toasted turn out coat then twirled the gold band on his finger.

"Yea," he nodded. "Actually, I think I'm great."

* * *

_There Is Love_ by Captain and Tennille  
_Your Song_ by Elton John  
_You're My Best Friend_ by Queen  
Fireman's Wife Prayer – Anonymous


End file.
